by Amber Garza
My heart ached. Was the Ava I knew even in there? My gaze landed on the spot where last week Ava and I had sat and written a song together. She was better at lyrics than I was, but I was the best at coming up with harmonies. We’d hunched over a notebook, our friend Sam plucking out the notes on his guitar. Once we were done, we recorded a rough version on my phone. If only I had my phone now. I longed to pull it out. To listen to it. To have proof that it really happened.
“You lost?” Ava asked me. Her tone was rude. It was like she hated my guts.
I frowned. “Um…no. Sorry.” Ducking my head, I spun around and scurried away from them. But it wasn’t far enough. Their laughter trailed me.
Ava had never been mean. She’d been bullied early on in elementary school. Since then, she’d made it her mission to be kind. My Ava never would’ve ran me out of the quad like that. Sure, she disliked the popular crowd as much as I did. But rarely did she lower herself to their level. That only happened on the rarest of occasions, and only as a way of exacting revenge.
I froze.
Was that what she was doing?
Had I been mean to her? Had I hurt her in some way?
Clutching my middle, I felt sick.
“Hey, girl.” Brooke rushed up the minute I entered the cafeteria, bumping me in the side with her hip. “Where ya been?” Linking arms with me, she walked forward.
“Oh.” I glanced around. Nick’s gaze met mine, and he smiled. Thoughts of Ava left my mind. I walked alongside Brooke, my eyes never leaving Nick’s. “I had to talk to my teacher after class.”
“Is that English?” Brooke’s lips curled downward. I nodded. “I have to talk to Mrs. Sullivan too. Gotta change my essay topic. They’re all out of the books I need at the library.”
“Books? What books?”
“Any books on my topic.” She shook her head. “How am I supposed to get the research done. So annoying.”
“Just go online,” I blurted out before I could stop myself.
“Go where?” She asked.
“Nowhere,” I answered swiftly.
Luckily, we reached the table and Katie and Melody waved us over. Smiling, I slid my arm out of Brooke’s and plunked down on the bench. It creaked beneath me.
For a minute Brooke still eyed me funny, but then Katie started talking to her about her latest shopping spree and they got engrossed in a conversation. I pulled out my lunch bag and spilled the contents on the table. A bag of chips, a diet soda and a sandwich. I almost laughed out loud. My mom had never packed me a lunch like this. She swore soda caused cancer and didn’t buy anything with red dye in it. My lunch normally consisted of raw fruit, a wrap or salad and a bottled water.
Breaking open the bag of chips, I took a bite out of one, enjoying the salty flavor. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d had a chip. Most likely, it was at Ava’s.
Across from me, Nick and his friends were razzing each other about football practice. When the conversation died down, he glanced at me and nodded his head. “What’s up?”
“Um…nothing really…you know, school. Classes. Just came from English.” Dude. Remy. Shut. Up. Response not required. I may have been from a different year, but was I from another planet? Contrary to my behavior, I had interacted with humans before. But not these ones. And never at the popular table.
Okay, so this was huge.
At least that was my excuse, and I was sticking to it.
Nick’s lips curled upward in that amused smile I was getting to know pretty well. “You’re cute when you ramble.”
My mouth dried out. I reached for my soda and took a much-needed gulp. But I drank too swiftly, and it gave me the hiccups. Oh, right. Carbonation = hiccups. Nice to see my body was the same.
“What are you doing after the game Friday night?” Nick propped his elbows up on the table.
“Um…” Hiccup. Great.
Nick laughed. “You okay?”
“Just got the…” hiccup. “…the…” hiccup.
Another laugh from Nick. Another hiccup from me. Oh, god. Embarrassing.
Brooke peered over, her brows furrowing. I shrugged. Another hiccup escaped. The look she gave me could only be described as irritation. Leave it to me to bring out this side of her. I always had.
“Boo!” Hands grabbed my shoulders, scaring the crap out of me.
I screamed, my body jolting. Arms came around my waist. “It’s okay. It’s just me.” Nick whispered in my ear, his chin resting on my shoulder. His words were meant to calm me, but they had the opposite effect. My heart raced. The rest of our table broke out in laughter. “Sorry, but it’s the only way I know to get rid of hiccups.”
