the Roommate Mistake

by Elizabeth Stevens

  I snorted from behind my book.

  “What?” Alex asked. “You too cool for car racing?”

  “Hardly. I like how you assume I’m ignorant of both those things. I also like how you’re keeping male stereotypes alive and well.”

  “What can I say?” Zac said. “Cars are awesome.”

  I nodded. “They are.”

  “Why is she so cool?” Zac asked the room at large.

  Birdman smiled at me. “She is awesome.”

  “Why do you hide yourself away?” Fret lamented.

  “I’m not hiding,” I told them. “I just don’t throw myself at any old person who comes along.”

  “You either think very little of us, or you,” Luke noted.

  “Porque no los dos,” Alex suggested.

  “Did you have to say that,” I laughed. “Seriously. All I want is tacos.”

  “Every time, right?” Zac said, pointing at me.

  I nodded. “Yes. Every time.”

  The ad had become part of pop culture. I’d never seen it air, but I’d seen it on YouTube.

  “Well, we’re shit outta luck on tacos,” Alex said.

  “Why do you think we never get tacos for dinner?” Fret asked.

  Alex shrugged. “Probably too fiddly.”

  “I’d have thought pizza was too fiddly,” Birdman said.

  “Shh!” Zac hissed harshly. “Don’t jinx it!”

  “You haven’t had enough pizza to sort you for a lifetime?” I asked.

  Zac shook his head. “Never. Pizza is life.”

  I nodded. “Fair enough.”

  “You know,” Fret said. “Having a girl,” he left an ample pause, “friend has its advantages.”

  “Yeah?” I asked. “What is that exactly?”

  “Well, we’ve got like a direct line into the female psyche.”

  “You went with Psychology this year, eh, mate?” Alex asked him.

  “I did.” Fret seemed quite pleased with himself. “But my point stands. Lottie here can help us understand the ways of the female heart.”

  “And exactly what female heart are you interested in?” Birdman asked him.

  Fret shrugged. “None. Yet. But Lottie can make them all less scary.”

  I couldn’t keep my amusement in anymore. I busted out into laughter.

  “What?” Fret asked.

  I shook my head. “No. I mean. The theory is sound.”

  “But?”

  “But you’re forgetting one very important detail.”

  “Which is?” Birdman asked.

  “Which is I have no idea how other humans operate.”

  “But you’re a girl.”

  I nodded. “I am.”

  “So, you at least know what girls don’t like.”

  I shrugged. “I know what I don’t like.”

  Alex leant towards me. “Tell me more about–” he started.

  But Birdman interrupted. “Well, surely whatever you don’t like will cover everything someone else might not like.”

  I smiled at him. “Is that some kind of commentary on my personality, Henry?”

  He grinned. “Just an observation.”

  “Oh, yeah? Of what?” I wondered if he’d actually say it.

  “Of the fact you seem to dislike a lot of stuff. So, everything you dislike… Probably covers the spectrum of stuff anyone else might not like.”

  “So, I’m like the repository of what girls won’t like?”

  Birdman shrugged with a wry smile. “If the shoe fits.”

  I couldn’t help but find the positive spin on an otherwise negative personality trait both amusing and somewhat flattering.

  I hung out with the boys, playing games on the console and chatting and eating junk, until about ten when, as one, the four of them started stretching and standing up.

  “Has this got to do with Alex’s absurd bedtime?” I asked.

  Birdman smirked. “Grampa needs his beauty sleep.”

  “Hey,” Alex said. “I wasn’t born this good looking, you know.”

  He and Birdman exchanged a joking smile.

  “Yeah, I know,” Birdman said, nodding.

  “Oh, you know?” Alex asked and Birdman nodded again. “Yeah. I’ll give you good looking.”

  The two of them scuffled around the room while the others said good night.

  I almost told them they could stay because I’d be up for another couple of hours at least. But something held me back. Whether it was my introvert tendencies, a worry that they wouldn’t want to hang out with just me, or something else, I didn’t know.

