by Bethany-Kris
“What?”
“Never forget that you are you. And you are as equally as amazing as he is, but for entirely different reasons. Don’t lose what makes you amazing because you’re so caught up in what makes him amazing to you.”
Roz wanted to respond, but her phone rang with a familiar tune. One she put for Naz’s phone number. Her father didn’t miss it when he gave her a look, and then turned to leave the room.
“Don’t keep him waiting,” her father murmured. “How else can you practice later if you don’t get him out of your system today, hmm?”
Well, then …
TWELVE
Naz tugged his beanie down over his head as his mother followed him down the hallway. “Nah, just put a plate in the fridge, Ma, in a container. I’ll grab it before I head out. Promise.”
Catherine sighed. “I can’t believe you’re not staying long enough to have supper, Naz. You’re heading out tomorrow, right? I know your run is coming up. You always spend an evening with us before heading out for that.”
His mother wasn’t wrong. It was something his father had gotten him in to the habit of doing. Before each and every gun run he made, Naz spent the evening with his family. Like a reminder, his dad would say. This is where you need to come back to, Naz. This is where you’re wanted and needed. So, you remind yourself why you need to get this done, and get back safely.
So, he’d come.
But he also had someone else to go see, too.
“But—”
“Catty,” came a dark murmur from down the hallway.
Naz glanced over his shoulder to find his father leaning lazily in the doorway between the hallway and the living room. Cross had said nothing about Naz leaving early because it looked like he expected it.
His mother, on the other hand …
“Let him go,” Cross said. “He’s got business across the woods, I imagine.”
Catherine glanced between her husband, and her son for a moment before her posture softened. “Oh. Why didn’t you just say that?”
Naz shrugged, but said nothing.
Because it wasn’t anyone’s business, he supposed. This thing between him and Roz was still all-consuming, and a little too crazy. He hadn’t even figured it out yet. He was not willing to share it, either. Not even with his mother. Not right now.
Catherine would understand eventually.
“Say hello for us,” his mother whispered, patting his cheek with a soft touch. “And do not forget your food before you go.”
Naz laughed, and leaned in to kiss his mother’s waiting cheek. “How can I forget your cooking, Ma?”
She gave him that look. All mother’s had it.
He just laughed again.
With a wave, Naz was free to leave without more questions, apparently. Why his mother didn’t just realize where he was going as he’d headed for the back of the house, and not the front, Naz didn’t know.
He tightened the neck on his leather jacket, and slipped out into the evening light. It wasn’t entirely dark out, since the moon was up on one side while the sun was still peeking out a bit on the other side. Just enough light to make the trip on foot through the woods a bit safer.
Naz could have pushed the gun run back a couple of days, but that meant doing a run to Mexico and crossing the border with the guns on a weekday instead of the following weekend. That always made shit a little more complicated, and dangerous, really. Every run he made was carefully planned, and executed according to schedule to minimize the risk of a smuggle going bad.
That was his father’s first and last lesson when Naz decided he was going to follow Cross’s footsteps into gunrunning.
One of many lessons, really.
But … he’d been trained by the best which may not have made Naz the very best there was, but he was terribly fucking close to it. There wasn’t another gunrunner on the continent that could challenge Naz’s success rates. Except maybe his father, and frankly, Naz was getting close to passing that record, too.
Not that Cross liked it pointed out.
Everybody had their pride.
Despite how badly Naz had wanted to push the run back a couple of days so that he could spend more time with Roz—the run was going to keep him away for a week, likely, with no contact to anyone outside of his partner and the buyer—he figured it was just best to get it the hell over with.
He could pick up with Roz once he got back. She’d understand, even if he didn’t plan on telling her running guns was what he would be doing for the next week instead of being here with her.
That was a conversation for another day.
Not tonight.
Slipping into the trails, Naz navigated the terrain easily. Like it was the back of his hand he was recalling, and not a dirt path. He could walk these trails with his eyes closed, likely. He knew them that well, and felt that comfortable with them.
He was halfway through the trail when he caught sight of her coming down the path from the other direction. Naz’s grin split his face instantly. Roz was still looking down at her feet, so she hadn’t even noticed him at all yet. Likely making sure she didn’t trip over something knowing her.
Those hands of hers …
Those damn hands.
So precious.
Soft.
Delicate.
Full of talent, spirit, and his.
She was entirely his.
He’d decided.
“Sometimes, you need to watch for what’s coming down the path, too, Roz,” Naz said, smirking, “or someone might sneak up on you like this.”
Roz’s head snapped up, and she came to a full stop only inches from where Naz was standing with that shit-eating smirk. She blinked, smiled widely, and then launched herself at him. Naz caught her around the waist with a laugh of his own, before picking her right up from the ground like she weighed nothing at all.
Her legs wrapped around his waist, and that thin, flimsy dress she wore did nothing to hide the soft warmth of her center pressing against his stomach. It was fucking impossible for him to ignore the way it felt, never mind how it had his cock perking up in an instant. Like the bastard was revving and ready to go. His dick just wanted to say hello, and get acquainted with the parts of Roz that he’d been holding back from because this … and that, would always be on her time.
