Alchemy

by Camille Oster

  Niesen sighed. "There is trouble on the roads. We cannot guarantee your safety."

  "What do you mean trouble on the roads?"

  "One of the areas you have to travel through is problematic at the moment. Travel through specific districts has been restricted until the lawlessness has been dealt with. A gang of highwaymen is plaguing the area, robbing anyone who passes." Niesen pursed his lips. "Raufasger's guard is dealing with it. It shouldn't take long."

  "What area?"

  "None of your concern, Lady Greve. Raufasger can deal with his business sufficiently well."

  "My estate and family are there. If there is a threat, I need to know."

  "It is well contained, and the problem is being seen to, Lady Greve. I am assuming, of course, that your estate is in some way defended."

  "Of course." She didn't like the tone he used.

  Lorcan had mentioned something about Raufasger not being in the citadel. This must have been what he was tending to. Whatever leaders he would find for this gang, they would suffer heinously. Some said that Raufasger had mellowed slightly in recent years, that he wasn't quite so indiscriminate in who he meted out his retribution to.

  *

  Raufasger's absence gave them a couple of days without any planned activities, but that ended the day he returned, when a notice of a ball was sent out. The problem of lawlessness must have been dealt with.

  Taking a breath, Ashra prepared herself for a moment before nodding to the pages manning the entrance to the ballroom. The door swept open to a brightly lit room contrasting from the darkness of the halls she had just walked through. She wore a deep blue silk gown that night, which was surprisingly light. The circus of this court was on display in front of her, it ground on endlessly and she was very much a part of it.

  Did Raufasger's return mean it was clear to travel now? She would send a note to Niesen Woord in the morning to ask.

  Women swept over the dance floor with flaring skirts, the men were neatly dressed in equally luxurious materials. Everywhere she looked, there were color and sparkle. An ice sculpture of a soaring bird sat on a table laden with food. Pleasant tunes emanated from the musicians playing on a raised platform as drinks were passed around on trays.

  Ashra took a moment to note who was speaking to whom, surveying the lay of the land. Primarily, she sought to establish where Lorcan was—the principle threat. In a way, his tactics of telling her exactly what he was going to do were intended to appease her, to quell her wariness, and it did work. She was nowhere near so worried now as his strategy was dependent on him achieving the insurmountable prospect of developing emotions strong enough to stir pity in her. Well, she didn't pity so easily. Actually, that was probably not true as she'd felt real pity for Amethyst when it had come down to it.

  Lorcan looked away from the group he was speaking to and she immediately felt the force of his eyes. I've been waiting for you, his eyes said. Unfortunately, there was something compelling in being so prominent in someone's mind. That, in itself, was some kind of bond, a common understanding. She could, after all, read his thoughts by a mere look.

  Alright, maybe she was in a bit of trouble here. Not enough to give up her children's safety, but there was an attraction there. There were some very attractive qualities to him, but then there always were with predators. Their beauty and intensity mesmerized, didn't it?

  Breaking away from the group, he walked toward her and she felt her nerves twinge. What was it he saw when he looked at her? It certainly wasn't love. She was a challenge and probably nothing more. Still, this game had its own degrees of excitement. Denying him had its rewards and she enjoyed seeing him take the reversal to seek another way. Persistence was perhaps his greatest quality. If he did actually develop some emotions, she'd be in trouble. He had enough of her attention now as it was.

  "Care to dance?" he asked with a measured bow.

  "Not sure my constitution would agree to being swung around at the moment."

  "Everyone watching will be so disappointed."

  Ashra looked around and just about everyone was slyly watching them. Annoyance flared in her. They had all made their bets, no doubt. "Perhaps I will," she conceded, just to inform their audience that she was not wilting under their attention.

  "Excellent," he said and held his hand out.

  Perhaps this had been a kneejerk reaction on her part. Now she actually had to dance with him and the materiality of it sunk home as his hand settled on her lower back, her hand placing on his shoulder. It was an innocent touch, but it never felt that way with him. She needed to get her mind away from the touch.

  "How are your emotions coming along? The deal with love, in particular, is that you have to put the other person's interest ahead of your own. While I can see that you bank on that occurring for me, but by your strategy, those needs occur for you, too. Might cause some dilemmas if you are then compelled to put other interests ahead of your own. It could even defeat the entire strategy."

  "Are you assuming my opinion of myself will always be low enough to concede that your best interests would be away from me?"

  "We both know that they are. In marrying you, I would hand over every bit of power I have. You would have complete control over both me and my children. Do you think I can ever trust you so much?"

  His hand was still warm on the small of her back as he swung her around the dance floor. Right now, he was leading, taking her wherever he wanted and she was compelled to follow. With Torunn, she had trusted him implicitly, but it hadn't been completely returned, as it had turned out. "Torunn always sought to protect me from the realities of his existence. I might even have lost him because of it."

  "Would you grieve if you lost me?"

  There he went, placing little images in her mind of them together, her the sorrowful bride, mourning her lost lover. "It is not an experience I wish to repeat."

