Damaged and the Saint

by Bijou Hunter

  I walked with him out of the apartment to the elevator. “You were a smug rich boy once. Why all the hate?”

  “No hate. I know how much they need to be shot. All rich boys do. I’m doing them a favor, you see?” he said, giving me a wink.

  Saint’s good mood infected me and I smiled the entire ride to the Johansson house. He parked the SUV behind a dozen others and looked at me.

  “I have to play tough guy during the match.”

  “No problem,” I said, grumpy again. “I wasn’t going to make goo-goo eyes at you the whole time.”

  “Weren’t you?” he said, grinning.

  “I have a rep to protect too.”

  Saint studied me before sighing. “We better go before I decide to ditch this crap and take you somewhere private.”

  Rolling my eyes, I still grinned at how his gaze made me feel like the most stunning woman ever. My vanity didn’t last once Vaughn slopped paint on my face.

  “I’m going to have you hide in the bushes and ambush people,” he whispered, wiping excess paint on his camo pants. “Don’t tell Saint our plan.”

  “Right because it’s such an amazing fucking strategy.”

  Judd laughed. “He’s a horrible leader.”

  “Fine, you be the leader.”

  Judd shrugged. “Harlow, you feel free to run around screaming and drawing them all towards you. We’ll hide and pick them off as they shoot you.”

  Vaughn frowned at me. “Tell him that’s stupid.”

  “I think you’re both stupid, but the only way to prove I’m right is to do one of your plans today and the other one tomorrow. I’ll hide today and prove Vaughn’s an idiot.”

  “The mouth on this one,” Vaughn said to Judd who shook his head in fake disbelief.

  The guys goofed around a bit more before putting on their angry enforcer masks for Cooper who was tense.

  “Be careful. I don’t want you getting hurt,” he said to me.

  “You’re worried about us too, right?” Vaughn asked.

  Cooper shrugged and walked away. Laughing, I pointed at the dissed enforcers. They repaid my laughter by finding me a bush to hide in that smelled like dog crap. Getting comfortable in the hot, stinky hiding spot, I waited for someone to walk by that I could ambush.

  Hiding proved difficult when a guy stopped at my bush to take a piss. I jumped up before he whipped out his hose. Our guns pulled, he had the better shot, but didn’t take it. I pulled the trigger and nailed him in the shoulder.

  “Ow,” Cowboy said, still aiming at me.

  I heard a sound behind me just in time to see Dutch fire his paintball gun. His shot landed against my thigh.

  “Hell, yeah, ow.” I frowned at Cowboy. “Why didn’t you take the shot?”

  “The bush was blocking your thigh,” he said, backing up. “Your scary boyfriend said we could only shoot you in the outer thigh or else he would go Hulk on us.”

  I spotted Judd and Vaughn lurking behind Dutch and Shadow, so I kept talking. “Wait, you don’t think I can handle myself out here just because I’m a girl,” I whined, beginning to fake cry behind my hands.

  The men frowned at me in the way men tended to frown when searching for an off button for a woman’s tears. Before realizing the con, Dutch and Shadow were shot in the backs.

  “See you guys tomorrow,” I said, walking away.

  Vaughn and Judd disappeared back into the woods to hunt more targets. I knew the Three Musketeers remained behind me, but I wasn’t interested in them. No, I was looking to have a talk with my babysitter. While I expected that coddling shit from Vaughn, I couldn’t believe Saint would pull it. We needed to have a chat about putting Harlow in the corner.

  Chapter Twenty Four ~ Saint

  Lenny threw the biggest bitch-fit when the paintball nailed him square between his shoulder blades. I watched him from my hidden spot where I’d shot him. While taking out a guy from my team seemed counterproductive, I’d never been a team player. Besides, Harlow was out in the woods somewhere and no way would I allow Lenny near her.

  From my hiding hole, I shot one of Cooper’s lackeys. More targets might have wandered into my web except the scent of slow cooked meat killed my patience. I decided to stop hiding and searching for a target.

