Dory's Avengers

by Alison Jack

  Theo looked at the carrot in confusion, wondering what it had to do with making babies. Rosanna had guessed exactly what the carrot was for and she sat herself down beside Theo, laughing helplessly. On the other side of him Theo could feel Marina shaking with laughter too, but she laid a hand on his arm to show she wasn't trying to mock him.

  Fishing in his pocket, Lord William said, ‘This…look at it, Theodore…This is a condom.’

  ‘OK, Your Lordship. I haven't a clue what that is.’

  ‘Here. Open the packet.’ Theo did as he was told and Lord William continued, trying to ignore the laughter of his daughters.

  ‘Now, when you have sex, Theodore, and you…you know…finish off…’

  Sensing his father's discomfort, and that his sisters’ laughter was more at Lord William's expense than his, Theo felt the corners of his own mouth starting to twitch.

  ‘You…finish off and…your seed goes into…well it goes inside the lady and, erm sometimes meets her egg. If this happens and your…er…seed fertilises the egg, nine months down the line we've got a baby Theodore on our hands.’

  Pulling himself together, Lord William injected some authority back into his voice.

  ‘Stop laughing, all three of you! This is serious! Theodore, I don't want you making babies with Catherine Lorimer; God knows, you can barely look after yourself.’ Theo would have argued that point, but he knew that if he tried to speak he would just have dissolved into helpless laughter.

  ‘Right, Theodore, the trick is to stop your sperm getting to Catherine's egg, and that's where the condom comes in. Have a look at it. How do you think it works?’

  Theo examined the condom, then started to blow it up like a balloon.

  ‘NO!’ roared Lord William as all three of his offspring rolled on the floor, crying with laughter. ‘I wish I'd worn one of these things myself a bit more often. Give it here, Theodore!’ Prising the condom out of his son's hand, Lord William commanded him to, ‘Watch!’

  ‘Right, Theodore. You put the condom on like so.’ Using the carrot, Lord William demonstrated how to put on a condom. ‘Once it's on, nice and secure, you can go ahead and have sex. Your semen collects in the condom, which you carefully dispose of afterwards. It doesn't reach Catherine's egg, and we don't have any silly accidents. Do you understand?’

  ‘Yes, Your Lordship,’ replied Theo, his voice wobbly with laughter. ‘I put the condom on the carrot and there'll be no baby Theodores.’

  ‘Oh for God's sake!’ Thoroughly exasperated, Lord William threw the carrot at his son before stomping from the room, leaving his children rolling around, screaming with laughter, on the family-room floor.

  When Theo looked back on this incident it always seemed to him that it marked the end of normal life – if his life could ever have been called normal. The next day, everything went horrible.

  As Theo and Cathie were getting intimate in London the day after Boxing Day, things were already getting rather horrible in Applethwaite. Lysander was brought back down to earth with a bump having checked his phone first thing and found a message from Lord William that had gone ignored since the previous afternoon.

  ‘Get back to London, Trevelyan! Immediately!’

  Nervous that he'd already let time elapse before obeying His Lordship's command, Lysander began packing his things and preparing to leave, all under the accusatory eye of Louis.

  ‘I thought you were staying for a few days, Dad.’

  ‘I can't, Louis; I've got to go back to London.’

  ‘You said you'd stay!’ said Louis in an unusual fit of petulance. ‘You said you'd watch me train today. You said you wouldn't check your phone…’

  This was all true. Carried away by the free beer and the warm, Unsponsored camaraderie, Lysander had declared the previous afternoon that he wouldn't check his phone for a few days.

  ‘Let His Lordshit wait!’ he'd yelled, basking in the approval of Louis and the other Unsponsored. However, in the cold light of day, Lysander had a change of heart.

  ‘How will it help anyone if I antagonise His Lordship…shit…’

  ‘Once a Sponsor, always a Sponsor,’ grumbled Louis, before hitting on a previously unvoiced thought.

  ‘Did you know His Lordshit was drugging Mum?’

  Lysander froze. He'd hoped he was going to get away without anyone thinking of that question.

  ‘Louis…’ he pleaded.

  ‘Just bloody answer, Sponsor!’ snapped Louis, in an extremely bad mood by now.

  ‘I won't lie to you…’

  ‘That'll make a refreshing change!’

  ‘LET ME SPEAK! I knew to start with. I was commissioned by His Lordshit to court your mother, win her affections, get one of the Scheme's main critics off our case…’

  ‘You bastard!’

