by Various
How could he say he loved her? How?
“It makes you a complication,” Lucas admitted. “When I came to Harmony’s Echo, I was there to see what happens with your father. To see if he’d honor your birth mother’s request to be anonymous. Why do you think I tried to stay away from you? My reaction to you, my feelings, that was never supposed to happen. How was I ever to know that I’d fall in love with you? You’re more than just a job, a mission, Avery. So much more. And I know I’ve gone and fucked that up by not being honest from the start. You have to understand-”
“I don’t have to understand anything except that you’re a liar and untrustworthy!” Avery shot to her feet. She’d surprised Lucas with that, and he almost lost his balance from where he’d knelt. Lucas jumped up and made an attempt to reach for her.
Oh, but wasn’t this so familiar? Avery couldn’t live a life like this. Bombshell after bombshell. Lies? No. A life with Lucas wasn’t going to happen. “You jumped into the middle of things that were never your business. What, you thought because you’re name was cleared that you owe my birth mother? So you live under her roof, her rules and get what you want?” Avery went off. She knew she made no sense, throwing out accusations when she had no idea what really mattered.
Lucas paled. She’d hit him right where it counted with her words.
“Avery, no.” Hurt flashed in his eyes. “I didn’t get what I wanted. Sure, I had a place to live, but it wasn’t a home. What you felt last night- I understand that. It was better than the streets at first, but there’s no love in that house. I stayed there after the accident with Sam because I thought I owed her. I was wrong. So damn wrong! I was afraid if I left, she would take back the care she was paying for Sam to get better. I hid. Every time I helped your mom and her ‘family’, I was paid, very nicely, but it should have stopped a long time ago. When I met you, started feeling for you, I begged her to leave me alone. No. She held it over my head that I owed her. I told her after this, I was done. I convinced her to meet you. I didn’t know she had a daughter that she’d left behind until she told me your father planned on making contact with you. I regret my past, I regret things I’ve done, but I don’t regret it leading me to you.” He was pleading with her. That look on his face...
Lucas couldn’t be trusted. Avery should have gone with her first instinct. Not let her heart get in the way. Lucas was a man of secrets. She’d known that from the start. She just had no idea the extent of those secrets until now.
“What are these messes, besides me, that you cleaned up for her? Huh, Lucas? What kind of trouble are you in?”
Lucas shook his head. “Most of them were small things. Your mom has a habit of acting out without thinking, and someone gets hurt. I’m usually the one to smooth things over.”
Vague. Too vague.
That answered nothing!
“So you were sent to distract me from finding out about her or something?” Avery crossed her arms over her chest. It was cold in here all of a sudden. Icy, invisible fingers encased her body, her feelings. What next? Lucas was the only ally she had here. She didn’t know what he was any longer. He’d lied. He knew all along who she was, who her mother was, and flat out told her he didn’t know her personally. Now it came to light that the woman that gave Avery away so easily took Lucas in? Covered his ass, his mistakes and used it for personal gain? It was sick. All of it. Disgusted, Avery made her best attempt to hold in her tears that threatened to fall. No. She would not cry over her birth mother any longer. She sure as hell wouldn’t cry over Lucas Bennett. No. That had to stop right now.
“No, Avery. All I was supposed to do was make sure Rodney didn’t rat her out. That’s it. I know it doesn’t help. I know-” His voice broke. He stood, reaching out for her but Avery moved out of his reach.
“Don’t touch me. Don’t get near me,” Avery snapped. Lucas’s eyes widened, his lips parted like he had something more to say. His hands dropped and he cast his eyes downward.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered. “You’ll never know how much. If there’s anything I can do-”
“Anything you can do? Haven’t you done enough? You toyed with me, Lucas. How am I supposed to know or believe your feelings are real? My birth mother didn’t have it in her to be honest, so she sent you? And again, you never told me any of this! I agonized about all of it, and you knew. Go back and tell her I don’t care. Whoever she is, I hope she lives her life knowing that I am better off without her.” Avery grabbed her purse. She needed to get out here. Even if it were just a walk around this place. She couldn’t sit in this room with Lucas anymore. “I’m sorry for your loss, Lucas. It’s not easy to lose someone you care about. I wish it hadn’t taken this happening for you to be honest with yourself, or to me for that matter.” She wrapped her hand around the doorknob, poised to go. She hesitated for a mere second. Lucas took that opportunity to try once more.
