Once She Dreamed: Part One

by Abbi Glines

  We walked up the stairs and opened the first door on the right. Jamie’s bedroom was as big as the room I shared with my three sisters. The coral and aqua colored quilt on her bed was what drew your eyes into it, the moment you walked through the door. There were paper balls, the same matching colors, hanging above her bed. Like flowers they gave it a fairytale touch, though our discussion wouldn’t be.

  All this was safe for Jamie. Safe, until right about now. The room was going to change. Would she put a crib against the wall? Would her parents allow her to live here? Would she marry Ben, make a life of her own and refuse the help of her parents?

  “Do you love him?” I gently asked, resting the bag on her dresser.

  She sighed and nodded her head. “Yes, I’ve loved him for years, but he’s always just seen you. Until the night that he only saw me.” She then pointed at her chest. “The next day it was like it never happened. His eyes were still on you. I kept wishing that wouldn’t be the case and he’d continue to just see me.”

  My chest ached and I wanted to hug her. I hadn’t realized until recently that she felt something for Ben. I wish she had told me sooner. Maybe I could’ve helped by telling Ben how I would never feel that way. But would that end his strange fascination? Would he ever turn completely to Jamie?

  “I was used to boys liking you. They always have. It didn’t bother me. You’re my best friend and you’re beautiful and guys are drawn to that. That’s something I always understood. Until Ben. He was my first. The boy I wanted for myself. But it’s hard to see me when there’s you.”

  The idea of strawberries and cupcakes no longer appealed to me. I loved Jamie. I didn’t want her unhappy. I also wanted to swing at Ben. Break his nose and mash his teeth. Why were guys so dumb? Jamie was sweet, smart, funny and kind, devoted and really pretty. She was an excellent catch. Jamie wanted this life. She’d be a fantastic wife and mother. Didn’t Ben see all that? She wanted the same as him. She was perfect for the life he envisioned for himself, but I was the polar opposite. Not only did I not love Ben. I hated Moulton, Alabama.

  “I don’t think Ben would’ve slept with you had he not had feelings for you. Right now I imagine he is trying to figure out your future, the two of you. What is best and right for not only you, but the baby growing inside you. He’ll call or better yet, come by, if you give him time to think. You know Ben well enough, he’ll do the right thing and if he doesn’t love you yet, he will fall in love with you soon. I don’t doubt that at all. You’re easy to love sweetheart.”

  Jamie sank down onto her bed and sighed as her shoulders sagged. “What if he hates me forever?”

  That idea was ludicrous. “Hate you? Because he chose to have sex with you, without using protection? That wasn’t your fault, excuse me, but there were two people present that night.”

  Jamie lifted her head and her eyes were so sad it broke my heart to see it: “I told him I was on the pill. I have been for my irregular periods. But I knew they weren’t strong. My doctor explained that it was enough to keep my periods regular, but not a great form of protection. I knew that, and…and…I didn’t take my pill that night. I can tell myself a million times it was an accident and I forgot. But deep down, I don’t think that it was. I think I meant for this to happen.”

  If she had meant for this to happen it had been a fleeting fantasy. Now she was faced with reality. I didn’t think Jamie premeditated trapping Ben as a father. However, if she had, then Jamie’s future may be exactly what she wanted.

  “Doesn’t matter now. You’re going to have a baby. And you’re going to be an excellent mother. That kid is a lucky egg.”

  A small smile touched her lips and I hoped I was right. For all three of the people included.

  Chapter Nine

  I hadn’t planned on going to the barn dance but after a week of leaving work to check on Jamie and lift her spirits I figured she needed me there. Ben hadn’t asked her to go, although he had finally called her and they had met late one evening to talk about things in his truck. He hadn’t made any promises yet, but he had mentioned marriage.

