by CC MacKenzie
For an unremitting moment, she didn't speak.
Then she shook her head. "I don't believe you."
"You don't want to believe me," he shot back.
"I don't trust your feelings. How can I?"
She was right and God, it destroyed him.
He took a shaky breath. Then a stubborn self-belief that had got him through the worst life had to throw at him rose again. "Okay. I deserve that. I'm just going to have to prove myself to you."
"Might take a while, like every day for the next thirty to forty years."
His mouth twitched. "You're a hard woman, Eve."
"Better believe it."
Another gust of wind slapped his cheek.
His groin ached so bad he nearly swore with the frustration of it.
He needed to get her inside to kiss her senseless and get her naked.
If there was one place they'd always managed to communicate it was the bedroom.
"It's freezing out here, let's go in."
Grabbing her hand, he tugged her towards the entrance of Ludlow Hall.
The way he was pulling her through the doors of the hotel didn't feel very lover like to Eve.
But he was right, it was freezing.
They stamped the snow off their boots. And she pulled the hat off her head as they entered the heat of the building. It smelled of Christmas. Well-heeled guests were milling around the wide reception desk of polished oak. A stupendous Christmas tree decorated in cream and gold took centre stage. But she didn't have much time to appreciate it since Matt was hauling her into the elevator. She sank back against the wall as he pressed the button to the top floor and dragged off his beanie.
Tension gripped his jaw and around his eyes.
He badly needed a haircut and a shave.
And now she saw the dark circles of exhaustion under his eyes.
Guilt gave her a sharp little poke.
After her sudden arrival and surprising news he probably hadn't slept much last night. She hadn't exactly been giving him an easy time, had she? The lift dinged as the doors opened. The way his hand pressed possessively into the small of her back to guide her to their suite had her nerves dance a little jig in her belly.
He slid a key card and opened the door.
The Ludlow Hall fairies had been in to clean the rooms. And she noticed that a small white china dish had appeared on the serving table containing his key and coins, the candy wrappers had vanished.
They toed off their wellingtons, shrugged off their coats.
Eve rolled her eyes when Matt threw his in the general direction of the couch.
It missed.
With a huff of breath, she picked up his coat and hung it with hers in a small closet then yelped when strong arms spun her round and backed her against the door.
"Put your arms around my neck."
His big body was pressed against hers and she shivered. Desire was a living breathing thing in his blue eyes. Another living part of him was pressed hard against her still flat tummy. She took a breath inhaling the scent of him deep into her lungs and she loved it. Her arms wound around his neck. She pressed her breasts into his strong chest as her eyes stayed on his.
"This is not a solution to our problems."
Blue eyes narrowed into hers as his teeth nipped her full bottom lip. "Maybe not." He sucked her lip into his mouth and she trembled in reaction as the liquid ache burning deep in her belly began to beat in time with her heart. "Maybe not, but it's a good place to start."
He pressed a gentle kiss to the corner of her mouth and then just as lightly to the other side. His hands were stroking her back then slid down to cup her bottom, pressing her close.
She went weak, closed her eyes. And heard his soft laugh, then wondered why it sounded victorious. It took every single particle of willpower to take a breath. "Matt..." Tiny whispering kisses ran down over her cheek, her chin, before returning to the corner of her mouth, driving her crazy with need. "You're killing me."
"No, darling. I'm making love to you." Again he nibbled on her willing mouth, then ignoring her sigh of irritation moved to the heat of her neck. "Hmm, you smell amazing and I want to taste that jerky little pulse just here." His teeth nipped her neck and she shuddered in his arms. "You have no idea what you do to me, Eve."
Actually, she was getting a pretty good idea if he was experiencing anything like the ache he was bringing to her.
"Stop." She slid her hands from his neck to press against his strong chest to push him away. It had as much effect as pushing a brick wall. So she gave up let her hands slide back up around his neck. "This is not a good idea."
Matt closed his eyes and prayed for patience as another flare of need roared through his overheated system. "Feels like a great idea to me. You want me, admit it." Now his hands slid up her back to her neck and his fingers combed through her hair to release her ponytail holding her head exactly where he wanted her.
Then his mouth tortured hers again.
"I want..." Eve struggled to remember where she was, who she was. "I want..."
His mouth smiled against hers before his tongue slipped silkily in to tease, to tempt, to entice. "You want?"
"You..." Why couldn't she finish a sentence? Why couldn't she think? Surely needs, this horrible ache, shouldn't hurt so much? He'd always been able to make her legs weak. The bastard. But this was more than weakness, this was powerlessness. Now the room spun. "No." And panic, razor sharp and tremendous broke through. "No. I can't do this. Don't you understand that I want you too much?"
"Good," he said.
Strong arms lifted her as his mouth found hers again.
Then she was laid on his bed and her heart was hammering so hard against her ribs she pressed her hands to the spot. Lying there all warm and cosy and terribly aroused she watched him.
He whipped the cashmere sweater over his dark head and tossed it. And her eyes couldn't help but admire the wide, wide shoulders, the sculpted chest, the black line of fine hair running down through his six pack. And then his hands were on the button of his jeans and she couldn't tear her eyes away as he slowly slid down the zip. The jeans and briefs went the way of his sweater.
