Kindred

by Adrianne Lemke

  "What's wrong?" I heard him ask quietly, not wanting Jason to overhear him.

  "Later," Alice responded with a quick glance at Jason. Paul frowned, but nodded in agreement.

  "Supper's ready," June called from the dining room. "Gather ‘round."

  The kids quickly headed to the table, Alice and I trailed behind. Jason hung back for a moment, but waved me forward when I tried to wait for him. "Go. I'll be there in a minute," he said.

  "All right, but don't take too long. They're already starting to see that something is bothering you."

  He shrugged. "They're smart kids, and they know me. It's not surprising they'd notice something. Go," he said again. "I'll be right behind you." I nodded and joined the others at the table.

  "Where's Jason?" June asked with a slight frown. She looked over the table making sure everything was in place, and the only thing missing was Jason.

  I waved vaguely in the direction of the door. "He's coming. Just needed a few minutes to himself, I guess."

  Alice glanced toward the entryway, an expression of concern on her face. She made a move to get up, but I waved her down. "He'll be here soon," I said. "Don't worry." Jason walked in as I was speaking. "See? Now we can start."

  "Sorry about that. Just needed a breath of fresh air. What's for supper?" His voice was normal. He seemed completely calm, and I didn't buy it for a minute. But the look he shot me didn't welcome any doubts.

  "Spaghetti and meatballs with garlic bread," June answered. "There's also salad and a chocolate cake for dessert."

  "Wow, that sounds great, June. Thanks for inviting us tonight, everything smells delicious," Jason said with a smile that actually reached his eyes. I felt myself relax at seeing a true smile for once, and I accepted the bowl of spaghetti from Ginny who sat next to me. As Jason had predicted, the meal was delicious, and the dinner conversation was lively and entertaining. The kids were all excited to go back to school and get back to a normal life, but they were a bit nervous about being able to fit in with the other kids who hadn't been through what they'd been through. But at least they had each other to lean on if things got difficult. And they could always go to Jason for anything. He was still in charge, in their minds, and they would come back to him in an instant if he asked.

  But he wouldn't. Jason would see how happy they were, and he would think that they didn't need him anymore; that they were better off without him. He would never see that they would rather be with him than with Dan and June. The only reason they were staying, or at least the reason Paul was staying, was because it was the only way to stay in constant contact with Jason. He was their big brother, their protector. They wouldn't forget that, and sooner or later, Jason would realize it too.

  "I'm glad we went. We needed some time out of the house and with friends," Alice said as we drove home. She hadn't done much besides go to work and come home lately. Unlike Jason and me she didn't have the free time to go to a park or hang out with people outside of work, and I felt bad that even our normal outings had come to almost a standstill. Although she had gone out with Agent Jones a couple times since Jason's rescue. They seemed to get along pretty well, but she was noncommittal about what she felt about him, and in our girl talks never said more than that he was a nice guy and she liked him. He also knew about Jason's abilities, but Jason was close-mouthed whenever Mark was around. He didn't seem to take it personally. Mark had been the one to find Jason after Mason had tortured him, the first one to see just how badly injured the kidnapped police informant was. He understood Jason's inability to trust a near stranger.

  "Yeah, it was fun, we should do this kind of thing more often," I said, glancing to the backseat where Jason sat quietly. He was shaking his head and looking confused. "Jase, are you okay?" I asked, turning to face him.

  "Just confused," he said, his face mirroring what he said.

  "About what?" I asked when he didn't continue.

  He met my eyes and I could see the worry and fear as he said, "You guys are talking about having fun tonight, but we haven't even gone yet. Have we?"