“Avery. Don’t go. Stay. Yell at me, slap me, I don’t care. Please don’t walk out on me.” His voice was strangled.
Avery shut off the part of her that cared.
“I’m sorry, Lucas. I need to get out of here for awhile. I need time to think.”
With nothing more to say, Avery yanked open the door and stalked out of the room, not giving Lucas another glance.
*****
Lucas wanted so badly to run after Avery. Maybe it was best he let her go blow off some steam. She would come back, maybe ready to talk. The worst was over, right? He’d said what he needed to. He’d expected Avery to get angry. Hell, he was angry with himself. Lucas hated himself for his past. Sam’s death left an open wound and he’d exposed himself to Avery. Two hits in just a span of hours. A large void filled him with sadness. Lucas shuffled outside to the balcony and stared blankly at the world below. The blazing afternoon sun graced the pool and waves of light reflected up into some of the windows.
“I’m so sorry, Sam. I fucked up and it never got any better,” Lucas muttered to the sky, as if Sam was there watching and could hear him. “I should have come to see you. I should have begged for your forgiveness. I shouldn’t have gone down this road. Wow, am I the worst friend ever. Rest in peace.” Lucas sank to the ground, head in his hands.
What am I doing? Hiding again? No, stop this! Get off your dumb ass and change things around this time.
Lucas drew a shaky breath. His phone rang.
Avery’s birth mother. He snapped open the phone.
“What do you want?”
“Lucas? Are you all right?”
Lucas moved back inside, not wanting to cause a commotion and have everyone stare up at him. He fumed. “Of course I’m not all right. I’ve lost a friend, and I’ve lost Avery. What more do you want from me?”
“Does she know who I am?”
Lucas blanched. “You know what? It’s not always about you. I told her that I knew you, that I’ve been staying with you and taking care of your shit. That was enough for her. She took off, so upset. She fucking hates me.”
Because of you!
“I’m sorry, Lucas. I never realized you were going to have feelings for her.”
“Yeah, neither did I. But I do and now she can’t stand the sight of me. You know, I don’t want to talk about this with you. What did you call for?” Lucas rubbed his head.
“I wanted to talk about arrangements for Sam,” she said softly. “And- I know you don’t want to hear this, but I received some disturbing letters, and I need your help.”
“I don’t want to help you anymore!” Lucas yelled. “Did I not tell you I’m done? You want to connect or not connect with your daughter, then you take care of it. I’m moving on. What more do you want me to do for you?”
Silence. Had she hung up?
“Lucas, it involves Avery. It’s not good. I know how you feel about her, so you’re the one I need to come to about this. It’s- I think it involves her father.”
Chapter Twenty Five
Please don’t let him be in that room waiting for me.
Two ho
urs after the fight with Lucas, Avery made her way back to the suite. She wanted nothing more to do with California. Avery planned on going to that room, grabbing her luggage, and leaving. She was homesick. She missed Texas terribly and couldn’t wait to get back. Maybe she never should have come in the first place. Rodney could tell her about her mother, or he wouldn’t. Avery didn’t care anymore. Let Lucas deal with his demons. Let him handle her birth mom.
She pulled out the key card and slid it through the slot in haste. As she pushed the door open, her heart lodged in her throat. Then she sighed with relief when she found the room empty. Good.
Avery swept in, gathered her belongings and found the plane tickets. Thankfully, they were open ended, to be used whenever they were ready to leave. Well, she was ready to go now.