Oh. My. God.
He was a big man in every possible way.
His thick and strong erection bobbed as his thigh muscles contracted.
And she knew exactly what he liked and how he liked it.
Her tongue licked her lips.
"Matt..."
The mattress dipped as he lay beside her.
With infinite care he trailed his hand under her sweater to rest against her belly. "Do you know how often I've dreamed of touching you again?"
She couldn't look away from his eyes as his hand slid up over her ribcage to gently cup her oversensitive breast and Eve arched into his hand. "No."
"I dream of you every single night. In my dreams I do this."
The pad of his thumb rubbed a too tight nipple and she gasped into his mouth as his lips took hers in a long, drugging kiss.
They broke apart to help her lose her top, her leggings and panties, until she was skin to skin, hip to hip with him.
Matt gripped her knee, pulled it over his waist opening her to him and Eve moaned as the steel of his erection pressed at the slick entrance to her sex.
"Hold me. Touch me," he demanded.
Her arms wound around his neck and her fingers ran through his hair, fingertips rubbing against his scalp just the way he liked it. And all the while his pelvis tipped back and forth bringing joy to the screaming bud of nerve ends between her legs. Oh God, he was so hard and she was so ready she was going to come. Her whole body was shaking. Just as her back bowed he slid his fingertip around her clitoris and as she flew apart his finger entered her.
Her body was so hot and wet and tight and gripped and released his finger again and again.
Telling himself to take care with her, Matt rolled her onto her back eyes studying her flushed cheeks, the full mouth swollen from h
is kisses and her breath coming too fast. He was going to take it nice and slow and easy.
"I'm going to love you now." His lips were at her ear and he couldn't resist taking a little nip of the soft velvety skin of her lobe. "Promise you'll tell me if it's too much."
When she didn't respond, just arched her back he bent to kiss her mouth.
"Promise me," he demanded.
"I promise."
He knelt between endless legs, his hands sliding down to grip her tight bare bottom to spread her wide. The tip of his shaft nudged the glorious slick rosebud of her entrance and he took a shuddering breath as he pushed in one inch. Her cry was not one of pain but one of a woman who wanted more, much more. Her back arched to take him deeper but he held her absolutely still and slid in another inch.
"Matt, don't torture me."
It was the plea in her voice that had his mouth grow greedy on hers as his body plunged. Everywhere he touched her, tasted her and sucked her, her body trembled. This was what they'd always brought to each other. Passion. Right from the very beginning flames of passion had ruled both of them burning, scorching through their system. And it didn't take long before his control was torn to shreds. She was moving fast under him, her hips pistoning against his. With each breath dragged into his lungs he could taste her, salty sex and sensational. The cry she gave as he thrust into her was a woman calling for her mate to give her more, to take her higher. Now with her arms thrown above her head, her body surrendered to the intense pleasure that only he could bring to his woman. Her hips met his thrust for thrust and Matt knew he couldn't hold back a moment longer. The searing heat slid down his back to the base of his spine, speared into his balls and he cried her name out loud as she peaked and he flew over the edge with her.
Chapter Thirteen
He was murmuring words, promises of love, praise for her courage to have let him love her.
Pleasure was warm and soft and wrapped around them like a blanket.
His mouth was pressed to the racing pulse under her ear and Matt knew he'd never loved a woman like this before. Something fundamental had changed. Wouldn't ever be the same again. And he realised that it was the first time he'd been truly in love with a lover. And that fundamental difference was everything.
Whisky eyes shining, skin flushed, Eve stared up at him.
"What was that?"
The back of his fingers stroked her hot cheek as his heart threatened to soar right out of his chest.
"That was me giving you my heart. Will you accept it into your care?"
On a strangled sob, she threw her arms around him, buried her face in his neck. And Matt held her tight.
"I don't know how I feel except terrified."
She was trembling and Matt realised that what the woman he held in his arms needed more than anything was unconditional love and affection. He had it. All he needed to do was to convince her to trust him enough to take it.
He rested his cheek against hers.
"You know the thing I love most about you?" he said.
She shook her head.
"Your mouth. I could feast on it for months."
"That's funny. I feel exactly the same way about yours."
"There you go. A marriage made in heaven."
His heartbeat skipped.
Had he just said marriage out loud?
Lifting his head his eyes met hers.
By the size of those golden eyes and the dropped jaw, he had indeed.
The thing that struck him was the rightness of it all. He wanted to marry Eve. He wanted to be a good father to their child.
She shook her head.
"You're not husband material."
The absolute certainty in her tone made him frown.
"Look," he said, swallowing irritation. "I've never been a dog with women. I like women. Ask anyone who knows me. I never cheat."
"No. But you're a movie star and women throw themselves at you."
Now his eyes went wide. "Well, hell, just shoot me. Look in the mirror, babe. You're gorgeous, I'll be fighting them off."
Now it was her turn to look offended.
"I don't do infidelity."
"There you go. We're made for each other."
