Up to Me (Shore Secrets)

by Christi Barth

  “I see you started the party without me.”

  She whirled around as the door snicked shut behind Gray. “No. More like I didn’t clean up at the end of my work day.”

  A smile teased up the corners of his mouth. “That doesn’t sound nearly as sexy.”

  “How’d you get in?”

  “Brooke let me in, then locked up as she left.”

  Figured she’d do what little she could to play matchmaker. Brooke had offered no less than an even dozen times in as many months to set Ella up with an online dating profile. She’d never met a hot man she didn’t want to either date or pair off with a girlfriend. “What are you doing here?”

  “We have a date.”

  “Do we? I mean, do we still?” Uncertain, only certain that she was ill at ease, Ella moved to put the wide massage table between them. As a barrier or a shield, she wasn’t sure which.

  The smile fell off his face with the speed of a cannonball dropped from the top of a skyscraper. “Because I skipped yoga with you this morning.”

  Ella of two years ago, or even two months ago, would’ve waved off his comment. Would’ve stepped back from the confrontation. Wouldn’t have mustered the energy to push back. But that version of Ella was gone. Banished for good with, ironically, Gray’s help. So she stood her ground. “Well, yes. You didn’t so much skip yoga as you stood me up. I know men have different pre-date rituals from women, but let me clue you in. That was rude.”

  “I know. Thoughtless and rude and unintentionally hurtful. Which is actually why I came by now. I wanted to apologize. To clear the air so that we could put it behind us before our date.”

  She crossed her arms. Suddenly quite sure she’d enjoy the groveling about to ensue. “Go ahead.”

  Gray cocked his head. “But I just...no, you’re right. I need to apologize, not just state my intent.” He scrubbed at the back of his neck. “The thing is, I...I uh, got a call from work.”

  “In the middle of your vacation?”

  That set off his pacing. From the deep shower stall with sixteen individual heads to the deep soaking tub, then across in a diagonal to the door. The space was large for a treatment room, but small enough for a man of Gray’s size to resemble a caged jaguar.

  “My work...it’s complicated. Anyway, it was bad news. Put me in a foul mood. Not the let’s talk about it and things will work out kind of mood.”

  “A dark, brooding mood?” she guessed.

  “Exactly. I didn’t want to shake my shit off onto you. So I took off. Went for a run. Figured I’d sweat it out. Then I’d missed yoga, and I knew you were with clients for the rest of the day. Made sure to swing back as soon as you closed for the day so I could apologize.”

  “Still waiting for that to happen, actually.”

  “I know. Look, I don’t want to make an excuse. I just wanted you to know how it came about. But it was a poor choice. To not even let you know. I’m sorry. It was stupid. I let my temper run away with me. Literally.”

  The shock of messy hair hanging over his forehead, the hangdog expression, combined with the hint of a grin was all it took. “You’re forgiven.”

  “Thank you.” Gray moved closer, till his thighs butted up against the table. Looked at her with an expression she couldn’t quite nail down in the shadows.

  Suddenly nervous, Ella pointed at the door. “Now go away. I’ve got to finish up here and then go primp. Our date doesn’t officially start for another hour.”

  His grin widened. “Says who?”

  “Well, ah, we did. Dinner at seven. I made the reservation in the main dining room.” And she’d be ready at seven. Right now, Ella was far from ready. No spritzes of her favorite perfume. No artfully tousled waves in her hair. Most of all, no time to quell her ridiculous fears as to whether or not she’d be good enough for Gray. No chance to remind herself that although it had been three long years since her last horizontal date, sex was like a bicycle. You just hopped on and screamed your head off during the ride.

  Gray reached across to trail a finger down her arm, leaving goose bumps in its wake. “I’m not hungry.” His hand closed around hers. Instinct curled Ella’s fingers tight. But then she wondered—for a brief flash—if sheer instinct would be enough to make Gray happy. Which wouldn’t even have popped into her brain if she’d had the next hour to indulge in a pep talk with the mirror. Instead, Ella tried to deflect. To get back that hour of prep time she so desperately needed.

