To be honest, I don’t particularly care what any of them think. I just want to swim.
I walk through the changing room and head for Haley and Sophie.
Heads turn as I walk; dozens of eyes peek up. I can guess what they’re thinking, but whatever.
“Hey,” I say, handing them a bottle of water each.
Haley smiles. “Thanks, Ivy. I get so thirsty when we’re competing.”
“I know,” I reply. “Are you both ready?”
“I think so,” Sophie mutters.
“No need to be nervous. You’ve got this.”
With a shrug, she turns around. “Not nervous.”
I watch her walk out of the changing room with my heart in my stomach. “She’s still mad at me.”
Haley pulls her hair up into a ponytail. “She’s worried about you, Ivy. Things have changed a lot recently.”
“My life is barely recognizable now, I’ll admit that, but I haven’t done anything—”
“Ivy,” she snaps, cutting me off midsentence. “You’re my best friend, and I love you, but you have got to take responsibility for what’s going on. We all get that you’re having a rough time and there would be a lot of understanding if you’d own up to your part in the downward spiral.”
My word holds no weight now. How do you restore trust in people when they don’t believe what you’re saying?
Averting my eyes, I blink to ease the sting of tears.
Haley sighs. “Forget that now. Just keep going to see Meera.”
Right, because she’s the miracle cure. If she was, I would sign Iris up.
She smiles. “How are you feeling being here but not competing?”
I look back at her. “Er, not great. It’s going to be so weird being a spectator.”
“You didn’t need to come. We would have understood.”
“Yeah, but I want to support you and the team still.” Even if half of them would rather drown me. “I want to be involved in some way.”
“Have you spoken to Coach? About helping her out?”
“I don’t think she will allow that.”
“Maybe not. You’ll just have to let things settle before you try to get back on the team.” She holds up the bottle of water as people filter out of the room. “Thanks again for the water. I’ll see you out there.”
Haley heads out, and I watch her go. The door slams shut, echoing through the room. I’ve spent so much time in here over the last couple of years. Now I can only come in to hand my friends bottles of water.
And none of it is my fault. It’s so unfair.
“Ivy?”
My body freezes at the sound of my twin’s teasing tone.
With fire in my stomach, I clench my jaw and turn around.
She’s standing by the entrance to the pool, in team swimwear that I should have on, with her hands on her hips. “Are you, like, okay in here?”
Oh, there’s no need for her to pretend now. We’re alone in here.
“Fine, Iris. I just came to see Haley and Sophie.”
“Really? They’re both out by the pool. Are you sure you’re okay?”
Like you care.
“Absolutely fine. Break a leg out there.” Please.
Laughing, she drops her arms. “I’ll do you proud.”
Iris spins like a freakin’ ballet dancer and skips out the door. Do me proud. Yeah, whatever, sis. She’s been swimming for all of five minutes, so there is no way she will come anywhere near my time.
But she doesn’t need to beat my time; she only needs to get close to Leah’s, and she’s already getting close to Haley’s. Iris may not have swum competitively before, but she has always been in the pool growing up and you can tell.
It sucks. I really wish she bombed at it.
I take a long breath and my chest expands. Okay, time to do this.
Reaching my hand up, I push the door and step through.
The pool glistens as the water softly ripples. I would dive straight in if I could.
Coach lifts her eyebrow at me from the other side of the room.
Right. I’m not supposed to use that door anymore. I need to use the one for the people who aren’t on the team. Because I’m not anymore.
I turn my head away and walk around the pool to find a space to sit. The bleachers are almost filled. The school we’re competing against is good, probably the best, but we’ve beaten them a couple of times before. We’re pretty evenly matched. Iris better hope that she can get near my times today.
Sitting down, I drop my bag between my feet and smile at Haley. Sophie is talking to Iris and Coach. Leah rolls her shoulders and glances at the other team. She’s nervous. Before each competition, we size up the other team together. She’s doing that alone now. Leah and I aren’t exactly close, but we get along. We push each other. I’d like to think that she is one of the girls who’s behind me joining again.
But with me out of the way, she’s anchor, so who knows.
“Hi, Ivy.”
“What do you want?” I ask Logan.
“That’s not a very nice way to speak to a friend,” he says.
“I didn’t know we were friends.”
“Seems like you could use every one you can get right now.”
Rolling my eyes, I turn away. “I don’t need a pity friend, but thanks.”
“Good, because I don’t pity you.”
“Great. I’m glad we have that cleared up.”
Logan narrows his pale green eyes. “Why am I getting attitude here?”
Honestly, I don’t know. If someone is actually being nice and not treating me like I’m contagious, I shouldn’t be a bitch.
But this is Logan, and Ty still isn’t happy with the whole drunken kiss thing. It makes Logan a bit of a risk. I don’t want to upset things with Ty. I need him more.
“I’m sorry, Logan. I’m just in a bit of a funk.”