  Finally, they were all gone, Alex was in bed and I was sitting in the window seat, looking out over the moonlit grounds of Acacia.

  Weirdly, I hadn’t felt like the odd man out. I felt like I’d found a place I could – maybe, if I bothered – belong. Alex’s friends were easy to get along with. They didn’t care if I came across as what other people warned me could sound acerbic. They didn’t mind that I said whatever came into my head. They didn’t care I didn’t mind my manners quite as well as I could have. They didn’t care I professed my preference for solitude.

  They just legitimately seemed to like me for me.

  Chapter Nine

  I’d almost forgotten about meeting Jake and his promise to message me. That was until I received an Acacia App notification of a new message from one Jacob Harman.

  Jacob Harman

  Hey Lottie, I found you! How’s things? Jake.

  Before I replied, I clicked on his profile and saw he was in the year ahead of us, a member of the First Thirteen of the rugby team, and a prefect. On paper, the guy looked good. In real life, the guy looked pretty good, too. What was the harm in seeing where things were going to go?

  Elliott Hopkins

  You did! My things are fine. How are your things?

  I wasn’t expecting a reply straight away, but I did sit staring at my screen for a while just in case.

  “Are you trying to read two books at once?” Alex asked from his place on the couch.

  “Why do you say that?” I asked from the window seat.

  “Just, you were staring at a paperback and now you’re staring at your phone, which I assume is an eBook.” He was focussing on his game so I had no idea how he knew what I was up to.

  Not wanting to admit I was messaging a boy for some reason, I just said, “It doesn’t hurt to try.”

  Alex smirked. “Of course it doesn’t. You nerd.”

  No one but my mum had ever called me a nerd with such – dare I say it – fondness. Like it was a good thing. Even Flick, Leah and Marsh had always said it with a bit of a sour tinge to it. As though they accepted it, but wished I wasn’t quite so much.

  I was distracted from my wondering thoughts by my phone buzzing.

  Another Acacia App message notification.

  Jacob Harman

  Things are good. What are you up to this weekend?

  Elliott Hopkins

  Just being. You?

  Jacob Harman

  Same. Although got our first pre-season practice tomorrow. Not looking forward to that!

  I wasn’t quite sure what to say to that. As I already established, I was bad at small-talk. It made some sense to me that the top teams would start practice before the season actually started. Maybe it was all the fiction I consumed, but that seemed to be a thing people did when they thought they were quite good at what they did.

  First Thirteen sounded weird to me, though. Why did they call the top team the ‘First…’? I mean I guess it was because they were the Firsts team. My cousin’s school just called those the ‘A’ teams.

  “Do you know what?” Alex mused suddenly.

  “What?” I replied, still wondering what I should reply to Jake.

  “I should have played cricket.”

  “Yeah? Why is that?” was a weird question for me to ask because I didn’t often ca
re about other people’s motivations or random thoughts.

  Alex dropped the console controller into his lap and stared ahead. “Being in the First Eleven sounds way cooler than being on the swim team.”

  It was like he could read my mind or something.

  “I guess. But are you any good at cricket?”

  He looked at me with a smirk. “Terrible. Worse than terrible. Abysmal.”

  “I’m impressed you know such a big word.”

  “Terrible’s not that big a word,” he teased and I couldn’t help smiling at him.

  “Then you wouldn’t have made it to the First Eleven, would you? What’s better? Trying and constantly failing to get on the First Eleven or being the god of the swim team?”

  He chuckled as he restarted his game. “You make a good point.”

  “Of course I do,” I said as I picked my book back up.

  “So…you think I’m a god?” he asked wryly.

  “I think the swim team and the rest of the school think you’re a god. Probably Percy Jackson’s brother or something.”

  “Hey, I understood that reference.” He just sounded so proud of himself.