  Walking slowly through the woods, I heard Tucker Johansson’s version of whispering. My footsteps no longer careful, I hurried towards my target. Tucker didn’t see me. He was too focused on Cooper who wanted a shot at the twins. I grinned at their childish need to one-up brothers not so unlike them.

  My shot hit Tucker in the same spot I nailed Lenny. He yelled in surprise then Cooper turned and fired on me. I looked down at the blue spot on my green tee and smiled.

  “I’m getting some barbecue.”

  Cooper frowned while Tucker jumped around pissed that he was out. I left the brothers to their bitching and made the long walk through the woods. Ignoring my compass, I followed the scent of meat until I reached the house.

  On the top deck, Kirk and Jodi worked the grills and slow cooker. Nearby Mikey and Arlo hid under an umbrella while texting on their phones. The Johansson sisters brought the men drinks, playing hostesses to their parents' special guests. Half of the paintball players were already out of the game, but Harlow wasn’t one of them. I took a sandwich and large glass of whiskey tea to a shaded spot and waited for her to appear.

  Clearly pissed, Harlow stomped out of the woods and straight towards me. Despite her irritation, I loved the view. Camo was a good look on her and the faint paint looked sexy as hell.

  “Did you tell those douches they couldn’t shoot me?”

  I patted the bench and she plopped down next to me. “The only spots on your body that can take a shot from a paintball gun without hurting too much are your butt and thighs. I figured you wouldn’t like having a man shoot you in the ass, so I told them outer thighs only.”

  Harlow’s angry pout faded and a smile took its place. “Those guys are bigger, so it’s only fair that I get special treatment,” she said, wiping sweat from her forehead. “So how come you already got knocked out?”

  “I smelled the smoked meat and decided to call it a day. Now, I’m eating. Have a bite.”

  Harlow took the bun and bit into it. Moaning her approval, she smiled at me. “I thought you didn’t share?”

  “You’ve been a bad influence.”

  Her smile made me squirm. She was too open and trusting while I remained closed off and hesitant to share. Leaving her to finish the sandwich, I walked up the stairs to the deck where club guys and their families hung out. I made two sandwiches and another glass of tea. When I returned, Harlow’s face was flushed even more.

  “This has liquor in it,” she said, studying the tea.

  “Yep.”

  “I don’t drink much,” she said, sipping it. “I might act weird and make stupid declarations. If I do, don’t take it personal.”

  Grinning, I set down the food and drink on the picnic table. “I wouldn’t mind going back to the hotel and taking a swim. It’s getting hot as hell. Not humid though.”

  “Was it humid where you grew up?”

  “Yeah,” I said then forced myself to share more. “Grew up in Alabama and Mississippi.”

  Harlow smiled at my confession. “We can swim here.”

  “Lenny is in the pool, splashing around like a dipshit. Claims he’s teaching Sawyer, but she doesn’t look impressed.”

  “I don’t think a whole lot impresses Sawyer Johansson.”

  “No, probably not.”

  “I cheated to help my team.”

  “How do you figure?” I asked, wrapping an arm around her when I noticed Dutch and his buddies appear from the woods.

  “I pretended to cry as a distraction so Vaughn could shoot them. Do you think that’s wrong?” she laughed, clearly not feeling guilty at all.

  “Use what you got. When I’m on a job, I’m not against bending over and using my amazing ass to distract someone.”


  Harlow laughed harder, making me think she was buzzed from the tea. I liked seeing her so calm. My fingers caressed her long throat, causing her to smile in a soft, almost goofy way. Yeah, Harlow was drunk.

  “I like your eyes,” she said, squirming around until kneeling next to me. “They tell sad stories, but make me happy. Does that make sense?”

  “Sure,” I said, running my thumb over her lower lip. “Do you want to blow this place and go back to the apartments while everyone is here. The pool will be empty and we can swim in peace.”

  Harlow grinned. “You really want to see me in my pea green swimming suit, don’t ya?”

  “More than you can know,” I said, kissing the lip I was caressing. “I don’t want to share you with anyone else.”

  “You’re such an only child,” she teased, wobbling to her feet. “I need to learn to hold my liquor better.”