  TWELVE

  Kindred

  I'd spent the evening with the Tracker, enjoying myself with his friends and family while he hid away in the dark place. He wouldn't know what had happened, but it had been a long time since I'd had a home-cooked meal like the one June had prepared. It was interesting to be so involved in a normal activity. But as fun as hanging out with the Tracker’s friends was, it was time to get back to work, so I regretfully cut ties with the Tracker for the moment to focus on my next task: I needed to get at the man currently in police custody. It wouldn't be too difficult, but there were a lot of people I'd need to get past. It wasn't like breaking into someone's house. There were security cameras and guards to get past. The guards were easy. The cameras were another story. Oh well. It would make the chase all the more exciting with the possibility of my identity being discovered. I would wear a ski mask, but the thrill I felt at possibly having my identity discovered prompted me to choose a baseball cap pulled low over my face.

  I left the Tracker with his friends and shook my head to clear it after tonight’s exertion. Despite my evening activities, I was eager to get on with my plans. I would need to rest up for my next step. It would take a lot of energy to get through the minds of hardened cops and the other criminals in holding where my prey was being kept. I felt a smile on my face as I once again anticipated the thrill of the hunt, made even more exhilarating by the threat of discovery. It would be the Tracker's first view of me, and I wanted to be able to leave a message for him.

  THIRTEEN

  Jason

  Alice and Hannah looked at me in horror. "Jason, you were with us. You interacted with everyone and ate with us. Are you telling me you can't remember any of tonight?" Alice asked. Hannah just stared on in wordless concern.

  I simply shook my head. "There's nothing. I remember flattening the dirt outside my window, and then nothing until we pulled into the driveway." I could feel the fear and apprehension building up as I realized. "I blacked out again, but…"

  "But this time you were acting normal," Hannah finished for me as I trailed off uncertainly. "How can that be? Every other time you were just out of it."

  "Not before we left," Alice countered. "He'd blacked out upstairs and ended up down in his room." She frowned thoughtfully. "It doesn't sound like normal blackouts."

  I gave a short laugh. "What are 'normal blackouts' exactly? Please tell me, Alice, I'd really like to know!"—my voice rose anxiously—"What is going on with me, Alice? I want to know what's happening!"

  "Jason, calm down. We'll figure it out. Let's go in and we can call Dustin. If he's the one you're going to talk to, then he'll want to know what happened tonight," Hannah said calmly. How she could be so calm with what was going on was beyond me. But she was right. Although I was hesitant to call Dustin after our fight, I knew in light of this new development, he'd want to come.

  I swayed slightly as I got out of the car, fighting the wave of dizziness that had come over me. Hannah and Alice were getting out of the car and didn't notice, so I steadied myself and walked to the house, the girls following. If Dustin came, I would tell him about the momentary dizziness. Until then it didn't really matter.

  "Jase, you seem pale. You should lie down until Dustin gets here," Hannah noticed when she turned on the lights. "I'll call him right now."

  I nodded and headed unsteadily down the stairs to my room, and almost collapsed onto my bed. Whatever had caused this blackout to be different had wiped me out, and I was out as soon as my body hit the bed.

  "He's really out; maybe this should wait until morning." Hannah's voice; coming from inside my room.

  I groaned. "I'm awake," I mumbled. My room was nearly pitch-black, the only light coming from the hall light through the now open door. I could see Hannah and Dustin only by silhouette as they discussed whether to wake me or not. "How long was I out?"

  "About an hour. It took a while for me t
o get here," Dustin said; his voice calm. None of his earlier anger showed. "I needed to look up some information about treating blackouts caused by Post-Traumatic stress, but based on what Hannah told me, this is unlike anything recorded. I've never heard of a situation where the person blacking out is still able to interact normally with people."

  Hannah shushed him. "Give him a minute to wake up before you start in on him."

  "Sorry," he said sheepishly. "We'll give you a minute."

  "No problem. I'm awake," I said more clearly as I sat up rubbing my eyes. "I'm sorry about before, Dustin. I…"—glancing at Hannah, I stopped—"Hannah, could you…" I gestured vaguely at the door.

  "Oh, right," she said. "I guess you guys need to talk. Okay. I'll see you later then." She left the room, obviously not really wanting to go, but respecting my wishes for privacy. I got up and turned on the light, closing the door behind her before turning toward Dustin.