  “Joel’s making us his famous Gruyère soufflé.”

  “I’m sure some other lucky customer will take it.” It didn’t even take much of a stretch as he lifted one knee, then the other onto the massage table. More of a smooth movement, like that damned jaguar she’d just compared him to. Except this time he resembled the sleek cat in hunting mode, about to pounce on its prey. With his other hand, he used his knuckles to stroke from her cheekbone straight down the side of her neck.

  “Gray, what are you doing?”

  “Living in the moment.” His voice had dropped to a husky growl. One that resonated through Ella once he used the hand at her neck to pull her closer and put his mouth at her ear. “And this moment’s got candles, a convenient bed, mood music and a sexy woman. You do the math.”

  “I suck at math.”

  “I don’t.” Gray nipped at her earlobe, then kept right on going, his mouth following the path his knuckles had just traced as a shudder ran through her.

  “Are we really doing this? Now, I mean?”

  The question stilled his movement. Gray eased back until their joined hands were the only parts touching. “Depends on who you’re asking, I guess. Me? All I do is think about making love to you. I want to do it now. I’ll want to do it in two hours if you want to wait until after Joel’s famous soufflé. As far as I can tell, there won’t ever be a time when the thought of being inside you does less than turn my dick to pure steel.” He let go and sat back on his heels. “The real question? The question I need to hear the answer to before touching one more inch of that satiny skin is, do you want to do this? Now, I mean?”

  Laughter burbled out. All this time, all their talks, all the kisses, and he’d still managed to bring it back around and give her the choice. Give her the upper hand when it counted the most. And that relaxed her more than a double shot of Ward’s best blueberry vodka. “So you’re saying it’s all up to me? Again?”

  “Exactly.”

  This man wasn’t just special. Gray was one in a million. How stupid would it be to throw away a single second of happiness with him? Flying high on the joy of making the decision by herself, for herself, Ella’s fears vanished.

  “I do want to do this. I want to do you,” she said boldly. “Right here, right now.”

  “As you wish.” Gray gave a flourishy imitation of a bow. If he’d been dressed as one of the Musketeers—or at least had a feather-plumed hat in his hand—it would’ve been impressive. Now it just looked like he was trying to crack his wrist. Oh, and it made her giggle. He vaulted off the table. Then glared at her. “You dare laugh at my courtly gesture?” Now he’d added on a really bad British accent. Along with his deep frown, it only made Ella giggle harder.

  A split second later, it hit her. Gray was making her laugh on purpose. He’d noticed her nervousness from before and was trying to lighten the mood. Trying to put her at ease. Half-assed bows aside, he sure looked like a prince among men to her.

  “Let’s just say it doesn’t translate well without a cloak and about a dozen courtiers behind you.” She eased around the table, neither wanting nor needing space between them anymore. “How about I make a gesture of my own to kick things off?”

  Gray’s face relaxed back into an easy smile. “Whatever you want.”

  “It’s true that Joel’s soufflé is a symphony of flavors and textures on the tongue. But you kno
w what?” Ella reached for the dimmer switch and lowered the lights even more. “He’s my employee. I can get him to make us one any old time.”

  Good thing Joel wasn’t nearby to hear her so grandiosely offer to boss him around. But she felt audacious, fueled by Gray’s obvious desire. She could always bribe or beg Joel into making the soufflé again. After enduring a tongue-lashing for wasting tonight’s precious version of it.

  “Like I said, I’m not so much hungry. Not for food, anyway.” He snaked out an arm to catch her, but Ella darted out of his reach.

  “I’m okay with skipping dinner, too. We don’t need the fancy meal or the expensive bottle of wine. We don’t need the hours of verbal foreplay.” A few turns of the wheel switched the music over to the mix she used when giving couples massages. Lots of Pink Martini and sultry French jazz. Songs that thrummed a beat straight into the blood. She lit three more candles, scented with ylang-ylang, a soft and flowery aphrodisiac. Then Ella perched on the low stool to remove her teal sneakers. “All we need is to get naked, as quickly as possible.”

