by Bethany-Kris
Maybe because it was a first love.
Her first love.
Was it supposed to feel like this?
All crazy and heavy and fragile.
Like if she breathed the wrong way, she was going to fall apart at the seams?
God.
“Get your jacket on, and let’s go,” came a new voice from the kitchen doorway.
Roz found her father standing there with a set of car keys hanging from his fingertips. Zeke flashed a smile, but Roz stayed put.
“What, why?”
“We’re going to go visit someone,” her father said. “And I didn’t ask for questions. I told you to do something. Get to it.”
Roz gave her father a side eye, but despite his words, his tone was joking in nature. Zeke flashed another smile, and twirled the keys around his finger. Another silent demand for her to hurry up, and get moving.
She got her ass up from the table, and moved.
“I thought you said we were going to visit someone,” Roz said, glancing over at her dad.
Zeke shrugged, and cut the engine on the car. “We are. Cross and Catherine.”
Roz’s gaze narrowed. “But why?”
“Because they’re my friends, and your godparents.”
“And because Ma told you to take me out of the house and do something with me?”
Probably her mother’s way of thinking she could get Roz’s mind off Naz. That was highly unlikely given this was his parents’ home and all.
“No, that wasn’t what she said at all. I promise you that, Roz.”
Zeke didn’t offer anything more before he got out of the car, and slammed the door. Bending down, he looked in and pointed at her door as if to silently say, Let’s go.
She got out of the car, and raced after her father to catch up with him. He didn’t even bother to ring the doorbell before he opened the door, and walked right into the large Donati home. Echoing laughter came from down the hall before Catherine darted between the living room, into the hallway, and then disappeared into the kitchen. Her husband was fast on her heels.
“Get back here, Catty!”
“No way. I am keeping that picture forever.”
“Jesus Christ, woman—”
“Save the foreplay for when the guests are gone, yeah?” Zeke shouted.
Cross was the first one to come back out from the kitchen by poking his head into the hallway first. The dark-eyed man narrowed his gaze on Roz’s father. “Don’t you know how to fucking knock, or what?”
“You don’t knock at my house.”
“That’s fair,” Cross murmured with a shrug. Then, his gaze drifted to Roz. “And you brought Roz along. Did I forget something, or—”
“Someone is missing someone else, actually,” her father said vaguely.
Cross’s brow shot up as his gaze turned on her again. Roz felt the way her cheeks heated up, but she settled for glaring at her father. Zeke acted like nothing was wrong.
“Figured she could use some company, and then maybe she’ll, you know, get out of her mood,” Zeke said.
“Stop it,” Roz muttered under her breath.
Cross chuckled. “Roz, Catherine is in the kitchen finishing up some tarts, if you want one.”
Roz’s face was as red as a goddamn tomato. She was sure of it. Nonetheless, she was still grateful for the chance to escape the situation, so she nodded, and mumbled a quick thanks before darting ahead of her father.
Once she was in the kitchen, that didn’t stop the voices from filtering in from the hallway even as they tried to keep quiet. Catherine shot Roz a sly grin that said she knew the girl was spying but didn’t give a single shit either way. The woman was good like that.
“I take it he didn’t tell her,” Zeke said. “Don’t you think maybe he should have?”
“It’s Naz’s business when and how he wants to deal with his business but especially when it comes to Rosalynn, Zeke. Let him tell her why he goes off like this on his own time, and when he’s ready to.”
“That’s shitty for her, then. She’s stuck wondering. And where did my fucking daughter go, huh? I swear the only goddamn thing she thinks about now is your son.”
Cross grunted under his breath. “Say that like it’s a bad thing one more time, man. Do it.”
“Jesus.” Her father sighed. “It’s not a bad thing, Cross. It’s Nazio. It’s not bad. I don’t … mean that it’s bad.”
“I know what you mean.”
“Then act like it,” Zeke countered.
“Let them figure this out on their own. This fucking … love thing. Them. Let them figure it out on their own time and way. Including Nazio, and business.”
“Fine.”
“You’re such a prick.”
“I’m allowed to be right now,” Zeke snapped. “This was Cece once, all right. Don’t act like you were any better, Cross.”
“Yeah. Fair enough.”
“Move away from the door,” Catherine murmured quickly, “before they catch you there, Roz.”
She did, and took a tart from Catherine’s outstretched hand in just enough time to make the two men think she hadn’t been listening to their conversation at all. Catherine didn’t say a word differently, either.
Roz was still left with questions.
Way too many questions.
FOURTEEN
Naz tugged the beanie down over his ears as he hung the helmet to his bike up on the steering wheel. “Didn’t know you were going to be over this way today, Luca.”
His best friend tipped his chin up from where he stood on the steps of his parents’ home leaning against the railing. Dragging a hard inhale from the smoke, Luca eyed Naz in a way that set him on edge. Although, he wasn’t really sure why it put him on edge. It just fucking did.
Naz stepped off the bike, and cocked a brow. “Something wrong?”
“You tell me, man.”
Naz stiffened.
Yeah, definitely something wrong.
