Reborn as a Vending Machine, I Now Wander the Dungeon, Vol. 2

by Hirukuma

  I suppose it continues to be more realistic, as a vending machine, to earn money instead.

  Still, now that I’ve gotten a grasp on my situation, it’s finally Blessing time!

  Since I have over a million points, I can acquire a new Blessing. I never honestly thought I’d get such a stupidly large amount of points. I also never thought there’d be a shortcut like this.

  Well then—let’s go over the Blessings very carefully and choose one.

  New Powers

  First, I separate the Blessings into abilities I need and ones I don’t.

  Ones like Swordsmanship and Martial Arts are out of the question, since I don’t have any arms or legs to use them.

  For magic-related ones like Fire Magic and Water Magic, I don’t have any magic power, so I get rid of those.

  Of the remaining, I’ll go over the ones that seem convenient for a vending machine with a fine-tooth comb. First, this one.

  Telekinesis—meaning that supernatural ability where you can move things without touching them, right? Let’s check the explanation.

  [This Blessing allows the user to manipulate objects anywhere within three feet. However, there is a weight limit, and only usable on your own products.]

  A radius of three feet—well, that’s fine. That’s valuable enough on its own. But for some reason, it’s limited to my products. Still, if I had this ability, I could do lectures on how to use the products. That’s a candidate. Let’s check the next one.

  [Telepathy]

  [This Blessing allows the user’s inner voice to reach anyone within three feet.]

  This is the one I was after the most. With this, I’d be able to talk to Lammis. It has a small area of effect, but having a rapport with her would still be great.

  [Instant Locomotion]

  [This Blessing allows the user to instantly move to any spot within three feet.]

  Commonly called teleportation. But why is it restricted to three feet? I could only move three feet, but I’d still have a way to move as a vending machine.

  These three are the most valuable candidates. However, they’re only that valuable if they work the way I expect them to. It’s possible they’ll consume points to activate like Force Field does.

  In that case, I’ll have to think about the cost. If Lammis were here, I’d choose Telepathy without a second thought. But I’m all alone in this labyrinth. I hesitate to pick that in this situation.

  And in Instant Locomotion’s case, I can’t help but feel like moving a few feet in this expansive labyrinth would be a drop in the ocean. If I can use it a bunch of times in a row, I might be able to move through the air as well, but that makes me think there’s a downside.

  Telekinesis is the ability I could use the most effectively as a vending machine. Controlling my products would greatly expand the things I can do. This seems appropriate, but there’s no need to rush. I can’t spend a million points for nothing.

  Come to think of it, if I have this many points, can’t I choose a feature, too? I’d thought it would be a while before getting any features above a hundred thousand points, so I didn’t ever give them a look.

  Still, I think I’ll settle on a Blessing, but if there is a noteworthy feature— Huh? Was this here before?

  [Vending Machine Rank Up]

  The way it’s worded stirs the soul of a vending machine maniac. Hold on. It’s obviously more efficient to choose a Blessing instead. S-still, I suppose I’ll look at the explanation, just so I know.

  [Vending machines are devices made to provide products and services automatically without the intervention of an employee through the payment of costs such as coins and paper bills. Ranking up unlocks everything that falls under that definition and also allows for a further variety of optional parts to be attached.]

  I can’t believe it… In other words, I’ll have more features and vending machine types to choose from that I couldn’t before? The only things I could choose before now have been things that are actually called vending machines.

  Does this mean I could choose features that fall under that definition, even if they’re not designated specifically for vending machines?

  I’ll just have to go with thi— Wait, wait. Calm down. Take a deep breath and calm your mind.

  “Welcome. Welcome.”

  Okay, I’m calmed down. First of all, in this alternate world, and in this maze stratum, choosing a Blessing would be the correct answer. Yes, I understand that quite well.

  But think of it this way. I’m a vending machine. I basically got this body out of my love for them. I still don’t know why I was reincarnated, but I must never forget that I’m a maniac for vending machines, even after being reborn as one.

  Do I want to become a vending machine that can use superhuman abilities? Or do I want to be a vending machine excelling in a myriad of features?

  There was never any reason to hesitate to begin with. Yes, I choose this: the vending machine rank up!

  [Vending machine rank increased to 2.]

  The moment those words appear in my mind, an awesome power…doesn’t begin to flow through me. I can’t feel any change at all. If I’m rank 2 now, does that mean there are other ranks above that? This is getting a little exciting.

  The warmth leaves my body, and now that I’m calmed down, I have a thought: Did…did I actually do that?

  W-well, getting stronger and more useful are both important. But I’m a vending machine. If I forget that, I’d be putting the cart before the horse, wouldn’t I? Things were inconvenient before, but I’ve been getting by this whole time.

  Yep, that’s right. In every choice, you have fewer regrets if you fail by choosing a future for yourself than if you fail by choosing a compromise.

  That’s enough self-reflection! I decide to get a new feature right away now that I’m rank 2.

  My white body stretches into a slender form, and though it—of course—has a coin insert slot, a snakelike hose is attached to my side, and its tip has a plastic material stuck to the end.

