by Chelle Bliss
My phone danced across the wooden surface. Don’t pick it up. I couldn’t do it. I wanted to see if I could break free of him – quit cold turkey like a junkie? I had to try to put distance between us, I’d only known him a week but he invaded my life.
Flipping through the channels, I stopped on a show about a group of bikers. I’d heard about the show but never found interest in it until now. I couldn’t bring myself to turn it off. Every man on the screen reminded me of him. The roar of the engines made my heart flutter and my stomach hurt. Curling on my side, I hugged the pillow as tears poured out, plopping on the material. I wanted to feel the wind in my hair and my arms wrapped around his body again but it could never happen again. My eyes burned as I gave in and drifted off to the sound roaring engines.
I woke to a couple messages from City wishing me good morning and asking when I could see him again. Leaving my phone on my nightstand I made a glass of tea and sat on my front step sipping the warm cinnamon liquid. The neighborhood was quite as a few couples walked down the sidewalks and children played in the front yard down the street. I stared at the sun shimmering off the wet grass and thought about him. I couldn’t sit here all day and think about him. I had to find something to do today to keep my mind off him and move toward my future.
I needed a shower, had to wash his scent off of me and start my day. No more wallowing in self-pity and the whirlwind that I lived for the last week. I grabbed my phone off the nightstand but there were no new messages from City. Maybe he got the hint after I didn’t send him a good morning text.
The ringing of my phone made me jump as I waited for the water to warm. Walking to the phone slowly and peeking at the screen relief floods me as I see that it’s Derek and not City.
“Hey,” I said, as I stood there naked staring in the mirror as the fog blurred my reflection.
“Hi, Suzy. What are you doing later?” Derek had a deep voice but it didn’t give half the effect on me that City’s voice did.
“Not much, just about to jump in the shower. What’s up?”
His sharp intake of air made it evident that he had just pictured me naked. “I wanted to know if you wanted to go to dinner tonight and maybe play some mini-golf. Do you want to go with me?”
“Oh, well...” I gnawed on my thumbnail and debated a date with Derek. He worked on paper and we ran in the same circles. Our worlds were similar and we could relate to each other. Maybe he was the path that I needed to follow or at least he’d help keep my mind off City.
“Come on, Suzy. We’ll have fun. What do you say?” His voice was hopeful. Couldn’t blame a guy for being persistent – he’d never taken no for an answer.
“Okay, Derek.” I ran my hands down the bare skin between my breasts, loving the feel of the softness. I instantly felt like crap for saying yes when all I wanted to do was run to City.
“It’s a date. I’ll pick you up at six.”
“See you at six.”
“Great. I can’t wait to see you tonight. Bye for now, Suzy.”
“Bye, Derek.” I heard him celebrating his victory before the line went dead.
I stood in the shower and daydreamed about City before touching myself, relieving the ache between my legs. The orgasm wasn’t as satisfying as I had hoped. It dulled the need I felt for City. I craved the earth shattering orgasm I felt under his deft fingertips but I couldn’t let my sexual desire cloud my judgment.
City sent me two more text messages before Derek picked me up for dinner. I ignored the urge to reply and finished my makeup, smacking my red lipstick together before running the brush through my hair one last time. The tight, black miniskirt and yellow tank top helped show off my fading tan. Soon the winter cold and weakened sun would cause my skin to return to its almost ghostly shade of white. Grabbing my strappy black stilettos out of the closet I thought of that last time I wore them – the night City rode into my life. I put my favorite Reef sandals in my purse for later when my feet ached and we played mini-golf.
The chime of the doorbell snapped me out of my memories of the first night in City’s bed. Opening the door, I took in the sight of Derek in a pair of khaki dress pants and crisp white linen shirt with his toes peeking out from the fabric around his feet. His smile beamed as he eyes roamed my body taking in my outfit before stopping on my breasts. He licked his lips before his settled on my face with a goofy smile.
“Wow, you look sexy, Suzy.” His nostrils flared as his gaze drifted down my body again.
