by Julia Crane
“Don’t die...” I begged softly.
“Death is a blessing.” He didn’t say anything else, maybe because he didn’t have the energy or he thought I wouldn’t want to hear it. Or maybe because he knew I could see the love in his eyes. With a smile on his face, he closed his eyes and took his last breath.
In the silence that followed, I heard footsteps rushing towards me. Still woozy from my head wound, I glanced up, looking for the source.
Lena.
The pale, blonde faery paused, her blue eyes assessing the situation. Kallan out cold, Oren and I with hands entwined, and Varwik with a sword standing out of his chest.
I couldn’t speak. Hot tears built in my eyes, and the lump in my throat felt immovable.
Lena looked back and forth between Oren and Varwik. I saw the moment she chose her path.
With soft, steady steps, she came to my father and me and knelt beside us.
“Help him. Please.” My voice cracked.
Her capable hands drifted over my father’s body, and her eyes closed. Magick shimmered off of her in waves as she tried to do what she could for Oren.
At last, she shook her head and sat back on her heels. “I’m so sorry, Oleander. He’s already gone. There’s nothing I can do.”
That wasn’t good enough. I was an Aurorian and with Lena here, I could use her power. I placed my hands on my father’s neck and willed it to heal. Yanking them back, I was devastated to find the wound still there and Oren still dead.
“We can’t bring them back from the dead. We can only heal the living.”
“And Varwik?” I asked bitterly, my gaze settling on the leader of the dark faeries.
Lena looked around us. “The guards who came for me have not yet returned. There was a scuffle inside the castle.” She smiled wryly. “Varwik’s human prisoner is gone.”
I let my head fall to the grass and sighed. “Thank God.”
Lena glanced at Varwik. “Oleander, you know Varwik has held me against my will at this palace for years.”
I nodded. Oren’s hand was sticky in mine.
“He threatened to murder my family if I did not serve him.” Her blue-eyed gaze caught mine.
I nodded again.
Then I watched, dumbfounded, as Lena climbed gracefully to her feet, crossed to Varwik, and spit on him. She didn’t even bother to see if he could be saved.
By the time Kallan came to beneath Lena’s healing hands, Varwik and Oren were both gone. “Maybe this is for the best,” Kallan murmured, wiping away a tear from his face.
I didn’t answer. Maybe he was right. They did this to themselves, both for their own reasons. Varwik with a thirst for power, and Oren with a determination to save me.
I bent over and kissed Oren’s forehead. I didn’t know him as my father, but that didn’t matter. He was, and always would be.
“Thank you,” I whispered into his ear.
Lena and Kallan helped me stand. Though the healer had helped my injury, my equilibrium was still off. It took me a moment to find my feet. When I did, I started walking away.
“Ry?” Kallan’s voice was thick with worry.
I stopped in my tracks, tears flowing down my face. I fought the urge to turn around. “I’m done here,” I said simply and continued walking.
I had no doubt that my best friend was safe with Drake, nor did I doubt that Lorella had seen the outcome of the fight and dutifully informed Azura. I didn’t want to stay in this world any longer than I had to, so I left behind the blood, the devastation, and a guy who loved me, and I went back home.
It was nighttime and every light in the house was on.
I walked in the back door to find my parents, Drake, and Sierra gathered in the kitchen. My parents sat at the table with steaming mugs, while Sierra held an ice pack to a bump on her head. Drake stood at the counter, his arms crossed over his chest.
I looked at each of their worried faces. I had no clue what to say. The enormity of what I’d witnessed sat on my shoulders like a monster I couldn’t shake.
“Rylie?” Mom asked gently.
I swallowed hard. “Yeah?”
“What happened?”
“The promise is broken. I no longer have to marry Kallan.”
“How?” Dad put a hand on Mom’s.
“Varwik and Oren are dead. They killed each other.”
“Oh honey…” Mom’s hand flew up to her mouth.
I looked at Sierra. “Are you okay?”
“Fine, thanks to Drake.” She flashed a weary smile in his direction.
A long silence followed. If I was at a loss for words, it seemed everyone else was too.
I finally spoke again. “I’m finished. I don’t want anything to do with this anymore. I hope you can all understand that.”
Before anyone could say anything else, I turned and left.
I closed and locked my bedroom door, and then stood in front of the mirror. I almost didn’t recognize myself. Not as a human or a faery. My once happy eyes looked sad. My hair was a mess of dirt and leaves, and probably blood if the sticky substance behind my ear was anything. My hands and legs were dirty. My wings sagged.
I sobbed once and sank down on the edge of my bed. Nothing seemed real. It felt as though I’d been going through the motions lately. I wished I could run away like Oren did for so many years. I’d probably be found eventually...just like he was.
Being a faery was what little girls dreamed of. I should have been happy. Excited. But I wasn’t. Miserable was a better word for what this past year had been. I curled up into a ball on my bed. Life hadn’t been easy, but maybe now with the faery thing gone, I could concentrate on my human life. School, grades, colleges, and Adam.
Things would go back to normal now...right?
I closed my eyes and let sleep take over.