Taking a deep breath, I realized it had worked.
“They gone?” He asked.
I turned my head, our faces so close our noses almost touched. It took all the strength inside to force out a breath. “Uh huh.” I wanted to be angry with him for scaring me and for making everyone laugh. But I wasn’t.
Not even a little bit.
His hands. His touch. My skin. On fire. His face. His lips. So close to mine. Oh, god. I couldn’t breathe.
When he drew back, I inhaled sharply, much needed air flooding my lungs.
“Works every time.” He rubbed his palms together as he sat back down across from me. “So, anyway, about the game Friday…”
“Oh. Right.” I blinked. Once. Twice. Took in a deep breath. Forced myself out of my Nick-induced stupor. “I honestly hadn’t even planned on being at the game…but...” I’d never been to one, but then again, I’d never been asked by the star quarterback.
Brooke’s head whipped in my direction. I could feel the heat of her stare. “You’re joking, right? You have to be at the game.”
My stomach plummeted. God, I was an idiot. Of course. I was a cheerleader now. “Yeah.” I made myself laugh. “Obviously, it was a joke.”
Brooke cocked her head to the side, appearing confused. But then laughed along with me. Thank god she didn’t ask if I was sick again.
Facing Nick, I said, “I don’t think I have any plans for after the game.” At least I hoped I didn’t. I honestly had no idea.
“Some of us were gonna get together. Wanna join?”
Um…hell yes. Was that even a real question? There’s nothing I’d rather do.
But I forced myself to remain calm and gently nodded. “Yeah, that sounds good.”
“Awesome.” A large smile swept his face. My stomach fluttered.
Friday night was going to be epic.
SIX
Another day down in bizarro world.
Mom in weird aerobics outfit. Check.
Me in a floral dress. Check.
Nick picking me up for school in his cool mustang. Check.
Brooke and her posse waiting for me in the parking lot. Check.
Lunch at the popular table. Check.
Ava shooting me dirty looks in the hall. Check.
Watching Mom wolf down a tiny microwave meal while Pres and I ate pasta. Check and double check.
Now we were at the portion of the evening where we watched TV. At least this part felt relatively normal (except that we were actually watching TV, not sitting in front of it while perusing our phones). Have I mentioned how much I missed my cell? Snapchat? IG? YouTube? Facetime? ITunes?
Ugh. I digress.
When a commercial came on, I glanced out the front window and picked at the polish on my fingernail (pastel pink at Brooke’s suggestion). Normally I gravitated toward dark purples and blues, the same color the sky was at the moment. From where I sat, I had the perfect view of Nick’s house. So, it’s not like I was watching for him when he stepped out of his house holding a trash bag. I couldn’t help but see him.
His hair gently lifted off his forehead in the breeze. The way he held the bag made the muscles on his arm flex. Oh, yep. There went that fluttery thing in my belly again. I swear it was like flipping on a switch or something.
I wanted to run out and talk to
him. And I could. Right? I mean, we were friends now. I started to scoot forward, but then stopped myself. He rounded the corner. I was losing my window of opportunity. And what was stopping me?
I guess I didn’t want to seem desperate. Or like I was watching him.
How creepy was that?
But what if it was a coincidence? He was taking out the trash. What if I was too?
I shot up.
“Be right back,” I muttered under my breath.
Mom glanced up. “Where are you going?”
“To take out the trash. It was totally overflowing after dinner,” I said.
“That’s your brother’s responsibility.” Mom narrowed her eyes at my brother. “Pres?”
“The show’s coming back on,” he whined. “I’ll do it later.”
“It’s fine. I don’t mind,” I said, hurrying from the room. I was running out of time. As fast as humanly possible, I yanked the bag out of the trash can in the kitchen. I wasn’t lying. It was overflowing. Pres was totally slacking. But whatever. It worked out for me anyway.
Nick was almost to his front door when I stepped out our side one. I’d almost missed him. My heart pounded in my chest. I walked swiftly forward in case he didn’t see me.
