Drowning In Love

by Beth Rinyu

  "Where is Travis?" he asked.

  "Oh, I don't know; he's off somewhere." I was beyond annoyed with Travis at this point and didn't really care where he was.

  "Well, do you think he would mind if I stole you for a dance?"

  I shrugged my shoulders. "I don't know if he'll care, but I would love to dance with you."

  We headed off to the dance floor. He wrapped his arms around me and we began to move to the music. By the time the music was over, I finally noticed Travis and he didn't look happy.

  "Hey, Travis, I was just keeping Mia company while you disappeared.”

  I could tell that he was even drunker than when I had last seen him, if that was even possible. He quickly wrapped his arm around me and pulled me toward him. "I want to go home and fuck your brains out."

  Josh looked at him, taken off guard by his crass statement. I felt my face turning red. "Travis, stop it."

  "That's right, Josh, this beautiful woman is all mine, so keep your fuckin’ hands off her," Travis slurred.

  "Travis!" I shouted.

  "It's okay, Mia; he's drunk."

  "Don't fuckin’ talk about me like I'm not standing here, while you're trying to fuck my girlfriend right in front of me," Travis shouted, causing a group of people to turn around to see what was going on.

  "Oh my God, Travis, will you please stop it?" I pleaded.

  "Did he tell you that he had a bet going on to see how many chicks he could bang in a week? What was your total, man?”

  Josh stood there speechless, looking like he was just as embarrassed as I was right now. “Not cool, bro,” Josh said, shaking his head.

  “Oh, what’s the matter? You don’t want Mia knowing?” His arm remained tightly wrapped around me. “If you think you’re adding her to your list, you’re wrong. She’s mine.”

  “Well, it was nice meeting you, Mia,” Josh said as he shook his head at Travis and walked away.

  I pulled away from Travis’ grip. “Get the hell off of me,” I said, trying not to make even more of a scene than the one that Travis had just created.

  I made my way through the crowd, trying to escape my embarrassment as Travis followed behind me. “Oh, Mia, come on, baby, don’t be pissed.” He finally caught up with me and took my hand in his.

  “I’m going, Travis!”

  “Okay, let’s go,” he responded as he staggered back and forth with glassy eyes.

  We were almost out the door. “Travis!” A very attractive and very drunk woman wrapped her arms around him. My jaw dropped and stomached clenched with pure disgust as she pulled him closer and kissed him hard. Travis just stood there, staring at her in his drunkenness, like he was oblivious as to what was going on.

  She must have seen the look of shock and disgust on my face. “Oh, I’m sorry; you must be his choice for the night. Well, have fun with him; he’s really good!” She flashed me a quick smile before walking away.

  “Mia –” Travis went to grab my arm.

  I pulled away. “Get the hell away from me, Travis.” I did my best to fight the burning in my eyes.

  “Who the heck was that?” Chloe asked as she came rushing over with her date following her around like a little puppy dog.

  “I don’t know. Why don’t you ask Travis? That’s if he even remembers,” I responded.

  “Oh, Mia, calm down; he’s drunk.” She chuckled as if it were no big deal.

  “Really, I didn’t realize that. Maybe if you weren’t shoving alcohol down his throat the whole night, he wouldn’t be this way right now.” I was pissed, really pissed, and I wanted to make sure she knew it.

  “Mia, Travis is a big boy. He could have stopped drinking any time he wanted. He has a mind of his own. Something I think he’s forgotten since he met you, perfect little princess, Mia. I told you before; don’t think you’re special just because he’s fucking you. You’re just one on the list of many. It’s only a matter of time before he gets bored with you and moves on to the next. Trust me, you are not his type.”

  “You fucking bitch! Stay out of mine and Travis’ relationship.”

  She rolled her eyes at me. I wanted to scream my head off, scratch her eyes out, and rip that fake hair out of her head. Instead, I refrained, took a deep breath, and just walked away. She wasn’t worth getting myself even more upset. I was angry enough with Travis. I just wanted to go home and forget that this night ever happened.

