Ideas for Comedy Writers

by Dave Haslett

  The

  ideas4writers

  ideas collection

  Genre Fiction:

  Comedy

  by

  Dave Haslett

  ideas4writers

  www.ideas4writers.co.uk

  Copyright © Dave Haslett 2013

  Kindle edition published in Great Britain in 2013

  by ideas4writers, 2a New Street, Cullompton, Devon, EX15 1HA

  www.ideas4writers.co.uk

  The right of Dave Haslett to be identified as the author of this work has been asserted by him in accordance with the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988

  All rights reserved

  The contents of this work may not be stored, copied, transmitted, sold, or reproduced in any form without the permission of the publisher.

  You may use or modify the ideas in this collection in any way that you wish, to aid and inspire your writing. Writing inspired by these ideas may be published, sold or otherwise distributed in any way that you wish. You may not distribute or sell the ideas themselves.

  The characters Stan and Martha Bean and their various friends, neighbours and adventures are the intellectual property of Dave Haslett and may not be used in your writing. They appear in this collection for illustrative purposes only.

  ‘He’ is used throughout the text rather than he/she or they, purely for convenience and grammatical correctness, and by convention. No gender bias or disrespect is intended. Please feel free to replace he with she.

  Glossary

  Antagonist: villain – the opposing main character

  Confidante: trusted friend – someone the hero can bounce ideas around with or reveal secrets to

  Love interest: lover – usually of the protagonist

  Protagonist: hero/heroine – main character

  1. Absurd situations.

  Try making a list of the most absurd situations you can think of. Pick the best ones and put your main character in them in your next story. Then make him suddenly realise the absurdity of it all. Everything started out perfectly normal and straightforward, but one thing led to another (quite naturally and logically – or so it seemed at the time). And now he finds himself dressed as a parrot, directing traffic during the rush hour, and simultaneously phoning shops to try to locate a giant inflatable pizza (or whatever situations you cam up with). It all made perfect sense – until he stopped to think about it. And now he realises that it’s completely absurd. So what will he do? Will he carry on and see it through to the bitter end, just as he promised he would? Or will he decide that the whole thing is just too ridiculous, and stop?

  2. All is not what it seems.

  Hidden camera shows are just as popular now as they were when they first started. And there are plenty of variations. But you can use the same basic set-up in a story too. Just put your characters in a difficult situation and have them struggle to understand and overcome it. Then reveal to them, or to your readers, or both, that the situation wasn’t what they thought it was – they were perfectly safe all along. Suddenly a serious thriller or horror story becomes a comedy, and everything that happened in the story is seen in a different light.

  Although this might seem rather frivolous, the way the characters react to what they think is a real and dangerous situation can be very telling. And the way your readers react can be equally telling. This is one of the biggest factors in how good your story is. The other factor is how good your punch line is. Your readers will probably groan at the end, but that’s all part of the fun.

  If you’re really clever you’ll drop hints throughout the story that all is not as it seems. So when the truth is revealed it doesn’t just come out of nowhere – because that might be seen as cheating.

  [EXAMPLE] This story seems to be about a civil war. The characters speak in a foreign language and the words are unfamiliar. Two people meet; one of them says something and the other answers. Depending on what the answer is, the result is a hug, a dismissal, or a bitter fight. This is repeated with different characters, but the question always seems to be the same, and the answer always leads to one of those three outcomes. Only at the end do you translate what they’re really saying: the first person is asking the other person which football team he supports.

  3. Amateur dramatics.

  The field of amateur dramatics presents endless scope for comedy. How about turning it into a sitcom or a novel?

  Think of the characters, such as the former soap star who now lives in the village and arrives for rehearsals in a stretch limo with an entourage of followers; naturally she has all her lines memorised within a day of being given her part – or maybe she doesn’t. Or how about the dyslexic who gets some of the words wrong – and they’re always the funniest ones, so lots of double-entendres and so on.

  Then there are the stories, such as the newer, more progressive members who want to bring in a dynamic young producer, while the old hands want to keep the elderly woman who’s been doing the job since the group first started. Or there could be a last-minute copyright problem with the play they’re about to perform. The actors heroically learn new lines for a different play, but they have to wear the costumes intended for the first one because there wasn’t enough time to make new ones. If you’ve had any involvement in amateur dramatics at all you’ll know that the possibilities for comedy are virtually endless. And that’s just as well, because if your sitcom runs for 25 years or more you’re going to need an awful lot of storylines!

