by Various
They needed each other.
Words formed in her mind. Avery had a new idea for a song. She reached in her purse and pulled out a pen and pad. Good thing she always carried one. For times like this, when the mood struck and lyrics popped into her mind. Lucas watched her in wonder. “Writing lyrics down,” she explained and tried to hide what she wrote so he couldn’t see it. That only made him wonder even more. Avery caught him trying to peek over. She took the pad and swatted him with it. “Don’t look. Not yet. I promise, if you’re good, I may let you see it later.”
“Tease,” Lucas muttered, and let her finish her writing.
“That’s not teasing. I can tease, if you want,” Avery said coyly. She ran a hand up his leg. He moved her hand away, scowling at her, which only made Avery burst into laughter.
“I’m keeping tabs, you know. Just you wait.” Lucas lifted a brow and tried to act serious and stern. That didn’t last long.
He brushed strands of Avery’s hair from her face and drew her close. He dropped little kisses on the corners of her lips. When Avery went to deepen the kiss, Lucas pulled away. Avery’s jaw dropped.
“I told you,” was all Lucas said. “I can be just as torturous as you.”
This time, it was Avery’s turn to scowl. “There’s a difference between a kiss and me writing something.” She tried to argue, but Lucas didn’t budge. “You’re mean!”
As the sky darkened, bright lights overhead began to buzz.
Avery loved the laughter in his eyes. He was enjoying this way too much.
“Are you ready to go?”
Avery nodded, putting away her pen and pad. Lucas stood, held out his hand and helped her to her feet. “Thank you for a wonderful day,” she whispered, wrapping her arms around him. She rested her head against his chest, knowing she needed to let him go so they could leave, but enjoying him way too much just like this. The steady beat of his heart thrummed in her ear. Lucas kissed the top of her head.
“Thank you for being you,” he murmured. “I couldn’t ask for anything better.” Lucas released her, then took her hand as they walked the path back to the parking lot.
It was time.
Avery wanted the moment to be here, but she also didn’t want this day with Lucas to end.
Traffic was brutal, as Lucas had warned her earlier that it would be. Half the time, they sat unmoving. When that happened, Lucas turned to her and kissed her lips. Finally, after what felt like hours later, Lucas pulled off the highway. Avery wasn’t even sure where they were going to meet her birth mom.
Luke didn’t give her too many details about that. Why was her birth mother so secretive over everything? The time to ponder that would end soon. Avery could hopefully get all the answers she needed. Lucas drove through a windy area full of hills and large estates. Most of them were gated, and though Avery couldn’t fully tell, the houses looked huge. Mansions? Most of them looked like they might have been bigger than the inn!
Wow. People actually lived in huge houses like this? Avery stared out the window in awe. Too bad she wasn’t able to see this during the day. She’d get a better view of the homes. Did her birth mother live in one of these houses?
Who the hell was she that she could afford one like this? Suddenly, Avery fought the urge to be sick. Should she have asked Lucas to take her somewhere to change into better clothes?
Just breathe.
Lucas finally pulled up to a gate. He rolled down the window as he talked to one of the guards- guards? As in security? They seemed to know him. So he’d been here before? Avery clutched her chest. Her heart raced. She couldn’t breathe.
Could she really do this?
After a few moments, he pulled the car forward. They were in. The driveway was dimly lit. Avery stared up at the house. House? That’s what they called this? This one was bigger than the inn! Avery knew she was gawking. She couldn’t help it. The driveway circled around a fountain and there were a few cars in the drive, including a Porsche. “What does the woman do to earn living here?”
Oops. Had she just asked that out loud?
Lucas chuckled, but didn’t respond. He pulled the car in behind the Porsche and killed the engine. The next thing Avery knew, he was by her side, holding a hand to escort her out of the car. She took it tentatively, eyes wide, taking in the sights.
Now this was a bit intimidating. No. A bit? Understatement! She had never really thought about where her birth mother lived. She never expected anything so lavish. Lucas must have sensed her hesitation. She stalled, dragging her feet in the gravel. He stopped and turned to look at her. “Avery. It’s okay,” he said, his voice calm and soothing.