  I looked around; Travis was nowhere to be found, which was just as well. I didn’t feel like dealing with him either. I hurriedly made my way out the door. I was fortunate enough to jump into a cab that was just letting someone off. “Mia!” Travis shouted as he pushed his way in, moving closer to me. I gave the cab driver Travis’ address. I planned on getting him into bed safely and heading home to my place. There was no way in hell that I was spending the night with him tonight. I was angry at myself for even taking the time to make sure that he made it home okay. I knew that deep down inside it was because I wanted to make sure that no one else was taking him home. I hated myself for having such thoughts. I wanted to be able to trust him. But after what had happened tonight, I was having a really hard time with that.

  He moved closer to me and moved his hand under my dress. I quickly removed it and slapped it. “Travis, just stop!”

  “Come on, Mia, quit being such a fuckin’ bitch.” I bit my lip again to stop myself from smacking him. He’s drunk; he doesn’t know what he’s saying! I kept repeating those words over and over again in my head. I didn’t respond as my mom’s advice from a long time ago came flashing to the forefront of my mind – Never argue with a drunk, it’s a hopeless battle. So I didn’t. I just looked out the window and did my best to ignore him until we got to his apartment. I gave Travis a good hard push to get him out of the cab and asked the cab driver to wait for me. He was staggering and even though it killed me to touch him, I wrapped my arm around him and helped him walk in.

  Charlie, his doorman, opened the door for us. “Hey, Charlie, do you know how much I love this beautiful girl right here?” Travis slurred.

  Charlie gave me a sympathetic smile. “Good luck, Mia.”

  “Gee, thanks.” I shook my head in disgust.

  We took the elevator up to Travis’ apartment. I did my best to ignore his wandering hands once again. “I want to fuck you right here, Mia.” He pushed me up against the wall and kissed me.

  “Travis, stop it!” I pushed him away.

  “Come on, Mia, let’s do it right here, baby.”

  I was so happy when the elevator finally stopped at his floor. I walked him into his bedroom, took off his shoes, and removed his tie. He lay down on the bed and quickly jumped up to run to the bathroom. I shook my head when I heard the sound of him throwing up. He walked back to the bed silently, looking like he was in pain. It was only a matter of seconds of his head hitting the pillow before he was passed out cold. I covered him with a blanket before heading out the door. I stood, waiting for the elevator. I finally came face to face with what I had most dreaded. Travis’ past had collided with our present and it was even more painful than I ever imagined it would be.

  Chapter 27

  Travis…..

  I rolled over in my bed; my head was pounding and I felt like absolute shit. I hadn’t gotten that drunk in a while and my body was paying the price for it now. I tried my best to remember exactly what had happened last night. I remembered Mia being pissed and, given the fact that she wasn’t here right now, she must have been really pissed. I slowly got out of bed and made a cup of coffee in hopes that it would help in making me feel better, but no such luck. I picked up my phone and dialed Mia’s number. After four rings, it went to her voice mail – yeah, she was definitely pissed! I just wanted to go back to sleep, but I had to go make things right with her so I dragged myself into the shower, ignoring the calls from my bed to get back in it. If it were any other person, I would have said fuck it I’m going back to bed, but Mia wasn’t just any other person. She was my extraordinar
y girl who probably wanted to kick my ass and, given the way I was feeling, she probably could right now.

  Chapter 28

  Mia…

  I awoke the next morning, not feeling any better than I had when I went to bed. I called my mom and made plans to spend the afternoon and night with her and my stepdad. I needed to get away from this place for a while. Juan had texted me to tell me he was on his way over with bagels and coffee.

  “Good morning, pookie dook,” I heard his cheerful voice scream as he entered my apartment.

  “Hey,” I said as I walked out of my bedroom.

  “What the heck is wrong with you?”

  We sat down to our bagels and coffee and I unloaded everything that had happened last night on Juan. He listened closely and shook his head. “Who’s this Chloe?” he asked.

  “She’s Travis’ agent and she is a total bitch! She just acts so weird with him.”