  Jamie needed to pretend as if life were normal. Being the good friend that I was I had momma alter my nicest dress that she made for last year’s dance. My breasts were bigger and my hips flared more. I couldn’t tell, but it had happened. She also added a satin belt that tied in a pretty bow. I was asked by four different boys to go and I’d turned them all down in a row. If it weren’t for Jamie, I wouldn’t be going. I didn’t really want to dance with any boys from Moulton, Alabama.

  Momma was pleased I was going. She didn’t understand why Jamie was my date, but she seemed positive about the fact I’d be there with local boys, preening and showing themselves. I picked up the blueberry cobbler she had just finished baking and put it on the cake plate that set in the center of the display. I would smell it for the next eight hours. Good thing blueberry cobbler wasn’t one of my favorites. I’d also had momma’s several times at home. It wouldn’t be torture, just agony.

  The doorbell chimed, the door then opened, and Mr. Expensive was there. I had questions: why are you here? Do you work nearby? What is your name? But I didn’t ask a one. That would be flirting and momma would hear me. I glanced back to make sure the kitchen door was closed. I wanted momma to stay back there, instead of coming out here and being rude.

  “Good morning,” I said with a smile, reassuring myself that the door was shut and that momma was safely busy.

  “Good morning,” he replied with a grin. He had impressive straight white teeth. I’d never seen teeth so perfect.

  “You must be working nearby. We don’t normally get out of towners repeating their business this soon.” I said it without asking a question.

  He smirked. “Actually no, I don’t. But after my first visit I keep getting drawn back here. Regularly.”

  I wanted to think that comment was meant for me. But I’d had my momma’s baking and knew it was meant for the treats. “My momma can have that affect.”

  He stopped on the other side of the counter and studied me for a moment. I wanted to fidget and fix my hair. Make sure my breath was clean and that nothing was out of place. He seemed so polished and perfect. Was he finding all my flaws?

  “I’m sure your mother brings in tons of people with her talented baking. However, I was referring to you.”

  I wanted to respond, but what do I say, flirting wasn’t my habit, something I practiced daily. Now I wished I had practiced more. It could be helpful at a time like this.

  “I’ve made you nervous. Surely you get attention from the men in this town on a regular basis?”

  Men, no, not men, I wouldn’t call the boys here men. They were still drinking beer and swimming in the lake and none of them had a goal to be more than Moulton offered.

  “Honestly, other than work here and at home, I don’t go out much.”

  Now I sounded completely boring.

  “Your mother’s smart. If she let you out you’d be married within the year.”

  I laughed. My momma would love for me to be married. I shook my head. “No, that’s not it. I just don’t want this life. I plan to get out of Moulton, out of Alabama for good. I want to see the world. Not marry a farmer and have a bunch of babies just like everyone else.”

  He smiled and bit his lip. Not one I’d seen before. People around here always mocked me, grinning with spite and arrogance. As if I was dreaming too big. His smile was more appreciative.

  “What’s your number one?” he asked.

  “My what?”

  “The first place on your list of places you want to see.”

  Oh, well, that was hard. But I would have to say “New York. Manhattan to be exact.”

  “Fifth Avenue?” he added, reading my mind.

  I nodded.

  “It’s a nice place to visit but not to live. I tried it once and only lasted a year before I headed back to Tennessee.”

  Tennessee? He lived in Tennessee? That was a let down. A
lthough I was sure he lived in a nice big house somewhere expensive. It was still the south. He looked like he belonged somewhere bigger. Brighter. Shinier.

  “You look disappointed,” he said. He was either very perceptive or I was just easy to read.

  “Oh, no. I just didn’t expect you to live in Tennessee. I was surprised.”

  He let out a chuckle then turned his attention to the display. “What do you suggest today?”

  He was changing the subject and I was so thankful I moved over to the case and opened it up. “The chocolate cupcakes have raspberry cream inside. Fresh raspberries are in them also. The cobbler is nice and warm.” I couldn’t even sell the cobbler to him. I was terrible. He might not even buy me something today. I should have tried harder with the cobbler. It was delicious. It just wasn’t a mystery.

  “I’ll take four cupcakes,” he replied.