She grabbed one and stuffed it in her purse. Even if she had to go standby and wait for a day or two, she didn’t care. Avery gave the room one last look, making sure she hadn’t forgotten anything. When she spotted the pad of paper on the table where she’d been writing earlier, Avery tore off the sheet with the words she’d written and crumpled them, tossing it back on the table. There was no reason for that song anymore. Avery didn’t have the heart or the emotion to finish the lyrics. When her phone rang and the caller on the other end announced that her cab was outside and waiting, Avery took another deep breath, counted to ten, and grabbed her suitcase and bag, ready to say good bye. Before she could allow regrets or second guesses to settle in, Avery pivoted and left the room. She slid the key card underneath the door and headed for the elevator, never looking back.
The cabbie helped Avery with her bags. Once she settled in the backseat, he glanced at her from the rear view mirror. “Where are we going, Miss?”
“The airport,” Avery said, loud enough for him to hear. Her heart was empty. The tears wouldn’t come, the anger faded and she only felt ... nothing. Numb.
“The bright lights of California didn’t pan out for you the way you planned?” the cabbie inquired, starting the meter and pulling out of the pick up/drop off spot. Avery sighed in relief when she could no longer see the hotel.
“Something like that.”
Please. No more questions.
Avery didn’t want to talk. But she didn’t want to be rude either.
Thankfully, the man took the hint. He turned the radio on to some jazz station and left it at that. Avery stared out the window, the buildings and surroundings a blur as the cab sped up.
Some dreams weren’t meant to be found. Some wishes to never come true. The only way to learn that is to experience it.
But it hurt. Stung, worse than any bee sting, worse than any heartache Avery had ever suffered. Why did it have to hurt so much? Why did she have to care so deeply? Why couldn’t she switch her memory off and pretend she never met Lucas Bennett?
Why did she still want him in her life? The ache only grew as she got further and further away from the memories. Avery toyed with her purse strap. The charm bracelet Lucas gave her sparkled on her arm. She quickly unclasped it and put it in her purse. She didn’t need a constant reminder of him.
Damned if she did, damned if she didn’t. Avery blinked, surprised when the tears fell anyway, despite her not wanting them to. She didn’t want to cry! She didn’t want to feel.
Avery sank lower in the seat, wishing she could just disappear. She reached for her phone and dialed a number. The first few people she tried never answered. On her last try, someone finally responded. “Hey, it’s Avery,” she said, her voice cracking. “Please do me a favor. When I’m able to book a flight, will you meet me at the airport when I come home? I- I’m not ready to answer questions yet. Thank you. I really appreciate it. I’ll see you soon, hopefully. Don’t- don’t tell anyone else just yet.”
She had missed calls from Lucas. She cleared them out and shut the phone off, tossing it carelessly into her purse.
Was she overreacting?
No. He had plenty of chances to tell her. She’d asked him! Flat out, Lucas kept it from her.
That wasn’t something she could tolerate. Avery didn’t want to have to second guess every thing that someone said.
This was for the best. It was. Distancing herself from Lucas and her feelings for him was for the best.
So why did it hurt so damn much? Why couldn’t she shut off what she felt and leave it here, too?
Avery became so lost in her thoughts, her arrival at the airport actually surprised her. She paid the cab driver, left a generous tip and scrambled to get out. Once she had all of her belongings in hand, Avery headed to the ticket counter to see what she could do about getting home.
Luck was on her side. Avery was able to snag a flight home in two hours. She thanked the lady behind the counter numerous times for all her help.
Just a few days ago, Avery had arrived here. What a difference just a couple days made. She’d been so ready to conquer her past, spend some time with a man she thought she could fall for.
Thought she could?
No.
Avery already had. She loved Lucas.
He said he loved her.
But the man had to lie to her face and destroy the trust that had been building. Damn it, hadn’t she suffered enough? Why, Lucas, why?
This time, when tears pricked her eyes, Avery let them fall.
******
Lucas stormed through the doors of the house he frankly never wanted to see again. Too many memories he no longer wanted crowding his mind were there. Almost half of his life that he couldn’t get back. How could he loathe a place so much? The only good thing, and not that it mattered anymore, that this place ever did for him had been to lead him to Avery. The woman that changed it all for him.
What good was it to find love if it were taken away because of lies? His lies? His secret keeping.
