Sassy Ever After: I'll Sass If I Want To (Kindle Worlds Novella) (The Pride Commands Book 3)

by Michele Bardsley

  Gareth was trying to help Angela with the breathing exercises they had all practiced.

  It wasn’t going well.

  “Why didn’t we get morphine?” she wailed. Sweat dripped down her face. “I’d really like some morphine.”

  “It’s okay,” soothed Gareth.

  “The hell it is!”

  Gareth looked at Thomas helplessly. He had the ability to lessen her pain, but Angela wouldn’t hear of it. She insisted on having the baby completely natural. And she also refused Thomas’ offer to make her forget the labor process. It’s part of being a mother, she’d said. He wouldn’t go against her wishes, though he badly wanted to end her agony.

  Angela screamed as another contraction viciously gripped her womb.

  Thomas watched water spill out from between her thighs. In horror, he looked at the soaked bed. “Gareth, her amniotic sac broke.”

  * * *

  The argument about who should stay and who should go was short. Mostly because Abby’s stubborn mate knew he didn’t have a chance in hell at convincing her to stay home. Abby wasn’t letting her husband go off and battle the Ladon without her. Abby’s parents were babysitting the twins, who were conked out for the night anyway. If things went well, she and Reese would be back before dawn broke.

  The black SUV sat in the driveway, engine rumbling. It was early evening, but the sun had gone down leaving only the velvet black of night. The Hunter had insisted that their mission rely on only a few trusted members of the Valiant colony. That was easy enough—all five of Abby’s brothers were guardians of the colony in general and the alpha in particular.

  Abby sat in the passenger seat of the SUV, and her husband on the driver’s side. The Hunter sat in the back, marveling at the luxurious interior. Her brothers had squeezed into the seats behind the Hunter. Luckily the SUV was an extended cab.

  “I need one of these,” said Judith, patting the leather seats.

  “Well, they’re not as fast as you are for transporting,” said Thomas as he put the car into drive. “It’ll take a good two hours just to get to Hellion Hill.”

  “Oh, that’s not fast enough at all.” She waved at hand at the engine. The SUV revved into high gear and shot down the road. “We should be there in less than thirty now.”

  “I can’t drive this thing!” yelled Reese.

  “You don’t have to,” said Judith. “I’m driving it.”

  “From the backseat?” he asked, horror in his voice. Abby watched Reese grip the useless steering wheel so hard his knuckles turned white. As they zoomed past other cars and weaved between the slower the ones, Abby felt her stomach pitch.

  “Are you sure you know what you’re doing?” she asked Judith.

  “Of course I do.” Judith smiled winsomely. “Magical spirit, remember?”

  * * *

  Eliza DuChamp held up her smartphone, a smirk twisting her lips. She stood in the safe house kitchen having just finished off the blood wine. “I found them.” She looked at Craig, who was the epitome of an asshole. He lounged on the couch, perfecting an air of boredom. “They’re in a place called Hellion Hill.”

  “Are you sure?”

  “Yes. I have eyes and ears everywhere. My humans know that if that if they lie to me or fail me, I will suck them dry.” She rubbed her tongue over her fangs. That blood wine, delicious as it was, had not been enough sustenance.

  “How long will it take to get this Hellion Hill place?”

  Craig stood up from the couch. Eliza had to admit that the werecougar alpha had quite the outer package. If she didn’t loathe him, she might well seduce him. But the shifter cat had made it clear how distasteful he found her. His revulsion angered her to no end. She was beautiful and powerful and wealthy. He was nothing compared to her.

  “That’s a bit of good news. It’s less than hour away. And by vampire? Mere minutes.”

  Craig grimaced. “I don’t want to fly anywhere else with you.”

  “You are such a whiner.” She threw her hands up. “Fine! I’ll magic us there instead.”

  His eyes widened. “I thought transportation ability was a vampire myth.”

  “Not a myth. But only the oldest and most powerful can perform the magic needed.”

  “I still think we should take some of my guardians with me.”

  “Like that worked out so well for you before.” She delighted in his pained look. The only reason Craig Harper had deigned to chase their prey himself is because the last time he sent minions, they’d betrayed him.

