The Secrets We Keep

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by Ella Jade


  “Mama!” Zoey jumped with excitement. “He’s here! I told you he would come.”

  My heartbeat pounded hard when I gazed up to find Xavier coming toward us. He walked with confidence as the other mom’s in the park stopped what they were doing to get a glimpse of him. He was the type of man a person noticed. His light brown hair was styled neatly. Longer on the top and shorter on the sides. Yesterday, I noticed some gray in his temples. It gave him an air of sophistication. This afternoon he wore a black suit with a dark tie. His clothes fit to perfection. I wondered if someone took his measurements with a tape measure like I’d seen in movies. He probably had a personal shopper, personal chef, personal trainer… what is he doing in the park?

  “X!” Zoey ran toward him. “You’re here.”

  “Did you think I wouldn’t come?”

  When he grinned, I couldn’t help but smile too. He seemed genuinely happy to see her. The other moms continued to stare. I guess if I wasn’t the one he was here to see, I’d be staring too.

  “Mommy said you wouldn’t.”

  “Really?” He gazed into my eyes. “I’m a man of my word.”

  “You’re also a busy man.” I joined them. “I didn’t want Zoey to get her hopes up.”

  “Sit over there with Mommy.” Zoey pointed to the bench before running off. “I’m playing with Jaden.”

  “Stay where I can see you,” I reminded her even though there wasn’t anywhere for her to go. I always chose the section of the park that was gated. “She’s a bit bossy.”

  “She delegates.” He motioned for me to have a seat. “I like it.”

  I sat down, trying to push back the anxiety that wanted to take over. I didn’t know why but he threw me off. I’d been so focused on Zoey these past few years that I hadn’t paid much attention to myself. Not even through my divorce. I managed on auto pilot because that was the only way to guarantee I wouldn’t fall apart.

  “Did you really think I wouldn’t show?” He sat down next to me.

  “I wasn’t sure.” I placed my hands in my lap, trying not to fidget.

  Xavier Trapp didn’t seem like he ever lost his nerve. He was confident and in control. How else could he have gotten as far as he had in such a short time? I’d done a little research on him after our brief meeting yesterday. I couldn’t sleep last night, so I reached for my phone and Googled him. There wasn’t much about his personal life but there was plenty on his business dealings. A self-made millionaire by the time he was twenty-five. His determination and persistence had paid off because ten years later, he’d become one of the city’s hottest, most eligible billionaires. And, here he was, sitting on a park bench next to me.

  “Why are you here?” Was that a rude question? Intrusive? “I’m sorry. It’s a public park but…”

  “What am I doing here?”

  “Yeah.”

  “This project I’m working on is getting to me. Yesterday I needed some air. Today I wanted to see you.”

  “You did?”

  “I enjoyed meeting you and your daughter. I hope that doesn’t sound strange because I don’t mean for it to be awkward. It’s a nice break from my usual grind.”

  “It’s not awkward.” There was something about him that made me want to trust him. “I’m glad you came.”

  “Me too.” He gazed at Zoey. “She’s a great kid.”

  “She likes you too.” I think I like you too.

  “Her father, is he in the picture?”

  “He… um…” No one had ever asked me that. X was the first man who had shown any interest in me since the divorce. Not that I put myself out there or anything. It was too hard to trust anyone.

  “I don’t mean to pry. I didn’t see a wedding ring and I assumed.”

  “We’re not together and he hasn’t seen Zoey in a while.”

  “How come?”

  “It’s his choice. I’m not stopping him but he walked away from us. I haven’t heard from him in a few months.”

  “Child support?”

  “Ha!” I laughed but it wasn’t funny because I was starting to feel the effects of a one income family. I was no longer living according to my means. “I wish.”

  “Is there an order in place?”

  “Yes, but I don’t have the energy or the resources to fight him.” I’d realized fighting with my ex was taking up too much time and I wanted to focus on my daughter. We didn’t need him. “I figure we’re better off without him.”

  “I have a feeling you might be right.” He glanced at Zoey. “It’s his loss.”

  “She doesn’t even remember him. She stopped asking for him a long time ago.” I shook my head because Xavier was right. It was Josh’s loss. “I get that things didn’t work out between us but I never expected him to abandon her. Not after everything we went through to get her.”

  “Fertility?” he asked.

  “Oh, no.” Why was I discussing my failed marriage and Zoey’s deadbeat father with a total stranger? “We adopted Zoey.”

  There was something comforting in his demeanor. The intensity in his eyes dimmed when I spoke. Was I seeing what I wanted to see? Or, was there a possibility that he was interested in me? He was hard to read. Was he being cautious because of Zoey?

  “It was Josh, that’s my ex, and his mother. He was an only child and he’d recently lost his father. His mother thought it would be a good idea for us to expand our family. We married right out of college and it all happened so fast. We were probably too young to entertain having a family.” I waved at my beautiful daughter and she ran by with her friend. “I don’t regret any of it. Zoey is exactly where she’s supposed to be.”

  “Does Zoey know that she’s adopted?”

  “She knows she didn’t come from my belly but we don’t discuss it much. She’s kind of young.”