  It also has a gun-like trigger on it, and when you hold it, a strange vrooooo sound comes out and it sucks in the air. Furthermore, there’s a switch near the trigger, and when you press that, it expels a gust of air. A fine product.

  It looks like it works perfectly—this coin-operated vacuum cleaner in that self-service car wash.

  As I explained, out of all the coin-operated vacuum cleaners, I like this variety in particular because not only can it suck, it can blow air back out as well. With it, you can blow out the sand buried in your car seats.

  Here’s where the problem begins. I know now that I can freely control whether it sucks or blows. What I need to do now is repel the hose’s tip outside the Force Field.

  When the hose’s tip is forced outside the barrier, it comes to a stop on the ground. This vacuum cleaner’s hose is easily over five feet long, so I can get it outside.

  After that, I blow out air—stop! A little more, make it a little stronger… Oops, that time it was too strong. Blow another short burst of air, adjust the positioning slightly…

  As a result of over ten minutes of combat, I manage to bring the hose tip into the ideal position. That’s right—so it’s right next to the eight-legged crocodile coin.

  The hose is all set! No obstacles! Beginning suction!

  The suction begins to echo, sucking in dirt on the ground as well as the air. My actual goal, the coin, seems unable to fight against the surprising force. It inches toward the hose, then disappears inside.

  Mission complete.

  I can feel the coin rattling around in the hose. Come to think of it, what happens to the coin after this? I believe this vacuum cleaner has an exhaust vent in the back; it’s positioned over a garbage bin so that the garbage falls right in.

  [Octo Croc Coin added to inventory.]

  What? Wait, an inventory? I don’t remember an entry like that.

  I doubt, therefore I try it immediately. Let’s check my abilities. />
  [Vending Machine: Boxxo – Rank 2]

  DUR 200/200

  TGH 50

  STR 0

  SPD 20

  DEX 0

  MAG 0

  PT 18,595

  {Features} Cold Retention, Heat Retention, Omnidirectional Vision, Hot-Water Dispenser (Cup Ramen Mode), Two-Liter Support, Candy-Roll Vending, Paint Change, Boxed-Item Support, Vending Machine Surveillance Camera, Oxygen Vending Machine, Magazine Vending Machine, Gas Vending Machine, Cardboard Vending Machine, Coin-Operated Vacuum Cleaner

  {Blessings} Force Field

  {Inventory} Octo Croc Coin

  Oh, I have an inventory entry now. Other things interest me, such as the vast decrease in points and the rank 2 display, but first I’ll check my inventory.

  [Octo Croc Coin. Proof of defeating the stratum lord.]

  That’s it?! Wait, no other explanation? Is this a collector’s item? Or is there some kind of important meaning behind this coin? I don’t know, but there shouldn’t be any harm in keeping it.

  …Can I get this coin back out? Even if I could, I won’t right now, since it takes forever to suck it up. That stratum lord must have been called the Octo Croc.

  My points are down to less than twenty thousand, so I can’t do anything reckless anymore. And the coin-operated vacuum cleaner actually consumes two thousand points? Many of the features I can choose now that I’m rank 2 cost quite a bit. I’ll have to be more careful.

  I’ve done what I needed to do, so I’ve calmed down a fair amount. Well, whenever you do that, reality comes right after you. For now, I’m in an easy-to-find spot in a stratum, so I suspect there’s a high chance some labyrinth-conquering hunters will find me.

  The problem there is whether they’ll be good people like Lammis and the other residents of Clearflow Lake. It wouldn’t be that strange if a band of thieves or some other villainous type came along and destroyed me or whisked me away to parts unknown. There’s no guarantee they’ll be customers.

  I have to consider the worst-case scenario. First, I’ll secure enough points to maintain a Force Field. It would be great if I had some other way of getting points. If I can maintain my points, I don’t have to worry about shutting down.

  Which means I’d have to hunt monsters…which I obviously can’t do. I only defeated the Octo Croc out of sheer luck. If you told me to go do that again, I honestly wouldn’t want to. At all.

  If nothing happens, and I just have to keep my features running, I can hold out for a year or so, but there’s no telling what will happen in this alternate world. And yet, the moment I give thought to, for example, why I poured all my points into that rank up, I’ll have lost.

  [Vending machine form-change time exceeding the two-hour time limit. Please return to original vending machine immediately. Repeating. Vending machine form-change time exceeding the two-hour time limit. Please return to original vending machine immediately—]

  What?! Alarms suddenly went off in my head, and now I have this message here. Form-change time limit? Wait, th-think later—by original it means the one I’m usually in, right?

  I return to my usual vending machine form that instant, and the alarms and warning message disappear. This is a first for me. I suppose it means that forms other than my original one can’t go above two hours at most per day.

  I’ve changed my form several times before, but come to think of it, I always have a weird sense of discomfort when I’m in a different one, so I always go back to my usual one. Guess I’ve never been another vending machine variety for over two hours… I didn’t even realize.

  Two hours per day is the limit, huh? I should probably stop changing forms without a good reason.

