Promise Me Forever

by Lorraine Heath

  “I’m certain I won’t regret it.”

  A corner of his mouth hitched up. “If you do, I’ll hand you the horse whip.”

  He stepped over to Lauren, kissed her hand as well.

  “Tom, if I’d known that you planned to stand up there alone—”

  “I’m not finished yet, darlin’.” He winked. “Save a dance for me.”

  No one had yet to move although Lauren heard the first hint of whispering when Tom turned away from her. People parted in silence as he made his way through the crowd, straight toward the tallest and gangliest lord among them. She halfway expected Whithaven to turn on his heel and run. But he didn’t. To her surprise, he stood his ground, although looking a bit nervous, and at that moment, she thought she might have gained a bit more respect for him. These men lived a much less harsh life than the men she’d known in Texas, and it was often easy to overlook the fact that they had steel in their backbones. She thought she could even detect a bit of admiration for the earl mirrored in Tom’s expression as he came to a halt before him. The poor man’s nose was slightly swollen, and the bruising around his eyes had faded to a ghastly yellow.

  “Whithaven,” Tom said, his deep baritone throwing his voice out for all to hear. “I owe you an apology.”

  “I daresay you do.”

  “I had no call to punch you, but that’s the way we do it in Texas. Cowboys are men of action more than words, and we don’t take well to having our ladies insulted.”

  “Well, I meant no insult, of course; I was simply trying to spare you…I didn’t realize that you considered her…well…already your lady,” he stammered to a stop. “My apologies as well.”

  Tom held out his hand. “Accepted.”

  Looking somewhat like a startled raccoon with the flesh around his eyes still discolored, Whithaven took Tom’s hand. “Jolly good.”

  There was a general murmuring as Whithaven turned and walked away, a smug smile on his face as though he’d somehow managed to win. Music started playing and with tears in her eyes, Lauren didn’t wait for Tom to return to her side. She strolled through the crowd until she reached him, this man who had felt he had something to prove and had just proven it. She studied him, scrutinizing the face that she knew so well, the man she’d thought she’d known, who’d held her, kissed her passionately, made love to her…

  She couldn’t have held any more admiration for him.

  “May I have the honor of this dance, my lord?”

  He grinned. “Darlin’, you can have as many as you want.”

  “Considering you shall be the object of speculation and gossip this evening, I might consent to give you more than two.”

  Laughing, he took her into his arms.

  “You handled that remarkably well, Tom.”

  “The one thing I’ve always been is honest in my dealings with other men. These men here deserve no less.”

  “I heard your words. Am I your lady?”

  “How could you doubt it, Lauren? For as long as you’re here.”

  Then what, she wondered. Would she ever again be anyone’s lady?

  They danced a scandalous four dances in a row. Tom didn’t care about rules. He didn’t care what others thought. She would be leaving soon, and as he told her repeatedly, he was saving up for the time when she was gone.

  She grew tired of arguing with him.

  “At least dance with Mama and my sisters,” Lauren said. “I’m going to take a few moments to see to my toilette.”

  “Don’t be gone long.”

  “I won’t be.” She wanted to reach up and kiss his cheek to reassure him. Instead, she simply patted his arm.

  She walked up the stairs to the main salon, greeted ladies in passing as she strolled down the hallway to the main entry. There she took the grand sweeping stairs that led up to the next level. Her dance card remained unmarked, but she wasn’t bothered by that. She suspected all her dances would be with Tom and as much as she was scolding him, she really didn’t mind. Like him, she wanted to hoard their moments together for after she had left.

  She reached the next landing and smiled at the woman who’d spotted her and had waited for her arrival before starting her descent.

  “Hello, Lady Blythe.”

  “It’s not fair,” Lady Blythe said in a mean-spirited whisper.

  “What’s not?” Lauren asked, leaning in.

  “You stole Kimburton from me. I’ve loved him forever, and now he won’t even come to London for the Season. Sachse shows the least bit of interest in me, and you snatch him away as well.”