"A marriage is about more than just sex."
"True. So do you want to agree to some basic ground rules? Might as well start as we mean to go on."
"Rules?"
He waggled his eyebrows.
"Yeah, like I'll take out the trash if you do diaper duty."
"Diaper duty should be shared," she said, shooting that bright idea down in flames.
An exaggerated sigh escaped from his lungs. "I was afraid of that."
She sent him a bland look that tickled him. "And so is burping and teething duty."
"I suppose I can do feeding duty, too."
"Not in the beginning. I plan to breast feed."
He scratched his chin, gave her big eyes.
Then his eyes dropped to her breast.
He licked his lips.
"Do you? Can I watch?"
She poked him in the shoulder.
"You're not taking this seriously. Anyway, there's plenty to get through before that. Like the delivery."
He felt the blood drain from his face.
The thought of her giving birth, the pain, the risks for her and the baby made the room tilt.
"I'd like you to be there," she said, her voice no more than a whisper.
Silence.
"I'm not good with pain," he admitted, eventually.
"Don't worry," she said and gave him another look that tickled him. "You won't feel a thing."
"Seriously. Do you want to know what terrifies me the most?"
Her fingertips stroked his cheek, scratched his beard. "No. What?"
"You'll laugh at me."
Whisky coloured eyes danced into his. "No I won't."
"That I drop the baby."
Stunned, she stared at him as her bottom lip quivered and then her brow creased.
"See?" he said looking offended. "I knew you'd find it funny."
"I don't find it funny. I find it terribly sweet."
He moved to kiss her when his eye caught the digital clock on the bedside table.
His eyes went wide.
"Shit!"
Matt leapt from the bed.
Eve sat pulling the sheet across her breasts and shoved back her hair.
"What's the matter?"
"We have exactly thirty minutes to get ready."
Baffled she simply stared at him. "For what?"
"For dinner with the Ferranti's. He'll kill me if we're late," he said over his shoulder as he raced for the bathroom.
She'd completely forgotten their dinner date.
Eve heard the shower running.
Biting down on her bottom lip she slid out of bed, strolled through the door to watch a gorgeous naked man scrub himself. Her mouth twitched. Perhaps it would save time if they shared the water?
Chapter Fourteen
Eve changed twice before she got a grip of herself.
A dinner with his close friends was not a big deal. Matt had said to dress casual.
She huffed out a breath. Of course it was a big deal. She was meeting his best friends for the first time. Now she bit her lip, maybe she should have bought that lovely little black number in the hotel boutique?
Annoyed now she wondered what she was stressing about?
So she tugged on her suede boots over black skinny jeans.
Hadn't Matt the clueless said jeans were fine?
She slid a gorgeous top of black and gold silk over her head. It fell just below her hips.
Off duty she rarely wore make-up so she dusted on a sheer coat of mineral face powder, a little smoky eye shadow, mascara and lip gloss and that was it.
When she entered the sitting room he stood there in a black long sleeved thermal that hugged his chest like a lover, ancient jeans and battered boots. He still hadn't shaved and with the too long hai
r he looked all rough and ready. And Eve thought he was the most superb male animal she'd ever seen and the want deep in her belly was so much more than mindless lust.
It was love.
He held out his hand and she placed hers in his.
"You look stunning," he told her.
Sitting comfortably and toasty in Matt's Range Rover on the way to The Dower House, Eve found herself considering her options.
In the afterglow of their lovemaking there was that familiar ease between them that reminded her of the good times with Matt. But nothing had changed between them, not really.
Keeping her baby, being a single mother, risked career suicide but it couldn't be helped.
Thinking too far ahead wasn't something she indulged in on a regular basis. Eve preferred to live in the moment. Although she'd had the odd panic attack when she'd tried to visualise what lay ahead for her and her baby, their immediate future was secure. She had savings and investments to be able to take care of her child until it went to school. The future after that might be a little hazy it was true but not once did she regret the decision to keep her baby.
On a bad day she'd worried about making ends meet in the long term. On good days Eve told herself that she had a good brain and it was time she used it to finally settle down and write her books.
Until yesterday, her grand plan had been to confront him and then put Mathias Carter right out of her mind. Why oh why had she fallen in love with an actor? After everything she and her mother had gone through she should have learned the hard lesson that actors were simply not reliable. They'd been let down very badly by a man who'd been at the very top of his profession on stage and screen. He still was.
Now she glanced at Matt who was focused on his driving and Eve tried hard not to compare him to her father. She knew it wasn't fair to liken Matt's behaviour to her father's but she just couldn't seem to help it. She couldn't forget that Matt had walked away and refused her attempts to reach him either.
He'd apologised and now he wanted more, much more.
Maybe too much?
But Matt's behaviour had brought back too many bitter memories and Eve was finding it hard to get past them. The scars of rejection and of old hurts burned too brightly in her psyche. She might be able to forgive Matt, but would she ever be able to forget? Somehow she doubted it, because she'd never been able to forgive her father for the way he'd abandoned her or been able to forget sitting on the front porch-step waiting for him to come and collect her.