  I boxed them and placed them on the counter. “Coffee?” I asked him.

  “Please.”

  After fixing his coffee I handed it to him. “Nine dollars and fifteen cents,” I told him.

  He reached into his wallet and pulled out a twenty, guiding it across the counter. “I don’t need the change,” he said. He then opened his box and lifted a cupcake, which left me three again. I wanted to ask him why three, but he turned to exit the bakery. I watched him retreat, then stop, revolving to look right at me. It made my stomach do a little flip.

  “Thank you for the cupcakes,” I said, quickly before I forgot.

  “I have a penthouse in Manhattan, Chicago and Boston. A cabin in Colorado, and a townhouse in San Francisco.” Then he tuned and left. Just like that. As if nothing more needed to be added, said or otherwise mentioned. I myself had nothing to add. I lived in a room with my sisters. Sometimes we confused our panties. I couldn’t imagine having five residences. Or even having a room to myself.

  Chapter Ten

  Strings of white lights covered the ceiling of the large barn in Moulton’s center. It was here before the town and as a historical monument was well preserved and tended. Town events happened here. The doors were slid open in the back and front inviting the warm evening breeze. The trees outside were also decorated, the live music that was playing from the make shift stage was just inside the barn.

  Colorful flowers were placed like a maze around the stage and through both entries. These led you to dance and to the drinks and snacks, but they were sure to trip a few. Girls were in their dresses and boots or heels while the guys were all in jeans, their plaid shirts as stiff as boards. Laughter mixed with the music from Herman Borris’s band and it all seemed very typical. The usual. Nothing new.

  Jamie looked toward the drink table. “Do you think the punch has already been spiked? I smell cornmash in the air like incense. It’s a moonshine evening for sure.”

  Probably. “You had better stick with water or sweet tea¸” I responded.

  She nodded in agreement. I had hoped all day that Ben would call her and ask Jamie to the dance tonight. I kept scanning the crowd for a sign of him or his truck around the square. I was trying to let him adjust and make a plan, but right now I wanted to wring his neck for his immature behavior and neglecting my best friend. Jamie was dressed in a lovely white chiffon dress that stopped at her knees and was strapless. It came straight off the rack of a department store in Cullman. She paid over one hundred dollars for it and she looked gorgeous.

  Ben shouldn’t be missing this.

  I watched as she looked through the crowd. She was nervous and the way she kept fidgeting with her dress made me want to pop her hand. She didn’t need to be nervous. She needed to walk around like the beauty she was and own that. Be as natural as possible under the circumstances and enjoy an evening with me.

  “Do you think he’ll come?” she asked. I reached down to take the hand that was picking the ruffled chiffon. I squeezed until she squeezed back.

  “If he doesn’t then he’s missing out. You look amazing. Dance with everyone who asks and enjoy yourself.”

  She nodded without looking convinced.

  I saw Cole Marsh walking our way and his eyes were on me. Crap.

  “Hello ladies,” he said, not acknowledging Jamie’s existence, except for making ladies plural. That infuriated me so I attacked.

  “Cole,” I said in a voice that didn’t sound pleased or inviting. “You ass,” I quietly mumbled, Cole not hearing a thing.

  “You look gorgeous as always,” he said. I turned my gaze away and winced.

  “Thanks,” I muttered. “Imbecile.” I was disgusted with men in general.

  “Herman’s got it rolling up there. Want to join me for a go on the dance floor?”

  “No thanks.” I then cut my eyes back at him. I actually felt them flash. If he asked Jamie now I’d be pissed. That was an obvious diss. Like the dumbass he obviously was, he finally looked at Jamie. “What about you? Want to dance?”

  She glanced at me and knew me well enough that the frown on my face meant that saying “yes” was a bad idea.

  “No thanks. We just got here and I’d like to go get a drink first.”

  The smart thing for Cole to do at that moment was to offer to go get her a drink. Then maybe she would dance with him. But instead he sighed and shook his head. “Alright, shoot a man down why don’t ya.” Then he walked off like a child.