Was it okay? Should she really be here? A tumble of thoughts hit her all at once. “I- I’m not sure I can do this...”
Second thoughts, thirds, and beyond. Avery stood there, torn. Lucas cupped her face and held her gaze.
“I know you’re scared, but isn’t this what you’ve wanted, honey? You’re so close now.”
He was right. Avery knew that. She swallowed hard, trying to keep her nerves at bay. “You’re right. I know. I just- this house, it’s intimidating.”
She sounded stupid, like an idiot.
The front door opened, and a dark haired middle aged woman appeared, watching them, her stare cold. Oh please, let that woman not be her birth mother. That look, she held no emotion. Avery nodded and let Lucas take her hand again. When they reached the door, Lucas nodded at the woman. “Is she here yet?” he asked. His tone changed.
So this stone faced woman wasn’t her mother. Good. Avery released the breath she hadn’t realized she was holding. The woman shook her head in response to his question. Her gaze swept over Avery, lips set in a firm, thin line.
“Don’t forget, she has to sign a waiver.” The woman spoke in a tone that matched her face. Cold. Hard. Not gentle.
Sign a waiver? For what? Avery kept her mouth shut, not even sure how to respond. She stiffened, thankful that Lucas was by her side. He was managing this so well.
Avery wasn’t sure she’d be able to handle this without him.
“I know that,” Lucas said roughly, keeping Avery close. He hovered around her like a protective mother hen. Avery gripped his hand tight. The woman shut the door behind them as they entered a very large room. Vaulted ceilings, a large chandelier, and a large stone fireplace greeted her. Shiny hardwood floors underneath her feet. Oh, shit. Should she have wiped her feet or something? There was one thing to have a clean house, but this- this place didn’t look lived in! It’s like everything was set for show. Everything had a place, nothing was left unattended to. As beautiful as this room alone was, Avery didn’t grasp the idea of it being absolutely spotless. It wasn’t a home, it was like ... a museum. She couldn’t picture herself ever running around here as a child. There were probably maids that would follow someone everywhere they went, with a duster and a stern look on their face. Just like this woman. Avery shuddered at that thought. Was there any love, family, anything in this house? Her own home with Mom and Dad back in Texas may be small, much smaller in comparison to this home, but Avery always knew there was love in that house. Memories flooded her. Though she always had an appreciation for how she was raised, that feeling was enhanced even more as she gathered her thoughts.
“You may be seated here.” The woman gestured to the fancy sectional nearby. “I’ll be back with those papers.” Avery marveled at how stiff the woman walked. Someone had a stick up their butt. She never once smiled at Avery, welcomed her, nothing. Everything out here really was so different.
“Hey. Are you all right?” Lucas asked gently.
“I don’t know what to think right now.” Her legs were like rubber. Avery wasn’t sure how she managed to get to the couch to sit. “What papers, Lucas?”
He folded himself into the seat beside her and sighed. “Privacy. Your birth mother wants to make sure word doesn’t get out about who she is, blah blah blah.”
There it went again. The whole secret
thing. Why did it matter so much to the woman?
Avery swallowed again, her throat so very dry. She didn’t dare ask for a bottle of water. Hell, being here seemed already like the biggest inconvenience ever. “Who is she? Like I’m supposed to care about that? All I want is to know my birth mother,” Avery snapped, then lowered her voice. She didn’t like how it echoed and rang out in the large room.
No photos hung on the wall, no picture frames placed upon the mantle. There was artwork, fancy paintings and murals, but nothing that represented a family. Avery missed Texas and the inn terribly. This had to be the first time she was actually homesick since she’d come here with Lucas.
No warmth. No love. No ... homey feeling.
Avery wanted to bolt.
This might not go over as well. Not that she really had any expectations of how well it would or wouldn’t go, but right now, the feelings weren’t very uplifting.
“Avery.” Lucas snapped his fingers in front of her face. “Hey, sweetheart, you don’t look so good. You’re very pale. I knew we should have found something to eat.” He put his hand against her forehead. “Hey, you’re worrying me right now. Please talk to me.”