  4. Am-dram sketch show.

  How about getting together with your local amateur dramatics society and arranging to perform a short comedy sketch show before their next performance or during the interval? You could bring along your own actor friends to help perform it, or use the society’s own actors if they agree. You probably won’t get paid, unless the group agrees to give you a percentage from the ticket sales. But at least you’ll get to see your work performed and you’ll gain useful experience and audience feedback. You could always get someone to pass round a collecting tin at the end of your sketch show. The more you made the audience laugh, the more you’ll get paid.

  It doesn’t have to be a sketch show, of course. It could be a monologue, or a stand-up performance, or some funny poems or songs, or something else that you’ve written.

  5. Are you funny?

  Make sure other people find your jokes as funny as you do. If you read an extract from your work aloud and people start rolling about with tears streaming from their eyes, then you’ll know you’ve got it exactly right. But if they remain impassive then it’s time to worry. You might write fantastic stories, but if you’re the only person who finds them funny then perhaps you shouldn’t try to make them funny in the first place. You’ll gain much more respect as a serious writer than if you pepper your stories with corny jokes that fall flat.

  If you know someone who’s great at making up and telling jokes, consider a partnership deal with him, where you write the story and he put the jokes in. Comedy writing partnerships are very common – the other person can tell you whether your joke is any good or not, and bounce ideas around with you to help improve it.

  6. Background incidents.

  How about adding a few comical background incidents to your stories? There are all sorts of accidents, incidents, tricks, thefts, arrests, mishaps, liaisons, and other things you could put there to make the background of your story hugely entertaining – and much more than just a place where the story happens.

  7. Be prepared.

  It’s a pretty safe bet that if someone asks you what you do and you say you’re a comedy writer, they’re going to say: ‘Go on then, tell us a joke’. Since this is bound to happen, you might as well be prepared for it. Always have at lea
st one absolutely brilliant joke that you keep for this sort of occasion. Not only will you have proved to them that you really are funny, but you’ll leave them laughing. So now they’ll remember you, and pass the word around about how good you are – which is a great advert. Now would be a good time to give them a business card, or sell them a book, or tickets to your next show.

  That one joke could lead to all sorts of things – invitations to perform at corporate functions, stag parties or comedy clubs, or to write for a newspaper or magazine, or who knows what else.

  As well as that one absolute cracker it would be wise to have a few more great jokes committed to memory, just in case they say: ‘Tell us another one’. As a comedy writer you have no excuses – always be prepared. If you’ve written a joke book then you could always read from it, and then sell it to them. (Make sure you’ve always got a few copies with you.)

  8. Black comedy 1.

  If you’d like to write black comedy, try starting with the black part first. Make a long list of depressing or horrific events or circumstances: someone has died in an accident, a diner has had a heart attack in a restaurant, a soldier’s best friend has just died next to him in a trench, and so on. You’ll find plenty of examples just by watching the news or reading newspapers. These are shocking situations where jokes should never (normally) be made. Listing them won’t be pleasant but it needs to be done.

  The next step is to come up with a joke for each item. In black comedy these are often the things people say under these circumstances – especially stereotypical British people who never grumble or complain despite the dreadful things that happen to them. So the wife of the man who’s had the heart attack in the restaurant might say to her companions: ‘At least we won’t have to pay the bill.’ Or ‘It would be a shame to let this spoil the meal, let’s ask for doggy bags.’ See what else you can come up with.

  [TIP] As in the example above, a good way of getting started is to use ‘At least…’

  9. Black comedy 2.

  Another way of writing black comedy is to start with three lists. In the first you list serious circumstances: deaths, accidents, funerals, life-or-death surgery, murder trials, wars, and so on. In the second you list people who might behave unpredictably or inappropriately: foreign tourists who stumble in to ask for directions, drunks, the village idiot, young children, animals, the elderly and confused, an uncle who thinks he’s a comedian (but nobody else does), and so on. In the third you list objects and events – catalysts – and things that if they can go wrong will go wrong: someone might shout out something inappropriate at just the wrong moment, the coffin might have to carried under a ladder and end up covered in paint, one of the pallbearers might not see the open manhole, a golf ball might come flying through the window and hit someone on the head, the curtains might catch fire, the dog (whose water bowl has been spiked with something) might see a cat in the garden and dive through the window – which happens to be closed and two flights up. Taking one item at random from each list should lead to all sorts of comedy ideas – and if you choose them carefully rather than at random they’ll probably be even better.

  [EXTENSION] Try taking two of the best ideas and combine them in a single scene.

  10. Boring.

  Make a list of the ten most boring activities you can think of. For each of them find at least five ways of turning them into humour: ways to avoid them, ways to persuade other people to do them for you, people who are useless at them, people who didn’t do them and regretted it later, people who continue doing them even though they don’t need to, people who actually enjoy them, and so on.

