Wolf's Soul

by J. L. Madore

  My family is the concrete in my foundation. Did none of my mates have that? It hits me then. “I know what you need.”

  “What?”

  I pull out my phone and hit the call log. “Hey, Mama. Kotah’s having a hard time. He’s never had the love and support you guys gave me. Do you think you could lend an ear and give him one of your famous southern comfort Mama talks?”

  “Of course, dear. Put him on.”

  I hold the phone out and point to one of the other bedrooms. “Trust me, on this. Untangling emotional messes is her specialty. Now that we’re mates, she’s your mama too. Tell her what you told me and how you feel about it. I promise, she’ll patch you right back up. Oh, and she’s a historian. You two might find you share interests.”

  Kotah looks at the offered cell like I’m throwing him under the bus. He’ll see. My parents were serious when they said this mating gave them three more sons and a daughter. Our wolf is about to learn what it’s like to be part of my pride.

  His birth family may fail him, but he’s in my family now.

  Calli

  Hawk shifting into his animal form brings all possibility of a heart-to-heart to a grinding halt. Stubborn ass. I stare at my majestic mate perched on the footboard of the bed and shake my head. “I get the impulse to withdraw, I do. But bottling up past darkness doesn’t work indefinitely. Eventually, the bottle shatters or something leaks out around the cork and you find yourself getting punched in the face, hiding in a forest, or choking the woman sleeping next to you in bed.”

  He clacks his beak and shakes, ruffling his feathers.

  I move to stand next to him. “You shifting isn’t all bad, though. It gives me my first real chance to admire your bird up close.” I snort. “Okay, that sounded rude and wasn’t at all what I meant.”

  My cheeks are hot with embarrassment, but I wave it away. Maybe the adrenaline spikes of the day are knocking me for a loop. Life has been too weird today: fainting orgasms, raccoon ladies, almost being choked to death, and then calling lockdown so my wounded bird can’t fly the coop.

  “Of anyone, I understand the need to bury shit that doesn’t define you and, failing that, the impulse to run. You get that, right? Don’t front with me. Let that shit out.”

  Hawk tilts his head to the side and clacks his beak at me again. “I know. You’re the bomb. You don’t need anyone.”

  It’s come up, many times, that avians aren’t like other wildling races. They are loners. They are calculating and tend to be egocentric and narcissistic. Hawk comes off as an autocratic prick—and he can be—but I see past the façade he shows the world.

  “Something happened in your past and you shifted into survival mode, just like I did. I found Riley and fought my way back to the collective—you chose to go it alone. There’s nothing wrong with that. Just know that if you want someone in your corner, I’m here.”

  I reach to brush my fingers over the chestnut feathers of his head, and he snaps. The hook of his beak catches my finger and cuts through my flesh.

  As I gasp, he clacks his beak and shrieks.

  “Okay, fine! You pissy fucking jerk.” I hiss, sucking my finger into my mouth. “I get it. You’re not into me. You don’t want me here. And there’s nothing I can say that helps. Message received. Fuck you.”

  I swing the door open and crash straight into Lukas. While we’ve never gotten physical before, the fact that his chest is as solid as a concrete wall is no surprise.

  Pushing back from him, I throw a thumb over my shoulder. “You want him. He’s all yours. But I warn you, he’s in a piss-poor mood.”

  “Isn’t he always?” a woman asks.

  I lean around the wall of Luka and gander at the leggy, raven-haired beauty standing in the living room. She’s dressed to impress in a red, sheath dress that slits up the side to show off mile-long legs and then clings to her hourglass figure. Coiffed hair, perfect porcelain skin, smokey eyes.

  I hate her immediately.

  “And you are?”

  “Jayne Trenton, of the Manhattan Trentons,” she says, strutting forward with a Cheshire grin and an elegant hand dangling between us.

  A shrieking Hawk hurtles past my head and transforms mid-air, landing right in front of—

  “Hawk’s fiancé,” she says, grinning. “Pleased to make your acquaintance, Calliope.”

