Welcome to Pembrooke: The Complete Pembrooke Series

by Jessica Prince

  Even from over five hundred miles away.

  28

  Lilly

  “Oh, sweetie. We’ve got to find a way to turn that frown upside down.”

  I looked up from tracing random patterns on the scarred wooden top of my desk and offered Kyle a pathetic excuse for a smile. He scowled in return. “That’s not going to cut it, beautiful.”

  “Sorry,” I offered. I felt bad, honestly. I’d been a pain to be around for the past several weeks. Honestly, I was shocked that Kyle and Samantha hadn’t gotten tired of my doom and gloom demeanor yet and kicked me out of my own studio. I was seriously bringing the morale of the place down. Hell, I’d spent Christmas and New Year’s moping around my parents’ house like someone had just kicked my puppy. They watched on with equal concern, but neither of them pushed, giving me space to come to them if I needed it.

  Eventually, on New Year’s Day I sat down with my father and told the story once more for him as Mom flittered around the kitchen cooking our traditional New Year’s dinner. He offered me a steady shoulder, but kept his opinions of Quinn to himself, telling me he’d said all he needed to say the night of the Winter Showcase; that I was a grownup who was going to travel my own paths, but at the end of the day he’d be there for me no matter what.

  “I’ve just got a lot on my mind,” I said to Kyle.

  He walked through the doorway and plopped down in the torn leather chair across from my desk. “I’d say. You’ve got about six feet, three inches, and 22o pound of muscular man on your mind. Yeah, babe. That’s a lot.”

  I rolled my eyes to the ceiling and sat back in exasperation. “What’s wrong with me, Kyle? It’s been a month. Why am I still hung up on a guy who never really wanted me in the first place?”

  His eyes grew sympathetic as he studied me. I was not going to cry. I wasn’t! I’d cried more than any sane human being thought possible these past few months. I couldn’t risk another tear. I’d more than likely die of dehydration.

  “Honey bun, that’s easy. It’s because you love him.”

  I dropped my head into my hands with a groan. “I do. Damn it. It’s so easy to fall into love, but fucking impossible to fall out. It’s not fair, Kyle!”

  “If it’s any consolation, he does want you.”

  I snorted at that. “You’re wrong.”

  Sitting forward in the chair, he propped his elbows on his knees and clasped his hands together. “I’m not. That man was crazy about you, but he’s broken, Lil. Undeniably so. I’ve never seen a man more shattered before, and that’s really saying something, seeing as I’m a gay man who was raised in a strict Southern Baptist household. Talk about being shattered.”

  “I just…” I pulled a deep breath in through my nose and let it out on a heavy, heart-sick sigh. “I wanted to help him. Every time I got close enough to help fix things he’d push me away.”

  “Oh, sweetheart.” His tone was so soft, so full of sympathy that my eyes began to burn. “You can’t fix a man like that.”

  One lone tear broke free and slid down my cheek. Sniffling, I batted it away and looked over at Kyle angrily. “So, what? He’s just supposed to walk around living half a life until the day he dies? How is that fair, Kyle? Explain that to me.”

  Standing from the chair, he made his way around the desk and squatted down so he could wrap his arms around me. “I didn’t say that,” he whispered. “What I mean is, you can’t fix a man like that. But you can try to be what he needs in order to make him want to fix himself.”

  The heaviness of my emotions was too much to bear at the moment, the weight of everything sat on me like bricks. I needed to lighten the tension, so pulling out of Kyle’s arms, I gave a small laugh and asked, “So you’re like a gay Gandhi now?”

  Being a good enough friend to know exactly what I was doing, he gave me the out I was in desperate need of and teased back. “Don’t hate on my mad intellectual skills.”

  I let out a watery laugh and stood up, wrapping my arms around Kyle’s trim waist and resting my head on his chest as he returned my hug. Kyle really gave the best hugs. “Thanks.”

