Again

by Brandy Jeffus

  Exhaustion overwhelms me. I feel like I’ve just been through a triathlon. I want to see Eli so bad it hurts. I want to kiss him, to hold him and lie down next to him. He was almost taken away from me again, and the thought made me emotional.

  An hour later, when the doctor comes and lets us know that Eli can have visitors I jump out of my seat. Dizziness clouds my head, but I follow the doctor. The need to be with Eli is overpowering. His parents graciously let me in as the first visitor.

  He looks like he has shrunk. His skin is pale; his hair greasy and lifeless. A standard white hospital blanket’s pulled halfway up his chest. Bandages cover his chest. He locks eyes with me and gives me his crooked smile and I nearly collapse in tears. I tentatively grab his hand when I reach his bedside. “Hi there, handsome.”

  “Hey, baby doll. Are you okay? You didn’t get hurt did you?” His caring, selfless question makes tears fall down my cheeks.

  I shake my head no, “I’m fine, how are you? Are you hurting?”

  “Nah, I’m good right now. They’ve given me lots of good drugs. Ha!” He smiles again, “Come here babe. You can lie down beside me.” He pats the bed and I gingerly climb in, careful not to touch or bump his chest. My head is even with his and he kisses my nose, forehead and cheeks.

  “You saved my life today, Eli,” I whisper. I trace his eyebrows with my finger.

  “It was nothing I wouldn’t do again. I’m glad you made it unscathed. It’s been a heck of a day, huh?” his voice is raw with emotion. I nod and close my eyes, as his lips find my forehead again. Things are content as I lie here beside him. Every breath he takes is a blessing and makes me relieved that I haven’t lost him. We are still for a long time when he finally speaks.

  “You know where I want to go when I get out of here?”

  “Where’s that?” I whisper.

  “I’d like to go to church. Situations like this kind of put things in perspective.”

  I look into his eyes and he beams as I reply, “I think that is a wonderful idea.”

  ***

  Eli is released from the hospital a few days later. The newspaper and TV station did a feature on him which embarrassed him to no end. While he was in the hospital the family of the shooter had contacted him and apologized. Eli quickly offered his condolences for the loss of their son and even sent them flowers.

  That gesture shook me to my core. The shooter had almost killed him, yet Eli is so selfless; so thoughtful and mindful of the parents losing their child that his heart automatically went out to them. He didn’t feel sorry for himself, or complain about the pain. He was too busy trying to make a selfless gesture.

  While he was in the hospital, I did a few sketches of him sleeping. Then, from memory, I sketched a few scenes from the shootout. It was scary re-living those seconds but therapeutic to put it on paper.

  That night, after he was released, it was decided that he would stay at Mama’s. We were sitting on the couch watching late night TV when I get up to retrieve the sketches.

  I hand him the pictures, one by one, without explanation and his face reflects admiration.

  “I had to capture those images. They were burning a hole in my brain.” I explain, sitting down next to him.

  “I’m glad you did. I look pretty bad ass in them. You should put a costume on me though!” Eli laughs out loud at his own joke, “Seriously though, thank you B. I love them. I love all your work. You’ve always been so talented.” He pulls me closer to him.

  “That was one of the scariest situations I’ve been in. It felt so surreal the entire time, you know? There was one close call overseas, where I really thought I was knocking on death’s door and this came in as a close second to that.”

  Sighing, I scoot closer to him, “I know baby. It puts things in perspective for sure.”

  “It does. My thoughts kept going to you. I prayed that if I were going to die that you wouldn’t see. I wouldn’t want that burdening you for the rest of your life, you know? I kept thinking about the day I asked you to marry me; the look on your face when you saw the rose petals. It was the happiest day of my life. It really was.”

  “Mine too babe,” I breathe deep and relax, “We are very lucky, so blessed to have both made it out of there alive.”

  Life has dealt me some pretty crazy cards, but things are starting to look up.

  ***

  Eli heard the crash of metal and the breaking of glass. His automatic reaction was to duck. He heard the driver he had just pulled over swear loudly.

  When the crunching had stopped, Eli jerked upright. He saw dim headlights against a tree across the street and heard a horn continuously blaring. The smell of burnt tire rubber was thick in the air. Immediately, he radioed for back up.