  “She’s a lucky little girl to have you for a mom.”

  “That’s kind of you to say.” I needed to hear it. “Lately, I’ve been feeling like a bit of a screw up.”

  “From where I’m sitting, it doesn’t look that way. She’s happy, smart, and loves you.”

  “You got all of that from two brief encounters?”

  “I’m extremely observant.”

  You’re extremely gorgeous. What was wrong with me? You’d think I’d never seen an attractive guy in a suit before. One who was educated and engaged in a conversation with me. That didn’t happen often.

  “Mama!” Zoey joined us, saving me from my awkward staring. “Are we going to The Fun Place now?”

  “Sure.” I glanced at my watch. “It is almost dinner time.”

  “The fun place?” X asked.

  “It’s a restaurant. Burgers, fries, milkshakes,” I said. “Screaming kids, loud music, and a play area. Not at all what I’d image your dinner experience to be like.”

  “There’s a first time for everything.” He smiled at Zoey. “I love chocolate milkshakes.”

  “Me too!” Zoey’s eyes widened. “Do you want to come with us?”

  “Zoey.” Meeting at the park was one thing but going to a loud, kid-infested restaurant? That would surely send him running in the opposite direction. Wouldn’t it?

  “I’d love to take you two ladies to dinner.” X looked at me. “I don’t want to intrude.”

  “You wouldn’t be.” I grabbed my bag from the bench. “I’d like the company. You’ll see what I mean when we get there. It’s a zoo.”

  “Then it’s settled.” He motioned toward the far end of the park. “My driver is parked over there. We could go together.”

  “Ah, well,” He was still a stranger even if it didn’t feel that way. I didn’t want to set a bad example for my daughter by getting into a car with someone we’d just met. Driver or not. “I have Zoey’s booster seat in my car, so it will probably be easier if we drove separately.”

  “X could come in our car!” Zoey exclaimed. “Mommy is my driver.”

  X smirked before answering. “How about I meet you? I have to make a cal
l but I’ll be there shortly.”

  “We’ll get a table for three.” I took Zoey’s hand. “See you soon.”

  “I’ll order you a chocolate shake,” Zoey said. “They’re so good.”

  “Thank you, Z.”

  When my daughter looked up and smiled at me, I couldn’t help but feel her excitement. I’d done my best these past few months to keep her routines as normal as possible but being a single parent and transitioning into a new job could be overwhelming. I hadn’t realized how much Zoey picked up on but seeing her with Xavier gave me a reality check.

  “I’ll walk you to your car,” X offered.

  Before I could tell him that wasn’t necessary, Zoey was in between us, holding each of our hands, swinging our arms back and forth.

  “Let’s go!” She hurried across the park. “I can’t wait to eat.”

  The grin on Xavier’s face as we walked to my car was almost as invigorating as the naturalness of this moment.

  5

  Kara

  “Xavier Trapp? The freakin’ billionaire?” Carla, my neighbor and best friend, scrolled through her phone. “How did that happen?”

  “We met him at the park.” I sipped my wine as we sat on the front porch, still not believing it myself. The brisk November air surrounded us but the warmth of the recently heated red wine hit the spot. It was a new blend Carla had purchased from the winery and they suggested she put it in a crockpot to warm it.

  Carla’s children were teenagers, so she didn’t have to worry about bedtime routines. A few nights a week, after I put Zoey to bed, she would come and sit on the porch with me. Since tonight was a weekend, we drank wine. Carla and her husband, Keith, had been a huge help to me since Josh left. Her kids were so good with Zoey.

  “He endured that germ pit of a restaurant on a Friday night? This is serious.”

  “He wanted to come to The Fun Place with us. I think he had a good time despite the stares and whispers.” Xavier stuck out like a sore thumb at dinner. Most dads did not look like him. He was dressed for dinner in the city not for a place with ball pits and rock climbing walls. “He sort of has this presence about him.”

  “Money and sex?” Carla shoved her phone in my face. “Have you seen these pictures of him? The man is hot. What was he doing at the park?”

  “Clearing his head. That was yesterday. Today he promised Zoey he’d meet us again.”

  “He promised Zoey?” She studied her phone, mesmerized by her search. “Was that his way of seeing you again?”

  “I don’t know.” Placing my glass on the porch by my feet, I wondered if Xavier could be interested in me. “He’s very polite.”

  “Polite? That’s not how these articles describe him. He’s ruthless, cunning, and an all-around bastard when it comes to business.”

  “I read a few things yesterday but there isn’t much personal stuff on him other than where he went to school and how many charities he donates to.”

  “Yes.” Carla bit her lip. “I might have to hit him up.”

  Carla’s husband was a doctor, so she was heavily involved in raising money for various charities at the hospital. She was always looking for the next big contributor. X would be her biggest score to date.

  “That’s assuming you’re going to meet him.”

  “Oh, if you don’t think I’m not going to vet the man who is interested in my friend and her daughter, you’re crazy.”

  “He’s not interested, just friendly.”

  Carla shot me a disbelieving look.

  “I don’t know what to think. I mean, I’ve never had to do the dating thing really. Josh and I were together for a long time. We got together right out of high school.”