  CHAPTER SEVEN

  Hawk

  “Fiancé?” Calli bursts into a full fiery rage and lunges. It’s only Lukas’s preternatural reflexes that save me from a full-bodied takedown. He launches and plucks her out of the air. I give him credit. I’ve witnessed him take down armed assassins and monsters and violent members of the fae realm, but our phoenix in a rampage rivals them all. “You lying slugfucker… Is this a game to you… Does toying with me get you off…?”

  “Calli, I’m not—”

  Lukas loses hold of one of her arms and a wild swing sends me diving out of the way. A fireball singes my shoulder as I pull Jayne to the floor. We go down in an awkward tumble over the side chair and hit the ground hard.

  “She’s a maniac,” Jayne snaps.

  I shove her away before I wring her neck. “What did you think would happen? She’s a week into her transition for fuck’s sake.”

  I roll to my feet and grab Jayne’s arm. Lukas nods and twists Calli so we have a clear shot at the door. I make a break for it and reach for the knob—

  Brant knocks me ass over end and I sail through the air. My hip meets the hardwood and I slide twenty feet. The breath expels from my lungs when I slam up against the legs of the piano. The bear growls, eyes unfocused. “You don’t leave.”

  “Shit,” Jaxx curses, rounding the sofa to grab my arm to pull me up. “Not his fault. Calli compelled him.”

  What? “When the hell did she develop compulsion?”

  “She’s a natural. You’ve got magic mojo, though, right? Can you release him?”

  I roll to my knees and peek up from behind the sofa like a fucking groundhog in a hole. Utterly undignified.

  Lukas is losing his hold. “She’s heating up,” he shouts. “Whatever you’re planning, do it.”

  I curse and turn to Jaxx. “I can’t unlock him with incoming fireballs aimed at my head.”

  “Then I’ll get your girl out and you handle Calli.” Jaxx chuckles, finding something in my expression funny. “And when I say handle her, I mean get your balls fried.”

  Jaxx rushes for the door and pulls Jayne against his side.

  She struggles against his hold and flashes me a petulant glare. “What? You’d stay with her over me—”

  In a fucking heartbeat. “Jaxx, go.”

  Kotah

  I stop in the doorway of the bedroom, my mind struggling to catch up to the scene exploding in front of me. What did I miss this time? Here I thought the drama of the palace would be centered on me. Leave it to my mates to take the pressure off by unleashing our unique brand of crazy.

  Brant paces, agitated, more bear than man. He’s got Hawk in his sights and a threatening growl vibrates through the suite.

  Hawk waits for Jaxx to exit with a very fancy woman and then rises from his crouch behind the sofa. “Calli, don’t fry Lukas. He’s trying to help.”

  “What can I do?” I ask.

  “Keep the bear off me so I can get Calli calmed down.”

  I check out our enraged mate and chuckle. “Good luck.”

  Calli

  I am betrayal. I am fury. I am fire. My sanity ignites like a Molotov cocktail and the fiery beast inside me erupts. He lied to me… let me believe… let me hope. I’m more ashamed of myself than I’ve ever been. Hawk and that bitch—that elegant, beautiful, confident bitch played me for a sucker. Of course, he doesn’t want to be with me. Look at her. Look at me. He said as much right from the beginning.

  You’re nothing special Calli and you know it. Our world needs greatness right now. Hard truth time—that isn’t you.

  But I wanted it to be me.

 
; And for a few days I thought it might be.

  I’m not enough. The others don’t see it yet but we’re still in shiny new toy territory. Once the polish wears off, they’ll see my flaws and failings.

  Hawk is shrewder. He saw them from the start.

  All the hope of building a new life drains out of me. All that’s left is loss. Loss of a dream. Loss of my life. Loss of Riley. Oh, gawd, I miss her. The ache of it consumes me.

  It’s like a deluge of cold water douses my fire and my entire being sizzles away in a cloud of steam. I thought the push and pull between me and Hawk was a dance of dominance, a test of wills. No.

  He laid it out for me, and I was too stupid to get it.

  You’ve never been stupid a day in your life.

  The familiar voice in my head signals the loss of my sanity as well. Now I’m hearing the voice of the dead. Riley?

  Do you have any other besties talented enough to visit you through a mind-meld?

  I’ve lost it. Marbles officially lost. The last time I checked, you weren’t Vulcan—you were dead.

