All I Want for Christmas: A Contemporary Romance Holiday Collection

by S. L. Sterling

  Just as I came into the town square, I stopped at the coffee shop that Lexi and I had visited last night. Great, just another reminder, I thought to myself as I stepped through the doors, the smell of fresh cinnamon rolls in the air. I grabbed a coffee and muffin for breakfast, quickly ate, and made my way to my next stop: the ski shop. It was such a beautiful day, I purchased a lift ticket, new ski pants, and rented some equipment and headed toward the lift.

  I had spent the day hitting the slopes; the conditions couldn't have been better. I had lunch alone with my thoughts, and then I hit the slopes again. There was something so freeing about skiing down a hill, wind in your face, mind completely blank from everything.

  It was almost seven, and I slowly walked up the hill toward the house. Barbara probably had dinner on the table and was surely waiting for me. However, part of me wasn't in a hurry. I had left my cell phone at the house, somewhat on purpose. I didn't want to be found. I wanted to be alone with my thoughts.

  I glanced down at my watch again, this time picking up the pace, starting to feel bad about being gone for so long and making everyone wait for dinner because I wasn't there. Finally, I hit the driveway ten minutes later. It was full of vehicles, telling me that Zach and Ann Marie were probably here as well. I walked up the driveway and glanced up at the front window to see Lexi standing there staring down at me. I noticed a soft smile come to her lips as she waved at me. I inhaled deeply, trying to figure out how I was going to be around her, and stepped through the front door.

  "There you are. We were getting ready to call the police," she whispered, giggling, sneaking in to give me a quick kiss on the cheek.

  I glanced up at the dining room, praying that no one noticed what had just happened. When I saw that no one had as much as turned around to see who had walked through the front door, I let out the breath I had been holding.

  "Hey. I was at the ski resort," I said, bending to untie my boots, not giving in to a returned kiss. "Sorry I'm late, Barbara," I called out, hanging my coat in the hall closet and following Lexi into the dining area where the entire family sat waiting.

  "It's okay, Drew. Take a seat by Lexi there," Barbara said, nodding to the only empty seat at the table.

  All through dinner, I was quiet, listening to Ann Marie and Zach talk about their plans for tomorrow. I was hoping that Zach and I would be able to hit the slopes tomorrow afternoon after I helped Joe in the morning, but that didn't look like it would be possible. I would need to find something else to keep me occupied then. As that thought crossed my mind, I looked over and saw Lexi watching me, a slight frown on her face.

  I looked down at my plate, avoiding eye contact with her. Throughout the day, I had realized what it was that was bothering me so much. It wasn't really what had happened between Lexi and me. After all, we were both grown, consenting adults. It was more the thought of disappointing her that I was afraid of. I couldn't give Laura what she had apparently needed, that much I knew, and I didn't want to do the same to Lexi. It wasn't the fact that my relationship with Zach would be ruined either. That really didn't matter to me because I knew in time that would heal. All that mattered was I cared for Lexi and I didn't want to hurt her. I guess I had more feelings for her than I had realized, and I needed to tread carefully.

  After dinner, Lexi cornered me, wanting to go for a walk and spend time together. Instead of doing what my heart wanted, I made the excuse that I needed to get out and call a client. I borrowed the car Zach and I had rented and went for a drive to clear my head. It was a shitty thing to do, lying to her, especially when I saw the look of disappointment on her face as I left the house alone. I felt like a total ass as I walked down the stairs and got into the car because I could feel Lexi watching me through the front room window.

  When I finally returned, the house was dark, and I quietly let myself in. I grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge and climbed up the stairs to my room. I was just about to close my bedroom door behind me when I heard a soft voice call my name. I turned and saw Lexi, her door ajar, as she stood against the doorframe in only a T-shirt and panties, her soft, thick brown hair resting on her shoulder.

  Even though my brain told me not to, I sauntered over to her door and leaned against the frame. "Yes?" I asked, looking down into her soft, sad eyes.