“Funk,” he repeats, smirking. “So, did you do any of it? I’ve heard a lot of things. Ellie says a lot of things.”
I roll my eyes. “I’ll bet.”
“It doesn’t make sense. You and I are a lot alike. We both put everything into our sport, we both overthink, and we both need to fix things.”
How does he know this?
Chuckling, he says, “You’re not that much of a mystery to me, Ivy. Looking at you is like looking in a mirror. Only I’m hotter.”
“Oh, please,” I mutter.
“That’s how I know it’s completely out of character for you to purposefully sabotage your life.”
“You believe me,” I whisper.
“I believe something is off. Unless you’ve totally lost it, I don’t think you could steal test papers or do any of the other crazy stuff you’ve been accused of doing.”
“I haven’t done any of it,” I tell him.
“Who did?”
I glance back at the pool. Iris is on the diving block. She’s not one of our strongest swimmers, so she’s going first.
Do I tell Logan? Does he not already know?
Oh, he knows but he wants me to say it. Everyone thinks I’m crazy and a terrible sister for accusing Iris. People who have known me for two years and her for less than two months have chosen to believe her.
I’m trying not to take that personally because Iris is obviously a master of manipulation, but it’s hard not to when you’ve never done anything wrong before.
“Iris,” I say, turning back to Logan.
He stares into my eyes like he’s searching for signs of a lie. Is he watching for a flinch? I’m not flinching. I’m not lying.
“You think it’s your twin sister?”
I nod.
“Why?”
“Well, that’s the million-dollar question, Logan. I think there�
�s something wrong with her.” And I think a lot more than that, of things that she’s potentially done, but I’m not going to disclose everything. Accusing Iris of setting me up has come back and bitten me on the ass before, so I can only imagine what will happen if I tell people I think she’s killed our mom.
“You must have a theory.”
I shrug. Is he genuinely interested because he believes me or is he here for Iris? She’s all buddy-buddy with Ellie, so it’s possible she could have gotten to Logan too.
God, I don’t know what to believe. Everything is such a mess.
“Do you think she’s jealous?” he asks.
On an extreme level.
“Honestly, Logan, I have no clue. I haven’t done anything wrong.” I look away and then back at him. “Is there anything you want to tell me, Logan?”
His eyes narrow. “I’m just a jock. I don’t see anything.” We both know that’s not true.
He might know something. But he’s scared to tell. Maybe Iris has something on him. Or perhaps, as usual, I’m overthinking.
“You saw me. If I’m not allowed to pretend, then neither are you.”
The sound of a whistle blows through the air and the crowd begins yelling. It’s much louder from here. When I’m swimming, even when I’m waiting, I can tune it out.
Wincing, I whip my head around to see Iris disappear under the water.
My throat burns as I watch her.
That should be me.
Call me bitter, I am, but I’m so glad Dad couldn’t get out of work to see this.
My sister’s name is being chanted; I can hear it doubly loud over the name of her opponent. With every chant, my heart beats harder and my fingers curl into the palms of my hands.
I hate her with every fiber of my being.
I hate that she can take what she wants.
I hate that she doesn’t care about me.
And I hate that no one can see what she is.
When I leave high school, I’m moving thousands of miles away, avoiding every college my classmates get into. I want somewhere remote, somewhere I can pretend that I don’t even have a sister.
I get my phone out of my pocket as the sight of my twin swimming churns my stomach. Kat is going to help me whether she likes it or not. I don’t care if she’s scared. We can’t let this continue. Something is very wrong with Iris and it needs to be exposed.
I type Kat’s name into Facebook and find her profile.
I know she wouldn’t accept my friend request, but she doesn’t have the best privacy settings. I can still see her profile.
I scroll down and my heart leaps into my mouth. Standing up so fast my head spins, I grip my phone in my hand and try to force my blurry vision to focus.
No.
I’m too hot. It’s boiling in here. My scalp prickles.
“Ivy, what’s wrong?” Logan asks, rising to his feet.
Half the crowd is standing, so we don’t look out of place. But I feel it.
I shake my head. “Nothing. I need to go.”
Snatching my bag off the floor, I dart toward the door. Iris is out of the pool now, Sophie taking her place in the water. I don’t seek her out, but I know her eyes are on me.
I burst through the door and slam into the wall across the hall. Placing my hand on the cool brick, I count in my head. Breathe. In for four. Out for four.
Lifting my cell, I reread the posts that Kat has been tagged in.
Everyone is devastated.
By her death.
45
Kat is dead.
I feel light-headed, like I’m floating out of my body. I’m scrolling without reading, comment after comment about how sad it is that she’s gone.
Everyone by the pool cheers. I can hear them from out here, spurring on the swimmers. All I can focus on are the pictures and posts about Kat.
She was ostracized like me, but everyone is acting like they’re her best friend.
Why do people care more when you’re dead?
The door swings open and Logan rushes toward me.
Oh my God, just go away.