  The me you knew maybe… but not this me.

  I honestly don’t care if I am crazy, hearing Riley’s voice the moment I need her makes a trip into the cuckoo’s nest worth it. Ri, I miss you so much. I need you so much. You’ll never believe how weird my life got since you died.

  She giggles and the sound is as crazy and free-spirited as ever. She says to the voice of a dead girl floating in her noggin. I’ll see your weird, girlfriend, and go all-in on bat-shit.

  Hawk

  Calli is a force. She’s fierce and feisty and when her phoenix is in ascension, intimidating as fuck. The yelling I understand. The fireballs I expect. But when she goes limp in Lukas’s arms, I’m leveled with a rush of fear that liquifies my bowels.

  Her heart. Oh, fuck, no.

  I’ll be the death of her. First, I almost strangle her, and then, I break her already tender heart. “Calli.” I drop to the floor to catch her as she slides from Lukas’s grip. She’s not only unconscious… she’s vacant.

  As I take possession of her collapsed form, I wince at Lukas’s burnt and blistering hands. The stench of smoldering flesh burns my nostrils. “Kotah, help Lukas. I have a burn kit in my bedroom… no, wait.”

  I place a gentle finger under Calli’s chin and lift her gaze to meet mine. Big, fat tears are streaming down her cheeks. I’m such a fucking bastard. I swipe her cheek with my thumb and then brush both Lukas’s wrists above the damage.

  Scooping Calli off the floor, I take her back into the bedroom we shared for our nap. She’s dead weight in my arms, her tears silently leaking out of her. “I’m here. I’m not going anywhere. I’ve got you, Spitfire.”

  Except my spitfire isn’t here.

  After propping the pillows and lying her on the bed, I sit on the edge of the mattress and smooth her hair back from her face. The golden strands stick to her clammy skin. Whether that’s from her heated fury or her current state, I don’t know.

  The black and blue impressions of my fingers manacle her throat for all to see. My eyes sting and I have to look away before I’m sick. Thanks to me being fucked-up, her pale skin is marred with a macabre choker.

  “This is why I don’t deserve precious things, Calli. I can’t be trusted not to break them.”

  She won’t look at me or can’t… that scares me more.

  I lean over her and move my face into her line of vision. “I’m not engaged, Calli. Wherever you are, hear me. I don’t care about Jayne. I never asked her for a future and never would. She’s not the one I want.”

  Nothing. Her vision is glassy, her tears steady.

  I take her hand in mine, her skin still hot to the touch. I don’t care. I need to reach her. “Damn it, Calli, look at me.”

  Calliope Tannis is a fighter. I know that. She gives as good as she gets. She’s brutally honest. She’s far too accepting. And her presence sings to my soul.

  “How is she?” Kotah says, from behind me.

  Broken because of me. My throat is too thick to speak.

  “Let me help.” He rests a soothing hand on my shoulder, and I shrug him off. I have no interest in being soothed.

  “Don’t,” I say, turning to face him. It’s too late. He’s already seen too much. “Yes. The bastard avian does have feelings. Despite what you all think, I do care about her.”

  Kotah crawls onto the bed beside her. “You’re only so guarded because you care too much. Even with all the things you excel at, you don’t have the emotional skills to process what you feel for her.”

  Smart kid. Right. Psychology is his thing. “Can you soothe her with your gift and fix her?”

  Kotah lays his head on the pillow beside her and rests his hand on her heart. “She’s not broken. She’s sad and ashamed and resigned to you not wanting to be with her.”

  “Why is it so easy for her to believe Jayne and not me? It’s a lie. I’m not engaged.”

  “I suspect meeting your girlfriend and her saying you have another future planned put a face on all her worst fears. Her insecurities were proven right. She can’t measure up to your standards.”

  I can’t breathe. Rubbing my fist against my chest, I try to get my lungs to take in air. It doesn’t work. I’m suffocating in self-hatred. “Calli, you’re ten times the female Jayne is. She’s my assistant and we spent a lot of time together. She joked one day that we should make it official. I’ve made it clear a hundred times I’m not interested.”

  I bring Calli’s knuckles to my lips and kiss them. The scent of her heartache blended with the char of her recent meltdown twists in my guts.