Luca took another drag from his cigarette and watched the cherry red tip flicker and then explode across the asphalt of the driveway when he flicked it from his fingertips. “Didn’t know you were coming this way tonight, either.”
“I called you this morning—told you I caught a flight instead of driving back. What the fuck is wrong with you? Speak up if you’ve got something to say, but I’ve got better things to do than deal with your shitty mood that I don’t even understand.”
Sure, Luca was his best friend, but that didn’t mean Naz was going to take any kind of shit from the man because he wouldn’t. He never had. Oh, they had gone through their rounds over the years. Nothing too serious, though. A couple of busted mouths, and black eyes. Stupid teenage shit that pitted the two friends against each other for whatever reason, and sent their fists flying.
They worked it out.
They always did.
Luca chuckled as he nodded, and stepped down from the stairs. Stuffing his hands in his pockets, the younger man glanced up at the sky. It wasn’t nightfall yet, but they were in twilight. That time of day when the sun wasn’t quite peeking over the horizon, but it was still light enough to be comfortable and nice.
Naz’s favorite time of the day.
And right then, he really just wanted to spend it with Rosalynn. He’d been gone all fucking week with no phone on him except a burner he couldn’t use to call anyone but his partner, the buyer, and his father if something went wrong. That was the rule for gunrunning. The less communication on a run, the better. And if one of them did happen to get caught while on the run, the phone that was confiscated could only lead back to one or two people. Nothing that would do very much at the end of the day.
It was all quite purposeful.
Usually, he’d come home from a week-long run and go straight to his mother and father’s. That way, he could fill Cross in on any details his father needed to know, have dinner with his parents, and get back to work as usual the next day as a man trying to get his button for
Cosa Nostra.
That was Naz’s whole life in a nutshell.
Not lately, though.
Lately, it was all about Roz.
The fucking guns just got in the way for a bit.
But not now because Naz was back, and he didn’t have a gun run for another few months, at least. There would be nothing—other than the usual day to day work shit—keeping him away from Roz.
Naz moved forward, taking his steps carefully even as Luca came toward him, too. The two friends met in the middle of the driveway. Luca still looked like he was some kind of pissed off, and ready to rip Naz’s throat apart with his bare hands.
It was the why Naz didn’t get.
“Seriously, just spit it the fuck out,” Naz told his friend. “Is it Roz? Because I’m messing with her, or …?”
Luca let out a bitter laugh. “Yes, and no.”
“That makes no fucking—”
“You didn’t even tell her where you were going, Naz,” Luca snapped, his blue eyes turning on his friend with a fire blazing behind them. “You just fucking took off on her without even a goddamn note.”
“Hey, I said I had business to do.”
Luca scoffed. “Business. Do you know what that shit means to my sister? It means going into the city for a couple of days like Dad does, Naz. She’s not fucking stupid—she knows what he is, and what your father is. She probably knows what you are. She doesn’t know the finer details, though.”
“She also hasn’t asked, Luca.”
“So, then you fucking tell her anyway.” Luca shrugged. “What you don’t do is spend day after day with her, and then drop off her radar like it’s nothing. That fucks with her head, even if you don’t mean for it to. And you know what, if you fuck with my sister’s head again, I’ll fucking beat your ass. Got it?”
Naz blinked, his hackles clanging. That cocky part of him that didn’t know how to let a threat go unanswered thought to rise right to the fucking occasion, even if it was his friend who threatened him … and even if Luca was kind of justified at the moment.
“Excuse me?” Naz asked, moving closer to his friend again.
Luca moved forward, too. “You heard what I said, Naz.”
The two men were so close that if Naz or Luca leaned in, their fucking foreheads would touch. He had a crystal clear view of the anger and challenge in Luca’s gaze. There was no doubt his friend wasn’t fucking around today.
The fucking arrogant idiot Naz was meant he didn’t see those things as warnings he should heed, but rather, something he wanted to face head on. See just how far he could push Luca because why the hell not?
“My business,” Naz drawled out slowly, “isn’t any of your fucking business. Do you got that?”
“My sister—”
“Stay the fuck out of my business, Luca.”
Luca’s gaze flashed, and Naz didn’t even see that fucking fist coming from his friend until it was too late. He wouldn’t call it a cheap shot, necessarily. He’d pushed his friend’s line, and Luca decided to answer that call with his own actions.
Fair was fucking fair, after all.
Naz always said so.
Nonetheless, that punch landed hard against Naz’s jaw, and sent his head spinning to the side. He might have felt a tooth or two come loose, too, but it was hard to say. He was a little distracted by the pain stinging through the side of his face, and the blood blooming across his tongue.
Fuck.
Naz laughed, and shook his head as he spat the blood to the ground and righted himself. Luca had moved back a step, and had his hands resting down by his side. Other than the clenching of the fist that he’d hit Naz with, and the reddening of his knuckles, one wouldn’t be able to tell that the man had hit him at all. All Luca’s anger was gone, and he seemed done with the entire show.
Nodding, Naz murmured, “You put some fucking weight behind that one.”