  After shoving the sandwiches into our bags, I wrapped an arm around her shoulders. “Sloppy drunk looks good on you.”

  “Feels good too,” she said, giving me a silly wink.

  I noticed Arlo’s henchman approaching and gave him a fuck you look to make him go away. Reading his short, bloody future if he crossed me, the guy turned around.

  “Ooh, scary,” Harlow whispered, still sipping her whiskey tea. “I like when you make people piss themselves. Really turns me on.”

  “Now, I know you’re drunk,” I said, taking the cup and dumping the tea.

  “Hey, you said drunk was a good look on me.”

  “Yeah, but I want you sober enough to swim.”

  Harlow wrapped her arm around my waist as we walked to the SUV. Like most people, she found confidence through liquor. Less thinking, more doing. Harlow even licked my lips when I helped her into the passenger seat.

  Adjusting my camo pants, I sighed. “If I didn’t know better, I’d think you were a succubus tempting me into hell.”

  “Whatever,” she said, waving me off. “I said the incubus thing first.”

  A smiling Harlow stared out of the window the entire ride back to the apartment. She smiled on the way up the elevator and after she slid into her pea green swimsuit. Her smile grew when she saw me shirtless.

  Walking confidently towards me, she ran her fingers up and down my chest. “I don’t like hairy guys. You’re just right though.”

  “Good to know,” I said, removing her hands. “I think we need to cool you off.”

  Giggling, Harlow kept pawing at me and her touch felt too damn good. My skin wanted more. My fingers itched to explore her soft skin. I wanted to taste it too, but I reminded myself of the men I killed in Arizona and how they stole her innocence.

  Harlow didn’t want to swim. Her hands were in my hair, down my chest, and even tugging at my trunks. Laughing, she kissed whatever part of my body she could reach while I dodged her in the water.

  “You’re saying no and running away, but psychically you’re sending me yes messages.”

  I laughed as she lunged for me. “You’re making me want to take advantage of you.”

  “Do it!” she cried, splashing me. “I dare you to get a taste of this white chocolate.”

  While I laughed again, Harlow frowned at how her comment hadn’t sounded right. Once she got over it, she came at me again. This time, I allowed her to catch me.

  “Your smile guts me,” I said, caressing her wet hair. “Makes me feel like superman and a broken child in the same moment.”

  Harlow stared at me then smiled wider. “Last night, you kissed my breath away. I want you to do it again.”

  Distrusting a sober Harlow would be happy at what drunken Harlow asked from me, I slid my hands over her round butt and squeezed. She immediately stepped back and shoved me.

  “No.”

  “Just checking to make sure you weren’t too drunk to say yes.”

  Harlow frowned darkly, feeling threatened. I cupped her face, caressing her lips with my thumbs.

  “I want to kiss you.”

  “Leave my butt alone,” she said, still pouting even as her hands slid down my arms.

  Leaning down, I whispered, “For now.”

  The second my lips met hers, Harlow moaned into my mouth and her arms wrapped possessively around my neck. When her body pressed against mine, I felt my control slip.

  Lifting her up onto my hips, I kissed her harder, deeper, wanting to own every part of her. Harlow didn’t struggle or say no. I kept my hands away from her ass, instead wrapping her legs around my hips. Apparently, this was acceptable because she grinded against my erection.

  My lips never leaving hers, I waded through the water. Reaching the steps, I rested on them and wrapped her tighter in my arms.

  “Harlow,” I said, prying my lips from hers.

  “Saint,” she whispered, nuzzling my neck with her lips. “Your heart is beating so fast.”

  My lips sucked at her throat, causing her to let out a hungry sigh. Hips rolling fast against mine, Harlow searched for relief. The pressure made my cock so hard I couldn’t think. My hand in Harlow’s beautiful, soft hair, I tightened my grip. Harder, I sucked at her throat while guiding her hips.

  I wasn’t sure how long we moved together until I came. I didn’t even know how long she rolled her hips after I’d finished. All I did understand was I took everything and never considered the consequences.

  “No,” I said, resting her next to me. “Stop.”