  “Anything, honey bun. You know that.”

  We pulled apart, Kyle heading for the door as I set about locking up the studio for the night. My cellphone rang just as I hit the back stairs to my apartment.

  “Hey Mom, what’s up?”

  “Sweetheart.”

  Her voice cracked on that one word, the tears so evident in her voice that every fiber in my body froze, my blood running cold.

  The hairs on my arm stood on end as I asked the question I dreaded the answer to. “Mom? What’s wrong?”

  “Honey, I need… I need you to come home. Your father…”

  “No,” I shook my head frantically as uncontrollable tears broke free. “No. No!”

  “I’m so sorry,” she said on a pained whisper. “I’m so, so sorry sweetheart.”

  “Daddy…” I dropped to my knees and sobbed through the line as my heart broke in two.

  All it took was one phone call; that was it. One single phone call for my entire world to…

  Just stop.

  And the worst part was, the one person I wanted to seek comfort in was still so out of reach.

  29

  Quinn

  I couldn’t remember the last time I’d ever been so mentally and physically exhausted. The warehouse on the outskirts of town had been abandoned for years, and the county had been considering tearing it down for a while now, but with all the junk that had accumulated inside over the years, the goddamned place had gone up like a match.

  It had been fully engulfed by the time we got there, and there was no chance any of us were getting inside. Cap had called for a defensive attack as soon as we got on scene, so we spent hours trying to keep it contained so it wouldn’t spread to the other buildings around it.

  By the time we put the son of a bitch out and got back to the station, it was shift change. We cleaned and restocked the engine and re-stacked the hose before heading for the showers, and when I finally made it to my truck, I was dead on my feet. I was thankful my mom was getting Sophia to school this morning, because I couldn’t imagine anything but going home and collapsing face down in my bed and passing out for the next several hours.

  Tossing my duffle bag into the passenger seat, I climbed in, slammed the door, and started the engine, ready to get home. Just as I pulled out of the parking lot, my phone pinged from inside my duffle. Keeping my eyes on the road, I unzipped the bag with one hand and fished around inside. The ping was an alert, letting me know I had a missed call.

  I had expected the calls to be from my mom or Sophia, but something in my gut tightened at the sight of that little number 2 next to Lilly’s name. We’d barely spoken five words to each other in the month that had passed since I ended things, so seeing that she had called twice in the span of just a few hours set me on edge. As I swiped my screen and thumbed to her contacts, I couldn’t shake the feeling that something was wrong.

  Her phone rang one time before going straight to voicemail and that knot in my stomach began to sour. I hung up and hit redial three more times to the exact same result. Suddenly, the idea of sleep no longer held any appeal. I needed to know where Lilly was, that she was safe.

  Turning my truck in the opposite direction of my house, I headed for Main, going faster than the allotted speed limit. As soon as Lilly’s dance school came into view, I whipped my truck into the first available space and jumped from the cab as soon as I pulled the key from the ignition.

  The blinds were lifted, letting me know the school was open, but the main studio was empty. I shoved through the glass doors at a near run, my eyes scanning over every square inch of the lobby as a startled Kyle looked at me like I’d just grown a second head. “Quinn? Where’s the fire, man?”

  “Where is she?”

  His head cocked to the side as his forehead creased in confusion. The tension in my gut tightened at his silence. “What?”


  “Lilly,” I snapped, quickly losing patience. “She called me but I was at work…” I dragged my hands through my hair as that feeling of helplessness grew. I knew something wasn’t right. “I missed the calls. I tried calling her back this morning, but it’s going straight to voicemail. Is she okay? Did something happen?”

  A wave of sadness washed over Kyle’s face. “She’s not here, Quinn. She’s in Jackson Hole.” At that, my heart stopped, because I knew. “Her father passed away last night.”