The way he looked at me made my skin crawl. “Thanks, you look great too.” He did look nice, but not heart stopping or panty dropping.
He held out his hand to me. “Ready?” he asked.
I placed my fingers against his smooth palm “Yeah,” I said, although I was anything but.
Derek opened the door to his beat-up Nissan Altima, waiting for me to climb in before he kissed my hand and slamming the door.
I sighed as I watched him walk around the car, a brilliant and victorious smile on his face. “God, this is a horrible idea,” I mumbled to myself as he opened the door and climbed in.
“What did you say?” he asked as he climbed in, closing the door, and looked at me.
“Just saying how hungry I am. Where are we eating?”
He brushed the hair off my shoulder, gliding his fingertips across my skin, lingering longer than felt comfortable. My body involuntarily moved away from his touch. “Sorry,” he said as he turned away and gripped the steering wheel, his knuckles whitening from his firm grasp. “We’re going to Paesano’s for some Italian, if that’s okay with you?”
“Sounds great.”
I stared out the window watching the trees pass by as Derek chattered about work. I looked forward to my weekends and escaping the stress and my job, but that’s all Derek wanted to talk about. I listened to his words and answered when asked a question, but he already bored me. Thankful that the drive to the restaurant wasn’t long I climbed out of the car as Derek jogged to me and grabbed my arm, hooking them together.
The conversation during dinner was stagnant. We didn’t have much in common besides work. It became evident as he talked about video games. My idea of a great night did not involve playing a mindless game on the television. When the food finally arrived I found myself thankful for the silence as he shoveled the food in his mouth without care. He ate like a pig, with sauce from his pasta dribbling on his chin and resting at the corners of his mouth. I moved the food around on my plate trying not to stare.
“You want to go for some drinks after here or you want to go to mini-golf?” He asked with a full mouth, a small piece of pasta falling in his lap.
Why the hell did I think this was a good idea? “Drinks sound great.” I prayed that a few drinks would make him interesting and have the evening end on a high note.
We skipped dessert and headed to Club Karma for drinks. The club opened a couple months ago but I hadn’t stepped foot inside. It had a big city feel and not like the typical small town hangouts. The walls were blood red decorated with black and white photos of couples in various sexual positions and undress. Colorful lights bounced off the shiny black tile floor as dancers moved their body against each other. There were small seating areas with couches filled with couples laughing and touching and a large bar on the opposite side of the entrance.
“Drink first?” Derek asked. I shook my head and looked around as he guided me through the overcrowded space. Derek rested his body against the bar, his arm touching my skin. “You want to dance?” he shouted in my ear above the music.
I shook my head and waited for the bartender to come in our direction. A large mirror hung above the liquor bottles on the wall behind the serving area. Watching people dance with such erotic and methodical moves made me think of City and our dance last weekend. I never felt sexy on the dance floor, but with him I had been able to feel the music instead of thinking of my next move.
I ordered a martini, wanting the alcohol over a virgin daiquiri, needing to for
get City and find a way to make Derek more palatable. His arm brushed against my back, as he rested his hand on the bar, effectively trapping me. I ignored him, staring into the mirror as the bartender placed my drink on the bar.
I took a sip, testing the sweetness of the raspberry martini. This whole night had been a bad idea. I knew it from the moment I accepted his invitation to dinner. I wouldn’t have said yes to him if I weren’t trying to forget the tall, muscular Italian man.
“Suzy,” Derek whispered in my ear further invading my personal space.
“What?” I said into the glass still pressed against my lips.
“Drink up, babe, because I can’t wait to get you out there.” Derek bobbed his head like a character in a skit from Saturday Night Live. I could see his reflection in the mirror and my cheeks felt heated at the thought of someone seeing me with him.
“Uh huh.” I didn’t turn to look at him but kept my eyes on the scene in the mirror like I was watching a television show. I’d find a way to stall. I couldn’t go on to the dance floor with him. No way in hell would that happen. He didn’t have the ability to make me dance like City had, but his awkward movements would only draw more awareness to us when all I wanted to do was blend in.