  Even in scorched clothes, with a nest of tangled hair, blotchy cheeks, and red-rimmed eyes, she steals my breath. “Calli, look at me and yell or cry or kiss me or hell, I’ll even take another slap to the cheek, just wake up.”

  In any romance movie ever made, this is when the leading lady blinks awake and falls into the arms of her hero and they kiss and know everything will turn out.

  Except, I’m no hero.

  Calli remains unresponsive.

  “Please, Spitfire. I’m an idiot and a jackass, but don’t give up on me yet. I’ll turn this around. I swear.”

  Nothing.

  I sit there, studying her vacant stare until my hawk is violent inside me. Reaching up, I gently brush her eyes closed. “Stay with her while she rests. I’m sure she’ll wake up soon.”

  I hear my words as they hit the air and even I don’t believe me. I can’t sit and do nothing. Heading out to the living room, I eye Brant standing vigil at the door.

  That shuffling buffalo farmer is six-foot-eight of solid muscle and there’s no way I’m getting out of here to deal with Jayne. Either Calli needs to wake up or I need to work on breaking the thrall.

  Movement on the sofa brings my attention to Lukas. “How are your hands.”

  He holds them out, turning them over and back for my inspection. The injured flesh is pink and tender but healing. In another hour, the damage should be fully healed.

  Phoenix tears are astounding.

  “Good. Call Jaxx and get him to bring Jayne back. In the meantime, I’ll see about clearing the cobwebs out of the bear’s mind.”

  Jaxx

  When Hawk texts me to bring his Manhattan hottie girlfriend back to the suite, I’m pretty sure the guy has a death wish. I call him back, to double-check, but he says he’s sure. Who am I to argue? It’s his funeral. Knowing Calli and her temper, it will be a blazing pyre that reaches the heavens.

  “Why are you laughing?” the female snaps. “Nothing about this is funny.”

  I shrug. “Just imaginin’ how things will play out, is all. With the two of them, it’ll be quite a show. I guarantee it.”

  I reach for the door and give her a serious once over. She’s drool-on-your-boots gorgeous and has that air of confidence high-powered corporate females have, but Hawk couldn’t possibly pick her over Calli, could he?

  Nah. The guy might
be an ass, but he’s a smart ass.

  “A word of warning, Black Beauty, if you ever pull the rug out from under my mate again, I’ll gag you, roll you up in that rug, and they’ll never find the body. We clear?”

  I don’t wait to see her response. Honestly, I don’t care.

  Lukas meets us at the door, looking serious as the business end of a .45. “The compulsion is off the bear. He and the prince are in that bedroom with your mate. You should join them.”

  The tone of the guy’s voice sends off all kinds of alarms. “Why? What’s wrong? What happened?”

  Hawk comes to the doorway of one of the other bedrooms. “You can discuss that privately with the others. Join them. I’ll be in once I’m finished here. Jayne, if you would. This will only take a moment.”

  He sweeps his hand to usher his raven-haired honey into the room with him and I take my cue.

  My cat launches forward, and I jog to the bedroom and let myself in. Brant and Kotah are standing by the window looking ill. Calli’s on the bed looking—

  “Shit. What happened?”

  Hawk

  As Jayne approaches the bedroom, I think better of closing myself in alone with her and step into the living room of the suite. Not that anything would happen between us—unless I give into my instincts and kill her—but optics are everything. There’s no way I’ll fuel the fire of Calli’s heartache. Never again. “Lukas, if you’ll excuse us, perhaps you can check on the arrival of our expected guest.”

  When Lukas heads out to the corridor, I rein in my hawk’s need to claw Jayne’s eyes out. “You’re too smart to think that little grandstand performance would do anything but sever our relationship irrevocably, so why do it?”

  Jayne’s cool expression proves my gut instinct. There’s more to this than rattling mine and Calli’s cages. “I’m here for the Monster Rights conference, as scheduled, and came to bring you up to date on the last-minute changes. Despite you choosing to play house with that—” she waves her manicured fingers at the bedroom door and wrinkles her nose—“ill-mannered creature, we’ve worked too hard for the FCO to fall because you can’t keep it in your pants.”