  "Thank you for coming. I know you're upset at me, and with good reason." He shook his head, about to interrupt. "No," I said. "You were right. I haven't been taking care of myself. And now I'm losing control more than ever."

  "Jason, I don't believe these are simple blackouts from Post-Traumatic stress. From what I've read, people in blackouts cannot respond normally to outside stimuli. If you were blacked out this evening, you wouldn't have been able to react and respond normally, let alone eat and drink and joke around. Although the joking should have given it away to everyone," I glared and he held his hands up as a shield. "Hey, I'm just sayin'. It's not like you've been happy go lucky up 'til now. Why would you start so soon after your last blackout?"

  "Good point," I grumbled. "So why wouldn't anyone notice? Or were they just too polite to call me on phony behavior?"

  "I honestly can't say. I wasn't there. It's possible that somehow you weren't being phony. Maybe they just saw you having a good time, and hoped you were starting to turn a corner. No one could have suspected that you were in the midst of a blackout. You can't blame them."

  Maybe I couldn't, not logically. But somehow I felt that someone should have realized that something was off. "I don't. Not really. It's just…" I trailed off, not sure how to continue.

  Dustin shook his head and looked down slightly. "Maybe we should start with what you remember before the dinner. What were you doing when you lost yourself?"

  It seemed like an easy answer. I'd been using my abilities to fix the mess I'd made earlier that night and then nothing, right? Maybe, but there was something… something right on the edge of my consciousness. Something I had sensed before I'd lost myself again. I rubbed at my forehead, trying to dig the memory up. "Jason, ease up. Just relax and let it come to you. You can't force it," Dustin said, putting his hand on my arm to stop my frantic rubbing.

  "There's something I need to remember. I sensed something right after I fixed my mess." I looked up at him in realization. "It was footsteps."

  "Whose footsteps? Jason, who was there?"

  My body shook with fear and anxiety as I finally allowed myself to believe what my abilities were telling me. "It was Kindred."

  FOURTEEN

  Hannah

  What happened last night had shaken all of us. Dustin and Jason had stayed in his room talking for quite a while, voices occasionally rising so we could hear them, although the specifics of the conversation remained between the two guys. It was how Jason wanted it. I had to keep telling myself that he'd tell us when he was ready, but it was hard living with him knowing that he was having so many problems. All I wanted was for him to trust me enough to be able to help him, but apparently that was too much to ask.

  "Ease up, little sis," Alice said with a chuckle. "The dish is clean." I set the glass I'd been scrubbing down into the drying rack and turned to her. "Whoa, Hannah. Honey, he'll be fine. We'll figure this out." She pulled me into a hug and I sobbed into her shoulder, surprising myself with the sudden display of emotion.

  "Sorry, Ali. I don't know what came over me," I said pulling away and wiping my face with my hands. "I'll just finish these up before I head to class."

  She cocked her head and looked me over critically. "You don't have class for another two hours."

  "Yeah, I'm meeting some friends for a study session first. There's a test today. I can't miss it. It counts for forty percent of my grade." I was feeling defensive all of a sudden. It felt wrong to go to class like normal when Jason was going through who knows what by himself.

  Alice looked at me sympathetically, her mouth twitching in a gentle smile. "You don't need to feel guilty, Hannah. It's okay to go to class and act normal. You need to get away from this stuff for a while, so concentrate on your test. Everything else will still be here when you get back."

  She was right, and I sighed when I realized that the problems we were going through right now would be unlikely to go away anytime soon. Jason was traumatized by what Trevor Mason had done to him, and that was not a problem to be fixed overnight. "I need to stop pushing him," I said. "He's not ready to face all of this stuff plus what's going on with Kindred."

  "You may be right, but he probably does need the push to get him to face his problems. If he's given the option, he's going to fall into the same habit he's had for his entire life; he's going to ignore it and push down the feelings of anger, helplessness, and fear. He will likely need to resolve what's going on with Kindred before he can even begin to work with his other issues."