His fingers touched the skin of my arms and hand as I fought every urge to kick him in the balls. He rambled on about his clubbing days in college and how he mastered the dance floor and people would stop to watch him ‘bust a move’. Almost spitting my drink out, I broke out into laughter with tears forming in my eyes. I could imagine the scene. Derek thought people stopped to admire his ability when in actuality they were stunned or entertained beyond belief.
“What’s so funny?” His lips were turned into a frown as he moved his head away from mine and stared at me.
“Oh, nothing Derek. Just something I remembered from college.” God, I had always been a shitty liar, but I didn’t want to hurt his feelings. The man had confidence and who am I to kill it.
“Ah, okay. I thought you were laughing at me.” He shrugged before sipping his beer and wiping his lips on his shoulder. “Come on, just one dance,” he begged and released me from my human cage.
I sloshed the pink liquid in my glass, now half drained, and lifted it to my lips. I owed him at least one dance for his efforts. I swallowed the last mouthful and placed it on the bar. “Just one.”
His eyes lit up as he grabbed my hand and pulled me toward the writhing bodies in the middle of the room. The beat of the music made me unable to feel my pulse even though I knew it had to be hammering. I wanted to throw up at the thought of anyone watching me make an ass out of myself. Just as we reached the spot that Derek wanted, dead center, the DJ switched songs. Fuck, why me? A sad, slow melody filled the air as Derek pulled me into an embrace. I’d rather make a complete asshole out of myself with a wicked beat that didn’t require touching.
“Perfect,” he said, wrapping his arms around me with his hands resting a little too close to my ass.
Placing my hands on his shoulders, I tried to keep some distance between us, but Derek didn’t get the hint. His body felt nothing like City’s, there was no hardness to it. Derek’s hands roamed my back as he swayed our bodies side to side to the music as I gave in, letting him control our movement. He didn’t speak as he moved us back and forth to the beat. Time passed slowly and I felt like I had been wrapped in his arms for hours with an escape.
When the song ended Derek broke the embrace and backed up to look at me. He gave me a silly grin, “Thank you.”
“For what?” I yelled as the music began to thump through the speakers.
“The dance, Suzy. I loved having you in my arms,” he said, as he reached for my hand and kissed the top.
“You’re a sweet guy, Derek.” I blushed. He wasn’t a bad guy – he just wasn’t City.
“Another drink?”
“If I didn’t know any better, Derek, I’d think you’re trying to get me drunk.”
He smiled, his face turning pink as he pushed on my back and led me off the dance floor. “Can’t blame a guy for trying.”
We passed a set of couches and something drew my attention. There before me was a woman in a skin tight barely there dress with red stiletto heels and long brown hair. The woman didn’t draw my attention but the man’s lap she sat on, City. He didn’t notice me as he talked to her, giving her his total attention. His hand rested on her ass as she nibbled on his lips. I wanted to throw up. He didn’t seem to have a problem forgetting me.
Bile rose in my throat at the sight of the two of them together. I’d spent the entire day trying to forget him without success but he had moved on to someone else. “I’ll take you up on that offer, Derek.” No longer able to watch City with another woman, I walked to the bar with Derek right behind me. Derek only had eyes for me tonight and the smile on his face made it clear that I had made him happy with my response.
Even though I had been the one that ignored him, it still stung to see him enjoying the company of another woman. “What’ll it be, sweetheart?” The bartender asked me as she leaned against the bar with a smile in her Euphoria tank top.
“Shot of anything sweet and another raspberry martini, please.”
“I’ll have another Miller,” Derek said before she walked away. “A shot, huh?”
“It’s Saturday night and I could use a little something stronger.”
“I didn’t know you were a drinker, Suzy.” He grabbed our drinks, pushing mine in front of me before throwing down a twenty for the bartender.