With his hand on the doorknob, he craned his neck in my direction. I smoothed down my hair with my free hand and forced my breathing to slow. In my haste, I hadn’t thought this all the way through. What was I wearing? Sweats and a t-shirt. Great. And I was pretty sure my hair was a mess. Also, I didn’t have on shoes. And it was cold. Like really cold. Was it obvious that I’d raced out here to catch him? I hoped not.
His gaze landed on the garbage bag in my hand. “You too, huh?”
“Oh. Is that why you’re out here?” I asked like I didn’t already know. Like I hadn’t been watching him. Like this wasn’t totally planned.
“Yep. Just tossed it.” He rubbed his palms together.
“Great minds.” Huh? This was why I missed my phone. It gave me time to edit my words. Clearly, I wasn’t witty on the fly.
“And by great minds, I’m guessing you mean our moms?” He laughed, raising a brow.
It was getting worse. I let out a nervous laugh. “Yeah, cause they’re obviously the ones who asked us to take out the trash. It’s not like I did it without being asked…and you probably didn’t either…so…” Seriously. Kill me now. Take out the knife and stab me quick to put me out of my misery.
“Right.” He smiled in an amused way. “How’d your brother get out of it?”
I froze. “What?”
“I usually see him with the trash.” Nick shrugged.
“Oh…um…Yep. He usually does take out the trash, but not this time. I guess I kinda owed him. He did some stuff for me, so I sorta offered….” Oh my god, stop talking. Close your mouth, press your lips together and don’t say another word. Maybe instead I could just smile and flutter my lashes. That seemed to work for girls in the movies.
“Cool. My sister was never like that.”
Oh, yeah. I’d forgotten about Stacey. She was a senior when I was a freshman. Seemed pretty nice. Really into sports. Not popular like Nick, but not unpopular either really. Just kind of in-between, I guess. “How is Stacey?”
“Um…” He scratched the top of his head, scrunched up his nose and frowned. “She’s okay?” Was he asking me? “She’s finishing up college. Dating someone. They’re pretty tight, I think.”
It all sounded good. Not frown-worthy. But, clearly, I was missing something. Something he didn’t want to share. And I wouldn’t make him.
“Cool.” I flashed him a smile. See, that wasn’t so hard, was it? Stick to one-word answers and smiles. Make that your new thing.
“Yeah.” His eyebrows were knit together, his expression pensive.
My insides knotted. I never should’ve asked about his sister. But how was I to know? He brought her up first. I tried to remember anything else about her. Did she seem troubled? My memories were vague at best, but she was always happy and smiling. Huh. Weird. Well, I guess people change.
I stood up on my tiptoes to give the bottom of my feet a reprieve. They were legit frozen by this point.
“I should let you put the trash down.” He bobbed his head down toward my hand and then down to my bare feet. “Aren’t your feet cold?”
Major understatement. I nodded, finally allowing my teeth to chatter.
“Here.” He reached out and snatched it from my fingers. “I got it.”
“Thanks.” My insides warmed. My feet stayed cold though. He really was the sweetest. Who knew?
“See ya tomorrow morning?” He did that eyebrow thing that drove me wild.
Smiling, my knees softened. “Yep. Tomorrow morning.” That was my cue to leave, and I should have wanted to. My feet were like blocks of ice. But I wasn’t ready. “Hey, Nick?” I called after him. When he turned, the light caught his eye, and the blue shone so bright it was like looking up at the sky on a sunny day.
“Yeah?” He asked.
Oh, god, what was I going to say? My pulse quickened.
“Our garbage can is on the other side of the house.” I pointed.
“Figured.” He winked.
Oh, man, I needed to get inside before I said anything else stupid.
“Oh. Okay. Just wanted to make sure. You know, because…” Because what? Seriously, go inside.
“I can handle it, don’t worry.” Nick laughed. “Get inside before you lose a toe to frostbite.”