Having him anywhere near me feels like a trap. He might seem genuine, but Iris can manipulate people in her sleep.
He might not even be aware that he’s her spy.
“Ivy, are you okay?”
I back up. “I’m fine. I just need to go home.”
“Okay, let me drive you.”
“No! My car is in the lot.”
“You’re shaking. I can’t let you drive like that.”
Taking another step back, I put my phone in my pocket. I need to pull it together. “That’s not your call, Logan. You should get inside before Ellie realizes you’re here.”
“I can handle Ellie. Let me at least call Ty.”
Stilling, I frown. “Why aren’t you with Ty?”
“I hurt my foot and need to rest it for a couple of weeks. Thanks for noticing.”
“Why would I notice? We’re not friends.”
He grips his heart with a little dramatic flair. “Ouch, Ivy.”
“I’m not trying to be mean. We’ve never been friends.” Why am I even standing here having this conversation with him?
“Wow. You really are too wrapped up in your unraveling life. I came over when I spotted you because I thought you needed a friend. I guess I shouldn’t have bothered.”
Turning around, he heads back poolside, shaking his head as he goes.
Leaning my side against the wall, I close my eyes and wince. I was horrible to him, and for all I know, he could be genuine.
I take my phone back out of my pocket, closing Facebook before I see any more tributes to Kat, and text Logan.
Having a bad day and took it out on you. I’m sorry
Then I walk quickly down the hall and out to the football field. Ty will know what to do.
Kat is dead.
Iris could be involved.
She tried to hurt her first. Maybe Iris found out that I met up with Kat.
No, I can’t go there. If I got someone killed…
I reach the field and take a seat in the bleachers. Ty is running. I spot him immediately, and smile. He’s safe, and right now, the only safe person in my life. Ty believes me. Despite the overwhelming evidence—planted by my evil twin—he believes me when I tell him I didn’t do all of the crazy things Iris has made me look guilty of.
Maybe Logan does, too, but I can’t bet on that. Trust isn’t something that I’m handing out freely at the moment.
During one of Ty and his team’s many still moments during practice, he looks up and does a double take. His forehead creases as he spots me sitting and watching. He knew I was going to the swim meet, so of course he’s confused.
Ty was going to meet me by the pool after, as he finishes first.
He says something to his coach, who then looks up at me and scowls. What did I do, dude? Coach turns back to Ty and holds two fingers up as he says something.
Ty immediately spins around and sprints up the steps.
I guess he has two minutes to talk to me.
Ty takes off his helmet and runs his hand through his hair. “You okay?”
I shrug. “Fine.”
Raising both eyebrows, he puts one foot up on the bench so he can lean his elbow on his knee. “You’re here and not at the pool.”
“And you’re observant as ever.”
“Ivy…”
“I prefer to watch you. Go back and finish, then we can go eat.”
He hesitates with his lips pressed together and disbelief in his eyes. Ty isn’t stupid, and I really am a terrible liar. It’s unfortunate that no one else remembers that about me.
Apparently, I had a personality transplant as my mother was la
id to rest.
I clench my jaw as the pain of losing her and losing my life cuts through my chest. Iris makes me so angry, but the worst part is that she’s using Mom’s death as an explanation for why I’m supposedly doing all this crap.
Mom’s memory is going to be tainted and it will be all Iris’s fault. Meera thinks that Iris is acting out, and, I mean, that much is clear. I can forgive her for making me look guilty, but if she’s hurt Mom or Kat, that’s not something I can forgive, no matter what is really going on with her.
“We can go to my house. My parents are out.”
With a tight smile, I nod. “Okay.”
I would rather be at his house anyway. Kat is dead, and I have to find out how that happened. That’s not really something I want to be doing in a restaurant. I’d look on my phone now—there is probably a news article about it, but I’m too scared to. I want to be alone with Ty.
After practice, Ty follows me to his house. I get it together long enough to drive.
He lets us in the house and I immediately collapse on the sofa before I fall to the floor.
“Kat’s gone.”
“What? Who has gone?”
“Kat. Iris’s old friend. She ditched her and turned the whole school against her. Sound familiar?” I run my hands over my face. “Oh my God, she’s killed two people.”
“What?”
I drop my hands and look up at Ty. “Iris killed my mom and Kat.”
He takes a step back as if my words have pushed him. “Iris?”
“Yes.”
“You need to start at the beginning, Ivy. I’m lost. You think your sister is a killer?”
“I know she is,” I whisper. “And if I’m not careful, I’ll be next.”
“Stop.” He kneels down in front of me. “I need you to start making sense. How do you know Kat?”
“I tracked her down on Facebook. At first, she didn’t want to talk but then she agreed to meet me. She told me how she was once best friends with Iris until Iris turned everyone against her. No one believed Kat when she told them what Iris was doing. One day, Kat was pushed down a flight of stairs at school. Everyone thought she fell because there was no one at the top. They didn’t believe her when she told them it was my sister.”
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