by Bethany-Kris
He’d been back for a few days—things went back to normal. Just like he said. Like he hadn’t been gone at all.
If anything, that only made Roz edgier. For reasons she wasn’t even sure of, to be honest. Like she might blink, and he’d be gone again.
Even if he promised that wasn’t the case.
That fear hung on.
Soon enough, Roz had finished the piece on the piano and was standing from the bench before the clapping had even started. The guests did clap, though. The noise was thunderous. She heard the congratulations and praise, and took them all with a smile. Even the arms reaching to hug her, and pat her cheeks as people told her how much she had grown up since the last time they saw her.
People kept saying that.
She didn’t see it like they did.
Moving through the last few people while accepting their hugs, too, Roz finally spotted Naz. Finally.
She was entirely unsurprised to find he had tucked himself into the far corner of the room where he couldn’t be bothered. She found he didn’t like that very much. Hated when people interrupted him while he was watching her.
He looked like a woman’s walking wet dream standing there in a three-piece suit, his hair pulled back like he’d been dragging his fingers through the strands, and a glass of whiskey in his hands. Easy posture, lazy smile, and eyes only on her. He looked like he didn’t have a fuck to give in the world because he had everything he wanted standing just a few feet away from him right then.
Naz grinned, and winked.
Roz smiled back.
Soon enough, she was going to hide that grin of his when her lips found his. She swore … would put her hand on a fucking bible to say it … that her music was made better when this man was watching her. Something about him being there made her hyperaware, and the music just sounded better.
It didn’t have to be reasonable.
It just was.
“That was beautiful, Roz.”
Katya slipped in beside her daughter, and took her attention away from Naz for a moment. As much as it sucked, she supposed she could wait another few seconds before she could get back to where she wanted to be.
Tucked right into his side.
With him.
“Thanks, Ma,” Roz said.
Her mother looked at someone over Roz’s shoulder before her gaze came back to her daughter. “When you’re playing sounds like that, it makes me wonder why you’re still considering backing out of that audition.”
Roz sucked in a sharp breath.
Here?
Really?
Her mother wanted to bring that up right now? It was not the right time at all. It was not another argument Roz wanted to have, either. She’d been arguing with her parents about this all damn week.
Couldn’t they let it rest?
Wasn’t it bad enough that they had gone behind her back to tell her mentor what she was considering without letting her have enough time to figure it out on her own?
Apparently, no.
That had not been a fun conversation.
“We talked about this,” Roz reminded her mother.
Katya nodded. “And I still think you’re making a mistake. It’s not that you’re not ready, Rosalynn. It’s that your mind is elsewhere.”
“So?”
Her mother blinked. “I beg your pardon?”
“So,” Roz snapped again, although she kept her voice at a reasonable level so that they didn’t draw attention from the guests. There was no need to go ruining her brother’s birthday party, even if he hadn’t asked for this party. “So what if that’s what it is, Ma. So what if I’m distracted, and now is not the right time?”
“Because spots in that company only come up once in a decade, and if you’re very lucky, you might get two chances in a decade. That’s why.”
Nothing Katya said was a lie.
Roz just didn’t need the fucking reminder.
“I don’t feel ready,” Roz told her mother. “And there’s nothing I can do about that except hold off on the audition. I would rather hold off than go when I’m not ready, Ma.”
Katya sipped from the wine in her hand, and sighed. “Your father thinks maybe you should go back to—”
“No.”
“And what if you don’t go to the audition, then what?”
“I don’t understand.”
“What do you plan to do? You’ll get your official diploma next week, and have the ceremony next month. If you even choose to go to that, mind you. But what about after? What are your plans?”
Roz’s shoulders stiffened at the tone of her mother’s voice. “Maybe I’ll stay in New York. Would that be such a bad thing?”
“It might be,” her mother replied, “if there’s only one reason you’re doing that for.”
“You mean to say one person, Ma.”
“You’re seventeen.”
“Eighteen next month,” she shot back fast.
Katya smiled. “That doesn’t negate the fact that you’re still young, dushka. Young, and prone to making rash decisions. I don’t want you to give up on your dreams. And if you asked that one person, I bet he would say the same thing. Wouldn’t he? If he cared, and he means to you what you think he does … wouldn’t he say the same thing, Rosalynn? Have you even asked?”
Roz found Naz was still staring at her when she glanced to the side. He grinned in that way of his again. The way that had her heart pounding, and her stomach doing the strangest flip-flops. All he had to do was fucking stare at her, and her whole world suddenly felt like it had flipped on its axis, and nothing was ever going to be the same again.
That was the thing.
She was here now.
He was hers.
Nothing could be the same.
She didn’t want it to be, either.
Katya sighed, and drew Roz’s attention back to her mother. “I see.”
“What?”
“You haven’t asked him, have you? I bet you haven’t mentioned to him at all that you’re considering scrapping the audition, and instead of continuing your career, you plan to stay here in New York. Because this is where he is. You haven’t told him any of those things at all.”