Luca shrugged. “It’ll only hurt for a while, asshole.”
“Yeah, I bet.”
Naz ran his tongue along his inner cheek to rid the rest of the blood, and eyed his friend all the while. “I know it’s your fucking sister, but you know I’m not here to mess around with her in that kind of way, either. It’s not like that, so back off.”
“Then, don’t make her feel like that and this won’t have to happen again. Are we clear, or what?”
Yeah, he got it.
“My bad,” Naz murmured.
Luca cleared his throat, and stuffed his hands in his pockets as he inched forward to come closer to Naz once more. “And I guess, I’m sorry about the whole hitting you thing even if you did deserve it for acting like a prick. Because you are.”
“Someone’s gotta keep me in line.”
His friend laughed, still coming closer. “Right?”
Pulling one hand out of his pocket, Luca moved to offer it to Naz to shake. Their way of saying let bygones be bygones about the whole thing. It was their thing. It happened, and now it was fucking over.
Naz shook his friend’s hand.
“If you’re all quite done measuring dicks out here,” came the sweetest voice Naz had ever heard in his life, “then I would like a second.”
Naz grinned over Luca’s shoulder, even as his friend sighed and rolled his eyes. “Hey, you.”
Roz smiled even if it was faint. “Hey.”
Luca clapped Naz on the shoulder, and moved toward his waiting Camaro. “Tomorrow for work, then?”
“Tomorrow, man. Same as usual.”
“Let’s hope you don’t bruise.”
“Fuck you.”
Luca only laughed before slapping Naz on the cheek, and going on his way. Naz waited until his friend had pulled out of the drive, and was gone down the street before he turned back to face Roz again. She was still standing on the porch, and had her arms folded over her chest.
Now, this was where it became fucking funny.
Why?
Because he hadn’t been the slightest bit afraid of his friend’s anger when he first showed up, but he was fucking terrified of the way Roz looked in that moment.
Disappointed, and confused.
“I should have explained more before I took off,” he said quietly, moving toward her. She said nothing, and as he came to the bottom steps, Naz added, “Gave you a clearer picture of where I was going to be, and why I couldn’t call. I’m sorry I left you hanging all week.”
Roz chewed on her inner cheek before asking, “Are you going to explain now?”
“Do you want me to?”
Because if she did, then he would.
It was that simple.
Roz nodded. “I think I do. I know you’re … I know you do family business, Naz. I know that, okay. You don’t have to keep me in the dark.”
Naz smirked, and climbed the stairs until he was standing right in front of this beautiful, crazy girl who just because he could, he loved inexplicably. It was strange and scary and entirely wonderful.
“It’s more than family business, Roz,” he said quietly.
She looked up at him, although she didn’t have to stare very far to meet his gaze. “Oh?”
“Way more.”
“And sometimes that means you drop off the radar for a while, I take it.”
“Safety reasons,” he said, chuckling “Call it good fucking policy, yeah?”
“And how often—”
“Few times a year.”
Roz glanced away. “For what?”
“Guns. People buy them. I run them to the buyer.”
He didn’t miss the stiffening of her shoulders, or the way a knot formed between her brows like she was trying to figure that out.
“So, what does all that mean, Naz?”
“I guess that I’m far more than just a genius, Roz.”
A bad man who did bad things.
Sinful.
Criminal.
And yet, he was none of those things when he was with her.
Not at all.
“Sorry if
that’s all you were looking for with me,” he added after a moment.
Roz’s gaze turned back on him in a blink.
All fire.
Life.
And love.
“I was looking for you,” she whispered. “I’m looking at you.”
Naz closed that distance between them in a heartbeat, and crashed his lips down on hers in a bruising kiss.
It’d been too long, anyway.
A week without kissing this woman was way too long.
FIFTEEN
Roz could feel his gaze on her. From where in the room, she didn’t know. It was hard to tell when it seemed like her parents had invited every person they knew to Luca’s birthday party. Oh, she loved her parents for the fact they always celebrated their children’s birthdays even now that Luca and Roz were probably beyond the age of all that.
Still, she wondered where Naz was.
She could feel his gaze on only her. It was the way her skin hummed with the strangest buzzing sensation. Like all the fine hairs lifted from the back of her neck, and her breaths came out a little shorter than normal. She loved that feeling, and yet … she still wished she could watch him, too.
She couldn’t see him, though.
Her gaze scanned the crowd even as her hands continued moving over familiar keys on the piano. She didn’t need to actually look down to know what she was doing when it came to the piano. Especially not if it was a composition she was very familiar with and had been playing for years.
She wasn’t actually supposed to play the piano tonight for the guests, anyway, but someone thought it would be a great idea. Roz got roped into it because she didn’t like telling people no, and her parents loved showing off her hard work.
Some things never changed …
Roz didn’t break stride or form as she looked for Naz in the crowd. Her smile was still firmly in place as her gaze drifted over the faces of familiar people. Back straight, shoulders loose but firm, and arms at the correct position for her hands to do all the work. She was sure everyone just thought she was smiling for them, but really, she wanted to find him.