  "But neither would you undo it if you had a choice," he said.

  "No."

  Lorcan raised his head slightly as if studying her. "Then if everything that preceded it was worth it, how can you say it is not worth doing it again? It means you feel the rewards are worth the risk, the loss itself, even."

  Ashra looked away because she didn't want to answer the question.

  "Perhaps it is the other way around," he continued. "It is the dying being loved that is worth all the costs. Is dying never having been loved not a bigger travesty?"

  "But for you, the travesty would be dying without having won."

  "Some would say we are talking about the same thing."

  "We are absolutely not talking about the same thing. The very first time I spoke to you, you said quite clearly that you were going to take my land. Your objectives haven't changed, only your strategy."

  He smiled. "I did, didn't I?"

  "The most dangerous part about you, Lord Lorcan, is that you have no ability to determine when the price is too high. You must win at all costs, and although your strategy is brilliant, I grant you, the price you have set for yourself might just be your undoing. You will have to trust me implicitly, and you have never in your life trusted anyone. History has proven that if you can't, bad things happen."

  Chapter 15

  A note arrived from Lorcan the next morning. Ashra could tell by the red wax seal and she wasn't sure she wanted to open it. The previous night, she had managed to talk herself into realizing what a bad idea Lorcan's pursuit of her was. Part of her was dying to know what he now said in this letter. Did he agree, acquiesce that this was all a very bad idea. Or was this some counterargument he had contrived?

  Cracking the seal open, she took the letter over to the window where the light was brightest. The parchment was stiff and smooth.

  Come with me to Tondoke, it said. I have a gift for you.

  Why would I want this gift, she thought.

  Because I have gone to considerable trouble, the next line said as if he had fully anticipated her reaction, and it would be something you can
remember me by if I die before ever achieving my goal of your love. And if me dying without love is not enough to sway you, there is also a toymaker that can make any return home more exciting.

  Ashra smiled. Melodrama really didn't suit him.

  A knock on the door startled her. She wasn't expecting anyone at this hour and now had the suspicion that Lorcan had followed this letter, maybe even delivered it in person.

  She was right. He stood there, wearing his heavier jacket. "Come on. Daylight is burning."

  "I have not said I'd come."

  "It would be rude not to. I've planned the whole day. It is the least you can do after so clearly spelling out my doom last night if I pursue this foolhardy venture I am apparently incapable of pursuing in the first place. You're a rather confusing person, Lady Greve."

  He walked into her apartments, again invading her space. He turned. "Or we could spend the day here—quietly and unobserved."

  "Perhaps I do not wish to spend the day with you in any respect, Lord Lorcan."

  "As you were also instrumental in making my time amongst the ladies of the court very uncomfortable, I am now beseeching your protection."

  Ashra raised an eyebrow at his glibness.

  Obviously, he could tell she wasn’t buying his need for protection, from her or anyone else. "The more I am seen with you, the less chance they think they have, and are more likely to leave me alone. Obviously, they don't quite see the impediments to our marriage the way you do." He looked at her and smiled. "Physically removing me would cause such a scandal."

  Aggravation stirred inside her. "You're completely bullying me."

  "Which apparently has absolutely no effect on how you feel about me, so get your coat. I'll get it." He went to walk toward her bedroom.

  "No," she said, grabbing his arm. "I'll get it."

  For some reason, she really didn't want Lorcan in her bedroom. Even though she had visited him in his, she did not want to return the exploit. He really was coercing her. Calling the guards to have him removed would cause scandal and she would be dealing with that for who knew how long. Staying here with him had perils, because she knew his aim would be toward the bedroom. Going with him was the easiest and safest option.

  Well played, Lorcan, she had to concede. Granted, a day out of the citadel had a certain appeal. Tondoke was a nearby township some hours ride away, a place that used to be important in the olden days, the center of power and administrative function. All that had been stripped and it now served the citadel with artisans.

  Ashra grabbed her coat, feeling a little overwhelmed. Through ties of manners, scandal avoidance and risk minimization, Lorcan had her tied up in knots exactly like she had done to him not so long ago. But for her, the cost was a day's outing, as opposed to thwarting his entire plans.

  One of his sleek carriages was waiting outside in the courtyard below her apartments. Its black body shone with wax and the four horses all matched. The springs gave as he helped her into it, the interior pale yellow silk. It was a beautiful carriage, but then Lorcan tended to have beautiful things.

  The carriage set off as soon as he was seated and they were closed inside the space, protected from the elements outside. A gray and windy day, like most were. There was always a certain excitement about getting away from the citadel.

  "I have toys somewhere on my estate," he said after a while. "I don't know where, but I do remember them. My son should have them."

  "It is just as likely to be a girl."

  "Then my daughter should have them. I have been thinking a great deal about my family of late," he admitted, speaking quietly, his gaze still out the window. He remained silent after this. It brought to mind her own. Like his parents, hers had passed during the war that had brought Raufasger to power. So many people had died that when the war ended and Raufasger was no longer challenged in his ambition, the remaining had simply wanted an end to the bloodshed.