  "I just wanted to say good night," she said, tracing the letters on my shirt. "Is everything okay?" she asked, resting her hands on my chest.

  I simply nodded because the words wouldn't come to my lips. I wasn't sure myself if everything was okay between us now. I wasn't sure of anything anymore.

  "I'll leave my door open a crack, in case you want to slip over later tonight," she whispered, leaning in and dragging her soft, full lips over mine, the contact instantly going to my cock.

  I closed my eyes and felt the softness of her lips, my free hand instantly cupping the cheek of her ass. I pulled her tighter to me, letting her feel how hard I had become in only those two quick seconds she had been in front of me. A creak on the stairs, however, forced me to let her go.

  "Go to bed, Lexi," I whispered, and turned to make my way back to my bedroom. I closed the door behind me, leaned against my door, and closed my eyes, letting out the breath I was holding. This girl was going to be death of me this Christmas.

  20

  Drew

  * * *

  "Okay, Drew, so the plan is lights up along the edge of the roof, lining all upper windows, and then again the roof of the front porch, again windows, and finally the garage, including the doors," Jim said as he stood over top of the boxes of lights. "Drew, you will have to take the high ground. My knees and hips can't take a ladder anymore."

  "Not a problem," I answered and went into the garage. I pulled the extension ladder down from where it hung on the wall, carried it out of the garage, and set it up against the house.

  We quietly and quickly unraveled the strands of lights, Jim sorting them into the correct piles for windows and the roof. We plugged each strand in, replacing any broken or nonworking bulbs before putting them up. I took the strand for the garage roof and climbed the ladder quickly, hooking the cords into the hooks that Zach and I had put in a few years back to make this a faster and easier job. Once the garage was done, I quickly took the roofline strands for the house and front porch, climbed the ladder, and secured those lights as well.

  "Boys, I have some hot chocolate for you," I heard Barbara call as I climbed back down the ladder to get more lights.

  I walked over and took the mug from her, sipping on the hot liquid. It was cold this morning, and I was thankful for the warm drink.

  "Did you want the green or red around the upper windows?" I asked, sifting through the strands.

  "How about green on Lexi's window, red on ours, and then green on the other," Barbara said.

  "Sure thing."

  * * *

  "I'll do the opposite down here on the two living room windows and around the garage doors while you finish the rest," Jim said, coming for a drink as well.

  I drank down the rest of my hot chocolate and grabbed the three strands of lights I would need to complete the upper windows. I started at Lexi's room. I just needed to get this wrapped around the casing and be done.

  As I began, one of the hooks fell out after rusting off. I grabbed a new one from my pocket and began screwing it in when movement from inside caught my eye. Lexi's bedroom door flung open and she came wandering into her bedroom wrapped in a towel. I slowly continued replacing the screw, trying hard not to peep in on her.

  "Please just leave the room," I whispered to myself, but she didn't. Instead, she dropped her towel to the floor, exposing herself to me without knowing it. I hung the first light up slowly on the hook as I patiently watched. "Just get dressed," I whispered. She didn't. Instead, she walked over and laid down on her bed. She laid on her back, her right hand resting on her stomach, gently running her fingers over her soft skin. Skin I longed to touch again. Her left hand came down and rubbed over
her breast, her fingers gently rolling the nipple. I felt my cock start to stiffen as I hooked yet another part of the lights up. I closed my eyes. There was no way this could be happening. There was no way I was out here on the roof watching her touch herself. I closed my eyes tightly, saying a silent prayer to the man upstairs as I felt a bead of sweat roll down my back. When I opened them, she was still there, still rolling her nipple between her fingers. I tried to ignore what was happening through that window and quickly began fastening all the lights around the casing. I was just about to step away when I saw her slip her right hand between her legs, her head tilting back as she slowly rubbed herself.

  My heart rate accelerated as I continued to watch. I was so hard I was sure I was about to blow my load in my jeans when I heard some commotion in the background down below me. I ignored whatever was going on down below and kept my eyes glued to her bed.