  “His interest—”

  “Was on me. He repeatedly called me darling.”

  “He calls all ladies darlin’. It doesn’t mean anything.”

  “It means everything. You think his apology to Whithaven makes everything all right. But how will you feel when all of London knows that you have stayed in his residence through the night?”

  Staring at her, Lauren shook her head. “You can’t—”

  “Know? I do know. I was watching from my carriage after Harrington’s ball. Then you went off to the country with him—”

  “You’ve been spying on him?”

  “Spying on him is innocent compared with what you’ve been doing.”

  “You have no idea what I’ve been doing, and it’s none of your business anyway.”

  She started to walk by, and Lady Blythe grabbed her arm. “I’ll ruin you. I’ll make it so no gentleman will dare to consider marrying you. Not even Sachse. You had your chance with Kimburton. Sachse belongs to me.”

  “You want him only because of the coins in his pockets and the titles that he wears. I want him because I love—” Lauren stopped. Dear God, but she did love him. All the plans she’d been making hadn’t been to return to Texas, but to return to Tom. She’d simply refused to recognize it, to acknowledge it, because for a time she’d thought he’d abandoned her. But he hadn’t. In a way, by not trusting him, she’d abandoned him.

  She had to tell him, tell him what she felt. She wasn’t going to go back to Texas. She wanted to stay in England.

  She turned for the stairs. She had to find him. Immediately.

  “No, you can’t have him!”

  She heard the shrill cry, felt the shove at her back, lost her balance, screamed as she tumbled down the hard marble steps, as pain ricocheted through her head and blackness descended.

  Chapter 18

  “My lord, I must ask that you leave.”

  Tom didn’t bother to look at the doctor they’d sent for. Sitting in a chair he’d pulled up to the bed, he just kept his gaze on Lauren, his hand wrapped around hers. Why didn’t she wake up?

  He’d only just arrived at the stairs when he’d heard the echo of her scream and seen her tumble, and he’d been powerless to do anything to prevent her fall. All he’d been able to do was lift her gently into his arms and carry her to her bedchamber.

  “I’m not leaving her,” he said.

  “Tom—” her mother began.

  Tom twisted his head around and glared at her. “I’m not leaving her.”

  He put enough force behind the words so he left no doubt that he meant every word spoken. Lauren’s mother and the doctor exchanged glances, and the doctor sighed. “Very well.”

  Tom turned his attention back to Lauren, rubbing his thumb in a circle over the top of her hand. She didn’t react at all: not a sigh, a murmur, a whisper. Nothing. She just lay there, cool to the touch and so incredibly pale.

  He heard the footsteps as her mother walked to the window. The doctor cleared his throat. “Truly, my lord, I could examine her much more quickly and efficiently if you would be kind enough to move aside. We want what’s best for her now, don’t we?”

  If they wanted what was best for her, she’d be in Texas already. Why hadn’t he simply purchased her passage, let her go sooner? Why had he insisted on keeping her with him when it hadn’t been what she wanted? Why had he been so damned selfish? He was no different t
han his father: caring about his own needs and to hell with anyone else. All the incessant questions and doubts simply served to plague and frustrate him.

  With a nod toward the doctor, Tom stood, walked to the window, and leaned his shoulder against the wall. With the draperies pulled aside, Lauren’s mother was looking out on the night. She didn’t bother to look at him, just kept staring out.

  “She’ll be all right,” Tom said, feeling a need to comfort her as much as he needed to be comforted. But without Lauren, he found no comfort. She was the one who could see into his soul, who could overlook the dark in favor of the light.

  “You can’t know that,” her mother said.

  No, he couldn’t but he could hope…hell, he could wish. If he could only find a star…

  He knew where plenty could be found and a woman could wish all night long. “I’m taking Lauren back to Texas.”

  Her mother looked at him then, and before she could speak, he said, “Whether she wakes up or not, I’m taking her back to Texas.”