  They spoke little on the journey to Tondoke and Ashra was grateful. Sparring with him took so much energy and she wasn't sure she could manage a whole day of it.

  "I tire in the afternoons," she stated, her voice sounding loud after the long period of silence. He turned his attention to her. "Just so you are aware."

  He nodded.

  The roads this close to the citadel were well maintained. There were also no highwaymen to hinder them and they arrived safely in the town. It had been a long time since she'd visited it—well before it had been subdued by Raufasger’s might. It looked the same, though, strewn houses with little shops underneath. The center of the town was muddy and an old well sat in the middle of the square.

  People watched them as they passed, walking toward this toyshop and whatever gift Lorcan had intended for her. A bright storefront displayed toys carved in wood. There were dolls and animals, carts and buildings. Some of them were very clever with moving parts. This was good quality work. A small bell tinkled when they stepped inside and an older man appeared from the back.

  Ashra perused the shelves and found a farmyard set that she decided to purchase. Lorcan indicated a castle carved in wood. "My driver will come pick it up."

  "Thank you, my lord," the man said with a deep bow.

  "And this set," she said. "I will pay now. How much?"

  He said a sum and Ashra felt it was cheap for the quality of the work, so she paid a bit more. The man's hand shook a little as he accepted the coins. Now that she was close, she could see that his clothes were so thin in areas; they were almost see-through at the elbows. Clearly, his shirt was old. And he was gaunt.

  They left the shop and walked a little further down the street. Children stared at them as if they were the strangest sight they had ever seen. Some of them were neatly dressed, but also in old and worn clothes, a few had little more than rags on and they were all thin. No one spoke to them, almost a little fearful, it seemed.

  Now that she looked around her, everyone was thin. "These people are hungry," she said. In fact, there was no smell of food anywhere.

  "You," Lorcan said to a fearful boy, perhaps a little too harshly because the boy shook like a leaf.

  "Don't be afraid," Ashra said and the boy reticently approached, eyeing the beading on her reticule. Ashra picked out a coin and the boy stared at it.

  "What are you eating?" Lorcan asked. "What did you eat today?"

  "Soup," the boy said and blinked.

  "And bread?" Lorcan queried.

  "On Sundays."

  Ashra gave the boy the coin and he ran off as quickly as his legs could carry him. "These people are starving," Ashra said.

  "There are spies here," Lorcan said quietly. "Let's return to the carriage."

  They walked back to the carriage, but only saw the driver in the square. Lorcan spoke to him before returning. "The horses are being watered. They are stabled over there. The driver has gone to collect our packages."

  It started to rain and Lorcan urged her toward the stable building and through the large wooden doors bleached with years of sun and weather. They opened them slightly and slipped inside. It smelled of hay and horses. The entire carriage was inside and the horses had been unstrapped and taken into stalls further down. There was no one else around.

  "These people are eating bread once a week," Ashra said, still stunned with what she'd learnt.

  "None of the farmland around here belongs to the town. Some of the merchants are wealthy."

  "Some of them are not. The toymaker certainly didn’t look like he was thriving by the state of his clothes. Is Raufasger aware of the state of things here?" she asked.

  He made a soft shushing noise and shook his head, not trusting that their conversation was private even here in a stable.

  "They're starving," she said quietly, searching his eyes. Could it be that Raufasger didn't have the grain to feed them, or was he purposely starving them? Was this how he quelled rebellion, starving people into weakness? No wonder there were highwaymen on the roads. "We have to do something."

&n
bsp; Lorcan bit his lips together and exhaled. "We cannot challenge Raufasger," he said barely louder than a whisper. "You know exactly how he will react."

  "Is the whole kingdom like this? Every village starved into submission?"

  Lorcan shrugged. "I don’t know the history here. It could be that Raufasger is punishing them especially. Also, this town is particularly disadvantaged because it has no farming community attached. They're all artists." He looked her in the eye for a moment. "And there is a lack of people farming the lands. We tend to take whatever labor we need and Raufasger recruits any able-bodied for his guardsmen. Sickness has set in in some areas, from what I hear."

  "Which isn’t surprising if the people are malnourished. What of all the grain we produce? Peace has held for a while now. There shouldn’t be much unproductive land."

  "Traditionally, the crown is responsible for the people not attached to our estates and he distributes his grain as he sees fit. Perhaps there are problems with the crown lands that we aren’t told about. Or he is valuing the profit from selling it more than sharing it.”

  “That’s despicable.”

  “Remember who we are talking about.”

  “There must be something we could do.”

  Lorcan looked pensive. “We could perhaps circumvent things by delivering some grain directly from our respective stores, simply add a bit to the town larder."

  "Yes," Ashra said with hope. They had to do something. It was in their power to make a considerable difference to these people. Her conscience would allow nothing less.

  "Any such action will, of course, bear risks. Raufasger will not be pleased if he finds out we are circumventing his procedures."

  "His procedures are starving these people."