All I Want for Christmas: A Contemporary Romance Holiday Collection

by S. L. Sterling

  "Wow, really, already?" I glanced up to the calendar that hung on the wall and, sure enough, the large red heart I had drawn around the date stood out to me. I had received an invitation in the mail, but my bank account had ultimately decided for me that I couldn’t go. I figured they would understand why I couldn't make it, and knowing Drew, he had probably sent me the invitation out of courtesy. He’d probably expected me not to be there. "I couldn't afford it, Mom."

  "You should have said something. We would have paid for you to come home. We miss you, Lex."

  "I know, Mom. I miss you guys too." I sniffled again. I got up off the floor and took a sip of my tea and pulled something to eat out of the fridge while listening to Mom talk about one of the neighbors. I took my plate of cheese and crackers over to the small table and sat down, picking up a pencil to write something down quickly.

  "Oh, and your brother is coming home for Christmas this year," she said, changing the subject once again. "Would be nice if you could join us."

  I fiddled with the pencil, holding back tears. I would give anything to sleep in my own bed, breathing in the familiar scent of Downy scented sheets. Right about now, I wanted nothing more than to taste one of her home-cooked meals and fresh-baked goodies too. I could barely cook, and I certainly couldn't bake. I stared down at my half-eaten cheese and crackers and pushed the food around on my plate while thinking about how close to heaven her food would be right about now.

  "I know, Mom. Maybe next year."

  We talked for another twenty minutes before I had to get off the phone with her. If I hadn’t, I was sure the tears would start to fall as we talked about old times. I choked down my meal in silence, just like I had done most nights since I had been gone. When I put my dirty plate back in the kitchen, I turned and looked up at the calendar, that bright-red heart screaming at me. I let out a deep breath. She was so lucky to have him, I thought to myself and picked up the invitation that sat on the pile of mail on the table. These had to have been expensive, I thought to myself as I ran my fingers over the gold-leaf paper. Laura was so lucky. I threw the invitation down, took a couple of cookies from the bag on the counter, and my tea, and headed into the other room to watch some TV.

  Fifty minutes later, the thought of home still hadn't left my mind, and I had begun checking out every airline for a flight home, finally booking one for December. I put it on my credit card, since my bank account certainly couldn't handle the cost of a flight right now, and decided that I would worry about it later.

  As I sat waiting for the boarding call for my flight, I counted the weeks until I would be home—only twenty-six more weeks. I was so excited. This Christmas I would be sitting around the tree with my family for two weeks, instead of wallowing alone in misery.

  2

  Drew - June

  * * *

  "Today is the big day, man. You sure you're ready?" Zach looked over at me while tying his right shoe.

  I was silent as I slid into my dress pants, pulling them over top of the black boxers with little red hearts that Laura had insisted we all wear for photos. I looked at myself in the mirror. Something about today was just surreal to me. It almost didn't feel real to be standing here getting ready for my wedding.

  "Earth to Drew!"

  I blinked hard and turned to look at Zach. I cleared my throat. "Yeah, I guess. As ready as I'll ever be." I let out a sigh, looking at myself in the mirror again. I wondered how long it would be before I put on an extra forty-five pounds, said good-bye to my eight-pack that Laura loved so much, and replaced it with a beer gut.

  "You guess? What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

  I shrugged. I didn't know how to get what I was feeling across in words. Everything leading up to today had been wonderful, until I woke up this morning and something just hit. "Honestly, I don't know. Maybe I just woke up on the wrong side this morning." I looked over at my best friend who stood there smirking.

  "Are you nervous?"

  "No. I guess I’m just second-guessing if she is the one."

  Zach was just about to reach for his shirt and stopped as the words left my mouth. "You're joking, right? Dude, you are getting married in less than an hour. Come on, she's a great girl. It’s probably just cold feet. It will be fine."

  * * *

  I grabbed the perfectly pressed white shirt off the hanger and slid my arms into it. "I hope you’re right."