  “He’s a jerk,” I said. “An asshole.”

  “I agree,” she replied.

  “Let’s go get you something to drink. Wait for a better option.”

  She nodded and we headed for the drink table. I decided I wanted some punch, because if I was going to get through tonight without slugging someone’s face, I would require some home brew to do it. To settle me down a bit. Momma would have a fit if she found out, but one drink wouldn’t hurt. Besides, the punch isn’t supposed to be spiked. It just always is, so I drink it.

  “He’s here,” Jamie whispered, almost panicked, her hand gripping my arm. I followed her gaze and found Ben walking, dressed in jeans and a new plaid shirt, like the rest of the guys in the barn. Why the hell do they wear the same thing? He glanced at me a moment before his eyes went to Jamie. I knew she looked beautiful, though she didn’t realize it, which is both good and bad together.

  I could see the appreciation in his eyes. I figured he might dance with her. That and the fact she was having his baby. Sweet mother! I needed a drink!

  “What do I do?” she asked nervously.

  “You go get a drink like you planned.” I told her bluntly and led her to the drinks. “Don’t look at him. Make him come to you.”

  I wasn’t sure of the origin of my matchmaking tips but they were there like I knew what I was doing. We made it to the drink table before Ben got to us and then he closed rather quickly.

  “Hello,” he said cautiously, like he was afraid of something. Perhaps me, which was a good idea. I then nudged Jamie to respond.

  “Hi,” she said with a shaky breath.

  “You look beautiful,” and I knew his words were real, not forced or just pretended. He gained a few points there. Not enough yet, but a few. He had a lot of humbling to do.

  “Thanks,” she said softly. I knew Jamie well enough to know she wasn’t sure she believed him at that moment. I wished she’d see herself the way others saw her beauty.

  “Getting something to drink? Or would you like to dance?” He asked her and it was sincere.

  Again, I barely moved my arm, but the pinch I gave her side was enough of a nudge to enliven her. She understood what I was saying.

  “Uh, yeah, I’d like to dance,” she replied.

  Ben looked at me and nodded a greeting. “I’m going to steal her away,” he told me. “We’ll find you directly pal.”

  “Good,” was my response.

  That made him smile and released me. Maybe things would be okay.

  I fixed myself a glass of punch. Sure enough the nip of the homebrew set my throat to tingling. That was good. A positive thing. At least I cou
ld make it through the night. It would loosen me up enough to dance with a guy or two. Ben was showing Jamie he wasn’t going anywhere. He needed to do more than ask her to dance, but that was a start I guess.

  “I understand that events like this don’t offer alcohol. Not legally anyway.” A deep voice spoke close to my ear and I jumped because I was startled. Luckily, my punch didn’t spill on my dress, nor did I spin and swing.

  Turning, I came face to face with Mr. Expensive grinning, the man biting his lower lip, as pleased to be in my presence, for I was aglow in his.

  Chapter Eleven

  He wasn’t dressed in jeans and a plaid shirt. Not even close. Instead, his pants were a dark gray and probably cost more than my mother’s monthly salary. The white, long sleeved button down shirt he was wearing was casual, the sleeves rolled to his elbows with his top button undone. Like he was just getting comfortable after a long day of work.

  Not only did he look expensive, he smelled expensive also.

  And all of that, added to the fact that he lived a life I dreamed about made me a little giddy. I hadn’t expected to see him. How he had known about this dance was beyond me. But I didn’t care. All I cared about was that he was here.

  “The punch,” I told him. “The alcohol is in the punch.”

  “Ahh, so they hide the good stuff,” he replied.

  I handed him my cup. “It’s moonshine, rotgut, like diesel fuel. Go gently dear friend. Be cautious.”

  He chuckled, took my drink and drank deeply like the booze was well water. Not even a wince. I guess just because he was wealthy didn’t take away from his Tennesseeness.

  “I’ll get another,” I told him. “You can have that one.”