  “Josh is an idiot and never deserved you.”

  “Regardless, and I do agree with you about Josh, I don’t have experience with men. I’m having a hard time believing this perfect man dropped out of the sky, ended up at the park, and wants to spend time with not only me but my kid too?”

  “It does seem a little too perfect.” She shrugged. “But you’re a beautiful, intelligent, and funny woman. You’re a great mom. Why wouldn’t he be interested?”

  “Because he doesn’t really know me.”

  “That’s where dating comes in handy. You get to know one another.”

  “I thought about dating again, I didn’t think I’d let anyone meet Zoey until I was sure. This didn’t happen the way I envisioned it.”

  “We can’t plan everything.”

  “I guess not.”

  “When are you seeing him again? Kendra and I can watch Zoey for you.” Kendra was Carla’s seventeen-year old daughter and my babysitter. “He’ll probably want to take you someplace other than the germ pit for dinner.”

  “He’s coming here tomorrow. Zoey invited him to movie night. He’s bringing adult takeout for the two of us and French fries and chicken fingers for her.”

  “Maybe Zoey could come to my house for a movie and you and Xavier could get to know one another a little better.”

  “As tempting as that sounds, I don’t think Zoey would go for it. She’s already so excited to see him again. And, besides, I don’t know if I’m ready to be alone with him.”

  “You just want to be friends with the attractive, intriguing billionaire?” She finished her wine. “You are rusty when it comes to the dating scene.”

  “I need to go slow.”

  After Josh, I had a few trust issues. Who could blame me? Finding your husband in bed with a twenty-year old girl could do that to a person.

  “It’s okay to be cautious but don’t let a good thing pass you over. You don’t have to get serious with the guy. Maybe you’re only meant to be friends. Who knows? Don’t shut yourself off to the possibilities. Go slow if that’s what you need to do.”

  “I don’t want to make any mistakes.”

  “That’s not realistic. We all make mistakes. No one is saying you have to settle down with the first billionaire that comes along.” She winked at me. “There could be another one right around the corner.”

  “Carla?”

  “I’m teasing. You deserve to have some fun. Maybe you’re just supposed to have crazy, wild sex with him.”

  “I can’t even think about sex.”

  “That’s because you haven’t had it in so long.” She gazed at the photo of X wearing a tuxedo. “Don’t you want to have it with him?”

  I glanced at the picture of my new friend before looking at Carla and giving her an enthusiastic thumbs up. A girl could dream.

  Xavier

  Sitting in John’s office, for an emergency Saturday session, I could tell by his expression he was not impressed with me. I didn’t pay him to be impressed. I paid him to listen.

  “You approached them?” he asked.

  “Zoey approached me.” I hadn’t expected her to seek me out. I thought I could keep my distance but once I saw her face I couldn’t turn away.

  “Because you were spying on them.”

  “I wanted to see my daughter.” I wasn’t spying. I was assessing the situation. “None of this seemed real to me. I needed proof that she existed.”

  “Your investigator provided you with proof.”

  “I had to see her. You know that’s how my mind works. I need facts before I’ll move forward.”

  “In business?” John took off his glasses.

  “In business, in life, what does it matter? I didn’t ask for any of this. If Lanie had told me the truth from the beginning we wouldn’t be in this situation.”

  “So, it’s Lanie’s fault?”

  “I didn’t say that.” I let out a frustrated breath because I wanted more than anything to blame her but I couldn’t allow myself to go there. “She’s not here to defend herself. I’ll never be able to…”

  “Cross examine her?”

  “Something like that.” For the life of me, I couldn’t figure out why Lanie wouldn’t have told me she was pregnant. We ended things but she knew I would never abandon m
y child. At least, she should have known that. “She should have told me. I should have had a say in the decision making process.”

  “What would you have said?”

  “Does it matter? I can’t undo what she did. I don’t want to. You should see Kara with Zoey. She’s a great mom. She’s trying so hard despite the circumstances she’s had to endure.”

  “Her ex-husband? Zoey’s father?”

  “I’m Zoey’s father,” I reminded him. “Josh Cartwright will be dealt with.”

  “What does that mean?”

  “He’ll be signing over his rights to Zoey.” My P.I. was digging into his past. “He doesn’t pay support. He hasn’t seen Zoey in two years. She doesn’t even know who he is. Once he’s removed from the scenario, things will be easier for me when I establish my parental rights.”

  “You’ve thought this through. You have a plan.”

  “Don’t I always?”

  “You were impulsive when it came to meeting Zoey and her mother. That’s out of character for you.”

  “Our initial meeting didn’t go as planned. I’ll admit that. I had to improvise.”

  “It wouldn’t have happened if you weren’t there.” He arched a brow at me. “And the second meeting? I’m guessing there was a second meeting.”

  “Last night, I went to dinner with them.”

  “I see.”

  “Zoey invited me. We went to some commercialized family restaurant that I had no idea existed. It was loud and the food was horrible but it was the most fun I’d had in years.” Watching her face light up when they brought out that chocolate shake with all the whipped cream and cherries on top was the highlight of my week. I wanted more of those moments.

 

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