She shook her head, trying to gather her thoughts. “Sorry. I just- this is nothing like I’m used to.”
Lucas didn’t get a chance to respond. At the sound of footsteps and a throat clearing behind them, Avery and Lucas pulled apart slightly, focusing their attention back to the woman. She clutched some papers in her hands and thrust them forward at Avery and handed her a pen. “Read that and sign it, please.”
Avery read over the words in disbelief. It was like signing away her life or something. Something about if she violated the request for privacy, what would happen. The words blurred and jumped around on the page, until Avery realized tears had welled in her eyes and she quivered. The woman stood guard close by, like a warden in a prison or something and waited.
Whatever. She would sign the papers. Avery didn’t come here to expose anyone, all she wanted was to learn the damn truth about her past! Was that a crime? Apparently so.
She fought down a wave of nausea. She reached for the pen and scribbled her signature, handing both items to the woman, who nodded and backed away at last. “May I use a restroom, please?” Avery asked. She needed a moment away to regroup before she got sick.
The woman pointed to a door nearby. Avery made a dash for it, closed the door behind her and sank to the floor, shaking. This was terrible. She felt like a violator. It wasn’t too late. She could tell Lucas to take her back to the hotel and forget about it. Pretend like this never happened and just be thankful for everything she had, including love.
But being this close, could she really walk away from it all, despite how she felt at the moment?
Avery crawled toward the toilet and dry heaved. After a few moments, she got up, washed her face and hands and stared at her reflection. “Get it together, damn it,” she cursed. She looked terrible. Her sweat-matted hair hung, all stringy. Lucas was right, her skin was whiter than a ghost.
Someone rapped at the door. “Avery?” She froze.
Lucas. It was just Lucas.
“Just a minute!” she called hoarsely.
He didn’t need to see her like this.
The door opened. He poked his head in. “I don’t mean to barge. I just- you don’t look like you’re doing so well.” Lucas crossed into the entrance and gathered her in his arms, stroking her hair. Avery couldn’t help it. She let the tears fall. “Shh,” Lucas soothed. “What is it, Avery?”
Avery hiccuped. “It’s- It’s the house, the waivers, the coldness. I just lost it, am losing it, whatever.” She couldn’t even get out a full sentence. Lucas held her, rocked her until she calmed down. He didn’t say anything, didn’t need to. His touch, his embrace was enough.
“I know. This is the kind of life I grew up with, even in my adult life. You were and are, so very lucky, Avery. You grew up surrounded by love.” Lucas kissed her temple. “I know this can’t be easy for you. Just take a deep breath. You’ll get through this, because you are a strong woman. I’m right here with you. Just breathe. There you go.” Lucas attempted a smile as Avery did as he suggested. Inhale, exhale, inhale. Her heartbeat went back to normal and soon Avery was back to calm. Lucas tipped her chin up. “Better?”
Avery nodded. For the most part. She could breathe again, but she wasn’t better. It would have to do. “If you were me, what would you do?”
“If I had the chance to ask my parents anything, I would want to. I’d ask them why I wasn’t enough, why they couldn’t get and stay sober to take care of me. All my life, I wanted to mean something to them. Instead, I rarely saw them. I had to fight like hell to feel normal. I hated them, yet I loved them. I know it must hurt, but at least you got a shot at the life you ended up with.”
He was right. So right.
Avery had to do this. She had this chance.
Lucas, he would never get that chance.
“You’re right. I’m ready to go back.”
“Okay. Come on. Let’s go wait. If you feel the need to freak out again, just squeeze my hand as tight as you need. I won’t leave your side, sweetheart.”
“Thank you, Lucas. Thank you for everything,” Avery whispered. Please, let no more tears fall. She wanted to be together when her birth mother came in. So far, she wasn’t making the best impression. When she and Lucas came back out, that cold woman waited for them, giving Avery the evil eye.
Geez. Did anything phase that woman at all? She’d never even said her name.
“She’s running late,” the woman said to Lucas, turning her stare away from Avery. “We’ll just wait here for a little bit.”