  Zach got up off the bed, walked over to the mirror, and tied his tie. "What do you mean you hope I'm right? You've been with her for fifteen years, man. Of course, it’s going to be fine."

  "Yeah, but I should be ecstatic, happy, excited to start this journey with her, but instead I'm second-guessing everything. It's just a little unnerving."

  "Seriously, man, it’s just nerves. Breathe. It will be okay. You'll see her walk down that aisle looking absolutely stunning and you'll forget all about second-guessing."

  I silently prayed Zach was right. However, he hadn’t seen Laura's face when I dropped her off at her parents’ last night. The way she hung onto me as she hugged me good-bye, or the tears in her eyes as she looked back over to me before I had left. I let out a breath and wrapped my tie around my neck when the other three guys came in carrying ten shots on a tray.

  "Party time is here!" Ben yelled out, setting the tray down on the table in the middle of the room.

  "What is that?" I asked as I finished tying my tie and adjusting my collar, adding the cufflinks to my sleeves.

  "Tequila! Open up, motherfucker. You need to chill the fuck out!"

  "Fuck, guys, Laura will kill me if she smells this on me. I can't. You guys go ahead. We made a promise to one another that there would be no alcohol before the ceremony."

  "Already letting her control everything, are you? Don't be such a pussy!" Evan said, handing me the shot. "It’s your fucking wedding, man. Drink it."

  I chuckled at my seriousness and took the shot, praying that the smell would wear off before I stood across from her and said my vows.

  "On three." Zach called one...two...and down went the shot. The hot, nasty-tasting liquid seared a path down my throat and heated my chest.

  There was a constant murmur of voices that I soon blocked out as we continued to get ready. By the second shot, I noticed Zach looking over at me a couple of times, making eye contact, checking in to make sure I was indeed okay, but like the best friend he was, he never said a single word in front of the other guys. No one other than us knew how I was feeling.

  A knock on the door quieted the guys down, and Zach quickly answered it. "Hey, Drew, boutonnieres are here!" I heard Zach yell as I stepped out of the bathroom.

  I walked over, taking them from the guy at the door, and set them on the table. I stared down at the single red rose that Laura wanted us all to wear on our lapels and was overcome with that funny feeling again. I swallowed hard. Where was the damn wedding coordinator? She was supposed to be here already, and I feared if she didn't show up soon I was going to change my mind. Just as that thought ran through my mind, she appeared, almost as if she were the genie and I had just rubbed the magic lamp.

  She came rushing in the door, grabbing everyone's attention. "Okay, boys, let’s get these on, shall we." She grabbed one of the boutonnieres and began pinning it onto Zach.

  I watched as she took turns pinning the flowers onto my three other friends before she turned to me. "All right, Drew, here we go. Are you ready?" she asked, carefully pinning the flower to my suit.

  I nodded, swallowing my nerves down. "I just came from your bride's room. She looks stunning. Just wait until you see her." Once she had finished securing my boutonniere to my jacket, she quickly brushed a piece of lint away that had been sitting on my suit jacket and placed her hands on my chest. "All right, we should get down there."

  I nodded, swallowing hard.

  Minutes later, we were lined up at the alter, Drew on my left followed by the other three guys. I stood looking out at the guests, all 500 of them, and I
started to sweat. I pulled at my collar, clearing my throat. "Did you remember the ring?" I whispered to Zach, who was busy making eyes at his girl, Ann Marie.

  "Do you honestly think I would forget?" he, asked tapping his breast pocket. "Calm down, man, everything’s going to be okay."

  Seconds later, I saw the wedding coordinator peek her head through the doors at the back of the church and the “Wedding March” started to play as a deathly hush fell over the crowd and people stood. My nerves kicked into high gear as I waited for my bride to emerge through those doors.

