Strummed
Page 14
We took the bus into town, where the best bars were. A magazine had been left on her seat. She was about to toss it to the floor when I got a glimpse of the cover and stopped her. The caption read: Autumn Anders finally speaks out about dead girlfriend.
I flicked through the magazine zealously, finally landing on the major story. There was Autumn, looking as beautiful as ever. The pang in my heart upon seeing her was so loud I thought the whole bus would hear.
“You're a fan of A-in-S?” Monica asked, sounding surprised.
“Not exactly.” I didn't feel like telling her that I'd worked for Autumn, because the conversation would inevitably become all about her. I just wanted to read in peace.
“Can you believe it? After nine years, after refusing to even mention her name in interviews, she's finally talking about it. I read about it yesterday. It's been all over the news.”
Well, my date was ruined as soon as I saw that headline. Once I'd read the interview I couldn't concentrate on Monica, on getting to know her better. Her lively chatter became annoying rambling after a while. Cutting it short halfway into my first glass of wine was my only option. It probably meant no second date, but I couldn't think about that.
I went home and reread the interview several times, reading her quoted words over and over as she spoke of her past love. But it wasn't her loss that she'd ended the interview on, and this was what had made it impossible to focus on my date.
“For the longest time I couldn't speak about her, couldn't even think about her, and certainly couldn't allow myself to fall in love again, for fear it would end tragically and I'd never recover from it, because I barely recovered the first time. But then I met someone special, someone who challenged me in all ways, gave me the desire to live again, to love again.” This part I read a dozen times, torturing myself each time. She'd met someone else already, and she'd moved on. She'd fallen so deeply, madly in love with this new woman that she could finally speak about Nancy. So she could love again, it just wasn't meant to be me.
I cried myself to sleep that night, and was glad that I'd moved out of the family home into my own squalid little apartment above a bakery, where no one would hear me weep. I neglected my assignment too. Even after three months, and one thousand miles separating us, she could still do damage.
It wasn't an alarm that woke me early the next morning, but music. In my disoriented state I stumbled out of bed in search of the source of the music. Had I left on the radio the night before?
It took a moment to realize that it was coming from outside my window. As I peered out into the bright sunrise, I saw the gray Aston Martin, and the woman leaning against it, guitar in hand, singing her heart out.
“She told me to wear my scars, said she loves them as they are,
“Wouldn't change this broken, battered soul for all the gold in the world.”
“And I let her walk away, thinking I would survive another day,
“But my life doesn't mean a thing if I ain't got my girl.”
The window was old and rickety, didn't budge the first time I pushed at it, but I persevered. I poked my head out and she looked up, her smile sparkling when the sun hit it.
“It's six in the morning. What are you doing here?” I shouted down, trying to keep the laughter out of my voice, but failing. My neighbors would likely sign a petition to have me removed from the area after this early morning serenade.
“Trying to win you back. How am I doing?”
I laughed. “I'll probably be evicted because of this. How do you think?”
“Then you'd better come down here and talk to me, otherwise I'll keep playing and wake up the whole neighborhood.”
I charged down the stairs, still in my nightgown, with major bedhead, nearly tripping in my haste to see her. Wouldn't that have been ironic?
“Hi,” she said when I opened the door.
“Hi. How did you find me?”
She grinned a little devilishly. “I sort of forced your parents to tell me where you were, threatening to play outside their door until they did.”
“Oh dear, those guys really know how to hold grudges. It will take them years to forgive you for that.”
She placed her guitar on top of her car then approached me. Everything about her was humble. “I'll send them on a romantic Caribbean cruise for two weeks or something. They'll forget about it soon enough.” She took both my hands in hers. “It's your forgiveness I'm here for, though I know I don't deserve it.”
“You don't,” I agreed, but never let go. There was no need to ever let go, not now that I realized she'd been talking about me in that interview. It had always been me. She'd just taken three months to get here. “And you hurt me. More than anyone else ever has. I thought I would die from a broken heart.”
“I'm sorry, baby.” She stroked my face, then quickly used that hand to wipe the stray tears that had escaped her eyes without her permission. “I didn't know how to love you, even though it was happening, and I wanted to. I didn't know how to take that step. To love you and feel okay about it. It was the most natural thing to do, but I didn't know how to without feeling guilty...”
“About Nancy?”
She nodded. “Loving you felt like I was being unfaithful to her, or like I'd stopped loving her. I was torn, and I turned up the asshole dial because of it.”
“That you did.”
“But you were right. I get it now. I'm always going to love Nancy, she'll always be my first love. But she doesn't have to be my only love. She isn't. I like the way I feel being in love again.” When she smiled her tears continued to fall, and she looked so angelic then. “I like the way I feel being in love with you.”
My urge to kiss her and hold her took over, and I flew into her arms, smashing my lips to hers, no desire to ever come up for air.
THE END
OTHER BOOKS BY HEIDI LOWE
Series from Heidi Lowe:
My Mother's Best Friend
Justified Affair
The Neighbor
Set Dreams
Le Coeur Island
Novellas:
Crave: Nikki's Story
Crave: Faye's Story
Novels:
My Beautiful Sin (Beautiful Sin Saga, Book 1)
Sinning Again (Beautiful Sin Saga, Book 2)
The Queen of Miami
Strummed
Her Lesson in Love
Mega Bundles:
Girl Love: 11-Book Lesbian Romance Mega Bundle
BLURB
Being the personal assistant to one of the most famous rock stars in the world comes with its perks. For Elle Bowman, however, she has yet to see them. Her client comes in the form of the gorgeous, wild and extremely damaged Autumn Anders, renowned for being the meanest woman in show business, and for her all-consuming appetite for the ladies. With Elle's childishly romantic views on love, and Autumn's negative opinion of it, there's an immediate clash of personalities.
One too idealistic and naive, the other emotionally unavailable, the last thing either of them expects is that they'll learn something from each other.
The lesson: Beliefs are worth very little when you're in love.
Strummed is a steamy lesbian romance novel.