  ‘Thank you, Louis. Thank you for hearing me out, then coming to a measured and intelligent conclusion. You're young. You're impetuous, just like I was then…’

  ‘There's no comparison! There's no way I'd let anything bad happen to Abi…’

  ‘You've got the benefit of hindsight, Louis. I didn't. I'll admit I thought the Scheme was the be all and end all, but…BUT…’ Lysander held up a hand to hush his son, ‘I did fall in love with your mother. I love her to this day. She knows that, she knows the truth. I don't want us to part on bad terms again, Louis. I love you too…’

  ‘YOU GOT MY MOTHER HOOKED ON DRUGS!’ yelled Louis, totally losing control and making Sarah pop her head into the family room to see what was going on. ‘Sarah, it was him…’

  ‘I've got to go, Louis. I haven't time to put up with your histrionics.’

  Walking out with his bag, Lysander packed it into the boot of his car and turned to find his wife at his side.

  ‘You've told him,’ she said simply.

  ‘Yes. Please try to explain. I'm so sorry, Nik…’

  ‘I know,’ said Nicola. ‘I know that, silly. Go on, get away! I'll deal with our Louis.’

  Kissing her husband and reassuring him that she did love him, Nicola then turned and went back inside the house. Not only was it freezing cold outside, she also realised that her son needed calming down with immediate effect.

  ‘Louis,’ she said, entering the family room and finding Louis chatting animatedly to Sarah. Leaping up, Louis flung his arms around his mother.

  ‘Mum! I can't believe that bastard…’

  ‘Shut up, Louis!’ said Nicola sharply, shocking Louis into obeying. ‘Don't ever talk about your father with that lack of respect again! NO!’ she continued as Louis tried to interrupt. ‘Lysander gave me my first drugs. He was young and naive, torn between loving me and wanting to do well in the Scheme. He didn't realise what they were, thought they were some super new vitamins. By the time he did realise it was too late. His Lordshit's doctors kept me supplied. Hopelessly addicted, I kept taking the drugs. I'm so sorry, darling, I've been a useless mother. I was off my head by the time you were born, let alone Jenny…’

  ‘You were drugged, Mum. It wasn't your fault. Why didn't he stop it?’

  ‘Lysander was told I was ill. He was told that the so-called doctors were keeping me sane; actually they were supplying me with drugs. It was only when you and Gideon intervened…Well, you know the rest.’

  Louis was silent for a while, packing his kit into his bag to resume his training for the Games. Finally another thought struck him.

  ‘Why did His Lordshit's doctors treat you? Why not Jess?’

  ‘Jess is a GP. His Lordshit told Lysander that the Sponsor doctors were specialists, that I'd probably do something stupid without their care. Look, Louis darling, your father's begged me for forgiveness and I've forgiven him. I love him. He loves me. We move on from here…’

  ‘But…’

  ‘LOUIS! We move on! Avenging Dory is the priority now; the future not the past.’

  ‘I'm not happy now about him knowing about Dory's Avengers, what if he…’

  ‘Darling, he won't. I know you're
angry, Louis, but your dad loves you. I love you, and we're both so proud of you. Now get off to training before Gideon skins you alive!’

  Still fuming, Louis kissed his mother and Sarah then headed for Gideon's studio.

  ‘You're late…’ began Gideon when Louis walked through the door, but Louis stopped him.

  ‘Shut up, Gid, I'm not in the mood. You've not got a monopoly on bad tempers, you know.’

  No more would Louis say until he'd changed and warmed up then, in between complex moves on the parallel bars, the whole tale came out.

  ‘I can't believe she still loves him,’ said Louis, landing neatly on the floor at the end of his routine.

  ‘How much would you forgive Abilene?’

  ‘Abi would never…’

  ‘Nor did Lysander! I admit I hated the fact that Nik was falling for a Sponsor, but he loved her, Louis. He still does.’

  ‘But he…’

  ‘Made a mistake! Everyone makes mistakes, Louis.’

  ‘I can't believe you're sticking up for him, Gid…’

  ‘Stop calling me Gid, Louis! Just because you're cross doesn't give you special dispensation.’

  ‘Oh piss off…’

  ‘GET ON THOSE RINGS AND SHOW ME SOME GYMNASTICS!’ roared Gideon.

  Louis's day continued to deteriorate. His training got worse and worse; at one point he nearly twisted his ankle through lack of concentration, earning him another blast of abuse.