When she wanted.
No matter what.
“I said I would come over to your place,” he murmured, reaching up to stroke her cheek with two fingers. He took the moment of her silence to enjoy the sight the of her joy coloring her cheeks, and making her eyes glitter. Nothing was more beautiful than this woman. He was sure of it. Life, and beauty, and grace right there in his arms. He was holding it—her. Nothing could make him let go. He was sure of it. “What, did you get tired of waiting?”
Roz let out a breathless laugh as her legs tightened around his waist, and she dropped a sweet kiss to his mouth. “Nope. Just wanted to surprise you.”
Naz tucked a strand of her loose hair behind her ear. “That so?”
“Yep.”
“Missed you, my girl.”
“You just saw me yesterday.”
So?
Was that supposed to make a difference because Naz didn’t think so. He couldn’t control the way he fucking felt all the time when it came to this woman. Even a second away from her was one second too many, as far as he was concerned.
He wasn’t going to apologize for it, either.
“Besides,” he said, “I think you like it when I miss you.”
Winking, he spun them around so that her back was resting against the smooth trunk of a tree. Leaning in, he kissed a path across her smiling cheekbone, and then down to her lips. Over her chin, and jaw. Finally, down her throat. Soft, slow kisses that allowed him to feel the way she shivered, and drew in quick, short breaths.
God, yeah.
He liked that.
Slowly, Naz came back to her mouth before lingering there a little longer with his next kiss. So then, h
e could taste her. Feel the heat of her mouth, and enjoy the way their kiss had somehow become a familiar dance for him.
Roz grew silent, and her gaze locked on his. Her soft fingertips came up to stroke overtop the dusting of facial hair covering his jaw and cheeks. There was something in her eyes—something he knew because it reflected back in his. He wore that same look from the moment he laid eyes on her, and really saw her.
Still, he stayed quiet.
Unmovable.
This was all on her.
“I think I more than like it, actually,” Roz whispered.
“Oh?”
“Love it, maybe.”
Naz quirked a brow high. “Is that what this is—love?”
“Isn’t that a little crazy, Naz?”
“What, to be in love?”
“Maybe.”
“I’d rather be crazy than normal, Roz,” Naz returned. “And you’re far from normal, aren’t you?”
“Like you, too.”
“Mmm. Better we’re crazy together. It’s more fun this way.”
She swallowed audibly, and then her tongue peeked out to swipe across her bottom lip. Naz couldn’t help himself but to trace the same path her tongue had taken with the pad of his thumb. That gaze of hers—still locked on him and waiting, now—darkened, and he felt her bottom lip tremble under his touch.
He drew his hand away, but her voice stopped him. Airless, and aching. That’s how she sounded to him.
“Don’t stop now,” Roz said softly.
“Roz—”
Her legs tightened around him in that way again. The way that made her lower half press firmly against him. There was no hiding the hard ridge of his cock rubbing against the soft junction between her thighs, either.
“Fuck,” Naz mumbled. “Don’t start that out here.”
“Why not?”
“Because I’m not fucking you against a tree.” Naz’s smirk came back in an instant. “At least, not for your first time.”
Her cheeks pinked, and her lips popped open.
“That’s not how this should be,” he added quieter, drawing closer to the sweetness that was her mouth. “That’s never how your first time should be, Roz.”
“Shouldn’t it be how I want it to be?”
Naz chuckled. “No, what you want right now is to soothe the fucking ache, babe. You want to feel better. It’s called relief and release. That’s what you want. You think that’s sex, but it can be a lot of things.”
“I know what release is, Nazio.”
His grin deepened. “Oh, do you now?”
That pink color climbed down her throat. It only made Naz’s cock harder, really. “Well—”
He leaned closer until their noses touched, she couldn’t see anything but him, and his lips grazed hers as he said, “because you touch yourself, don’t you? You get yourself off, Roz. Is that how you know?”
She sucked in a sharp breath.
Naz wasn’t about to let her be shy now. Not two minutes ago, she had been more than willing to try and fuck him in the woods. She had it in her—she just needed a little help to bring the wild out.
Naz was damn good at being wild.
“Tell me,” he murmured. “What do you think about when you’re touching yourself, hmm? Go on, tell me.”
Roz blinked. “You.”
“Me.”
“You,” she echoed. “I think about you, and it makes me shake.”
Hell yeah, that’s what he wanted to hear.
His lips crashed against hers hard. There was nothing nice or soft or easy about the kiss. Gone was the way he wanted to taste and enjoy the moment. How could he give a shit about that when her fingernails were digging into his jaw as she pulled him impossibly closer, and kissed him back like it was the breath she needed in her lungs to live.
It was addictive.
Amazing.
So fucking crazy.
His hands had a mind of their own. Skimming under the skirt of her dress to push the flimsy fabric higher around her thighs, so his fingers could inch closer to heaven. Roz’s teeth nipped into his lower lip before she pulled that beanie from his head to get her hands wrapped up in his hair.
