My Life as a Rhombus

by Varian Johnson

  “Sorry. I didn’t get the joke.”

  This was our first attempt at having a real conversation since the break-up, and we were failing miserably at it. It used to be we could talk about anything. Now, I could have had a more engaging conversation with a pet rock.

  “There you guys are.”

  I turned once I heard Gail’s voice. She looked like a throwback to the movie stars of the sixties in her cream and gold, off-the-shoulder prom dress. Xavier looked like … Xavier, only with a better haircut. At least he smelled nice.

  Gail floated over to me. “Sarah didn’t have Helen’s phone number so she asked me to get ahold of you.” She turned to David. “Is she having the baby?”

  “I don’t know,” David said. “The doctor will talk to us in the waiting room in a few minutes. We were headed over there now.”

  Xavier nodded. “That’s where we just came from. I think your mother is in there.”

  David rushed toward the waiting room, with the rest of us in tow. We entered to see his mother sitting on a couch, reading a magazine. She looked just as menacing as she did the last time I saw her, in her office.

  We waited by the doorway as he ran over to his mother. “Mom, what happened?”

  “I’m not sure,” she said. “I got home to see a note on the table saying that she was coming to the hospital.” Ms. Gamble glanced back at her magazine and flipped the page. “It’s probably nothing. You know how your sister likes to overreact to things.”

  David shook his head and waved his arms around. “You call this overreacting? She’s at the hospital.”

  Ms. Gamble didn’t seem swayed by David’s theatrics. “It’s probably just Braxton Hicks contractions. I had the same thing when I was pregnant with both you and Sarah.”

  Even from across the room, I could tell David was nearing his breaking point. He began popping his knuckles and pacing in front of his mother.

  Ms. Gamble didn’t look up from her magazine. “You’re not helping matters.”

  David stopped. “Can you at least pretend to be concerned?”

  I went to David and softly placed my hand on his arm. “I’m sure the doctor will be here in a few minutes to tell us exactly what’s going on.” I slipped my fingers around his. “Sarah’s alright. She’s one tough little chick.”

  “Hello, Rhonda,” Ms. Gamble said, her words sharp and pointed. “Did you get a full scholarship to Georgia Tech?”

  “No, only a partial,” I mumbled.

  “Hmm,” she said, a small smirk on her face. “That’s too bad.”

  I gritted my teeth and squeezed David’s hand.

  David cleared his throat. “Did you call Dad?”

  “Of course not,” Ms. Gamble said. “Why would I do that?”

  “Sarah would want him to know,” he said.

  Ms. Gamble’s gaze darted from David to me, and then back to her son. “Since when did you start caring about your father?”

  David shrugged. “This isn’t about me. This is about Sarah.”

  Ms. Gamble finally closed the magazine. “I don’t know why you’re getting so worked up over this.” She stood up and fished a pack of cigarettes and a lighter out of her purse. “She wouldn’t even be in this situation if she hadn’t acted like a tramp and slept around.”

  David’s knees buckled. “Mom … ”

  “I’m just telling the truth.” She pointed her finger at David. “I don’t know why you keep standing up for her. She slept around and now she’s got to pay the price.” She shook head. “Look, she’s even got me smoking again.”

  Ms. Gamble was talking loudly enough for everyone in the room to hear her. Gail and Xavier had stuck their faces in a book, but I knew they were listening.

  David’s hand felt like dead weight around my fingers, but I didn’t let go. “Mom, don’t say stuff like that.”

  “Honey, don’t waste your sympathy on her,” Ms. Gamble said. “Sarah is just like her father—she only thinks of herself. And if it takes having an illegitimate child for her to learn from her mistakes, then so be it.”

  Luckily, before Ms. Gamble could say anything else, a doctor entered the room and walked up to David. “I’m Dr. Williams. Are you part of the Gamble family?”

  David nodded, and everyone (well, everyone except Ms. Gamble) crowded around the doctor.

  “Sarah went into what we call preterm labor,” he said. “But we were able to stop the contractions.”

  “Is she okay?” David asked.

  Dr. Williams nodded. “She’ll be fine. What we plan to do is put her on limited bed rest and give her medicine to help stave off labor. We’d like her to carry the baby full term, and we think she can do it.”

  Gail poked Dr. Williams on the arm. “Can we see her?”

  “Are you a family member?” he responded.

  Gail meekly shook her head.

  “I’m sorry, but I can’t allow it. Only family is allowed to see patients at this hour.”

  Ms. Gamble rose from her seat. “When will my daughter be able to go home?”

  “Monday morning,” he said. “Would you like me to show you to her room?”

  She shook her head. “I need to take a smoke break first. Why don’t you show David to the room? I’ll be there momentarily.” Ms. Gamble gave me one final hard glare, and then left the room.

  “I guess I’d better go see Sarah,” David said. “I wish y’all could come with me.”

  “It’s okay,” I said. “Just tell her that we said hello and we’ll see her tomorrow.” I finally let go of David’s hand, and he trudged out of the room behind the doctor.

  Gail sighed. “I would have felt better if I could have seen her, but at least she’s okay.” She glanced at a wall clock. “Maybe we can still make it to the prom.”