  “Shit,” I hissed as I began to pace. Her father had died, the one thing she’d feared for so long had finally happened… and she’d reached out to me. And I hadn’t been there for her. “Thanks,” I muttered quickly, as I turned and bolted out the door. As soon as I got into my truck, I pulled my phone from the cup holder and hit call on the number.

  “Quinn?”

  “Mom, I need a favor,” I spoke quickly as I headed down Main back toward my house. “Do you think you could keep Sophia for a few more days? There’s somewhere I need to be.”

  Lilly

  It was like I was living in some sort of haze. Everyone around me was moving and talking, but I could barely make out the shapes and sounds over my own grief. My dad should have been there. He should have been playing host to all the extended family that was currently filling up my parents’ house. He was always so good at making everyone feel welcome.

  But he wasn’t there. And the house wasn’t filled with family because they wanted to come for a visit. They were there to help us grieve and say goodbye to the best man I’d ever known.

  I wasn’t ready.

  I didn’t want to say goodbye yet. I didn’t want to believe he was really gone, that he slipped away in his sleep peacefully. I wanted to climb the stairs and lock myself in my old bedroom so I could curl up on the bed and cry until there weren’t any tears left.

  But I couldn’t do that. My mother needed me to be the strong one. She’d lost the love of her life, and although she was putting on a brave face, I could see just how much she was hurting. It shone in her eyes like a spotlight. If she crumbled, I needed to be there to pick her back up and hold her together. So I couldn’t breakdown. Not yet.

  I’d called Eliza on my way to Jackson Hole the night before. She was on her way from Denver and I was thankful for that, even though I’d told her it wasn’t necessary. She was pregnant and her husband was in the middle of an undefeated season. She had responsibilities and a life of her own that she needed to handle there, but she refused to hear it. She’d booked a flight and was already on her way from the airport. I couldn’t wait to see her, despite the circumstances. She was just the person I needed with me during this time. While I was holding my mother up, Eliza would be at my side, doing the same for me, and even though it made me feel like a burden, I really needed that right now.

  “How are you doing, dear?”

  I looked from the window, where I’d been standing for the past half hour, looking out at the snow-covered mountains on the horizon. Offering up a small smile that didn’t quite reach my eyes, I gave Aunt Jenny the standard response I’d been giving for the past four hours.

  “I’m okay. Sad, but okay.”

  A total lie, but they didn’t really need to hear the truth, did they? Everyone was already sad enough.

  “Your father was a wonderful man. He will be missed,” she whispered as her eyes grew misty, oblivious to the fact I was barely holding myself together. Her intentions were good, it just wasn’t the right time for me.

  “He was,” I somehow managed past the lump in my throat. “Thank you.” Blessedly, my cell phone began ringing in my back pocket at that second, and I used the distraction to end the conversation with my well-meaning aunt. “Excuse me,” I started. “I should take this. It’s probably Eliza.”

  I quickly worked my way through the formal living room at the back of the house to the quiet family room at the front before pulling my phone from my pocket. At the sight of Quinn’s name on the screen, my heart did something I hadn’t even thought possible and cracked even more. It was like there was no limit to the amount of suffering one’s heart could take.

  I sent the call to voicemail just like I had all the others I’d been getting since early this morning. Only this time, once it stopped ringing, I went into my contacts and blocked his number. I’d made a huge mistake last night, calling him. Apparently grief made me do stupid things, because when I got the call from my mother, he’d been the first person I thought of, the first person I called, the first person I wanted with me as my world came to a screeching, crashing halt.

  But he didn’t answer.

  We’d been over for a month, and in that time the only conversations we’d had were about Sophia’s dance classes. I’d told him I loved him and he had walked out on me, ending everything in the blink of an eye. Why I thought he could possibly be my rock during the hard times was a mystery. I wasn’t going to make the same mistake twice. Quinn made it clear he wanted me out of his life, so I was out.