No, she hadn’t.
Because what did it matter?
“It’s still my choice, Ma,” Roz said.
“It is,” her mother agreed, “but what if it’s the wrong choice?”
“That’s for me to figure out, too.”
Katya smiled softly. “It is, you’re right. I still think you should ask him, though, and explain. He might surprise you. You know …”
“What?”
She tried to keep the irritation out of her tone, but it was impossible. Her mother acted like Roz was cool, calm, and relaxed. That was Katya—she could handle anything. Roz wished she could say the same.
“You’re allowed to be in love, and still have your own dreams, Roz. All those dreams don’t have to only be for him.”
Was that how it worked?
Right now, it certainly didn’t feel like it.
Before Roz could respond to her mother, someone dragged Katya away to talk to someone else. Roz didn’t even get the chance to slip through the last bit of the crowd in the room to get back to Naz. Someone dragged her away, too.
Someone else to tell her just how much she’d grown up.
They had no fucking idea.
SIXTEEN
Naz, at best, was an impatient fucker. It could be considered his greatest flaw if he cared to think about his few flaws. Except he didn’t … and he was more than willing to embrace all his impatientness when it came right down to it.
Throwing back the last bit of whiskey—he’d let himself have one glass for this party just in case Roz wanted to get the hell out of there later and he had to drive—he peered over the crowd again to see if he could find his girl. He swore every time he laid eyes on her, someone else was coming around to take her away.
He hadn’t gotten five minutes of conversation with
her the whole night. It was driving him nuts.
A hand clapped his shoulder hard on the left side, and Naz relaxed a bit at the sound of his father’s quiet chuckles. “What are you doing over here in the corner, Naz?”
“Maybe I’m letting Luca have his spotlight.”
Cross arched a brow like he was considering that statement. “I might believe that, if you actually thought you might take it away. You wouldn’t—you’re not the type. Try again.”
His gaze swept the crowd again. “Did you see where Roz went?”
“Ah.”
He would not look over at his father. He would not.
Except he did.
Cross was wearing a shit-eating smirk again. Goddammit. “Everyone taking up her attention and time, and I bet you’re a sad little puppy over here.”
Just the tone of his father’s voice was enough to make Naz bristle. “I swear, if you try to pet my head like—”
His father slapped his cheek twice instead. “Nope, just going to enjoy pestering the fuck out of you, son. No one else dares to.”
That was mostly true.
Luca did, sometimes.
“You know, back when I was your age and this was me and Catherine … I used to just sneak her out the first chance I could. We’d take off, and it’d be hours later before someone realized we were even gone. Good times.”
Usually, when his father talked about things like that regarding his mother, Naz tuned him out. He didn’t need to know those things of things. But that was actually kind of helpful, and he was going to pull a Cross as his mother liked to say.
He was his father’s twin, after all.
Or that’s what everyone told him his whole fucking life.
Naz’s lips split with a sly smile. “That sounds like a great idea.”
“Hey, I didn’t—”
“Thanks, Papa.”
He heard his father’s sigh echo behind him as he turned his back to his father, and headed into the crowd. If he couldn’t find Roz, then she could come and find him. And once she did, they’d be gone.
Perfect, really.
“There you are,” Roz said as she slipped out the front door of her parents’ home. Her wide smile made Naz grin, too. “I’ve been looking for you.”
“I bet.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
Naz chuckled, and shook his head. “Means nothing. I just figured instead of waiting for you to find me in there, it might be better if you found me out here.”
Roz eyed him curiously as she came down the steps. The chill in the air wasn’t too bad, but it was enough that he could see a slight shiver crawling over her exposed shoulders under the dress she wore. Once she was close enough for him to reach out and grab her, Naz did just that.
Her laughter colored up the driveway—filled to the brim with cars from guests—as Naz dragged her into his warm chest. He used his jacket to wrap around her as she tucked her arms in close to his body. Resting her chin on his pec, she peered up at him with a brilliant smile curving her sweet lips.
“Better?” he asked.
“Is what better?”
“You were cold.”
Roz’s gaze softened. “Yeah, it’s better, Naz.”
“Good.”
He tightened his hold around her, refusing to let go. Now that he had her outside of that house, there was no way he was letting her go back in so someone else could steal her away from him again.
Nope.
Wasn’t happening.
“Do you wanna get out of here?” he asked.
Roz laughed. “Oh, my God.”
“What?”
“More than you know. I swear they invite everybody, and then the house is so fucking full of people you can’t breathe. It happens every time, so you know they never learn.”
Naz shrugged. “Gotta let them have their fun. Everybody enjoyed seeing you play, though, didn’t they?”
He didn’t miss the way she stiffened in his arms, but she kept her smile firmly in place anyway. “Yeah, seems so.”
“What’s that about?”
“Hmm?”
“You went still just now. I mentioned the piano, and you went—”
Roz shook her head. “Nothing. It’s nothing.”