  “How can you think about prom at a time like this?” Xavier asked.

  She shrugged. “Do you know how much this dress cost?”

  Gail and Xavier continued their banter, but I tuned them out. David and Dr. Williams had only traveled a few feet before David stopped walking. David leaned close to the doctor and whispered something. The doctor stepped back, glanced at his watch, and quickly nodded. David smiled and ran back to the room.

  “Come on,” he said, grabbing my hand. “I can get you in to see Sarah, but only for a few minutes.”

  “But how—”

  “I informed him that my father’s company donated almost a quarter of a million dollars to research hospitals,” he said, yanking me behind him. “Now come on. Mom will be back up here pretty soon.”

  “I’ll be back in a second,” I yelled to Gail and Xavier as David pulled me down the hallway to where Dr. Williams was standing.

  “She can only visit for a few minutes,” Dr. Williams said. “Now as I was saying before, I think your father would be most interested in hearing about some equipment we need—”

  “I’ll talk to him about it,” David said, waving off the doctor. “Who do I talk to about picking up Sarah’s car?”

  Dr. Williams frowned. “Her car? To my knowledge, your sister didn’t drive herself to the hospital.”

  “Of course she did,” David said. “I didn’t drive her and neither did my mother. Did she call an ambulance or something?”

  “No, I think her boyfriend brought her in.”

  Both David and I froze. “Her boyfriend?” we asked in unison.

  “At least I thought it was her boyfriend,” Dr. Williams said. “He was carrying on as if he was the father of the child. I only assumed—”

  “What room?” David asked, through clenched teeth.

  “Room 612, at the end of the hall.”

  David stormed down the hallway. Unfortunately, his hand was still attached to mine, so I was dragged off behind him. I coul
d almost see the steam rising from David’s head. I was glad we were at a hospital, because I was afraid whoever was in that room with Sarah would need serious medical attention after David got to him.

  David flung open the door and barged into Sarah’s room. “Where the fuck is he?!”

  I peeked around David so I could get a better look at Sarah. Her bangs were plastered to her forehead and an IV was hooked into her arm, but otherwise she looked okay. Thankfully, she was the only person in the room.

  “I sent him home,” she said. “I didn’t want you to meet him like this.”

  I circled David and went to Sarah’s bed. “You okay?”

  She nodded. “It’s nothing a little nap can’t fix.”

  David stormed toward us. “Sarah, are you going to tell me who he is or not?”

  I stepped in front of him. “David, calm down. Your sister is in the hospital, for goodness sake.”

  A flicker of his usual kind self shone through the anger seething from his eyes. “But—”

  “Your sister needs you,” I whispered.

  David shook his head. “But he … he—”

  “David, please,” I said.

  He sighed. “I’m sorry.” He took Sarah’s hand. “How do you feel? Do you need anything?”

  Sarah smiled, and for a brief moment, everything was good in the universe. “I’m okay.”

  There was a slight rap on the door. I looked up to see Dr. Williams. “Time’s up,” he said.

  I leaned over and smoothened her hair. “Gail and Xavier said to hurry up and get well. We’ll come by and see you tomorrow.”

  Just as I was heading out the door, David grabbed my hand. He looked at me with those powerful hazel eyes of his, and I felt myself turning into putty.

  “Can you stick around for a few minutes?”

  I frowned and looked at my watch. “It’s getting late.”

  “Please.”

  I reluctantly nodded. “I’ll be in the waiting room.”

  David released my hand, and I left the room. I made my way back to the waiting room, where Gail and Xavier were still arguing. However, they stopped once they saw me enter the room.

  “How is she?” Gail asked.

  “She’s going to be okay,” I said. “She’s a little tired, but that’s about it.”

  Xavier pushed Gail out of the way. “How does she look?”

  I rolled my eyes. “Still beautiful.”

  Xavier gave off a sigh of relief and turned to Gail. “Now we can go to the prom.”

  Gail nodded. “Go get the car. I’ll meet you out front in a few minutes.”

  As soon as Xavier left, Gail turned to me and planted her hands on her hips. “What the hell is wrong with you?”

  “What?”

  “Why did you break up with David? Any idiot can see you still care for him.”

  “You were the one that said I shouldn’t see him in the first place.”

  “I was wrong,” Gail said. “Get your boyfriend back, before it’s too late.”

  I watched Gail saunter out of the room. She didn’t realize it, but it was already too late. Some things just weren’t meant to be—no matter how much you wanted them.

  A few minutes after Gail left, David entered the waiting room. “I’m glad you stuck around,” he said. “You want to get a cup of coffee or something?”

  I frowned and stuck out my tongue. “How about hot chocolate?”

  David nodded, and we headed toward the cafeteria. David ordered coffee, without cream or sugar, and I ordered hot chocolate. He began to pay for both of our drinks, but I stopped him. “I can pay for mine.”

  David ignored me and handed the cashier a twenty-dollar bill. “I don’t mind.” He flashed me a smile. “It’s not like I’m buying you a diamond ring. It’s just a cup of hot chocolate.”