  “Weird in what way?”

  “I don’t know; she’s always hanging all over him. She acts like she controls him or something.” I told Juan about the comment Travis’ mother had made about her on Thanksgiving.

  “Well, I’ll rip her eyes out if she messes with you,” Juan said, taking a sip of his coffee. “This is one bitch she doesn’t want to mess with.” He snapped his fingers and jerked his head.

  I shook my head and laughed. “No, she doesn’t!”

  We talked for a while and I felt a little better. Juan always had that effect on me. He was the only one that could make me smile when I thought it was impossible. I got up to walk him to the door and looked down at my ringing cell phone – Travis. “Are you going to answer it?” Juan asked.

  I looked down at the phone again; I wasn’t ready to deal with him just yet. “Nope, fuck him!” I smiled.

  “That’s my girl.” Juan gave me a high five. “Make him beg!”

  “You are too much, Juan.” I shook my head and laughed.

  “Hey, it works. After five years, Brian is still crazy over this bitch!” I laughed even harder. “See ya, baby cakes.” He gave me a kiss on the cheek and headed on his way.

  I picked up my phone from the table; no voicemail, so I just ignored the missed call as if it didn’t exist. I jumped in the shower, quickly threw my hair in a ponytail, and put on some makeup.

  I cringed when I heard my door buzzing. I knew exactly who it was before I even hit the button. I was hoping not to have to deal with him today, especially not face to face. I stood at my door, prepping myself for him as he made his way up the stairs.

  I opened the door and let him in, pulling away as he went to kiss me.

  “Okay, I deserve that,” he said.

  I completely ignored him and went into my bedroom to finish dressing as if he wasn’t even there. He followed me in and sat down on my bed.

  “Mia, I’m so sorry. I should have never drunk that much last night.”

  “No, you shouldn’t have,” I said, finally acknowledging his presence.

  “Did you want to do something today?”

  I turned around and looked into his bloodshot eyes. He looked so hung over that it was pathetic. “No, I’m going to my parents’ and spending the night there.”

  “Oh.” He nodded, looking a little disappointed. He grabbed me by the arm and made me sit down on the bed next to him. “Mia, will you please just talk to me? Look, I know you’re pissed and I’m sorry.”

  “No, Travis; I’m more hurt than pissed. Do you even realize how I felt last night? Between you getting drunk off your ass and acting like a complete jerk and Chloe having her private little powwows with you. But the best part of the night was when that girl kissed you right in front of me like it wasn’t a big deal. What hurts even more is I know that she’s done a lot more than kiss you before I met you. You go crazy if a guy even looks at me. So just imagine how I felt watching her kiss you.”

  He sighed and ran his hand through his hair. “I don’t know what to say, except I’m very sorry. I can’t change the past. But, you are my present and my future. I love you so much, Mia.”

  As much as I wanted to hug him at that particular moment, I refrained from doing so. I was still upset and wasn’t ready to let it go that easy. “Travis, I thought I could deal with your past and your ‘ladies’ man’ reputation, but after coming face to face with it last night, I’m having a really hard time with it.”

  “Mia, you are the only woman that I want to be with forever. Why the hell don’t you get that?” He raised his voice in frustration. He pulled me closer and took me off guard with his kiss. I could still taste the alcohol from last night on him.

  I broke free and pushed him away, taking him by surprise. “Stop, just stop!” I shouted. He looked like he was surprised by my rejection. My voice became a little softer. “Travis, I just need some time to think, okay?”

  His eyes widened and I could tell that he was starting to get a little panicked. “Mia, what are you saying? Think about what? Please tell me you’re not going to end this over one stupid mistake?”

  I shook my head. “I don’t know what I’m trying to say actually; my head is spinning right now. That’s why I just need some time alone. Please, Travis; will you just let me have that?”

  He stood up from the bed and nodded. I could see the pain in his eyes and it killed me to see him that way. “Just um… give me a call when you feel up to it.”