  Face flushed and eyes dazed, Harlow stared at me then sighed. “Now my heart is beating so fast.”

  I brushed back her wet hair and basked in the face of a beautiful, fragile woman. She needed me to take care of her, yet I’d lost control. I hoped Harlow would inspire me to be a good man. Instead, the selfish side of me took over.

  “Fuck,” I muttered, standing up and pulling Harlow to her feet. “We need to clean up.”

  “Okay.”

  I refused to look at her on the ride up to the apartment. Sobering up, Harlow crossed her arms over her chest and stared at the ground.

  “After you take a shower,” I said before we reached our floor, “we’ll pack your stuff and I’ll take you home.”

  Harlow didn’t respond to my words. The doors opened and she followed me down the hall and into the apartment. I waited for her to react with anger or sadness. I expected something. Yet disappearing into the bathroom, Harlow denied me a reaction.

  Chapter Twenty Five ~ Harlow

  No way would I beg. Only losers begged for someone’s affection. I wouldn’t do it.

  The hot water sobered me up, scrubbing away the chlorine and arousal from my body. I took my time in the shower. After washing my hair, I let the conditioner sit for a while. I needed time to think.

  I refused to beg Saint for another chance. He wasn’t worth losing my pride. Never would I give him the satisfaction of asking him why. Fuck him and his tragic past and fuck him again.

  So angry that I didn’t even dry off before dressing, I stormed out of the bathroom. Saint stood at the kitchen, staring darkly at the counter, likely feeling bad because life wasn’t easy for him or some shit.

  “Fuck you,” I said, finding my voice even if it sounded young and scared. “You can’t use me to get off then send me packing.”

  “That’s not what’s happening and you know it. I lost control.”

  “You’re fucked up. So what? I am too, but you keep pushing me to say things and do things. You push me past my limits and say it’ll make me strong. Then the first time you hit one of yours, you want to bail like a fucking baby.”

  Saint glared at me. Maybe he was angry at me or at himself. Either way, I didn’t care. He’d pulled me closer today and made me trust him then he told me it was nothing.

  I backed away when Saint stormed towards me, but he caught me and forced my gaze on his.

  “Don’t cry.”

  “Fuck off. I have a right to cry. You can’t tell me what to do anymore, if you have no balls to face the tough stuff too.”

  Forcing me in
to an embrace, he held me fiercely against him. “I hate when women cry.”

  “You hurt me. Don’t you care?”

  He caressed my head. “The day in the woods when you tried to kick my ass, I felt tempted for the first time in… I don’t even know how long it’d been. I thought I could handle a little temptation except the temptation grew and I can’t control it anymore. I want you and I don’t think I can protect you from my feelings.”

  Staring up at him, I found Saint still hiding behind a mask. Too afraid of showing his real face, he remained a confused man lost in his own fucked up head. I imagined him locked up in Mexico, day after day, struggling to keep his soul. He eventually lost the battle. Now, he was fighting again.

  “You want me,” I said, making sure it didn’t sound like a question.

  “You know I do.”

  “You’re not a coward, so don’t act like one.”

  Saint studied my face before using one hand to cup my cheek while his other arm held me close.

  “I’d never been with a woman before Mexico. Never knew how it should be before I knew what it shouldn’t be. Now when I get aroused, I get mean and rough. Fucking makes me violent. I thought I could control myself with you because you’re you, but I was wrong.”

  “You need to learn,” I said, leaning my cheek into his warm, rough hand. “You want to teach me to be stronger. Why can’t you train yourself too? I mean, when was the last time you pushed yourself beyond what you could control? You’re strong enough to try, yet you act like a pussy.”

  Saint gave me a tight smile. “What if I push myself too far and hurt you? What if I break you? Where will that leave us? I don’t feel ruined yet. I still think one day I’ll be the man I once was, but if I hurt or destroy you then I’m done. I can’t come back from that because I’ve never hurt an innocent person. Even when it would be easier, I don’t cross that line. I need to believe I can come back from being this man.”

  “We'll go slowly. We won’t push too far too fast. Of course, I’m assuming you really want to do this rather than chickening out like a little bitch.”