  3

  Alexa - December

  * * *

  I grabbed a large peppermint mocha from Starbucks and began walking toward my gate. I was so excited to be going home this year for Christmas. It seemed everyone was just as excited as I watched all the families getting ready for their flights to their holiday destinations. I took my time. I was at the airport early and took this opportunity to wander through all the overpriced shops, something I rarely had the time to do.

  As I wandered through a purse shop, I thought back to this morning and the conversation I'd had with my landlord. I had packed everything I owned and had just thrown the last of my bags into the trunk of the cab and slammed it closed.

  "Give me one minute," I'd said to the driver.

  He nodded while sipping on his coffee. "I'm in no rush. The meter is running!" he shouted as I ran back into the building and handed the landlord my key.

  "Alexa, are you sure you won't change your mind? I can always hold the place until I hear from you for no deposit. You've been a good tenant; I'd hate to see you go."

  Of course, he would hate to see me go. I'd paid my rent on time, the place was barely used due to my travel schedule, and I had left it with barely a scratch in any of the walls or furniture.

  I hesitated for a minute, trying to decide what my plan was. When nothing came to mind, I shook my head. "It's okay. I'm sure."

  "You know what, you don’t worry. I am going to hold it for you regardless. No one is going to be looking for an apartment over the holidays anyways. So, how about I call you just after Christmas, and if you want to come back, the place is yours."

  * * *

  "Thank you, I appreciate it, but you don't have to do that."

  "Nonsense, it’s not a big deal. It will be here for you. Have a merry Christmas, Alexa." He turned and headed back down the hall in the direction he had come from. I wiped the tears that had fallen from my eyes and turned on my heel and walked out the door into the drizzly weather.

  "Is there something I can help you with, miss?" I felt a light tap on my shoulder, and a lady came into focus in front of me.

  "Oh no. I was just looking, thanks," I said and continued into the next store.

  By the time I got to the gate, I had passed an hour. I took a seat off in the corner and pulled my laptop from my bag. Within minutes, I had pulled up job opportunities and began my search. There certainly wasn't much in the line of photography work back home, but the few that I found I applied to quickly. I had just sent my resume off to a fifth one when my cell phone rang. I glanced at the phone to see “Mom and Dad” across the screen.

  "Hey, Mom."

  "Lexi, I called your apartment. Your line has been disconnected."

  "Yeah, Mom, I shut it off. Traveling to my next job," I lied. I hated lying to Mom, but she didn't need to know the real reason. I still really wanted my visit to be a surprise.

  "Listen, I was just talking to your father. Are you sure you can't make it home? We will pay for your ticket, even for a couple of days."

  I looked around the airport and smirked to myself. "I can't, Mom."

  The line went quiet, and I thought I heard her let out a sniffle, but then she cleared her throat. "So what time is your flight?"

  "It leaves in three hours. Cell service might be spotty where I am going, but I will call you as soon as I can."

  "How long is the flight?"

  "About eleven hours."

  "Where are you off to again?"

  "Geez, Mom, I can't remember the name of the city, and I don't have my boarding pass just yet," I lied as I stared down at the boarding pass in my hand.

  "All right, well, promise me you'll try to call us on Christmas day okay."

  "Sure thing, Mom. I love you."

  * * *

  "Love you too, Lex."

  The other end of the phone went quiet and I hung up, shoving it back in my bag. I stuffed my laptop and boarding pass in as well and pulled my sweatshirt from the bag. I threw it over my head and glanced across the way to the small store. Deciding I needed two or three books for the flight home, I got up from the floor and wandered across the way to browse what they had. Three hours later, armed with four new books, two bags of chips, a sandwich, and some other snacks and drinks, I boarded the plane and was on my way to spend Christmas with my family for the first time in three years.

  4

  Drew

  * * *

  A bad rendition of “Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas” played over the tiny radio I kept in my office. The ice cubes in my now-empty glass had started to melt, sliding down one another and clinking against the side of the crystal glass. I poured a bit more scotch into my glass and looked out the window. Outside, snow was just starting to lightly fall, and the darkened skies threatened more.

