A Frosty Mug of Murder (The Grumpy Chicken Irish Pub Series Book 1)

by Constance Barker

  The Sheriff shoved Robert in the direction of the cruiser out front. “Humble to the end I see. Well, tell it to your lawyer. I don’t care.” Sheriff Morrison and Deputy Wise then carted both of the bound men to the police car and I followed at a distance.

  Edith and Lily came sauntering across a side yard towards the cruiser yelling 'Shoo' at the cats the whole way. I met them on the front lawn not far from the cruiser and Edith asked, “Deary, what happened? We saw Robert and a stranger being put in the police car.”

  I shrugged, “To be honest, I’m not completely sure. Weren’t you supposed to be directing traffic?”

  Lily snorted. “Guardrail thinks he’s the big boss of the world. When there was no traffic for him to lord over, he quit and left the detour business to us so he could go see what he might do to help the police.”

  “I guess you ladies did a good job. The road is still empty.” I scanned Main Street as I spoke.

  Edith jumped in, pointing her wrinkled finger down the road. “The strip on Main Street back there is closed for the fair. Everyone is using River Road today anyway, so we didn’t have much to do.”

  I smiled, “Small town life does have some benefits.”

  At that point, the Sheriff came back over to me and was scowling. “After this all settles down, we need to have a talk missy.”

  “Anytime. But is it going to really be a talk, or a scolding?”

  He looked at me fatherly, through the brim of his hat. “A little of both, but first I need to pin down all the details of what happened here. And against all of my warnings, you still somehow managed to inject yourself into this. Which means I now have to debrief you.”

  “I’ll help anyway I can. It’s what we do in Potter's Mill.”

  “I guess it is. But I can’t stress this point enough, not if it puts you in danger or interferes with police business. Remember that next time, please.” The Sheriff smiled, just a little. Then the smile disappeared and he turned to scowl at Guardrail. “If you ever mess with official police work again, I will arrest you.”

  Guardrail made his best attempt to look innocent. “Who me? I was just stretching out. The dude ran into my arm. I stayed behind the tree and out of the way like you asked.”

  “Don’t get smart with me.” The Sheriff eyed him for a moment, then added, “But thanks, I wasn’t in the mood for a foot chase.”

  Dog Breath had appeared, seemingly from nowhere, and added, “I don’t usually worry about Guardrail being smart myself.” The Sheriff silenced Dog with a single look.

  Aunt Mae made her way over to us with Amber and Elias in tow. Elias was helping Amber walk and she now held a bag of frozen peas to her swollen eye. My aunt asked me, “Are you alright? I told you to stay in the car.”

  “I know. But there was so much shouting and commotion.” I paused. “You know, I can honestly tell you I learned that I’m not as brave as I thought. And you showed me that there is training and skill involved in dealing with dangerous suspects and situations.”

  “Wow. That actually, maybe coulda might sound like you did learn something. Bread me and fry me in batter.” She smiled, just a little, and I was glad to see the Aunt Mae I knew once again. It was then I discerned how stressful this murder investigation actually was for Aunt Mae and the Sheriff.

  Mae smiled at me and asked, “Can you wait with Amber and Elias? I called for an ambulance to attend to her injuries.” She then headed over to the cruiser to finish her official business.

  I put my arm around Amber to hold her and offer comfort. She was crying and I knew it wasn’t because of the injuries suffered from the blow to her head. I offered, “You poor thing. Mae called for an ambulance. We’ll get you looked at and patched up like new.”

  “My eye is fine. It’ll heal. It’s my heart that is aching. How could he do such a terrible thing?” Amber sniffled while she talked.

  I looked at her a second. “I have no idea how to answer that, Amber. But you’re my friend and I am here to help you. With anything you need.”

  “Why? No one cares about me.”

  “You showed me kindness when I came out here to talk to you, even though you didn’t have to. You trusted me like a true small town local. And we take care of our own. No one should have to endure something like this alone and I want to help one of my friends.”