  She, too, had been betrayed. Her rage for Thomas was a bright and hot as a star. How dare he dump her for a human? And Cyn Salais? Eliza sneered. She would eat that bitch’s flesh and gnaw on her bones.

  “We stick to our plan,” she said. "No one else is needed. Agreed?”

  “Yeah.” Craig stuck his hands into his jean pockets. “So how do we do this transport shit?”

  “Put your arms around me,” she said. “Don’t worry,” she said, flashing fang, “I won’t bite you.”

  “If you want to keep that lovely face intact, you won’t,” said Craig.

  “Aw. You say the sweetest things.” Eliza enacted the transportation magic and in the next instant, they stood among pine trees, the night sky barely visible above them.

  Craig stepped out of Eliza’s embrace, and looked around. “Are they hiding in the trees?”

  “Don’t be an idiot. The town is that way,” she said. “I wasn’t going to plop us in the middle of street. Sheesh.”

  “Wait. What is that?”

  Eliza tilted her head and listened. “It sounds like hissing.”

  The ground beneath their feet shook, and the next thing Eliza saw was a building-sized serpent crash through the pines. Before she knew what was happening, the huge triangular head dove at them.

  The serpent snapped Craig up with its powerful jaws. Eliza heard the sickening crunch of bones and then the shifter was swallowed. In horror, she watched the lump that used to be Craig worked its way down the creature’s throat.

  She turned and ran. Panic clouded her thoughts and slowed her limbs. She had never felt this terrified in her life. She raised her arms and lifted into the air, intending to fly as far away as she could.

  Too little, too late. The snake caught her by the legs and threw her to the ground. The last thing Eliza saw was the huge curved fangs, dripping with Craig’s blood, descend upon her.

  Chapter Four

  Just as Cyn hit the “You’re Now Leaving Hellion Hill” sign, the mini-van went kaput. She slammed on the brakes and shifted into park. “What the fuck?”

  “The last thing we need is broken-down car,” said Kane as he and Aris jumped out. Cyn popped the hood. Worry beat in her undead heart. Angela had not looked good. Her skin was ashen—and the pain in her expression struck fear into Cyn. Surely Angela wouldn’t die. I won’t let that happen.

  “There’s nothing wrong,” called out Kane.

  “Come out here, Cyn,” yelled Aris.

  Cyn exited the car. At this altitude, the night air felt chilly. The stars were pinpricks in the sky’s dark tapestry. If she wasn’t in the middle of a crisis, she might actually enjoy the scenery. Kane and Aris stood in the middle of the road.

  “Watch this.” Aris stepped forward, and he immediately stumbled back as though he’d hit a trampoline. Kane tried next with the same bouncy results. Cyn walked forward and felt like she’d run into invisible gelatin.

  “What is this?” she asked.

  “It’s a magical border.” Kane shook his head. “Damn it.” He turned to Cyn. “We can’t leave.”

  “Well, that’s just fucking great!” A loud hissing erupted. Cyn went to the minivan and kicked the tire. “Fuck you, you fucking fucker.”

  “It’s not the car.” Aris pointed toward the dense woods to the left of the road.

  Cyn paused, tilting her head. Her vampire senses were still fairly new to her, so she wasn’t yet relying on them too heavily. She concentrated on
the odd noise and realized the loud rasping was definitely coming from the nearby forest. The trees wobbled and limbs cracked as whatever was hissing made its way toward them.

  The next thing she saw was the biggest goddamned snake she’d ever laid eyes on. The serpent was a brilliant red with a triangular head as a big as Volvo, and its scaly body as wide as a freeway. Its yellow eyes with diamond irises examined them coldly.

  “I hate snakes,” said Aris.

  “I’m not too fond of them, either,” said Cyn. “But I think we’re looking at the thing that killed everyone in town.”

  The serpent’s tail appeared and whipped down onto the minivan, flattening it so hard the tires blew out.

  “Holy shit,” cried Cyn. She backed away, her gaze on the swaying monster as it lifted its tail once more.