  ‘I TOLD YOU NOT TO GET PISSED SO MUCH!’

  ‘It's nothing to do with Christmas; I've got a lot on my mind…’

  ‘BULLSHIT! It's because you're full of food and beer! You need to concentrate, or I'm not training you anymore. I'm not having my name associated with you if this is the sort of performance you'll put on at the Games…’

  ‘Oh, fuck off, Gideon!’

  ‘TREVELYAN!’

  Labouring his way miserably through his training, Louis admitted to himself that he had put on weight over Christmas. When Gideon let him call it a day, Louis finally started to calm down, and resolved during his shower to apologise to his mentor. Unfortunately, Gideon had gone by the time Louis had washed and changed. Locking up carefully, if a little bit miserably, Louis set off to fetch Jenny from a friend's house. The first person he encountered on the Main Street was Abi, and his spirits lifted for a second until he noticed the tension in her body as she stared across the road at the Applethwaite Guesthouse.

  ‘More spies, darling?’ he asked, seeing a hive of activity on the guesthouse's forecourt as cars were unloaded.

  ‘Dyer,’ she replied in a hiss, as a loathsome voice called from the other side of the street.

  ‘Miss Farrell! Silly me, I should have brought flowers for your daddy's grave…’

  Furious, Louis started across the street towards Dyer.

  ‘LOUIS!’ screamed Abi. ‘Leave it! He's not worth it.’

  ‘Oh hello, Whitey,’ said Dyer in delight. ‘Didn't see you there in the snow.’

  Seeing Abi restraining her boyfriend, Dyer started enjoying himself even more.

  ‘Miss Farrell, it can be MURDER keeping these boys in check, can't it? What's with the testosterone overdose, Whitey? Making up for the lack of pigment?’

  ‘Louis, no, don't rise to him…’ began Abi, holding Louis back once again as he tried to get across the road, yelling that Dyer was a piece of shit.

  ‘I'll let that go, Whitey, as you're His Lordship's new plaything. I'm a generous man…Ooooof!’

  So intent was Dyer in baiting Louis and Abi he hadn't noticed a little, wild-haired whirlwind approach until her boot made violent content with his groin.

  ‘That one's for my dad, fuckwit,’ screamed Matilda. ‘And it's just the start.’

  Matilda sprinted away while Dyer was still doubled up in pain, her laughter echoing around the village street. No longer enjoying his encounter with Abi Farrell, Dyer yelled at his fellow thugs to take it out on Louis Trevelyan.

  ‘Get the albino twat, you idiots! He started it…’

  ‘Mr Dyer, His Lordship won't like that. Stick to the plan, eh? They'll soon learn!’

  Regaining his composure a little as he remembered the fun in store for the thugs’ time in Applethwaite, Dyer smirked across the road at Abi and Louis.

  ‘Yeah, let's behave with some dignity,’ he said with unconscious irony. ‘You'll learn, Unsponsored scum!’

  Disappearing into the Applethwaite Guesthouse, jeering loudly, the Sponsor thugs left Louis and Abi very shaken.

  ‘Come on, Louis,’ said Abi gently, her love for her hotheaded boyfriend overwhelming her as she put her arms around him and led him off to collect Jenny.

  The appearance of the Sponsor thugs dampened the mood of everyone in Applethwaite, apart from the irrepressible Matilda. Delighted at having had an unexpected chance to inflict some pain on the loathsome Dyer, she told the tale to anyone who'd listen long into the night.

  ‘Matilda, do take care, my love,’ said Alan, concern for his daughter overcoming his own impetuous nature.

  ‘I did it for you, Dad, and it's just the tip of the iceberg,’ replied Matilda, leaping to her father's side and hugging him tight. ‘Dex approves, don't you, darling?’

  ‘Yes and no, Matty,’ said Dex, looking fondly at Matilda, whom he loved dearly.

  ‘Boring! Dex agrees with his boyfriend, again!’ said Matilda, rolling her eyes in mock exasperation.

  ‘Yes, I agree with my boyfriend. No, not boring; it's because we both love you. Don't let Dyer…’

  Turning away, the normally calm Dex found himself a bit overwhelmed.

  ‘Dex, I love you too. Loads and loads! I'll be careful I promise, but I can't resist hurting that scumbag…’

  The day after Abi's encounter with Dyer, Louis resumed his training with a renewed focus, having put his tantrum at his father behind him, and Gideon praised him for his improved concentration.