  Gray grabbed her hand before she could unbutton the first of the long row down the front of her teal-and-white-striped shirt. “What’s your rush?”

  Um, wasn’t he the guy who’d just climbed on top of a table to get his hands on her? Ella was darn sure that she wasn’t the only one burning up with need. But, okay, she’d spell it out for him. If that’s what it took to get him to shuck those running shorts, she’d write it out a hundred times on a piece of paper. She clasped her other hand around his and craned her neck up to stare straight into those deep, dark eyes, turned pure indigo in the shadows.

  “I want you, Gray. And I haven’t wanted anyone this much in a very, very long time.”

  His hand tightened. Just this side of pain, he clenched so hard. “I want you, too, Ella. If you only knew how much, how I’d risk everything to be with you—”

  “There’s no risk. I’m a sure thing,” she stated with a laugh.

  “Not at all,” he said, his tone surprisingly serious. He dropped to his knees, bringing his head even with hers. “But I will do my damnedest to make you sure that you’ve made the right decision.”

  Gray’s words verged on freaking her out. What was with the second-guessing? Now it was her turn to lighten the mood. “Have you ever successfully brought a woman to orgasm?”

  It took six rapid blinks of those crazy-long dark eyelashes before he managed to answer. “What the...of course! Not just one woman. Every single one I make love to walks away satisfied. This is about mutual pleasure.”

  Ella put a finger to his lips to stop him from continuing his defense. “I don’t want to count the notches on your bedpost. I just wanted to remind you that you’ve got the basic technique down. Which means I won’t ever regret a moment of our time together. As long as you quit stalling and get on with it.”

  A double blink. Then he wrapped both arms tight around her back as his lips claimed hers. The move pulled her forward to the edge of the stool. Until, a moment later, the force and eagerness of his embrace pushed the whole stool back until it stopped flush with the wall.

  Ella didn’t care. She wouldn’t have cared if he rolled her all the way out into the lobby. Gray could do anything as long as he kept kissing her with such ferocity. It left no doubt about how much he wanted her. His tongue swept into her mouth, and corresponding shivers of delight swept through her body. There it was—the matching hunger, the naked lust. Ella wrapped her legs tight around his waist and entangled her fingers in his hair. Wished with all her might that there weren’t two layers of clothes between all their body parts, which were currently touching.

  Ripping his mouth away, Gray growled against her neck. “You brought a match to a bonfire. You ready to burn up?”

  “Too late. I already am.”

  Sliding his hands to her ass, he lifted her and set her on top of the massage table. His deft fingers made quick work of the top button of her shirt. Then the second. And then he looked down at the row of at least twenty more. Shook his head. Using both hands, he ripped her shirt apart, buttons tinkling against the wall in counterpoint to Ella’s surprised laughter.

  In a blur of speed, regret crossed her mind at not having had a chance to change into sexy lingerie. Or at least, if not sexy, at least something more colorful than her current plain white bra. But Gray didn’t seem to mind. He pushed what was left of her shirt down her shoulders, eyes never straying from her chest.

  “You’re so beautiful,” he said in a hushed, reverent tone. With one finger, he traced along the top of the cups before unfastening it and dropping it behind the table. “I can’t tell if I’d rather stare at you, or touch you.”

  “Two breasts, in case you haven’t noticed. That means you can do both things at the same time.”

  “Smart and beautiful,” Gray corrected himself with a grin. And he proceeded to do just that. Palmed one breast, rubbing wide circles with his thumb, while flat out devouring the other. The flat of his tongue laved across her nipple slowly, arced around, came back to flick at it, quick and hard.