  “Angela’s too vulnerable right now. We have to lead it away from town,” yelled Kane. “C’mon.” He turned and ran into the woods on the opposite side of the road. Aris and Cyn followed.

  And so did the snake from hell.

  * * *

  Angela screamed. Her hand gripped Gareth’s so tightly, he thought she might cut off the circulation. It had been fifteen minutes, and other than her agony visibly growing stronger with every contraction, she hadn’t progressed very much.

  His mate went limp against the pillows. She’d been passing out between contractions. He was certain that wasn’t normal.

  “Shouldn’t the baby at least be crowning now?” Gareth asked.

  “I don’t know.” Thomas looked worriedly at Angela. “It was stupid to bring her here.”

  “We weren’t planning on staying that long. And we couldn’t risk her life or our child’s by getting caught. With Eliza and Craig working together, we’re barely staying ahead of them.”

  “You’re right. It’s just … her heartbeat is erratic. But the baby’s heartbeat is even and strong.”

  Angela awoke. Gareth helped her sit up as another ribbon of pain squeezed her belly. He hated that he could not alleviate her agony.

  “This sucks,” she said in a hoarse whisper. Her eyes fluttered closed, and she went limp once more.

  “Help her,” said Gareth.

  “I don’t know what to do. The books didn’t prepare us for this.”

  “Alleviate her pain, Thomas.”

  He shook his head. “I promised her.” Gareth could feel his friend’s helplessness—he felt exactly the same.

  They heard tires skid across gravel. Relief cascaded through Gareth. The return of his friends surely meant they’d found help. At the very least, Cyn could offer womanly advice about the situation.

  “Thank the goddess,” said Thomas.

  Doors opened and feet stomped on the plank sidewalk. Gareth rushed to the door and yelled downstairs, “Hurry up, damn it!”

  He returned to Angela just in time for her to awaken and begin screaming.

  “What the hell is going?” asked an unfamiliar male voice.

  Gareth looked up to find Reese, his mate Abby, an elderly woman, and five huge men crowded in the doorway. “Reese? What are you doing here?”

  “I’m here—wait a minute. Why are y’all here?”

  “Oh, my God. Who cares?” The grandmother hurried into the room. “Abby, help me.”

  “She needs to be in a squatting position, not laid out like a wet noodle on the bed,” berated the older woman. “Gravity will help her, you idiots.”

  “Who the hell are you?” asked Gareth.

  “Judith. Now move.”

  Gareth shared a stunned look with Thomas as Judith and Abby muscled them out of the way. “She needs support.” Judith glared at the men. “That’s you two. Get on either side of her. Pretend you’re chairs, for heaven’s sake.”

  Gareth did as the lady demanded. They put Angela’s arms around their necks as directed and held their mate under her thighs. Gareth glanced at the doorway. Reese still stood there, but the five men had disappeared. Good. Angela already had too big of an audience.

  “What happened to your minivan?” asked Reese.

  Gareth felt the breath whoosh out of him. “What do you mean?”

  “It looks like a pancake.”

  “No doubt the Ladon did that,” said Judith as she shoved covers underneath Angela.

  “What the fuck is a Ladon?” snapped Thomas.

  Angela screamed—cutting short the conversation. Judith kneeled in front of her and gently felt between her bloodied thighs. “I can feel the baby’s head. Excellent.”

  “Our friends took the minivan,” said Gareth. “Aris, Kane, and Cyn.”

  “No one was in the car,” said Reese. “We checked. I’ll take my guardians and search for your friends.” The Valiant alpha’s face looked relieved to have the excuse to leave the room.

  “And don’t forget to kill the Ladon,” directed Judith.

  “That’s the first thing on my to-do list,” promised Reese. He glanced at his wife. “I’ll be back.”

  “You better,” she said.

  * * *

  With Cyn’s vampire strength and speed, she easily kept up with her mates, both of whom had taken on their cougar forms. The ugly, persistent snake slithered right behind them, knocking aside trees like they were matchsticks. The woods had thinned out considerably. They ran across a field of tall grass, headed toward a large, stony outcropping. At the bottom, she saw the entrance to a cave. Either they scaled the craggy rock and attempted to hide in that cave, or they would have to turn and fight. She knew which option she preferred.