Lucas hated Avery’s birth mother for putting him in this position. Most of all, Lucas hated who he’d become. Wasn’t getting away from the foster system all those years ago supposed to teach him who not to be? Hadn’t the years of his parents getting high and drinking and lying all the time taught him a damn thing?
She may have put you in this position, but you were the one that lied when you had a chance to tell Avery everything.
Lucas trembled with rage.
Avery’s birth mother sat on the same couch he and Avery were waiting on last night. She held folded papers in her hand, and stood when Lucas came in. She looked tired. Dark circles under her eyes. Her cheeks red and splotchy. She didn’t look well.
“What the hell happened to you?” Lucas snapped, throwing himself into the seat and folding his arms. He waited for a response.
“I’m being blackmailed, Lucas. Threatened. I have been for months.” She sat beside him and thrust the papers at him. “Look.”
Great. So what, she wanted him to go take care of this too? Hell no. He shot her a look. She met his stare.
“You’ll want to see this, damn it. Lucas, stop being a stubborn ass and shove your pride aside for a few minutes, okay? Whoever is doing this knows about Avery, and I have a feeling she’s in danger. Did I not warn you earlier?” She opened his palm, forcing the papers in his hand.
Lucas sighed and looked at them. His heart skipped a beat when he noticed photos of Avery. Recent ones. From here, even. With him. And the notes. Lucas flipped through them, reading each one thoroughly. Sure enough, someone had enough leverage to bring her down, and drag innocent people in the mix, too.
Avery. Someone had been watching Avery. And him.
The texts. The attempt to run him over back in Texas. The incident with Avery when she’d gone to band practice. They were all related.
“Who all knows about Avery?” Lucas asked roughly, grabbing his phone from his pocket. Avery could be anywhere right about now. Hopefully, she’d gone back to the hotel room and blew off steam there. If anything happened to her, Lucas would never be able to forgive himself. He was supposed to keep her safe. Hell, he was supposed to love her. He di
d love her.
Not enough to be honest earlier.
You wouldn’t know love if it bit you in the ass.
Damn evil conscience. Shut up. Just shut up!
“Just you, a few people here, and Rodney.”
“Rodney. Do you think he’s behind this?” Lucas asked. He never did trust that man. Rodney swept in and seemed to want to take over. In a hurry to make sure Avery was his child. What did he really want? To know his daughter, or to bribe money from her mother?
“I don’t know. The Rodney I knew back then ... never. But it’s been decades since I saw him until I ran into him about a year ago.”
“Well, when did these threats start?”
“Lucas, I get things like this all the time. I’m no stranger to being stalked, getting letters like this. You know that.”
He sure did, but this was the first time that someone innocent had been threatened. Avery was a pawn in someone’s sick game. He stared at the photos again. Some of them, he recognized from Texas. A sinking feeling hit him in the chest. Lucas tried to call Avery’s phone again. Straight to voice mail. “Avery. Sweetheart, I need to talk to you. I know you’re pissed at me, rightfully so, but this has nothing to do with us. I need to know you’re safe, and okay. Avery- someone’s been following you. Us. I didn’t want to get into this over a message, but you’re not answering. Call me. Please. Text me. I don’t care, just let me know you are safe.” Lucas jumped up. “I need to go back to the suite. I’ve got to find her.”
“Do you think- something happened to her?”
“I don’t know, but I won’t rest until she’s beside me where I can keep her safe.” Except he couldn’t keep her safe from himself. Lucas pushed aside his guilt and knew what he had to do. Find Avery. Fill her in, and then figure out what to do next.
“I’m coming with you.”
Lucas was about to protest, but he decided against it. This would be the time she could tell him everything, and maybe when they found Avery, they could all sort this out.
“Let’s go find Avery.”
In record time, Lucas pulled up to the hotel. He’d driven faster than he should have, and was thankful that no cops had been around to pull him over. He waited only a minute for Avery’s birth mother to put her disguise on before bolting to the room. He couldn’t get that key card in fast enough. He pushed the door open and rushed into the room. “Avery? Where are you?”