  “Wow. I haven’t had a friend in a long time. Isn’t that pathetic?” She wiped some tears from her eyes.

  I smiled back at her. “Well, to be honest, that is kind of sad. But your friend drought is over and you now have more friends then you know. We’ll help you get through this with anything you need.”

  She sobbed a little and squeezed my hand on her shoulder. “Thanks. But the first thing I need to do is understand how my father could do something this awful. And what am I going to do without him?”

  I had no real answer but tried. “That may take you some time to figure out. But don’t worry about that, you’re strong and smart and will get through it.”

  Elias, who had been uncharacteristically quiet, spoke. “You can stay here as long as necessary, Amber.” We both looked back at him like we were seeing the grumpy chicken itself.

  I regained control and closed my mouth that hung open in astonishment. “Thanks.” I meant to say more to him, but it’s all that came out. At that point, the ambulance arrived and I helped them get in. Then the paramedics took Elias and Amber to the medical center in the next town over.

  I stood on the lawn with a sense of relief mixed with dismay. The murder was solved, sure, but I was starting to see just how much Elias and Amber would need us now. Their lives would never be the same. I had no idea what would be necessary, but promised myself that we would be there for them.

  Mae came back over to me as the Sheriff and Deputy Wise drove off in the cruiser with the prisoners. She said, “I need to get back to the station and file reports. Kelly asked me to bring his car back for him. We need to get another cruiser for this town. It’s not right how much we use Kelly’s own car. Hey, sweetie, you want a ride home before I go back to the station? “

  “No. I think I can use a nice long walk about now. To clear my head.”

  She smiled at me. “It’s overwhelming, isn’t it?” She saw the confusion on my face, so Aunt Mae continued. “The mix of feelings. I’ve solved a few crimes in my years. And it is always surprising how emotions still swirl inside me afterwards.”

  I sighed. “I had no idea how overwhelming and exhausting solving crime is until now.”

  “Well said, honey. Now don’t ever forget that and stick to the pub business!” She hugged me tight.

  I spoke into her shoulder. “I don’t know. I think I did pretty good?”

  “Don’t even tease me about it. I don’t want you messing with police business ever again. It’s too dangerous.”

  “Hmm. Where have I heard that before?”

  “Don’t sass me. I’m your loving Aunt, but I can still tan your hide if you get out of line.”

  “I don’t doubt that for a moment, Auntie. I saw you in action today. But, like I said earlier, I learned a lot going through all of this. I just want to get back to my business, worrying about normal stuff.”

  Mae chuckled, “I’ve been to The Grumpy Chicken. remember? I know there is nothing normal about that place.”

  “It is to me. I am understanding that more every day!” I smiled and, for the first time in days, I felt a hint of happiness.

  Chapter Nineteen

  The pub was full to capacity and the atmosphere was happy for the first time in days, almost celebratory with news of an arrest in the Holland murder investigation. Everyone seemed to have their own story of how they helped figure it out or capture the suspects. But I knew most were fabricated tall tales since I found the body and witnessed the take down of the culprits.

  I sat at a table with Aunt Mae and the Sheriff and we enjoyed a cold beer together. I asked the Sheriff, “So how much trouble am I in?”

  The Sherif
f sat up straight and his voice got a little deeper. “We’ll talk about that later. But let’s just say you’re lucky that plane ticket tip was spot on. We almost let him slip out of the country.”

  Mae added, “Yeah, but we couldn’t arrest him right off because he had an alibi for the time of the murder. He was seen by multiple people all over town and he had receipts that checked out on his credit cards. It all seems obvious now that we know he didn’t actually choke her to death. But he certainly made the arrangements to have his partner do it for him. And all over some money.”

  The Sheriff eyed Mae and said, “We should have held Robert and never released him. I know we discussed it and did the right thing letting him go home that night since we had no hard evidence. But both of us knew there was something off about him.”

  Mae replied, “I know, but we had no idea he had a partner. And poor Amber. She was so worried about Donna, ‘The Black Widow,’ killing her father. Only now she has to deal with the fact her father had Donna murdered for inheritance. It’s so bizarre, and sad for Amber.”