  "Fuck, Drew, what the hell is taking you so long, man?"

  I jumped back, almost falling off the roof as Zach came up the ladder. "Is everything okay?"

  "Yeah, yeah. It's fine." I swallowed hard. I could feel my face going red as I scrambled to grab the next strand of lights. "I just needed to replace a few hooks that had rusted off on this window, but I need to get more for the others. Let me come down and grab some," I said, coming over to the edge of the roof, waiting for Zach to climb back down the ladder. The last thing I needed was him coming up on the roof with me and peeking and seeing what I witnessed.

  Zach backed down the ladder, allowing me to come down. We fished around in the garage looking for more hooks, finally finding them tucked in Jim's toolbox. We both walked out of the garage, ribbing one another, and came around the corner. I stopped dead, dropping the package of hooks on the ground, as I saw Lexi standing on the porch talking with her father. She glanced over my way, waving.

  "What the hell is wrong with you?" Zach asked, smacking me on the back. "Look like you've seen a ghost." He laughed.

  "I'm fine." I shrugged, reaching down to pick up the package and heading for the ladder.

  I sat in the corner of the coffee house reading the paper and sipping on hot coffee, trying to relax. After I had gone back up on the roof to finish the lights, Lexi had gone back into the house to bake with Barbara. I had never been more relieved. I could feel the tension within myself as she had stood talking with her father, both glancing over at me occasionally. I knew Zach sensed it too because he kept staring at me. After she had gone back inside, I had to ignore his constant questioning and nagging. I had finished putting the lights up, and then decided to head into town. Now here I sat, alone with nothing but my thoughts and this cup of coffee.

  I had been sitting here reading the same article repeatedly for the last twenty minutes, thinking of what I had seen through Lexi's bedroom window. I dropped the paper down and stared out the window as shoppers bustled up and down the street, carrying bags, laughing and talking with their shopping partners. Everyone around me seemed happy, and here I was, once again caught up in my own feelings, only this time they had nothing to do with Laura. Going away this Christmas was supposed to be a good thing.

  I let out a sigh. I had done no shopping yet, and I needed to get on it. Christmas was fast approaching and wasn't going to wait for me to make up my mind on when and if I should start shopping. I drank down the remainder of my coffee and left the little shop, stepping out into the cold and blowing snow, and wandered up the street.

  I spent the remainder of the day in town, wandering in and out of the shops, accomplishing nothing. I slowly wandered up the street and turned into the driveway of the house. Zach was busy securing his skis to the hood of the car.

  * * *

  "Hey, man, going skiing with Ann Marie?" I asked, stopping to help him for a second.

  "No, she is busy with her parents and little brother. I was hoping you would hit the slopes with me tonight. Lexi is moping around the house, and Mom and Dad just want to relax."

  I glanced at my watch. It was only seven. Plenty of skiing hours left. I thought for a quick second. I could stay at the house praying I could ignore Lexi or I could ski with my best friend. "Little night skiing, sure thing. Let me just run inside and get changed."

  "Sure thing. I'll just finish up here."

  I ran up the front steps and into the house, kicking my shoes off and running upstairs to my room. I quickly changed, grabbed my ski pants and jacket, and stepped out into the hall just in time to see Lexi climb up the stairs with a mug of hot tea. She looked over at me like she was going to say something, which was soon replaced with a sad look on her face. She walked into her room, closing the door behind her. I was tempted to go and see her, but I needed so bad to distance myself from her right now that I couldn't be bothered. The sad look in her eyes was no doubt because of me, because I was already disappointing her. Just as I knew I would.

  Zach and I drove down to the ski hill, and he waited patiently while I grabbed some skis, and then we bought our lift tickets and headed up the mountain. For the next few hours, the only thing on my mind was scenery as we cut up the fresh powder beneath our skis. My mind was free of everything by the time we had loaded the car back up.