  “And I understood that reference,” I said and we shared a smile.

  “You got a thing for America’s arse, do you?” He was grinning widely.

  “Who doesn’t?” I replied. “It’s a very nice arse.”

  “So, you’re an arse girl. Good to know.”

  I snorted. “Depends on the arse.”

  “How can it depend on the arse? That makes no sense.”

  “It does. Some guys, you can judge them on their arses. Some you can’t.”

  “What else do you judge them on?”

  “Well…” I thought about it. “If he’s got a really good personality, it doesn’t matter what his arse looks like.”

  Alex faked-gasped. “You mean there are personalities you don’t hate?” he asked sarcastically, but he was smiling to show no harm intended.

  I didn’t take any. I smirked. “There are.”

  “Name one person in this school you don’t dislike.”

  I could have been teasing. I could have been rude. I could have been a great number of things. Instead, I told him the truth for some unfathomable reason.

  “You.”

  This time, when his controller dropped into his lap, he was so surprised he didn’t pause the game. “Really?”

  I smiled at him and it felt soft and sincere. “Really. I don’t not like you.”

  His eyebrows scrunched while he tried to work out the double negatives. Finally, he beamed. “You like me!”

  “I didn’t say that. I said I didn’t not like you. There’s a difference.”

  Once again, Alex’s optimism wouldn’t be deterred. “You like me,” he said cheekily as he went back to his game.

  I made a good show of going back to my book. “I didn’t say that.”

  “Yeah, but you do.”

  Both smiling, we went back to our activities.

  “Oh, hey, man,” I heard Alex say after a little while. “Wanna hang?”

  “Actually, I’m here for Lottie.”

  I looked up from my book and saw everyone in the room was on pause. Everyone being Alex, me and Birdman, who hovered just inside our dorm door.

  Had I not known better, I’d have said that Alex looked panicked. Like he thought Birdman was about to ask me out and would really rather he didn’t. But I did know better – Alex wouldn’t care about that – so, at most, that was just surprise on Alex Landry’s face and I knew just how well he liked to be surprised.

  My first thought was that Birdman was about to ask me out as well. The premise was unbelievable but, once surmised, made the most sense. Why else would he want to talk to me? I wasn’t the approachable kind. Which again had me circling back to no one would want to ask me out.

  “Hey,” Birdman said, giving me a nod. “Can, uh… Can we talk?”

  I could do nothing else but nod. “Uh, sure. Come on in.”

  He took a few hurried steps forward, then shot a look at Alex.

  Alex held his hands up and stood up. “All right. Fine. I know when I’m not wanted.” He turned on his heel and stalked into his room, closing his door loudly enough to make a point but so as to not quite be a slam.

  Birdman took another few steps towards me, then paused and started wringing his hands.

  “Dude, relax,” I told him, trying to lighten the mood that had overtaken the room.

  He huffed a rough chuckle and ran his hand through his dark blond hair.

  “Take a seat and tell me what you want to talk about,” I said, patting the cushion next to me.

  He nodded, surged forward, and folded his lanky frame onto the window seat beside me. “Okay, so…I…” He let out a breath and looked at me like he wanted me to tell him what was up.

  “Can’t help you if you don’t give me words,” I said, shrugging apologetically.

  He gave a self-deprecating smile. “No. Right. Of course.” Still nothing.

  “If you’re here to profess your undying love, then I’m going to have to let you down easy…” I warned him, not knowing how else to cut to the chase.

  He laughed. A lighter chuckle like I’d actually successfully managed to lighten the mood. “No. God, no. I mean, not that… Huh. Not for you anyway. Not that you’re not lovely, it’s just…”

  “All good, Henry. You do not need to justify not having a thing for me. We are all good on that front.”

  He gave me a nod. “Great. I… So, I’m not normally… You know us, we’re…”

  “Usually a lot better at finishing your sentences?” I offered.