  We took our drinks and walked to a table in the far corner of the room. Instead of looking at David, I focused on the miniature marshmallows bobbing up and down in my cup.

  “Why did you want me to stay?” I finally asked.

  “Back in the waiting room, when Mom and I were arguing, you held my hand.” David took a sip of his coffee, and sat it back down on the table. “It felt nice.”

  I disregarded the steam rising from my hot chocolate and poured some into my mouth. It burned my tongue, but I forced it down anyway.

  “I like you a lot, Rhonda.” He reached across the table and took my hand. “To be honest, I think I—”

  “Don’t say it,” I warned him, my voice unsteady. “You don’t even know me.”

  “But it’s true.” David intertwined his fingers with mine. “Are you going to sit here and tell me you don’t feel the same way?”

  I wanted to move my hand from under his, but my arm wouldn’t cooperate.

  “Why did you break up with me?” he continued. “What did I do that was so wrong?”

  “You didn’t do anything.”

  “I had to have done something. Everything was going great, and then all of a sudden, things got weird.” He paused to take another drink of coffee. “Just tell me the truth. On that night at my house, I went too far, didn’t I?”

  I pulled my hand from his. “Will you stop saying that? How many times do I have to tell you, it wasn’t because of that.”

  “Then tell me why. What the hell could I have done to make you break up with me? I thought things were going well. I thought you liked me. I thought—”

  “I had an abortion.”

  David froze, his eyes glazed over, his mouth hanging open.

  “It happened a long time ago.” My voice was a lot calmer than I expected it to be.

  David’s eyes were wide and full of remorse. “I’m sorry.”

  “It wasn’t your fault.”

  “I know it wasn’t. I meant … what I was trying to say—”

  “You don’t have to apologize for something you didn’t do.”

  David busied himself by drinking the rest of his coffee. He was doing his best to look cool and composed, but his trembling hands gave him away.

  “It was Christopher’s, wasn’t it?”

  I nodded, and David began to grind his teeth together.

  “It happened three years ago. Christopher wasn’t mature enough to deal with the situation.”

  “So he didn’t go to the clinic with you?”

  “No, Dad did.”

  David frowned. “Why didn’t you make Christopher own up to his actions? Didn’t you tell his parents about the pregnancy?”

  I hesitated for a second, before shaking my head. “I promised Christopher I wouldn’t,” I said. “His father isn’t very nice.”

  David chewed on his lip for a few moments. “I’ve heard stories about his father before, but I didn’t believe them.”

  “Trust me, everything you’ve heard is true. I’ve seen the bruises.”

  David closed his eyes and tilted his head back. For a few seconds, it seemed like the entire cafeteria was quiet. “Now everything is starting to make sense,” he said, looking back at me. “That night, at my house, when things started to heat up … ”

  “I can’t go through that again, David. I won’t go through that again.”

  “But I’d never do that to you. I’m not Christopher.”

  I sighed. “But I’m still Rhonda. And it’s not you that I’m worried about. It’s me.”

  David reached for my hand again, but this time I pulled away before he could grab it. “You know, we don’t have to have sex.”

  For the first time that night, I laughed. “I wish I could believe you, but to be honest, I don’t trust either of us. Put us in the right situation and I know we’ll sleep together.” I wearily smiled at him. “We’re teenagers. That’s what te
enagers do.”

  “But what about condoms?”

  “Mistakes can still happen with condoms,” I said. “I just can’t take that risk.”

  He shook his head. “Can’t we at least try to make this work? I promise, I won’t pressure you into having sex.”

  I crossed my arms. “How many girlfriends have you had since ninth grade?”

  David shrugged. “I don’t know. Four. Maybe five.”

  “And how many have you slept with?”

  He looked away from me.

  “How many?” I demanded. “One? Two?”

  David continued to stare at the tabletop.

  I sunk a little lower in my seat as the sad truth came to me. “You slept with all of them, didn’t you?”

  “All of them, except for you.”

  I didn’t know whether to feel vindicated or disappointed. I finished the rest of my hot chocolate and rose from the table. “What would you do if I got pregnant?”

  David’s eyes widened. “I don’t know. I’d marry you, I guess.”

  “What if I don’t want to get married?” I placed my hands on my hips. “What if I don’t want to have the baby at all?”

  David stood up. “You’d get another abortion?”

  I looked at David’s sweet, caring face. “I don’t know what I’d do,” I said. “But I do know that if I’m not in a relationship, I don’t have to worry about it.”

  David slowly nodded. “So it really wasn’t my fault that we broke up?”

  “Of course it wasn’t your fault.” I stood on my toes and softly kissed his cheek. “We were over before we even began.”

  Sarah was in much better condition when Gail, Xavier, and I visited her on Sunday. She was doing so well, the doctor discharged her a day early, on the strict orders that she start bed rest immediately. However, she must have been too drugged up to hear his instructions, because she showed up at school on Monday. I finally caught up with her right before lunch, and was relieved to see she was doing okay.

  “How do you feel?” I asked Sarah on our way to the cafeteria. “Do you want me to take you home?”

  Sarah rolled her eyes. “Since when did you become my chauffeur?”