  She was right on all accounts, but it was a downer. I tried to end the self wallowing. “Well it all worked out and you got your man.”

  Sheriff Morrison produced a rare smile. “Yeah we did. And thanks for your help. But if you do it again ...”

  I rose holding my palm at him to stop. “I know. I know. Make sure to use your small cuffs when you arrest me, I have small wrists.” I smiled at him. “I need to get back to work. See ya around.” I said goodbye and rose to make the rounds.

  I spotted Dog talking breathlessly. I couldn’t hear him very well, but I was sure he was bragging. As hard as it is for me to believe, Dog Breath was telling, and retelling, one of his gonzo stories that was actually true. I had to give it to him, Dog threw out the idea of a hit man early. And pigs must be flying now because it turned out he was, technically, right.

  Robert orchestrated the crime and the actual murderer was paid by him to commit the deed. We argued about whether Dominic, Robert’s partner, was a real hit man. And the Sheriff was consulted to settle the argument. He even looked up the definition of hit man in an online dictionary. Sheriff Morrison then concluded that even though Dominic was Robert’s long time partner, he acted as a hit man.

  I saw Digger approach Dog and slip him some money. Digger snapped at him, “I still say this isn’t right because there were two definitions. According to the first definition, he should’ve worked for a crime syndicate, and he didn’t. The second definition the Sheriff used was too vague. He wasn’t a real hit man. It was just his partner.” Digger was tight with his money so I am sure it hurt to pay Dog on what seemed like a sure bet.

  On seeing the pay off, I interjected, “Boys, not in the dining room, please. Gambling could shut me down.” I moved on to let them stew in their argument, which I knew would continue.

  I felt happy like everyone else and the nervous energy I carried over the last few days was gone. I located Dixie and said, “Hey, I think it’s appropriate to offer a special to sell off the rest of the huckleberry liquors. What do ya think?”

  Dixie winked at me. I guess that was her new thing now. She said, “Specials would be good. I usually get better tips when the drinks are on sale. Oh!” Dixie lowered her voice and leaned in close. “I also had some requests from our regulars for Gator’s special peach pie. I told them to talk to you later.

  “OK, but not in the dining room, of course. I keep saying I’m going to stop selling that firewater under the table, but everyone likes it so much and the money is just too good.”

  Dixie chuckled, “You don’t have to tell me. And I like the stuff, too. Come to think of it, I think I’ve seen you drink it as well.”

  “Sometimes.” I was watching everyone enjoying the fun when Beth approached, looking for gossip I’m sure. I greeted her, “What’s new down at the community center?”

  Beth made an odd grunt through her nose then said, “Same as always, organizing people and events is difficult work. But I’m up to the task.”

  I forced a smile. “I’m sure you are.”

  Beth continued, “Thanks. We never spoke again, I was so hoping we would.”

  “Well, the murder is solved now and everybody knows what happened. I was so busy the last couple of days. I’m sorry, I wasn’t ignoring you.”

  “I certainly hope not. But I know you were in the center of this thing and I would still like to hear everything.”

  “When I have a few minutes. Sure Beth. But today it’s real busy here at the Chicken and it’s not a good time.”

  Piper came to my rescue. She had a drink in her hand and grabbed my elbow. She whispered, “Ida has some things to show you in the office.”

  I finished my conversation with Beth by adding, “I’ll have Dixie make you some sweet. I need to get into the kitchen right now. But I’ll talk with you later.”

  Beth added, “Thanks, and I am going to hold you to that!”

  I left Beth and headed for the office with Piper. Ida was still at the laptops when we arrived, working furiously while eating one of the free sandwiches she felt was due her. She looked up when she saw us and began talking. “You should see this. It’s so interesting. Robert did business with all the wrong kinds of people in Atlanta. And he hid it well. But he’s been in debt for a long time, and he owed the wrong people. It was a miracle that no one else got hurt after the murder. This dude Robert has been partners with for years is bad news and had a real long record. I can’t believe we had someone as dangerous as this Dominic hiding in our little town.”