  “You get out of here, now. I don’t need you in the way of emergency vehicles,” Eli directed the pulled over driver.

  He shuddered, hoping for a miracle. It was dark, masking the true color of the flipped and twisted car. With a sick twisting of his stomach he read the bumper sticker on the bumper, "Never drive faster than your Angel can fly."

  The car was flipped and twisted around an old cement sign. The passenger side was visible but the driver’s side had completely disappeared. Eli tried to ignore the pounding in his ears. Oh God, please don't let it be her, he thought.

  He heard a soft mangled cry; a woman's cry. It was then that he knew. He rushed over and knelt down. He brought his flashlight out and shined it off to the side. There hanging upside down was Ms. Cindy. Blood was dripping from a gash on her forehead. The car horn all of a sudden turned off.

  Ms. Cindy looked over and Eli felt tears well up.

  She looked broken and so terrified, "Elijah, is that you?"

  “Yes ma’am, I’m right here. You’re going to be alright Miss Cindy,” Eli reached inside carefully and grabbed Cindy’s hand.

  “Oh boy, I know its bad honey. I don’t know what happened. But it hurts, it hurts like Hades.”

  “Miss Cindy, don’t try to talk. Just rest your voice. I’m going to try and get in here and find a way to get you out.”

  Eli crouched, careful to avoid the broken glass that littered the ground. He was able to maneuver halfway into the upside down car but the console and dash had crumpled up together to block him from getting to the other side of Miss Cindy. He didn’t know how she was alive. He exited the wrecked car and stood up.

  “Eli, please don’t leave me!” she exclaimed. He had never heard her like this. He bent down and looked in at her. He made eye contact and forced a smile.

  “Don’t worry ma’am, you’re not going to get rid of me that easy. I’m checking to make sure there’s no gas leak. This car is pretty wrecked, I won’t lie. I just want to make sure there’s no fire hazard ok?” Miss Cindy nodded.

  He quickly made an inspection of the wreck and heard in the distance an ambulance and fire truck. Hurry, hurry, hurry.

  He bent down and reached for Miss Cindy’s hand again. She took it eagerly but her grip was weak. She was losing too much blood. They had to hurry. He leaned to the side and radioed in to the station again.

  “This is Stone. We’re going to need the jaws out here on Miller Road. The cars mangled, and a survivor inside.”

  “10-4 copy that. Will dispatch jaws out there, Stone.” Eli let out a breath he didn’t realize he was holding and turned his focus on Miss Cindy.

  “Were you the only one in the car?”

  She nodded, swinging the blood flow into her eyes. She gasped and fidgeted around frightened.

  “Its okay, Miss Cindy. I’ve got some tissues in here. I’ll get it. Don’t worry. You are going to be just fine.”

  He reached in his pocket with his free hand and brought out a handkerchief. He gingerly dabbed at her face.

  “Eli, if I don't make it...” Cindy started, but Eli cut her off.

  “Now don’t be talking like that, Miss Cindy. You’re going to be just fine.”

  “Listen boy, if I don’t make it, you ne
ed to tell Bonnie you're sorry for what you did and you get things right with her,” Cindy started coughing. The smoked was getting thicker. Eli’s eyes stung. His heart skipped a beat at the mention of Bonnie’s name.

  “You were a dumb kid, but I know that you two are something special,” Miss Cindy started coughing and Eli dabbed at her face again. She looked him in the eye and awkwardly smiled.

  “Promise me Eli, you'll rectify things ok? You got to make it alright.”

  “I promise I’ll do what I can, Cindy. I miss her. I miss her a lot.”

  “I know you do, honey.” In the distance the sirens grew louder. Hurry, hurry, hurry, he silently prayed.

  “Everything is going to be fine, Miss Cindy.”

  “It will be once you stop being a dummy. Both of you.” He heard the teasing in Ms. Cindy’s voice.

  “No, no I was talking about you,” Eli laughed despite himself.

  Within the next minutes the EMTs showed up along with the fire truck. The Jaws of Life were brought out to cut the car away. Miss Cindy was nervous and Eli asked if he could stay and hold her hand.