  I’ve been doing nothing but rely on Lammis and Hulemy lately, including with things like this. I thought vending machines were convenient tools where you could buy whatever you want without an employee being around. This is a good chance. Let’s take a gander at just how far I can go by myself.

  New Encounters

  Ah, what lovely weather.

  The sun’s rays shine down from the heavens, and I bask in tranquility.

  Three days have passed, and not a soul has come by. But I’m not the least bit concerned. Just relaxing in the sunlight is bliss.

  Before, I might have had a nagging fear in the back of my mind over the thought of my points decreasing ever so slowly. But right now, my points are going up.

  The reason has to do with the thing on my head. I added a new feature—a solar panel setup, like the kind on diagonal roofs. With this, I don’t have to do anything on sunny days to accumulate points.

  See? I told you ranking up was the right choice! But there’s no one around. What am I making excuses for?

  This solar panel was apparently part of an energy conservation and disaster countermeasure. Mine is fairly advanced, and if the weather is good, I get ten points an hour. If I save up points on sunny days, I can relax and go on living.

  For these past three days, to gain a better understanding of my abilities, I first investigated the two-hour limit on my form changing. I learned that I can maintain the form I had when I was reborn for as long as I want. I was pretty sure of that already, but in addition, most exterior changes stuck, and changing any internal features didn’t have a time limit.

  In other words, even if I devote half my body to the instant ramen function, it doesn’t fall under the time limit.

  If nothing happens, all I have to do is wait out my time in peace. H-hmm. Once you solve one problem, you start to get greedy.

  To put it bluntly, I’m bored. Maybe it’s because I got too used to my vending machine body, but I can’t really calm down unless I’m selling things to someone.

  There really seems to be no human presence in the maze stratum. I wish I’d asked Hulemy a little more about it, but it’s too late for that. I have no way to ask her to begin with.

  Lammis was knocked out. Is she all right? If the old lady who visits me a lot is around, I’m sure she can heal her, but there won’t be any aftereffects, right?

  Sigh. Everything has been so noisy lately that it’s a little lonely not seeing anyone for an entire day. Giant walls stand in front of me and behind me, and I can see the sky, but that’s it.

  I have nothing to do, so as I’m looking around as usual, I catch wind of something moving quietly.

  Based on the aerial view I recorded with my surveillance camera, the path to my left should be the maze’s entrance. Maybe that means I can get my hopes up. It would be ideal if they came from the stratum above to save me, but I don’t mind if it’s other hunters.

  I just hope they’re not mean people.

  Something grows steadily larger, and eventually I can make the figures out.

  Those are bipedal—small black bears…no, cats? Tanuki? I’m having a hard time identifying their features.

  There are four. All are wearing the same leather jacket in bright green. They’re not wearing pants, but they’re wearing shoes? Their jackets aren’t buttoned in the front, so I can see their chests—they have white, crescent-shaped patterns on them. Small moon bears?

  Maybe they’re the same species as Director Bear. Still, they’re fairly small.

  Their faces and bodies are jet-black, but their noses are black, too, and their ears stand up, with pink inside. They have whiskers as well, but like a cat’s. Which means they’re not bears? Well, whatever they are, they’re pretty cute. As someone whose love for cats is second only to his love for vending machines, I’m itching to pet them.

  B-but what is this cute little team? I’d like to give them a closer look while they’re buying something from me, but they don’t look like they have the time. They’re running for their lives, wearing backpacks.

  They’re being chased from behind by three monsters with loose skin and pig faces wielding clubs over their heads. The bear cats run forward—they’re like a combination of bears and cats, right?

  Their pursuers have bodies three times the
ir size, and they’re certainly not lacking in the speed department. But one of the bear cats’ legs is wounded, and two are supporting that one as they run, meaning they can’t widen the gap at all.

  The monsters with pig faces plastered on their heads are called hugehog fiends, as I recall. I’ve heard people in Clearflow Lake making fun of fat people by calling them hugehogs.

  There’s still distance, but please, get in front of me somehow! If you do, I’ll help you out somehow.

  “Vaaahhh!”

  “Go awaaay!”

  “Just leave me!”

  “I won’t leave you behind, stupid!”

  Despite their appearance, their cries are guttural, and when they open their big mouths, their faces are scary! I can see sharp fangs inside.

  The wounded one must be the one with the drooping ears like a Scottish fold cat. By the sound of its voice, it’s female. A slightly taller, browner bear cat than the others is supporting her.

  The one snarling as it runs is skinny. The one bringing up the rear is plumper.

  They look similar, but they have a lot of visual differences. That aside, they should be able to get to me at this rate. About thirty feet separate them from the hugehogs.

  The problem is, how do I save those bear cats? It’s time for me to reveal the fruits of the painfully long hours I spent thinking up ways to fight as a vending machine.

  I change into a vending machine that has a compartment without a lid, then drop several cans of juice into the compartment. Then I change my paint color to match the wall, blending in with it.

  At a quick glance, I’d look like part of the wall. They don’t have time to look carefully in this situation, after all.