His fingertips found her warm and damp overtop her cotton panties. Unashamed and fucking perfect, she ground against the feeling of his hand stroking her where she wanted him the most.
Where had that shyness gone now?
Naz was glad it left.
Her hand came down to meet with his before slipping beneath her panties. The wet heat of her sex met his fingertips. Slick, and so fucking sleek. The soft, trimmed hair grazed his palm as she pressed her body harder against his hand.
“More,” Roz demanded.
Christ.
He couldn’t possibly deny her when she sounded like that. His fingers found her sweetest spot—tight, warm and wet. And he felt her own hand circle and press and stroke. Until she was shaking, mumbling his name, and looking sweeter than ever.
Roz really did make the best kind of music.
THIRTEEN
The blank screen of Roz’s phone was taunting her. She was sure of it. The longer she stared at it and willed it to light up with a call or message, the more it seemed determined to do absolutely nothing for her.
Three days.
Three long days.
That’s how long it had been since Roz received even a simple text message from Naz. Every call she made to him went to voicemail, and every text went unanswered. She was trying really hard not to be pissed off, but it was fucking hard.
You know, considering the last time they’d spoken was when he lowered her to the ground after having his hands shoved down her freaking panties. That wasn’t really the best time to skip out on somebody, and if that’s what he was doing, then Naz was a jerk.
To say the least.
Glaring at the phone again, Roz tossed it to the table, huffed, and crossed her arms over her chest. Wasn’t it bad enough that just the fact he hadn’t answered her texts and calls put her on edge in a whole new way? Before, she couldn’t concentrate on her music because Naz was around. Now, she couldn’t fucking concentrate on anything because she was wondering why he wasn’t around.
This was not what Roz wanted.
At all.
Nobody ever said love was like a goddamn disease. Like an infection ravaging someone’s entire soul and heart until there was nothing left to keep for yourself. But that’s exactly what it was like, and Roz wasn’t sure if she was made out for this.
Slowly, like an urge she couldn’t control, her gaze slid back in the direction of the discarded phone. Before she could stop herself, Roz reached out and snatched it up from the table once more just so she could check again.
Even though she knew it was still blank.
Nothing was there.
She knew, and she still had to check.
Yep.
Just like a disease.
He made her lovesick, and now she was dying.
Unlocking the screen, Roz brought up the texts, and sent one more to Naz just because she could. It wasn’t all anger that she was feeling. There was a hell of a lot of worry mixed in, too. It wasn’t like him to go off the grid like this.
Sure, he’d said he would be busy with work for a while, but what exactly did that mean? He’d told her that before, and usually, he called her back by the end of the night, or better yet, showed up at her house with that grin she liked far too much.
Not this time, though.
It just felt … off.
Roz typed out a quick text, and sent the message off. What the hell, Naz? Where are you?
She wasn’t the type of girl that blew up a guy’s phone. Frankly, she never found a guy she gave a shit about enough to do that, anyway. Naz apparently wasn’t the same, and while she was sure she would regret all these texts and messages later … well, right now she was just worried and pissed and wondering.
“You okay over there?”
Roz’s head snapped up,
and she found her mother leaning against the kitchen island while she nursed a cup of coffee. “Yeah, fine, Ma.”
Katya nodded. “Mmhmm. How long do you think I was standing here?”
God, please don’t say more than a couple of seconds.
“I don’t know,” Roz hedged.
“Five minutes,” her mom murmured.
Well, fuck her whole life.
“He’s not calling you back, or what?” Katya asked.
Roz sighed. “It doesn’t—”
“It does matter, or you would leave your phone alone, yes?” Kayta raised her eyebrows as if to dare her daughter to deny it. Roz chose to stay silent. That was her best defense when words wouldn’t work. And very rarely did words work when it came to her mother. Katya never fell for that kind of thing. “Maybe he’s just … busy? He is a very active young man, Rosalynn. I’m sure he’s not out doing something you—”
“I don’t think he’s with someone else, if that’s what you’re trying to say,” Roz was quick to interject. “I just don’t know where he is, or why he won’t answer my calls.”
Her mother nodded. “Hmm, did you ask your brother?”
“Called him this morning.”
“And?”
“And he said Naz was working. That was it. Working.”
Which told Roz nothing, and left her with more questions than answers. Actually, that was when the anger started to bleed away, and her concern really picked up. If it was just work, then her brother should have been able to give her more information, right? Why couldn’t Naz find five freaking seconds to call her back?
None of this made sense.
Katya sighed quietly. “You’re sure Luca said Naz was working?”
“I’m not deaf, Ma.” Her mother gave her that look, and Roz was quick to check her attitude. “Sorry.”
Katya pressed her lips together, and then hummed under her breath. Setting the cup aside on the counter, she pointed a finger at Roz and then said, “Give me a few minutes. Maybe I can help. But keep that bad mood for him, yeah? Not your mother, dushka.”
Roz smirked. “Got it, Ma.”
She didn’t know how exactly her mother planned to help, but it didn’t matter. Roz was distracted by staring at her phone again, and wondering. Love really was like a fucking sickness she couldn’t shake.