  "I just want to help him, Alice. I want him to be back to normal."

  She smiled knowingly. "I know. But there's one essential flaw in what you just said. You want him to be back to normal, but normal is him hiding his problems. His whole personality could change once he actually works through his problems. Are you ready for that, little sis?"

  My eyes narrowed. I hadn't thought of that. "You're right. Hey," I said suddenly, "do you have any idea if the guys figured anything out last night? I fell asleep before they were done talking."

  She considered my question carefully before saying, "I don't really know. It was pretty late by the time they were done, and all I got out of Dustin when he came upstairs was that Jason was pretty freaked out, and wasn't sure if he was remembering things correctly. He said Jason was probably right, but he's doubting himself right now."

  I frowned. "Did he happen to mention what it was that Jason thought he remembered?"

  Alice shook her head. "Nope. Kept that a secret. I was thinking about having Jason come down to the station this afternoon to consult on the Kindred case. I'll ask him then. It's possible that his blackouts aren't just PTSD. It’s possible they could be drug related. We need to figure out what, and Jason needs to talk about it."

  “Drugs?” I exclaimed. “Jason would never do drugs, Alice. There is no way!”

  My sister’s eyes widened in surprise. “Hannah, I was only…”

  “No! You told me yourself, his stance against drugs was one of the things you admired most about him. Why…?”

  “Calm down, Hannah,” Alice spoke firmly. “I was only suggesting the possibility. It could be a bad reaction to his drugs, or someone could be doing it to him. There’s also the slight possibility, although I don’t want to even consider it, that he has decided to try to escape his reality with drugs. Maybe not as likely, given his normal anti-drug position, but it is a possibility.”

  Alice was right. As much as I hated to admit there was a chance, Jason could be having drug problems. Still, it didn’t seem right. “I still don’t believe he’d do it to himself. You’ve seen how scared he is.”

  She gazed at me thoughtfully. “You’re right. It’s more likely a drug reaction, or maybe someone is drugging him somehow.”

  We paused our argument when a door opened and closed, and I looked up to see Sam enter the kitchen. He was silent as he grabbed a bowl and some cereal. "Sam. Are you okay?"

  He looked at me, his face blank, and I felt a sudden surge of guilt when I realized that in the aftermath of the meal yesterday we hadn’t paid
any attention to him. His brother had a major blackout in front of him, and we hadn’t even made sure he was doing okay before he’d snuck into his room for bed. "Fine. How's Jason?"

  "Sleeping for now. Alice and I will be leaving pretty soon, so he'll probably wake up…"

  Alice interrupted, "Actually, I think Jason needs his sleep. How would you feel about visiting Paul, Ginny and Jeff today? I'm sure June wouldn't mind one more kid for the day."

  It wouldn't be much trouble for sure. The kids were all used to taking care of themselves, and were plenty self-sufficient. Couple that with June's desire to care for people and there wouldn't be any problem. "Yeah, Jason could probably use some down time this morning."

  Sam frowned. "Should he be left alone? What happens if he forgets again?"

  "Forgets? Forgets what?" Alice asked in confusion.

  "Forgets where he is or what he's doing… like last night at Dan 'n June's. He was there with us, but he forgot when we got home," Sam seemed confused and worried, but he had a point. He also hadn’t completely understood what had happened with Jason, and I wasn’t sure if we should try to explain that Jason’s body had been with us, but his mind had been elsewhere.

  Alice must have seen my expression, because she was quick to respond. "Most likely he'll be sleeping for most of the morning. He and Dustin were up late, and he had a hard day yesterday. I'll leave a note to have him call me at work when he wakes up and that I want him to come in this afternoon. Hopefully that won't leave enough time for any further blackouts. He'll be fine, Sammy," she assured him, resting her hand on his shoulder for a moment before getting up and going to get ready for work.