No, it was definitely something. Tonight wasn’t the night he wanted to have his first battle with Roz, though, so if she didn’t want to talk about whatever it was, he’d let it go. But not for long. Just for now. She’d figure it out that he wasn’t the kind of man who forgot anything when the right time came.
Naz would make sure of it.
Back to the better issue at hand …
“But you know, people are pouring alcohol now,” he said, “so I don’t think they’d even notice us gone.”
Roz arched a brow high as she looked up at him again. “Is that why you came out here? You had this all planned, did you? Figured instead of trying to find me in all the people, you’d let me do the work to find you. And then we’d sneak out of here to go have some real fun. That’s it, huh?”
He tried to look innocent.
And failed like a fucker.
“No,” he said slyly.
Roz just laughed, and patted a hand against his chest. “I don’t even care. Did you have something in mind? Where are we going?”
“Wherever you want, babe. It’s always about what you want, Roz.”
Didn’t she know that?
She should.
“Let’s go to your place,” she said suddenly, pushing away from him and heading for where he’d parked his car—not the bike this time—at the very end of the driveway. Naz knew better than to try and get a closer spot to the house. No one could ever leave when their vehicle was crowded by everyone else’s. “We can go there, right?”
He was still watching her walk away. “Is that where you want to go? There’s not much to see at my place. We can go anywhere, Roz.”
“Why not?”
Yeah … why not?
“So, what do you think?” Naz asked.
Roz leaned in his bedroom doorway, and peeked at the space in there. He wasn’t a big decorator, and he didn’t plan on living here forever, so he hadn’t put in much effort other than furniture, and a few things on the wall. The only thing that really meant anything to him inside the apartment was the Baby Grand piano in the living room that his grandfather, Calisto, had passed onto him when he first moved into the place. He certainly wasn’t at Roz’s level of talent when it came to the piano, but he knew a song or two and the scales.
Good enough for him.
“It’s cute,” she said.
Naz scoffed. “Cute?”
She shot him a sweet smile over her shoulder. “It feels very much like a bachelor lives here.”
His lips split with a smirk. “I’m not really a bachelor now, though, am I? I have you.”
Roz winked as she spun in the bedroom doorway. “Yeah, you still are even with me.”
“Ah, I see.”
“What is that above your bed, anyway?”
Naz didn’t even have to look in the bedroom to know what she was talking about. The equation above his bed had been left unfinished, and the large six-foot by three-foot whiteboard was only half filled with numbers and symbols. Ready for him to get back to it whenever he felt the need.
“Time,” he said. “It’s time.”
“Above your bed?”
Naz shrugged. “I’ve always had a whiteboard above my bed. I do my best thinking first thing in the morning, or right before I go to sleep. I need it close to translate what’s in my head as it comes to me.”
“And what’s on that board—”
“Is an equation—or the formula for an equation—about time, yeah.”
Roz peeked back over her shoulder. “How so?”
“It’s an equation for the idea that if time was on a constant loop, one that doesn’t end, then it would be more like an oval shape instead of the traditional infinity symbol most people think
of when we think about infinite time.”
“Why?”
He chuckled, and shoved his hands in his pockets. Why she wanted to know, he didn’t understand. It was just a boring theory in his head that hadn’t left him alone from the time he was sixteen. He’d finally decided to put it to paper even if he had dropped out of college, and left physics behind.
“Because with the idea of it being the traditional shape, at some point, time has to meet again. There’s a point where it crosses over, and we know by the fact no one has ever recorded it happening … time has never crossed over again. Instead, like an oval, we have long stretches of time that seem to mirror past events. They aren’t exactly the same, but they feel very similar. People have moments of—”
“Deja vu,” Roz interjected, smiling a little.
“Yeah, like that. So, I just thought if I could work out the math for this theory, then maybe it would be a new way to look at it.”
“And that’s all you plan to do with it? Just work out the math, and look at it?”
Naz’s tongue peeked out to touch his upper lip as he laughed. “Yeah, babe. Sometimes my head is full of so much shit that I just … have to get it out somehow. And that’s one way I do it.”
Roz stepped out of the bedroom doorway, and closer to him. “Is it always like that—your mind, I mean? Just overflowing and too much all the time?”
He stilled when her hand came up to brush against his jaw, and then her fingertips danced over his temple softly.
“Not when I’m with you,” he murmured. “It’s … quiet when I’m with you.”
Which was exactly why he hadn’t been able to get back to that equation. Why he hadn’t been able to finish it despite having it banging around in his head like a wasp that wouldn’t leave him alone for years.
Finally, he found the one thing in the world that made all this crazy shit in his head go quiet. And she was fucking perfect.
Absolutely perfect.
“I forgot for a moment,” Roz whispered.
Naz smiled as she inched closer until their noses were touching, and her lips grazed his as she spoke.
“Forgot what, Roz?”
“How smart you are. It’s just … I forgot because you’re pretty amazing in every other way, too. The genius thing is just something else to add to it, I guess.”