  Ella didn’t know which she liked better. But she was more than happy let him keep alternating while she tried to decide which version of sensual amazingness could possibly be more fantastic. But then he planted his lips around her nipple and sucked. Hard. While his tongue did something she could only describe as semi-orgasmic at the same time. Whatever the technical term, it translated to hot pulses of passion zinging to her core. She dropped her head back and let loose a moan.

  “Like that, do you?”

  Moistening her suddenly dry lips, Ella said, “I’d call it a good start.”

  “And you’d be right. Because this is only the beginning.”

  Hmm. Good and bad news. Good, because she couldn’t wait to see what he did next. Bad, because Ella was already so worked up that it didn’t seem at all improbable she could come at any second, with just one more kiss from him.

  In that way peculiar to men, Gray grabbed the back of his collar and whipped his shirt up and off. Kicked his running shoes into a corner and tossed his socks in the same general direction. Stuck his thumbs in the waistband of her white, gauzy skirt and tugged it over her hips. Ella lifted up just enough to let him scoot it out from underneath her to puddle on the floor.

  This shouldn’t have felt any more naked than when they’d been in the pool together. But it did. Maybe because she knew they were about to get a whole lot more naked. Or maybe it was the way the candlelight flickered shadows across his broad muscles. The quiet intimacy of the small room, the only sound their panting, the low music and the sputtering of the wicks.

  So Ella had one more moment of hesitation as he stood there, looking his fill with wide, appreciative eyes. And then she promptly slapped her self-conscious silly. This wasn’t some random hook-up just to banish the ghost of three years of celibacy. Gray was a man she knew well. A man with a quick brain and a good heart who cared for her. The man she’d fallen in love with, despite the unassailable fact she’d probably have to wave goodbye to him in a handful of days. This was miles away from being just sex. It was making love, and there was no way she’d waste another second of it with self-doubt.

  Ella slowly trailed her hands down his chest. From sharp collarbone, across defined pecs to linger in the line of dark hair along his sternum. Then she spread her hands wider to fully take in the six-pack effect of his abs. Raked her nails across that tanned skin just to make him shiver.

  He looped his arm around her legs and lifted them onto the heated table. Gray gently unknotted the scarf around her ponytail. Combed through the strands with his fingers, eyes closed and a half smile on his face. Rubbed them against his cheek, inhaling deeply. Then he pressed her down, spreading her hair out across the pillow.

  Eyes flying open, he asked, “Stupid question. But I’m pretty desperate, and I
didn’t plan on doing this right now.” Gray shot a wild glance from the cabinets over to the corner shelf unit. “I don’t suppose you stock condoms in here?”

  Funny. Timing really was everything. “Normally, no. But we do in the room where we give couples massages. I’d planned to restock and hadn’t made it there yet. So there’s about twenty in that glazed clay bowl on the counter.”

  He padded over, grabbed one and tore a strip off the top of the package with his teeth before tossing onto the edge of the table. “That ought to hold us—until tomorrow.”

  “I like this goal-oriented side of you.”

  “Then you’re going to love what happens next.” Gray pulled off her panties, turning the simple act of undressing into a lingering, sensual caress of both her legs. To her surprise, he walked back to the counter and rustled around.

  “Uh, nobody called for a time-out.”

  “Just getting prepped. Now close your eyes and roll over.”

  Ella complied, thoroughly confused. She pillowed her cheek on her hands and wondered what on earth he planned to do. And how long it would postpone him from being inside her, which she so fervently desired right now.

  “You work so hard, Ella. People care about you, but I don’t see that anyone cares for you. I told you on our first official date I wanted to make you feel special. This won’t be near as good as one of yours, so I hope you cut me a little slack. A solid hour of watching YouTube videos didn’t come close to making me an expert.”

  Well-oiled hands softly stroked down her back. Ella arched into his touch. Back up he went, then down lower all the way over the curve of her ass. Up to her shoulders, where he used his thumbs on the solid knot of muscles corded across her shoulders. It felt...heavenly.