The birds outside my window started singing extra early the next morning. I yanked the blankets over my head and tried to block their noise. I rolled over on my side and stayed there, tucked inside the covers, all day long. There were plenty of knocks on the door, but I sent them all away. My phone trilled constantly until I finally turned it off.
I couldn’t make heads or tails of everything that had happened. I had found my father, he said he didn’t want anything to do with me, then he apologized to me, and said he’d make it right. Never in a million years did I think he’d be dead a couple days later. He had faced Varwik for me, to give me my freedom. And what was I doing with it? Spending it in bed. Right now, I was okay with that.
“Rylie?” Mom knocked again.
“I just need sleep,” I told her.
The knob turned, and she walked in. “C’mon, Rylie. It’s dinnertime. Please come eat.”
“I’m not hungry.”
She sat at the edge of the bed. “Do you want to talk about it?”
“No.”
“Some serious stuff happened. I’m sure you’re confused. Dad and I...we’re here for you.”
“I know.”
She sat there for a few more minutes, sighed, and then left. Around midnight, sleepless and with a desperate need for something to distract me, I got up and rearranged my dresser drawers.
I moved on to my closet, starting with the floorboard where my shoes were arranged by size and type. I moved a lamp closer so I could see, and as I dug around in the dusty back corner, I found what I was looking for—a flat, white box with a crushed side.
I pulled it out and traced my name, which was written on top in black marker. Opening the top, I peered inside. A soft pink and brown blanket lay on the top. I took it out and pressed it to my face. My baby blanket. It was worn from years of hugging it, soaking up tears, and being dragged around. I placed it in my lap and looked back in the box.
There were a few pictures and cards that were important to me. A friendship bracelet Sierra had given me years ago. A ribbon I received for winning the spelling bee in elementary school. The box was full of mementos from my life, something I had put together over
the years. The contents meant something to me, yet each was something I never would have had if Azura hadn’t switched me. It almost felt like they should belong to someone else.
I didn’t come out of my room for the next four days other than to use the bathroom. Mom brought me food and sat with me while I ate it. I’m sure it was more for her than for me. She wanted to make sure I was eating something. I definitely wasn’t good company. By the end of the third day, I had caught up on all of my schoolwork and gone through everything in my room. I felt somewhat calmer.
On the fifth night, my door swung open and Sierra stalked into the room.
I was on my bed, surrounded by pictures from my childhood. I stared at my best friend, pretty sure the door had been locked.
Sierra pointed at me. “You are not one to sulk. You are a fighter. Now get back up and do something about this mess.”
I couldn’t look her in the eye, so I glanced back down at the picture in my lap. A school picture. Fourth grade, I thought. “This is different.”
“No, it’s not, Rylie. Something terrible happened. You have to move past it.”
“It’s only been like three days!”
“Three days of hiding in your room. You’ve had time to think. Now it’s time to act.”
“Act on what? I’m done. Finished. I want to get my grades back up and move on with my life.”
“You can’t just pretend nothing happened.”
“Why not? When did you become queen?”
Sierra looked hurt, and for a second, I felt bad. “I’m just worried about you.”
“Really?” The anger grew in me again. “Is this about me or you? You’ve got a boyfriend now and the only way to keep him is through me, right? Isn’t that why you’re here? To make sure you don’t lose your faery boyfriend?”
She gasped. “Rylie...I...you...” Tears fell down her cheeks. “He has nothing to do with this. I love you, Ry. You’re my best friend and you’re hurting. I just want to help.” She spun on her heel and walked out the door.
I hadn’t noticed my parents standing behind her.
“Nice. Real nice,” my mom commented sarcastically and followed Sierra.
Dad stood there a moment longer.
“What do you want?” I asked him, my arms folded in front of me.
“I was just thinking of how things used to be. You would never have treated Sierra like that. You wouldn’t sulk in your room. So much has happened, and it’s changing you. I’m not sure I like it, and there’s nothing I can do about it.” He sighed and walked away.
I curled up under the covers and sobbed, my tears soaking the pillow. Sierra was right. I needed to stop being such a brat and get over it. Problem was, I didn’t know how to do that. I decided right then that I would sulk for the rest of the night and when morning came, I would start anew.
When I woke in the morning, I remembered my decision and jumped into it with zeal. After I took my shower, I dressed in a pair of worn jeans and a violet shirt. I stood in front of the bathroom mirror and stared at myself: pointed ears, wings, and all.
“A new day,” I murmured.
I put a smile on my face when I walked into the kitchen. Mom and Dad looked up, both of them astonished to see me out of my room.
“Hey,” I said guiltily. In the harsh of light of day, I felt like a jerk for the way I’d been acting.
“You look...better,” Mom said.
I nodded. “Do we have any muffins?”
“Blueberry.” Dad pointed to the counter.
I grabbed two out of the package and ate them quickly. “After last night, I don’t know if Sierra is going to show up and bring me to school. Do you think one of you might be able to drop me off?”
Mom and Dad exchanged glances, and Dad nodded. “Of course. I’ll take you.”
I said goodbye to Mom and followed him to the car. We were out of the driveway before he finally spoke.