  After what seemed like forever the EMTs had Cindy on the stretcher. Her clothes were bloodied and shredded. It looked as if she had numerous broken bones and a bad gash on her head.

  “Come with me please, son,” Miss Cindy begged.

  “Of course.”

  He looked to the EMT who nodded. He climbed in alongside the stretcher. Cindy smiled at him then closed her eyes. Her lips moved silently and Eli realized she was praying. That’s a good idea right about now, he thought. Eli kept his eyes open but silently prayed to God to keep Miss Cindy alive. And he said a word of thanks for being able to be there for Miss Cindy.

  She held out her hand and he took it.

  Oh Bonnie, I wish you were here, he thought as the ambulance started down the road.

  Chapter Ten

  Eli looks like a model wearing khaki shorts, a blue tank top and running shoes. His curls fall over his forehead. He’s come to pick me up for a date.

  “Hey good-looking, are you ready to get scared on the Ferris wheel?”

  “I don’t think I’ll be going on that ride, or many rides really. I just want to go so you can blow $20 for some little stuffed animal. And then blow $40 more for a big one.” I smile tiptoeing to kiss him.

  “I’m so hurt, B. You think I’m going to waste $60 on something I can buy at the store for $10? You must think I’m super stupid.” Eli puts his hand dramatically over his eyes and pretends to cry. I laugh a little too loudly. This is our first real outing since the shooting and it makes me so giddy to see Eli back to his old self.

  The fair is like a blast from the past. The smell of cotton candy, fried corn and turkey legs fills the air as we enter the gates of the Fair. This fair was a staple of our youth. Every year we went, riding the same rides, playing the same games. It was usually me and Eli, Tatum and one of her friends and a couple of mutual friends of ours.

  I realize how much I’ve missed the fair. This was the first time since the fall of our senior year that I’ve went.

  We were standing in line for the Ferris wheel when I heard someone call out, “Bonnie, Eli! Hey!” I turn around and see Elizabeth Snow, a girl that I knew from kindergarten, off to the side. I wave at her and she came and walks up to us. She hugs my neck enthusiastically.

  “Hey! How have you been? It’s been way too long!” Elizabeth says. She’s pushing a stroller carrying a doe eyed black-haired infant.

  “Oh goodness, is that your baby? Congratulations, she’s beautiful! And you’re right, it has been too long.”

  “Well, I’ve heard all sorts of rumors that you were with some rock band and Eli you went to the Marines...” Elizabeth falters and looks embarrassed.

  “No rumors, they were true, but we’re both back now,” I answer feeling a little awkward. This was going to take some time to get used to.

  “That’s good, I’m glad to see you together. Y’all have fun.” She hugs us both this time and walks off.

  Eli holds onto my hand, rubbing his thumb over the back of it. “When you were still gone, so many people asked about you. Asked where you were, what had happened to us. It was hard trying to explain it so many times; eventually word spread and people just quit asking. You know we depressed a lot of people by breaking up. Well I guess I depressed them since it was my fault. But still, we were voted most likely to get married. Nobody thought we would ever break up.”

  “I know, Eli. I can only imagine how weird that was. But I’m here now, with you. Letting you take me on this horrid Ferris wheel,” I shudder. My fear of heights has always been bad, but Eli loves any and all rides so I would suck it up and ride them with him, regardless if they were scary or not. He always made me feel safe anyway.

  “I’ll hold onto you, baby.” He leans down and whispers in my ear. His breath is warm and gives me goose bumps.

  “Promise?” My breathing quickens, this man doesn’t even have to touch me in order to turn me on.

  “I’ll never let you go. You know that. Or at least you should. You're stuck with me forever now.”

  “Ha-ha well you better put a ring on it mister…again,” I smile big to let him know I’m joking.

  A look of seriousness washes over his face and he says, “Maybe soon.”

  We really haven’t discussed any future things like marriage. So his answer makes my face heat up. When he grins at me, my legs turn to jelly. He is so damn gorgeous. How did I get so lucky all those years ago?

  “We’re going to have beautiful babies you know that,” I blurt out. Eli laughs and his arms wrap around me.