  “We’re far enough away from town,” said Cyn. “It’s time to kill this thing.”

  She slid to a stop and turned, drawing silver half-sword from its hip holster. She left the gun on her other hip. She didn’t think bullets would penetrate the serpent’s thick scales, but the pure silver sword caused damage on most supernatural creatures. She hoped it would work on super strong, ginormous snakes.

  Her mates roared as they crouched by her side, long golden tails swishing.

  The snake slithered into the clearing, its forked tongue flickering as it coiled the back of its body. The front part rose into the air, towering above them.

  Cyn let out a war cry, hoisting her sword as she ran toward the beast. Her mates followed, roaring their own battle songs.

  The sword easily pierced the scales and Cyn twisted the blade, causing the creature to screech in pain. Aris and Kane dug in with their claws and teeth. Cyn pulled the sword out and struck again and again.

  The serpent shook its massive body, easily dislodging them. All three went flying backward. Cyn landed hard on her backside, but as a vampire, she wasn’t hurt easily. Within seconds, Cyn was up and charging the beast again.

  Her goddamned sword was still embedded in the monster’s flesh.

  “Need help?” called out a voice.

  “You think?” she screamed back, not caring who’d arrived, as long as they were on her side.

  Five huge cougars slunk out of the tree line, growling as they approached the serpent. Cyn wrenched her sword free.

  “I’m Reese,” said the man as he approached.

  “I don’t give a fuck who you are as long as you help us kill this thing.”

  Reese grinned. And then he got on all fours and shifted, his clothes shredding as he took on his werecougar form.

  The snake reared back, trying to uncoil and slither away. But now there were eight pissed-off cougars and one furious vampire attacking it. It bobbed its head and undulated its body, hissing and screeching as the cats dug in claws and teeth, slashing and biting.

  Cyn decided the only way to end this bullshit was to put her sword through its braincase. She jumped onto the back of the serpent, digging her fingers in-between the scales and climbing the moving snake tower.

  She looked down at the mauling cougars. Despite the snake’s best efforts to rid itself of the attacking cats, it couldn’t shake them. Cyn reached the top without sweating or huffing—yay for being a vampire!

/>   When she got to the top of the beast’s head, she drew her sword from its scabbard. Holding on to one of the scales, she lifted the sword and jammed it as hard as she could into its skull. “Die, motherfucker.”

  The snake screeched as blood spurted out of its mouth.

  It swayed heavily and then began to fall.

  Cyn jumped and landed on her feet, other than a few scratches, none the worse for wear. The monster slammed into the ground, gurgling. Not one to leave a target still breathing, Cyn used her sword and her vampire strength to saw off its head.

  When she was through, she was soaked in its pungent blood, and the ground was covered in flesh and innards. Wait a minute. She looked again at the mess on the ground and recognized the mutilated body of Eliza.

  Kane and Aris padded up next to her and shifted into their human forms. “Who is that?”

  “Eliza DuChamp. Ding, dong, the bitch is dead.”

  “And so is Craig. Look.” Aris pointed at a bloodied lump.

  Cyn realized she was looked at the severed head of a man. “Well, we killed three assholes with one sword.”

  “This is good news,” said Kane.

  “We’ll celebrate later,” said Aris.

  Kane and Aris shifted back into cougars and joined the others waiting near the tree line.

  Cyn joined them and looked down at herself. Whew. She looked bad and smelled wore. “I need to get dead snake off me—and fast. Angela still needs us.”

  Chapter Five

  Angela grunted. “I n-need to push.”

  “Not yet. Wait for your next contraction,” directed Judith. “Then you can push.”

  The next band of pain came quickly. Angela gritted her teeth and bore down.

  “Excellent,” said Judith. “The head’s through.” She leaned forward and wiped the mucous from the baby’s mouth. He responded with a loud wail. “One more push, dear. Get those shoulders through, and you’re home free.”

  The next contraction came swiftly, and Angela screamed as she pushed down one last time. The baby slipped free, and Judith caught the newborn with practiced hands. “Lay her upright on the bed and stuff some pillows behind her head.”