“Can I say something?” Dad asked.
“Sure.” I chewed on my lip and gripped my backpack in my lap, worried about what he would say.
“I love you. No matter who or what you are, I love you.”
Relief filled me. That hadn’t been what I expected. “Thanks, Dad. I love you, too.”
“I just wanted you to know that...” He stumbled over his words. “I’ve never been a big fan of this faery stuff. I want you home and safe. But I want you to know that whatever you decide, I will support you.”
I blinked a few times to keep the tears away. “Thank you.”
He pulled up to the school. “Thanks for listening to me babble.”
“It means a lot,” I said with a shake of my head. “Right now I’m going to concentrate on school and Adam...” My eyes traveled to the front of the school, where Adam was hanging out with his friends.
“Only you can choose your own destiny, Ry. Don’t forget that.” Dad cupped my face and pressed a kiss to my forehead.
“I love you, Dad.” I stepped out of the car, shut the door, and walked towards Adam.
When he looked up and saw me, he jumped up. “Rylie!” he exclaimed.
I set my bag down and put my arms around his neck. “Hold me?”
“Of course.” He put his hand on the small of my back and held me close. Burying his face in my hair, he took a deep breath. “You smell so good. I’ve missed it.”
“I’m sorry. I’ve been so distracted.” I pulled back and looked in his eyes. “That’s all over. I’m focused on you and school from now on.”
“You ready to tell me what’s been going on?”
The bell rang.
“Don’t think that lets you off the hook.”
I smiled, took his hand, and walked towards the school doors. “We’ll talk after school.”
“I’m gonna hold you to that.”
“I promise.”
At the beginning of each of my classes, I spoke with each of my teachers and handed in any back work I had. I even begged a few for extra credit. By the end of the day, my backpack was twice as heavy as when I got to school, but I felt pretty good about it.
Maybe everything I’d been through had shown me exactly what was important.
Sierra was nowhere to be found. I tried texting her, but she didn’t answer. Guess she was extremely annoyed with me. I would have to fix that, too.
I met up with Adam at the end of the day. “Can we talk here?” I asked. I didn’t want to talk at my house.
“Sure.” He took my hand and led me over to a picnic table.
“Remember that lady you met a couple weeks ago?”
“The one with the weird name?”
“Yeah. Azura. Turns out she’s my biological mother.”
Adam’s jaw dropped. “What?!”
“Yeah, crazy, huh?”
“You’re adopted?”
“Not really.”
“You lost me.”
“Long story short…I was switched at birth.”
“No way!” His eyes widened.
“There’s more.”
“Go on,” he said skeptically.
“I met my biological father over spring break and then he was killed.” Tears formed in my eyes.
“Seriously? I can’t believe you’ve been going through this alone. I wish you had talked to me.”
“I know. I’m sorry.”
“Is she fighting for custody?”
“No. She just wants to get to know me.”
“Wow.” He ran his hand through his hair. “Are you okay?”
I nodded. “It’s been a really wild year. I’m ready for the surprises to be over. I just want to move on.”
He put his hand on mine. “Then let’s do that. Let’s move on.”
I nodded and dabbed my eyes. Leaning over, I rested my head on his shoulder for a few minutes. A peaceful feeling swept over me. Even though I couldn’t tell Adam everything, I had gotten a lot off my chest.
Afterwards, Adam drove me home and walked me to the door. I faced him and said, “Than
ks.”
“For what?”
“Being you.” I leaned in and kissed him. My body warmed at his touch, but it didn’t tingle and feel alive like it did when I kissed Kallan. I pushed that thought from my mind and focused on Adam. I ran my hand up his neck and placed it on the back of his head. The kiss grew more intense until finally we broke apart. “See you later,” I said and walked inside my house.
I called out for my parents, relieved when nobody answered. I could use the alone time.
When I was sure I was alone, I dropped my glamour. Even though I always saw myself as a faery, it felt like I was lying to the world when I had glamour on, which was ironic since faeries couldn’t lie. I stretched my wings and flapped them a few times. I missed the way Kallan would touch them, even if it had only been a couple of times. There was something about his touch.
“Stop it, Rylie,” I chastised myself. Thinking of Kallan would only bring back bad memories. I had to put him out of my mind. I was free now. This was what I wanted.
I managed an hour’s worth of homework, and my parents still hadn’t gotten home from work. I glanced at the time—not quite four. I tried Sierra again.
She finally answered. “What?”
“Really? This is how it’s gonna be?” I snapped.
“I don’t know what to say to you right now, Ry. I’m pissed.”
“Why? Because I want out of that life?”
“Well...yeah. You had it so good. Why throw it away? And you said some really mean things to me.”
Had it good? Was she kidding? “Ever since I found out I was a faery, my life has been a mess. I just want to go back to normal and that means I lose our friendship?”
She was silent for a minute. “You’re not losing me. I’m just mad at you right now.”
I sighed. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
“I want your life, Ry. I’m jealous. And I think you’re stupid to throw it away.”
“Glad to know what you think of me.” I pulled the phone away and my finger hovered over the ‘End’ button, but Sierra’s voice pulled me back.