  “Yes ma’am, I can only dream and hope.”

  We finally get on the Ferris wheel and I concentrate on breathing slow so I won’t freak out. Eli rubs my arm up and down very rhythmically. It comforts me in a huge way. I finally open my eyes and look around. We are almost to the very top.

  “Do you remember what Tatum would say when she was younger?” I ask.

  Eli chuckles and looks down at me. “Yea, I can see the North Pole from here. Look I see Santa, I’m being for real, quit making fun of me meanie heads!” he mimics in a high pitch voice. I laugh. Tatum was always such a riot when she was younger. She was so fully engrossed in the fairytales, the magic of everything. It was enamoring.

  Needless to say, she was beyond thrilled to hear that Eli and I were back together. Our happy ever after was proof that she should still give fairy tales a chance, I guess.

  We take some fold out chairs from the trunk of Eli’s car and sit by Mama and Coach, who had met up with us earlier. A big stage for local artists to perform has been set up.

  “Oh no, the infamous camera! That thing is as old as dirt, does it still take film?” Eli asks when I bring my camera from my bag.

  “Yes, as a matter of fact, it does. I won’t go digital until I have to.” I huff in mock anger. I point the camera at him and he makes a goofy face. Mama and Coach laugh on as we make silly poses.

  Coach stands up and puts a hand out for the camera, “Here, y’all do a serious one now so your Mama can put it in her scrapbook.”

  Eli grabs my hand and pulls me onto his lap. He sits upright and brings his arms around me. My heart soars. His arms are so strong, and being so close to him still gives me butterflies.

  “I love you babe, smile pretty now,” he whispers. We both smile as the flash goes off. I stand and take the camera from Coach and take one of him and Mama. It’s nice to see Mama so happy.

  It’s almost as if Eli and I haven’t been apart. Besides Elizabeth, nobody asks about the past. They see that we’re together and that’s that. Some did ask Eli about the shooting and everyone was really gracious.

  The main act finally comes on and for a brief second I think of Mick. I think of all the concerts I went to, how boring they became. How stressful and high maintenance being back stage was. I’m glad to be on the other side of a concert for once. It was nicer here.

 
I’m sitting in Eli's lap when he nudges me and asks, "Hey do you want to move in with me?" I draw in a breath sharply and look at him.

  “Seriously?” I whisper back. He shakes his head and smiles wide.

  A huge grin breaks out, “I think that's a wonderful idea, Mr. Stone.”

  “Good I’m glad. Here, get up and follow me. I want to show you something.”

  He makes a move to get up and I stand. I hold onto his hand as Eli pulls me through the crowd. We walk up to the left of the stage and stand at the stairs. A man in a black polo sees Eli, nods, then brings a walkie-talkie up to his mouth and mutters something.

  “What’s going on, Eli?” I stop, pulling on his hand. Eli grins wide, but I see a hint of nervousness present.

  “Trust me, and don’t freak out. I’m already freaked out enough. Come on,” He pulls me up the stairs and we take the stage. My stomach flip-flops when I look out at the hundreds of faces in the audience. I feel faint, my heart jack-hammering in my chest.

  Eli takes the microphone given to him, “Hello everyone. It’s a fine day for a fair, isn’t it?” Whoops and whistles follow as a reply. Eli beams at me.

  “I’m going to make this short and sweet. Around six years ago I asked this girl to marry me when we were young and still in high school.” The band behind us starts playing music and I recognize Ed Sheeran’s “Give Me Love”. A huge lump forms in my throat.

  “Things happen, as they always do, and she was the one that got away. But now I’ve got her back and I’m never letting her go,” Eli pulls me closer, kisses my cheek and the crowd gets rowdy.

  Eli pulls away from me, letting go of my hand. He reaches into his pocket and drops down to one knee. I close my eyes as the crowd becomes deafening. The music continues to play and the tears fall.

  “Bonnie Marie Jinks, I’ve lost you once already and I don’t think I can take it a second time. I need to ask you an important question…again.”

  I am grinning like a fool. I can’t help myself. Finally, everything in my universe has come together. God is giving me a second chance at my happy ever after.