  His voice held command and authority, years of issuing orders, years of being obeyed without question, years of being the one everyone turned to for the answers, the one everyone still turned to.

  Tears welled in her mother’s eyes. “I did what I thought was best for her.”

  Tom nodded with sympathy and understanding. “I know, but now it’s time for me to do what’s best for her.”

  He turned as the doctor came to stand beside them. “She’s definitely sustained a blow to the head.”

  Tom had to move away from the bed so the doctor could make that diagnosis?

  “Which means what exactly?” Tom asked.

  “Which means that we have to wait—”

  “Wait for what?” he asked impatiently.

  “To see if she wakes up. It could happen any moment. It might never happen at all. It’s impossible to tell. And if she does wake up, well, quite frankly, I can’t tell what sort of damage might have been done until she does wake up.”

  “There must be something you can do,” Lauren’s mother said.

  “I’m afraid not, unfortunately. The good news is that nothing else appears to be broken or damaged. I would suggest you have someone watch over her and send for me immediately if you detect any change.”

  Lauren’s mother wiped the tears from her cheeks. “We’ll do what ever we have to do.”

  “I would begin by having her maid undress her and put her in a nightgown, so she is more comfortable.”

  “I’ll see that it’s taken care of,” her mother said.

  “I’ll stop by in the morning to check on her.”

  Lauren’s mother nodded. “Thank you, Doctor.” She turned to Tom. “There’s no reason for you to stay. I’ll send word when she wakes up.”

  Tom shook his head. “You’re not listening. I’m not leaving.”

  And he didn’t. For the sake of propriety, he kept his back to the bed, staring out the window searching for that elusive star while Lauren’s maid removed her clothes and put her in a nightgown. When she was finished and Tom finally turned around, Lauren was beneath the covers, her hands folded on top. A chill swept through him.

  He couldn’t lose her.

  Her mother hadn’t left the room, but stood vigil at the foot of the bed, her arms crossed over her chest, guarding against the arrival of the angel of death. Tom reconciled himself to sharing the room with her. He sat in the chair beside the bed, took Lauren’s hand, and wrapped both of his around it.

  “I don’t know if you can hear me, darlin’,” he said, his voice low, “but I lied to you. That first night when we were lying by the river and I told you that I wrote about cattle in my letters…that wasn’t true, and I remember every word I wrote.

  “My darlin’ Lauren,

  “It about killed me today to watch the wagon take you away. I know you didn’t see me standing at the edge of your place watching, but I was there. I was afraid if your mama saw me, she’d get mad at you. I figured leaving was hard enough on you without having your mama mad at you, too. So I did my watching in secret. I know you were wearing the hair ribbon I gave you. Someday I’m going to buy you another one, a fancier one. Lord, I already miss you so bad that I don’t know how I’ll make it through tomorrow. But if I don’t make it, then I’ll never see you again, so I reckon I’ll find a way.

  “Yours forever,

  “Tom.”

  Reaching out, with his fingers, he combed a few wisps of her hair back from her face.

  “My darlin’ Lauren,

  “There’s an ache in my heart that I reckon will be here until we’re together again. It makes the day long and the night longer. Even when thinking about you makes me smile, it hurts. I can’t figure out why it pains me when I like thinking about you. I lay out by the creek to night, alone. I saw a star fall from the sky. If I believed in wishing, I’d have wished that you’d come back to me. But I know that won’t happen, so there’s no point in wishing for it. But I will come for you, just like I promised. You don’t have to wish for it, when it’ll happen without wishing.

  “Yours forever,

  “Tom.”

  He didn’t look over when her mother sat in a chair on the opposite side of the bed. “She cried every night on the journey over here,” she said quietly. “But then so did Amy and Samantha. Uprooting them was hard, but I knew my girls well enough to know they’d adjust. Children are resilient that way. As a parent, you do what you believe is best.”