  I raised my eyebrows. “Why? Elias was dealing with loans from the mob, and he hid that. So Robert dealing with gangsters from Atlanta doesn’t surprise me that much, I guess. But I wonder if Donna or Amber knew of anything?”

  Piper answered, “From what I hear Amber is devastated. She had no clue, or so it seems.”

  I turned to Piper standing behind me and said, “I heard that too. I’m actually planning on going out there to bring her and Elias some food later. They’re both pretty shaken up by all this.”

  Ida added, “What the heck was going on in that house? I’ll never look at the Holland place the same way.”

  “I guess none of us will.” I sat on the edge of my desk, well it was more like Ida’s desk now. Thinking how strange all of this was. I asked, “Why are you still set up here? To chase leads for a solved crime?”

  She shrugged. “Nope. Just tying up loose ends.”

  I scrunched up my face. “Can’t you do that at home?”

  “Sure. But it’s more fun here.”

  I gave her the side eye. “This is my office, not a hack shack.”

  Piper laughed at the conversation and then Ida’s tone changed as she chided me, “Hey, don’t you ever check your email? Your inbox is over flowing. And what’s this? You father is coming home. He should be here soon. Said he couldn’t get you on your cell phone.”

  “Yeah, I lost it somewhere during the chase the other day. Wait, my dad is coming home – like soon as in today?”

  “Yep, and he says he has a surprise for you.”

  “Well, that makes two surprises. Because the first surprise was what in the blazes are you doing in my email?”

  Piper chuckled, “I think it’s safe to assume she checks everyone’s email. Seems to be her best source of information.” Piper then picked up a copy of her latest issue of The Potter’s Mill Oracle. “Here, have a read. I wrote one of my best stories ever, if I do say so myself. You feature prominently in some parts.”

  Bones burst into the office and bellowed, “You got to hide me! Abbey is here! And so is my girlfriend.”

  I shrugged, “Who’s Abbey?”

  Bones bobbed his head at me. “You know, the clerk from town hall I made a date with.”

  “You’re on your own, Bones. If you can’t control your hormones, you got to clean up the mess on your own.”

  I felt Dog’s presence more than I saw him. His voice confirmed h
e was just outside the office. “Hey, who erased the stuff on the whiteboard?”

  Bones answered, “It just went away on it’s own yesterday, right about the time of the big arrest.”

  Dog stroked his long gray pony tail a couple of times. “Are you messing with me? How can it just disappear all on its own? This is bad. Going to cost me money. I was all set to win a bet when I showed Patrick Cummings that writing. This would be kinda of funny if it wasn’t happening to me.”

  I laughed, “You’re right Dog. It’s funny to me and I told you not to be betting in the pub. Serves you right.”

  “You’re all just jealous because I was right about the hit man!” Dog Breath turned and left to go drink some more beer at the bar.

  I stood and said, “Well, I better get out front to help Dixie and check on things. With Dog’s head all swollen with being ‘right,’ the boys have been acting like The Three Stooges.”

  Ida added, “Don’t let them hear that. They’ll be betting and arguing over which one is Larry for days.” She paused and looked up realizing we were staring at her. “Larry was the funny one, right?”

  Piper laughed out loud and couldn’t hold her tongue, “OMG! Ida, I would leave The Three Stooges humor alone. There has got to be some ancient curse that condemns women to live with men who think the stooges are funny. I, and every other woman, will never understand it.”

  I left chuckling and made my way out front and went behind the bar. Something strange was happening down at one end, and not surprisingly, it was the end of the bar that Dog Breath, Digger, and Guardrail called home. Guardrail was kneeling curiously on his stool, which made me nervous because the big man now hovered much too high over my bar. A man his size should not use a stool like that and it’s a miracle he didn’t tip over. Animated and waving his hands, he implored, “I saw it, right there. It was a mouse, well more than one. But it’s weird. Almost like I could see through them like ghosts.”