  11. British Society of Comedy Writers.

  The British Society of Comedy Writers aims to promote excellence in comedy writing and light entertainment. Their website is at www.bscw.co.uk – you’ll need to become a member of the society to gain full access. The website includes market information and resources, a list of members, and details of the projects they are currently working on. Members can also post their CVs or résumés on the site.

  12. Brought up by animals.

  You sometimes hear about children who’ve been brought up by wild animals – wolves or monkeys, for example. But what if a child has been brought up by a different sort of animal, such as ostriches, penguins, cows, chickens, sheep, pigs, goats, camels, cats, horses, or dolphins? Who is this child? How did he become separated from his family as a baby? Can he speak or understand the animals’ language? If so, perhaps he could act as an interpreter once he’s been rescued and taught to speak English. How can he be helped to adapt back into human society? Or will he refuse to adapt, or find it impossible to do so? Will he retain some of the animals’ characteristics and mannerisms? What will his life be like when he grows up?

  13. Chain of events.

  By following a logical chain of events you can turn a minor incident into a major one. It gets out of hand so quickly that it becomes cartoon-like. Let’s say that our character is suffering from itchy feet. He discovers that heating them in front of a fire eases the itching, but then he leaves them there too long and his socks catch fire. So he grabs the nearest liquid he can find and throws it over his feet. But unfortunately it isn’t water. The flames grow and spread up his legs. He grabs a curtain to wrap himself in, but it’s highly inflammable and catches fire too. He rolls on the carpet but that’s combustible too, and immediately bursts into flames. In seconds the whole house is on fire. He rushes outside and watches helplessly as his house burns to the ground. A paramedic treats the burns on his feet. And burns, as we all know, itch like crazy when they start to heal. Which takes us back to step one …

  14. Characters – black sheep.

  Imagine that one member of a family is different from all the others. Perhaps he has a sense of humour but the others don’t. Or perhaps his sense of humour is different from theirs. Or perhaps the family are all circus performers – apart from one who’s an accountant. They might stay up late trying to perfect a triple somersault on the trapeze, while he stays up late working on a forecast of their return on capital investment for the next three years. Or perhaps the family are all doctors, saving lives, while one specialises in killing people – a hit-man or a serial killer, or maybe an executioner. Or perhaps in a family of football fanatics there’s one lone rugby or cricket or baseball supporter. You should be able to continue thinking of these situations for hours. They all have terrific comedy potential.

  15. Characters – flaws.

  Comedy characters – even the heroes – tend to have more flaws than their counterparts in other genres. You might like to make a list of possible flaws and then find characters and situations to match.

  Comedy characters are often more eccentric and more ineffectual than others. But they also need other characteristics that make them fully rounded, believable people. They might have good, bad, or difficult relationships with their children, parents, boss, staff, colleagues, and so on. They might love or hate someone or something with unusual passion. Or they might collect something strange.

  16. Characters – meddling busybody.

  How about adding a meddling busybody to your story to deliberately upset the other characters? She might ask awkward questions at precisely the wrong moment, rifle through important documents, disturb evidence, refuse to leave, demand to be taken home when everyone else wants to stay, disrupt people when they’re trying to concentrate, give advice that isn’t wanted, take people to places they don’t want to go, show people what she thinks are clues but plainly aren’t, give away secrets, tell people exactly what she thinks of them – even if they’re VIPS, own animals that get in the way or go missing, and who knows what else.

  She probably doesn’t do anything out of malice (or she might); she just doesn’t consider what effect her actions might have on others. Perhaps her life is simply chaotic, and that chaos spreads to everyone who comes into contact with her. She might not be particularly funny herself, but the problems she causes can turn even the m
ost ordinary situation into a farce.

  On the other hand, she might do some good occasionally. For example, while rescuing her cat from a tree, one of the characters might discover a hidden camera or microphone planted by the villain. What other good things might arise from all the trouble she causes?

  17. Characters – never learn from mistakes 1.

  Consider an employee who makes lots of mistakes but always learns from them. That’s not funny. But now consider our comedy character, who might make fewer mistakes but never learns from them. What might happen if you put them together? Think about the sort of mistakes each character might make. Some will be unimportant – but might still be funny. Some will be more serious – such as misspelling the name of the company (particularly if it sounds rude). And some will be much bigger – and potentially dangerous. Which of the two employees makes the worst mistakes? Perhaps the other employee comes to the rescue – although that might happen by mistake too.

  18. Characters – never learn from mistakes 2.

  What a character learns might not have anything to do with the mistake he made. For example, our character might set off the fire alarm by mistake, but as a result he might learn that the girl in the accounts department is in love with him. There’s no direct connection, but he would never have discovered this if he hadn’t made the mistake.