  “I never held it against you for bringing her here.”

  “If you insist upon staying in this room while she recovers, you’ll have to marry her.”

  Tom knew that she thought she was once again doing what was best for Lauren, was maybe even letting him know that she would approve of their marrying.

  “I’m staying,” he told her.

  She rose. “I’ll let my husband know that you’ll be asking for her hand—”

  “I’m not marrying her.”

  She looked as though she was on the verge of searching for a gun so she could shoot him.

  “Who Lauren marries is her decision to make, not yours, not mine,” he said.

  “How long do you anticipate staying here?”

  “Until she wakes up.”

  “My darlin’ Lauren,

  “I bought some land today. It brings me one step closer to you. Now all I need is the livestock and the buildings and a few good cowhands. I figure another year, maybe two, and I can come for you. My biggest fear is that you grew tired of waiting. That you’re married. I don’t know why I keep writing, why I keep thinking of you. In some ways, it doesn’t seem like so many years have passed. In other ways, it seems like you’ve been gone forever. In all ways, you still own my heart…”

  Lauren heard the scratchy voice. It seemed it had been with her forever, fading in and out. She’d wanted to respond to it, to tell it to keep saying the lovely words, but whether she responded or not, it continued. Always there when she awoke, always there when she drifted off to sleep. Although little difference was apparent between one action and another, because she never opened her eyes. She was so terribly weary and her head hurt something fierce.

  She tried to force her eyes open, tried to force her voice to work. Don’t stop. Don’t stop. As long as you talk I have something to hold on to…

  “You’re not doing her any favors by making yourself sick. You look awful, you sound awful.”

  Rubbing his unshaven face, Tom looked up at Lydia. She, Lauren’s sisters, mother, and stepfather all took turns spending a couple of hours in the room. But he had yet to leave except for short stretches of time to eat or throw cold water on his face. His voice was as rough as sandpaper, but he was afraid if the room filled with silence, Lauren would just drift away.

  He got up and walked to the window. It was night again. He’d missed its arrival. Was this the second or third night?

  “Maybe you should go home for a few hours,” Lydia suggested.

&nbs
p; “No.”

  “Then at least lie down for a while. Ravenleigh has extra bedrooms—”

  “No.”

  “I do believe you are more stubborn than Rhys,” she said.

  He peered down at the street. “There’s no fog to night.”

  “Is that significant?”

  “The stars will be more visible.”

  “So?”

  He spun around. “I need to take her to the river.”

  “Aunt Elizabeth isn’t going to allow—”

  “We won’t tell her.”

  He crossed the room, knelt in front of Lydia, and took her hands. He knew he was close to collapse, so weary that he could hardly hold the tears at bay. “It’ll mean something to Lauren.”

  “Tom, she’s not aware—”

  “You don’t know that. Help me bundle her up, help me get her into a carriage. You can even go with us if you want. Serve as chaperone one more time.”

  “As though I’ve ever been any good as a chaperone. Don’t think I don’t know what was going on at your estate—”

  “I love her, Lydia. I’ve always loved her. Sending her to Texas is going to kill me. But I’m going to do it, but she has to be awake first. Trust me to know what she needs.”

  “Aunt Elizabeth is going to kill me.”

  “Only after she kills me.”

  “If this doesn’t work, Thomas Warner, you have to promise me that you’ll go home and rest before you collapse.”

  He looked at Lauren, so peaceful, so still. He shook his head. “That’s a promise I can’t make.”

  “You are the most stubborn man,” but even as she chastised him, she got to her feet and began to help him wrap Lauren in a blanket.

  When he had her bundled in his arms, she led the way down the stairs, found the butler, and had the carriage brought around.

  He knew he was a desperate man, but he didn’t know what else to do.

  Lydia had decided to stay in the carriage, but Tom wanted Lauren outside. Holding her close, he walked toward the river, stopped by a nearby tree, and as carefully as he could, sat on the ground with his back against its trunk.