  Sitting on the squashy, overstuffed sectional that took up most of the space in the cozy family room, I lay my head back and curled my legs underneath me, letting the heat from the fire in the fireplace try and penetrate the chill I’d been feeling since I got the phone call the night before.

  I tuned out the sounds and voices coming from the back of the house and let my mind wander as I closed my eyes. I just needed a little space for a bit, then I’d go back in to Mom and make sure she was okay.

  At some point I must have dozed off, because the sound of the doorbell ringing jolted me awake. I blinked the sleep from my eyes just as the person on the other side of the door began to knock softly. “I got it,” I called out, not wanting my mother to have to bother with any more neighbors dropping off casserole dishes.

  Placing my hand on the doorknob, I twisted and pulled it opened, prepared to give the well-wisher a smile and move them on, but when my eyes lifted and connected with those familiar sea-green eyes everything in me froze.

  “Lilly.”

  Just when I thought my life couldn’t possibly get any worse. The sound of his deep, raspy voice caused every nerve ending in my body to fire. “Quinn.” My voice came out just as flat and emotionless as I was feeling. The sight of him was too much. Everything inside of me went numb. It was as though my body shut down as a countermeasure to prevent me from completely losing it, shutting out all emotion. “What are you doing here?”

  “I’m so sorry.” His face was full of sympathy as he took a step closer. I backed up, but kept my fingers wrapped around the edge of the solid wood door, needing something to hold on to, something that I could place between us with a flick of the wrist. “I didn’t see your calls until this morning. There was a fire last night and I—”

  I held up my hand to stop him. I didn’t doubt he was telling the truth. If I were honest, I hadn’t even considered that he was at work when I’d called. But that didn’t change anything.

  “It doesn’t matter. I shouldn’t have called you.”

  His brow furrowed and the frustration flickered in his gaze. “Of course you should have. Your father passed and you were all alone. If I could have, I would have been there for you.”

  Some of the pain dwindled as anger began to take its place. “Yeah, well it’s not really your place to be there for me, now is it?” I snapped. “I appreciate you coming out here, but now’s really not a good time.”

  I moved to shut the door, but his big, booted foot shot out and stopped it. His voice went soft, so full of pity when he said, “Lilly,” that the numbness I had shielded myself with cracked and began to spider like a windshield after being hit by a rock until it finally just gave way. Oh no. Oh no, no, no. I was not going to cry in front of him. I wasn’t! But as I stood there, blinking rapidly and sniffling at the burning in my nose, I knew I was about to lose my battle. And when he reached out and pulled me into his strong arms, the dam burst. “Shhh,” he soothed. “It’s okay.”

  As o
ne arm wrapped around my waist, holding me firmly to him, his other hand trailed through my hair. “I’ve got you,” he whispered against the crown of my head. “I’m here, I’ve got you.”

  I sobbed into the cotton of his sweater, so overwrought I couldn’t find it in me to enjoy his clean, masculine scent. A person could only handle so much heartache until they were swept under the weight of it. And as he offered me his strength and comfort, I let it out and allowed the current to temporarily drag me down.

  30

  Quinn

  She let me hold her.

  Only for a few minutes as her grief overcame her, but it was still a start.

  Placing her hands on my chest, she pushed away and wiped the tears from her red-rimmed eyes before inhaling deeply through her nose. “I’m okay now,” she spoke, her voice hoarse from crying. “Thanks.”

  Unable to help myself, I reached out to tuck a wayward strand of hair behind her ear, only to have her jerk her head back out of my reach. “I’m not going anywhere,” I told her, tucking my hands into my pockets so I wouldn’t feel tempted to reach out again. “I know what it’s like to lose someone you love.” At the mention of Addy something indecipherable flitted across her face, but it disappeared before I could place it. “You need people around you who care right now. I’m going to be one of those people, Lilly. Because despite what’s happened between us, I do care about you.”

  She muttered something under her breath that sounded suspiciously like yeah, just not enough, but before I could press her further, another voice from the hallway interrupted.