Giggling, I spun around. My feet were stinging by the time I got into the house. The warmth on my soles felt amazing. I blew out the breath I’d been holding. As painful as that was, I didn’t regret it. Honestly, I would’ve endured frostbite to stand outside with Nick a little longer.
“Remy? What took you so long?” Mom appeared in the doorway of the kitchen, hand on hip, eyebrows knit together.
“I ran into Nick outside, and we chatted for a few.”
As she was nodding, the phone rang. Mom was closest, so she snatched it up. “Hello?” A pause. Her forehead became a mess of squiggly lines. “Sure. Hang on.” Narrowing her eyes in a pensive expression, she said. “It’s Nick.”
My heart stopped. “I’ll take it in my room.”
“Didn’t you say you were just talking to him?” She asked suspiciously as I sidestepped around her.
“Uh…yeah. He probably wants to make sure I need a ride in the morning.” I glanced down at my feet. “Our convo got cut short. No shoes.”
“Oookay.” She didn’t appear convinced, but I wasn’t going to stand around and chat it out with her.
Nick had called me, and I was dying to know why. I tore up the stairs and into my room. With trembling hands, I picked up the phone.
“Okay, I’m on,” I said to my mom breathlessly. There was a click on the other end.
“Whoa. You sound like you ran a mile.”
“Nope. Just up the stairs.” I plunked down on the edge of my bed and took a deep breath. Man, I was out of shape.
Nick laughed. “Right. Well, I just called to make sure you still had all your toes.”
Staring down, I wiggled them. “Yep.”
“Then you must’ve gotten inside just in time.”
“A minute longer and I surely would’ve lost one,” I joked. See, why was this so much easier over the phone?
“It was pretty cold.”
It’s fall in NorCal. No way was it cold enough to get frostbite. But I liked this. Joking with him. So, I kept it going. “Freezing.”
“Good thing you got inside when you did then.”
“Good thing,” I repeated, lying back and staring up at the ceiling.
“Although, you could still walk without a toe. Now, two toes might be more difficult.”
I bit my lip. “Depending on which toes you lost, I guess.”
“What toes would be the worst to lose, you think? Your big toes?”
“Probably. I mean, you need those more than your pinky
toes, right?”
“Not sure.” A pause. “Probably.”
I giggled. “Too bad we didn’t know anyone with missing toes to ask, huh?”
“I’m actually pretty okay with not knowing anyone who’s missing toes.”
“Yeah, me too.” I laughed, and then I almost added in a quip about the Walking Dead. Luckily, I caught myself though.
“What’s the coldest place you’ve ever been?” Nick asked.
“I don’t know.” I shrugged. “Oregon, maybe.”
“Not much of a world traveler, huh?”
“No. I guess not. When we go on vacation it’s usually somewhere warm.”
“We went to Seattle once. It was pretty cold. And I have an Uncle who lives in Colorado. We visited him during winter break a few years ago.”
“My parents have taken me up to the snow a couple of times in Tahoe. I didn’t love it. Too cold.”
“A true California girl.” I could hear Nick’s smile through the phone.
“Yep. And proud of it.”
“I take it you’ve never snow skied?”
“No way. I’ve waterskied though.”
“I love waterskiing. Maybe we can go together this summer.”
“Really?” Summer? He was already thinking about hanging with me in the summer?
“Yeah. I mean, if we can find someone with a boat,” he said. “If not, we can always chill in my pool.”
Grinning, I envisioned Nick and I in the water together. I bet he looked hot without a shirt on. My pulse skittered beneath my flesh at the thought.
But wait.
Would I still be here this summer? Was I planning on staying in 1993 that long? Did I want to? And, more importantly, could I?
SEVEN
Not even halfway through the game, I could tell you one thing for sure: cheerleading was no joke. It made me feel bad for all the times Ava and I had made fun of it, saying that dancing around in short skirts didn’t qualify as a real sport. Let me set the record straight: It did.
It was brutal.
We never stopped moving.
Also, I never stopped messing up.
When I was supposed to go right, I went left, and vice-versa. Brooke kept throwing me dirty looks. Probably because I kept bumping into her. I still had no clue how I’d made it onto the cheer squad in the first place.