  ‘Good job, Louis,’ he said at the end of the day. ‘Carry on like that and you'll soon shift all that Christmas fat.’

  Louis, having returned to his usual good-natured self, just patted his muscular stomach and grinned at Gideon.

  The Sponsor thugs were still casting their evil eye over the village, but everyone tried their best to carry on as normal. Louis's training soon got back to its usual frenetic pace, and the more he focused on his beloved gymnastics the more his anger with his father dissipated. A couple of days after his big row with Lysander, Louis sat down to talk things over a lot more calmly with Nicola.

  ‘I've been thinking, Mam. I really think Dad's trying to make amends…’

  Not letting him say any more, Nicola hugged her son and kissed him soundly.

  ‘Darling, you're right. Your father's not a bad man. He's been entrenched in the Scheme for so long, and now doesn't know how to get out. The worst he's been is naive sometimes; he's a good man. He loves us, Louis. He loves us so much.’

  Louis was eternally thankful that he'd had this conversation with Nicola, coming when it did. The next day he kissed his mother goodbye before heading off to training, looking forward to her coming to watch him after she'd put some washing on. Sarah had already left to collect Gideon and drive him to the studio, before she and Jenny headed off to the January sales in Carlisle. Louis felt pretty cheerful and optimistic about the forthcoming New Year as he met up with Gideon. Later, he searched his memory for any feeling of foreboding, but every time came to the same conclusion; he had no idea of the horror to come.

  Nicola, too, was feeling content as she sorted out the washing, loving the fact that she could now help Sarah with the running of the house. Earphones plugged in, she was listening to her favourite songs on her MP3 player and singing along tunelessly, so she never heard Lord William's thugs entering her house. Even though she knew the thugs were in town, Nicola hadn't locked the door, thinking she'd be out and on her way within minutes.

  ‘Silly cow!’ said Dyer, laughing as he and his thugs entered the house, bold as brass
, by the unlocked front door. ‘Talk about sealing her own fate.’

  Nicola, coming down the stairs with a basket of washing, took a second to register the scene in front of her: Dyer and the rest of the thugs waiting in her hallway, some with baseball bats, all with nasty smirks.

  ‘Hello, Mrs Trevelyan,’ began Dyer, before noticing the earphones in Nicola's ears.

  ‘Oh dear, Mrs Trevelyan. Door unlocked. Can't hear us…’

  The basket of dirty washing suddenly flew down the stairs, hitting Dyer in the face as Nicola ran back upstairs. As soon as she'd turned and run, Nicola realised her mistake. Where could she go from here? Sooner or later Dyer and his thugs would find her. Deciding she couldn't bear to be dragged from her children's bedrooms, Nicola headed for her own room. She was almost at the door of the room she'd shared with Lysander for so many years, the room in which both her children had been conceived, before an arm wound round her neck.

  ‘Got her, Mr Dyer,’ called the thug, dragging the struggling Nicola back into the midst of his companions. Walking up to Nicola, Dyer kicked her soundly in the stomach then punched her face, breaking her jaw with one blow.

  ‘Very silly move, that washing basket thing,’ said Dyer, as the sounds of cheerful music still came from Nicola's headphones. ‘Goodbye, Nicola. Should have stuck with the drugs…’

  Louis was executing a difficult routine on the rings with his usual unconscious skill when the studio door opened. Looking over with a smile, expecting to see Nicola arriving to watch Louis train, Gideon was surprised to see a wild-eyed and distressed Jess Donatelli instead.

  ‘Jess…?’ began Gideon, but Louis had already dropped to the ground and was at Jess's side in an instant.

  ‘Louis,’ Jess said, starting to cry. ‘Louis my darling, oh Louis…’

  ‘What the bloody hell's happened?’ asked Gideon, panic overwhelming him.

  ‘Thugs, Louis… your house…,’ Jess managed eventually.

  ‘Oh no!’ Louis ran through the door into the cold December day still in his gym kit. Grabbing Gideon's chair, Jess wheeled him off after Louis as fast as possible, and the unusual convoy attracted attention as it made its way through the village. By the time Jess and Gideon got back to the Trevelyan household, they had been joined by the Montfiores, Alan, Matilda and a good many other people. Within minutes Chris and Abi arrived too, Jess having phoned Chris hysterically on her way to Gideon's studio.