  Birdman grinned. “Something like that.” He breathed out heavily. “I was thinking about last week.”

  I frowned, not remembering what he could be referring to. “What about last week?”

  “When Fret mentioned that you know about girls.”

  “If you’ll remember, I also said I’m not as useful as you might think.”

  He smiled softly. “Yeah. But I’m still convinced you understand more than you think. I also value your opinion.”

  “You do?”

  He nodded. “Of course. If any girl’s like you, I think that’s a good thing.”

  Well, it was difficult not to feel flattered. It was also difficult not to appreciate to him as a person, not when he seemed to appreciate me as a person.

  “Naw, are we bonding?” I teased him, nudging him gently.

  He laughed. “I think we might be.”

  I looked up at the ceiling and tried not to just smile like a goofy idiot. “Tell me about this girl then.”

  “She’s on the girl’s basketball team,” he said.

  I nodded. “Of course she is.”

  “She’s so good, Lottie. And she’s tall and gorgeous. And her smile! Damn, her smile.”

  His wonderment was making me feel a bit giddy myself.

  “So, what do you need from me?”

  He shrugged as he looked down. “I dunno. I guess I… Well, I have no idea how to talk to her.”

  “You are aware she’s just a person, right?”

  He looked at me and laughed. “Yeah, Lottie. I worked that out.”

  “She’s not the Queen or some goddess, whatever the brain between your legs is telling you.”

  He snorted. “Pleasing image.”

  “Just be yourself and… Who’s a girl you can talk to?”

  He looked at me like I was supposed to know the answer.

  “Right,” I said with a nod. “Me. I’m a girl.”

  “Yes, you are,” he chuckled.

  “Right. Well, just pretend you’re talking to me. Say hi. Ask her… I don’t know. Ask her how her season’s going or something?”

  “Pretend I’m talking to you?”

  I nodded. “Yeah. And, if that fails, just smile awkwardly and run in the opposite directio
n while trying to remember how to construct sentences.”

  “That’s your girl advice?”

  I shrugged and grinned. “That is literally what I’d do.”

  We sat in contemplative silence for a moment.

  “Right,” Birdman said finally. “Well, now I’ve got that off my chest, I’ll leave you to your book.”

  He stood up and I felt like I was craning to look up at him.

  “I assume it goes without saying that this was in confidence?” I checked.

  He gave me a smile. “I won’t make you swear any binding oaths or anything, but I’d appreciate it if you didn’t mention it to the guys.”

  “You embarrassed you like a girl and worried she won’t like you back?” I teased.

  He was still smiling. “Just don’t need their jokes before I really know what I’m thinking, I guess. Wait until I’ve decided I’m really into her before subjecting myself to all that.”

  I nodded. “Fair.”

  He started off towards the door.

  “Henry?” I said.

  He turned back. “Yeah?”

  “I’m… If you want to talk about it more…”

  He gave me a cheeky grin. “You’ll risk social interaction for my emotional wellbeing?” he finished for me.

  I nodded. “Something like that.”

  He tapped the couch before starting off for the door again. “Thanks, Lottie. I’ll see you later?”

  “Will do.”

  A few minutes later, Alex poked his head out of his door, presumably to see if the coast was clear.

  “So, you’ll be friends with my friends, but not with me?” Alex teased as he emerged from his room again.

  I grinned at him. “Anything to annoy you.”

  The smile he gave me in return looked very much against his will but would not, apparently, be fought.

  “You’ll deny it to your death bed, won’t you?” he asked, still smiling.

  “Oh, far longer than that.” My tone clearly telling him I was being a dick for the sake of it. “You’ll find me in the afterlife still denying we’re friends.”

  “I’m like Jesus.”

  I snorted. “How?”

  “You denying me.”

  “That would make me Peter. That seems a bit shit.”

  “How do you…? No. You know what, I’m not surprised you know that at all. If you don’t want to be Peter, you know what you’ve gotta do?”