  “Okay,” I whispered. I looked away, no longer able to look at the sadness on his face. I waited until I heard my front door close before I buried my face into my pillow, allowing the tears that I had been holding in to flow freely.

  Chapter 29

  Mia…

  My mother and stepdad were waiting for me at the train station. My stepdad grabbed my bag as my mother threw her arms around me as if she hadn’t seen me in years. Travis and I had just been down last weekend to celebrate her “belated” Thanksgiving dinner as well as my stepdad’s birthday. “Mom, what would you do if I ever moved far away and you only saw me every few months?”

  “That will never happen; I won’t allow it,” she joked as she wrapped her arm around me and we walked to the car. We went out for an early dinner. My mom was off tomorrow and since it was Monday and I was off too, we made plans to do some Christmas shopping before I went home.

  The waitress had just brought the food out when my stepdad asked the question that suddenly made me lose my appetite. “Where’s Travis today?”

  I looked down at my pasta and shrugged my shoulders. “I don’t know,” I said as I finally looked up, seeing a look of alarm wash over both my mother’s and stepfather’s faces.

  “Oh, honey, is everything okay with you guys?” my mother asked.

  “I don’t know.” I bit my lip and looked down again. I told them about everything that had happened last night. I knew right away that my stepfather thought I was overreacting.

  “Mia, he’s a guy. Cut him some slack. So what if he got a little drunk?” he said in Travis’ defense.

  “Yes, I know and I could overlook that. It’s the women from his past that I’m having a hard time dealing with.”

  My mother shook her head as if she agreed with me. “Yes, I could see why that would upset you, but he couldn’t control her kissing him. It wasn’t like he went up to her and kissed her.” I looked at her with disapproval for not immediately taking my side like she always would.

  “I’m not saying you’re wrong. I’m just trying to be impartial,” she clarified.

  My stepdad had a worried look about it. He and Travis had bonded instantly and I think if we broke up it would probably kill him just as much as it did me.

  “Relax, Gary. We didn’t break up.”

  “Phew,” he said as he pretended to wipe sweat off his forehead.

  My mother playfully smacked him. “I raised my daughter right; if a man does her wrong, she calls him out on it.”

  I smiled. She was absolutely right and I was so grateful to her for instilling that value in me. I was so thankful
when the topic changed and there was no longer anymore mention of Travis’ name.

  We paid my sister and my nieces a quick visit before heading back to my parents’ house. My mother had started a lot of her Christmas baking already, but made sure that she held off on the thumbprint cookies until I was around. I had been helping her with the thumbprint cookies ever since I could remember and no matter how old I got, we didn’t break tradition.

  “Good night, girls. I have an early day tomorrow.” Gary came into the kitchen, giving us both a kiss goodnight.

  “Goodnight, Gary,” I said as I took a bite from the cookie that we had just taken out of the oven.

  He was halfway through the kitchen door when he turned around. “Hey, Mia, remember go easy on him.”

  I smiled and shook my head at him. “Good night, Gary,” I said again, acting as if I was ignoring his request.

  My mother and I finished up in the kitchen and brought a plateful of cookies and a cup of tea into the living room. We snuggled under a blanket together and watched TV, finally deciding on the classic movie channel.

  “And they lived happily ever after.” I giggled as the credits began to roll on the screen.

  “Well, what about you? Are you going to allow yourself to live happily ever after?” my mother asked.

  I leaned my head on her shoulder as she played with my hair. “I don’t know, Mom. I never had to worry about these things with Eric. I always knew where I stood with him.”

  “Oh, honey, you can’t compare this relationship with the one that you had with Eric. You and Eric were each other’s past; there was no one else. As you get older, you have to expect and accept each other’s past. Mia, you have to have enough faith in yourself and him and realize that maybe you really are all that he needs and wants. Look, I get that you’re angry with him for his behavior last night, but, Mia, everybody makes mistakes.”

  “I know, but it just hurt me so much to see that woman kissing him.”

  “Well of course it did. You love him; just remember that before you go making any rash decisions. Just remember he’s dealing with your past as well.”