Great. Talk about intense. To sit across from this woman and avoid or meet her stony stare? Yep, that was the perfect way to help Avery not to hyperventilate. Not!
Deep breaths. Just as Lucas said.
Think about Lucas. Focus on something good.
His sexy smile, his beautiful eyes, the way he had been in tune with Avery’s every need and desire. Mysterious, intense, so freaking amazing. Those words described Lucas so well. Avery longed to know more. So much more.
She thought about what he said when consoling her in the bathroom. About how this environment was how he grew up. No wonder he always acted so serious when they first met. Lucas wasn’t used to the way Avery lived. Love, affection and plenty of communication. If her birth mother had kept her, would Avery turned out like Lucas? Lost, unsure, and so dark?
It didn’t matter. She hadn’t. For that, she was thankful.
Time seemed to crawl by at a turtle’s pace. The woman never even tried to hold conversation. Avery’s mind wandered off and on. Lucas was in his own thoughts as well, but true to his word, he never left her side, and often times squeezed her hand and would flash a tight smile her way. A phone rang, and the Warden, as Avery came to think of the woman, moved briskly to answer it. Avery noticed Lucas’s gaze followed her.
He was upset about something. What was it?
Avery had a feeling she was being stood up. She’d come all the way here, to her birth mother’s house, when the woman wasn’t even here, and still she stood Avery up?
That feeling of nausea came back.
Breathe. One. Two. Three. Four. Five.
Warden lady came back, arms crossed over her chest. “She isn’t going to make it this evening. I’m afraid we will have to reschedule.”
“What the fuck?” Lucas exploded.
Avery gasped at his sudden outburst.
“That’s a bunch of crap. She agreed to this!”
“Well, you know as well as I do things come up. What am I supposed to do?” Warden Woman snapped, just as angry as Lucas. Her nostrils flared, her cheeks flushing red.
She wasn’t coming.
She’s not coming.
Too calmly, Avery got to her feet. “It’s fine, Lucas. Let’s just go, please,” she said with no emotion. Disappointment sagged in her
shoulders and Avery cursed herself for getting her hopes up so high.
“It’s not fine, Avery,” Lucas snapped, turning his angry eyes on her. When she reeled back, his eyes softened. “I’m sorry, baby. I didn’t mean to snap at you.” Lucas tried hold her, but Avery brushed his hand away.
“I’d like to leave, please,” Avery fumed. She needed to get out of this environment. Now.
Lucas nodded. “Of course. We’ll go right now.” He shot a look at Warden Woman. “You tell her I’m not done with this. She promised, and that’s a bunch of shit that she backed out.”
Avery was about to open her mouth and tell Lucas not to worry, but she couldn’t get the words out. The woman said nothing to his words, just followed them out and slammed the door behind them. Avery breathed a sigh of relief when she took a deep breath of fresh air, so glad to be out of that stuffy house.
“Oh Avery. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” Lucas tried again, but she stepped away from his outstretched arms.
“Please. Let’s just go.” Avery gestured to the car. The further away she got from here, the better off she’d be. A good night’s sleep, a good cry, and she’d get over it. But right now, Avery no longer wanted this place in her view.
“Okay.” Lucas dropped his arms, shoulders sagging, but he complied. He unlocked the door for her, then climbed in on the driver’s side. Wordlessly, he started the car and backed out. When he approached the gate, the guards waved him out and he pulled away. Avery didn’t dare look behind her.
Chapter Twenty Three
As much as he wanted to, Lucas didn’t talk on the way back to the hotel. The times he’d tried to reach out to Avery, she pushed him away with fury. Not that Lucas could blame her. She was hurt, disappointed, and angry. She’d already had a hard time when they were in the house waiting, and her birth mother not showing was the tip of the iceberg. There was absolutely nothing he could do, short of getting that damn woman to actually keep her promise.
Avery was crushed. Lucas had never seen her this way. So many times he thought about reaching out, holding her hand, but just left it alone. Avery stared out the window. It tore Lucas up inside to see her shut down like this. Damn it! He’d brought her here to get answers, not to have her heart broken.