“I’m not, but what the hell. Why not?” I shrugged before picking up the shot and smelling it. Raspberry something or other but I wasn’t quite sure. It would do the job and help dull the pang of jealousy I felt from seeing him with the girl in red. “To life and love,” I said, raising my glass before swallowing the sweet concoction.
Derek tipped his beer in my direction and watched me as he raised it to his lips. “Why aren’t you taken?” he asked from behind the brown bottle.
I shrugged. “Looking for the right one.” The martini sloshed the glass as I brought it to my lips too quick. One drink and a shot and I didn’t give a fuck that some of it splashed on my breasts. Tears stung my eyes as I gulped the martini and hoped that it put my brain in a temporary haze. The feel of a hand touching my breast caused me to jerk sending the last bit of raspberry heaven to the floor. “What the fuck?” I said looking down to see Derek’s hand move away from my breast.
“Sorry,” he grinned. “Just thought I’d help you with that little spill.” He sucked on his fingers as he stared at my chest.
My lips snarled as I put my face close to his, “No matter how drunk I am, you don’t touch me without asking. Am I clear?”
“Yes, ma’am,” he said, raising his hand to salute me.
What a cocksucker. Poking him in the chest I spoke very slowly. “I mean it, smart ass. Do. Not. Touch. Me.” I paused after each word making sure he understood. Turning away, I looked in the mirror and saw the red dress still sitting on City’s lap and my fingernails dug into the wooden bar.
“Okay, Suzy. Let me make it up to you since I made you spill your drink. Let me buy you another?”
I closed my eyes, rubbing the bridge of my nose, before turning my attention back to Derek. “I don’t think so, Derek. Will you just take me home?”
“One more, Suzy. I swear I’ll keep my hands to myself. I don’t want the night to end like this. Please.”
I studied his face and he looked genuine with a sad smile and pleading eyes. I held up my index finger to him. “One more and then I want to go.”
“Excellent.” He raised his hand in the air and snapped his fingers, grabbing the attention of the bartender.
Leaning against the bar, my eyes kept wandering back to the mirror. The third martini was easier to drink and my legs felt weak and the bar became necessary to keep me from tipping over. Derek chattered in my ear and kept his distance as we polished off the third drink.
�
�Ready?” he asked as he set the empty bottle on the counter.
“Are you okay to drive?” I asked. I may be drunk but I knew enough to ask.
“Yeah, I can handle more than three beers, babe.”
Hearing the word “babe” come out his mouth when he spoke made me want to throw up on his shoes. Everything about him made me crazy and I knew that I’d never go on another date with Derek. On paper he seemed right, but in person he was a creepy mess that revolted me and did nothing to my libido.
“Okay, let’s go.” I grabbed my purse and walked on unsteady legs toward the door leaving Derek to walk behind me.
“You want to hold my hand?”
“Why?” I stopped and turned to face him, almost falling over. I had too much to drink didn’t realize it until now.
“Because you’re walking funny. Just hold on to my arm until we get to the car.” He held out his hand and waited for me to take it.
He didn’t grin or smile and I believed he was sincere in his offer. Clearly the alcohol had made my brain fuzzy. I didn’t hold his hand but snaked my arm through his and leaned on his body as I swayed through the parking lot thankful when we made it to his car.
Leaning against the car, I waited for him to open the door. I closed my eyes and soaking in the feel of the cool air against my warm clammy skin. The air inside the club had felt stagnant. My anger and hurt over City made my body feel flushed and caused me to sweat. I had done this. I pushed City away. I had been an idiot and I knew it when I saw him with her in his arms.
Derek’s lips were on mine before I could react. I pushed at him, hitting his chest as he trapped me between him and the car. My arms felt like jelly and I couldn’t gage how hard I was hitting him as the beat of my heart filled my ears. “Stop,” I mumbled between breaks in the kiss, but he didn’t stop crushing his body against mine harder. His lips moved over my cheek to my neck as he grabbed my breast and squeezed. “Derek, stop, damn it!” I yelled, hitting him in the ribs.