  I sat down and kicked my feet up on my desk, relaxing back in my chair. I picked up the paper that lay in front of me and stared down at the gold-leaf embossed invitation. They had only cost me a mere two thousand dollars to have printed—a bargain Laura had said, as she begged me to order them, and like an idiot, I’d complied. I read the written words over and over.

  Drew John, Laura Elizabeth, on this first day of June, in holy matrimony - love that will last forever.

  "Forever my ass," I said out loud as I threw the invitation down on my desk and picked up the glass, drinking down the remainder of my scotch. After fifteen years, it had all come to a grinding, crashing halt when the maid of honor was the last one to walk down the aisle. Laura, now known as the wedding wench, had left me, standing alone with my five groomsmen, in front of 500 of our closest friends and family, while she ran off with her new half.

  I tell you nothing says fuck you more than having to hand over fifty grand in cash for your wedding that never happened. What I struggled to understand was why? How? How could my wife-to-be and girlfriend since college just up and walk away without an explanation and not feel the least bit heartbroken?

  "Hey, Drew, I just wanted to stop in and make sure you were okay," Andrea said, stepping inside my office, glancing to the glass that I held in my hand.

  She was one of the girls from the front desk who felt the need to constantly remind me of what had happened. Like everyone else, she always wanted to coddle me. We'd had a whole discussion one afternoon in the lunchroom. She firmly believed that I needed to talk to someone, that I was holding everything inside, but I wasn't. I was fine because, after a while, the hurt goes away, and all that was left now was a strong desire to know the truth.

  "I'm good, Andrea. Thanks for asking." I was getting tired of this.

  * * *

  "Well, have a merry Christmas, Drew. If you are lonely at all over the holiday, give me a call. I decided to stay in town as opposed to going home to my family. Flights were crazy expensive last-minute. Perhaps we could share a coffee and desert one night."

  There it was, her telltale “I can be a shoulder to cry on” offer. "Thanks for the offer, but I promised Zach I would spend the holidays with him and his family. So I'll be heading to Denver in the next couple of days."

  I saw a flash of sadness in her eyes as she looked down to the floor. "Well, that is great, Drew. Have a merry Christmas." She stood inside my door, looking from me to the glass and back to me, almost as if she wanted to say something else.

  "You too. You should get going before the weather gets any worse. Looks like there is going to be a good storm rolling in
tonight." I nodded toward the window.

  She smiled, turned, and slowly walked away from my office, looking back over her shoulder at me and giving me a tiny wave.

  As soon as she was out of sight, I looked around my office, the fake Christmas tree that stood in the corner with its flashing lights almost mocking me at the fact that this was my first Christmas alone in fifteen years. I turned my eyes back down to that stupid invitation and clenched my fists.

  "Drew, could I see you for a second?" Trent asked, stepping inside the doorway of my dark office. "In my office please."

  "Sure thing." I got up from my desk and followed him down the hall to his office, loosening my tie as I went.

  "Shut the door behind you please," he murmured and took a seat behind his desk.

  I did as he asked and sat down across from him. Something in me knew this was probably about the last few cases I had been working on.

  "Drew, you are the youngest, highest paid divorce attorney in this firm. You have worked hard to get to where you are today. We are so proud of you and are hoping that you will stay on with this firm and become partner."

  I just about jumped out of my seat. How great would it be to start the New Year as partner? But then he cleared his throat and continued.

  "With that being said, you have fucked up. The last two cases that you completed were disasters, both clients not happy with the outcome."

  "Well then, I guess perhaps my clients should have thought about that before they stuck their dicks into someone other than their wives," I bit out.

  Trent couldn't say anything to that. He knew me too well, and he knew my thoughts on cheating, especially after what had happened to me earlier this year. We both hated it, and having to represent someone who did it sometimes got to me. We'd had lengthy discussions surrounding the subject.