  "You up for a coffee?" Zach asked as he climbed into the front seat of the car, doing up his belt.

  "Yeah, you know what, that sounds great."

  We drove over to the little coffee shop, Zach parked the car, and we both hopped out and walked into the shop. Standing in line, I looked around at the faces that filled the place. It was almost my turn to order when I spotted Lexi sitting over in the corner with Ann Marie.

  "Hey, I thought your woman was busy with family tonight?" I said to Zach, who was busy looking up at the board trying to decide what he wanted to eat.

  He glanced over to where they were sitting and smiled as he waved at her. "Guess she was all finished. Want to join them?"

  My stomach sank as I noticed Lexi wipe tears from her cheek and get up from where she was sitting and go into the women’s washroom.

  "I guess," I said, frowning after her as I placed my order.

  * * *

  As we stood waiting for our order, Zach watched as Lexi came out of the washroom, eyes red as she looked over toward me and rushed back over to where they were sitting. While Zach and I continued to wait for our coffees, he bumped me with his shoulder and leaned into me. "You better not have hurt her," he said in a hushed tone.

  My gut churned as I was handed my coffee cup. "You know, I'm suddenly not feeling all that well. Think I might head back to the house," I said, clearing my throat and looking back over at Lexi as she stared back to me.

  "What the fuck, man, you were fine five minutes ago."

  I didn't have much to say to that. I just couldn't be here in the same room with Lexi and her brother. "Think you could catch a ride with Ann Marie?" I asked, practically begging for the keys.

  "I guess." He shrugged, pulling the keys from his pocket.

  "Thanks, man. I'll see you tomorrow." I took the key from his hand, had my coffee put into a to-go cup, and quickly made my way over to the car.

  I made it back to the house in no time and went straight to my room, locking the door behind me. I quickly changed and dropped into bed and flipped the TV on and spent the night alone with my thoughts.

  The remainder of the week I spent my time in town or with Zach. Every night, by the time dinner was over, I hit my pillow and it was all I could do not to slip across the hall and into Lexi's room. The way Lexi and I looked at one another through dinner or in quiet moments was beginning to weaken whatever strength I still had to stay away from her.

  On Thursday night, once I retired to my room, I actually started locking my door. I wasn't sure if I was doing it to keep her from sneaking in throughout the night or to keep me from sneaking out.

  Saturday morning, I woke early and stepped out of my room a little after five in the morning to use the washroom. Half asleep, I trudged across the hall and was just about to open the bat
hroom door when Lexi came out of the room wrapped in nothing but a thin white towel. My eyes dropped down her body as she scurried by me. It was impossible not to watch as she ran back to her room, and it took every fiber of my being not to follow her back into the bedroom, lock her door, and fuck her up against the wall, especially when she turned and practically begged me with her eyes to do just that.

  Sunday morning, I joined everyone for breakfast for the first time in a week. I took my usual spot beside Lexi. Zach hadn't come up yet from the basement, Jim was out in the garage getting something out of the freezer, and Barbara had her back turned to the table plating up food. I picked up my coffee mug and took a sip, and that was when I felt a slight tug on my shirt sleeve.

  "Why are you ignoring me?" Lexi whispered.

  I put my mug down on the table and looked at her, so badly wanting to kiss her and make her worries disappear. I knew that I was getting to her. Hell, I was getting to myself. She tugged at my heart as her sad eyes looked up at me.

  "Did I do something wrong?"

  How could I answer that? She had done nothing, nothing at all. It was all me and my inner demons. "I'm not. I've just had a lot of things to do for work over the last few days," I lied.

  Her eyes fell from mine down to the plate in front of her. "But you locked your door last night," she whispered.

  I didn't have an answer for her, and as her sad eyes looked down away from mine and looked to her plate, I knew me staying away from her was hurting her far more than I really knew.

  21

  Alexa

  * * *

  "So what did you want to get for Drew?" my mother asked as we walked through the craft store.