Too Beautiful to Break

by Tessa Bailey

  “Belmont.”

  “Bel!”

  No. Not the voices again, calling his name while he crouched in the well. He couldn’t go through this routine again, where he alternated between wanting to be found and afraid of the same outcome, at the same time. His vocal cords wouldn’t work anyway. But like that drowning person whose brain wouldn’t allow him to succumb without a fight, he kicked for the surface. “I’m here,” he yelled, knowing it was futile. “I’m right here.”

  When hands and faces and silhouettes surrounded him, it was so unexpected that Belmont didn’t believe they were there at first. He was too far down in the earth. They were searching so far away. How could they have found him?

  But…they were there. He wasn’t alone. There was his little sister, Peggy, crying. And Aaron was pissed off, shouting for a knife to cut the ropes. Rita stood in his line of sight, juggling a water bottle and a flannel shirt, then diving to her knees to wipe the stinging mix of blood and sweat from his eyes. Behind her stood a familiar woman. Or at least, he thought she looked familiar, but her form kept fading in and out in the sunlight. There were others there, too—Elliott, Jasper, Grace—running toward the nearby house and looking inside, making phone calls…they’d all come for him.

  Something inside Belmont righted itself. The part of him that had never been rescued from the bottom of the well reached up…and three hands grabbed him by the forearm, pulling him to the surface. Even as he realized the rescue he’d been waiting for since he was ten might be all for nothing, hope rushed through him. Enough to fire him into action. “Sage,” he gritted out, just as his bound wrists were set free. “Please, I need to get to Sage.”

  He sat up and tried to stand, but too many sets of hands pushed him back down. Rita held a bottle of water to his lips, but Belmont knocked it aside.

  “She’s marrying someone else.” Belmont found his brother’s slightly dazed eyes and held, all while struggling to his feet. “Sage is marrying someone else. I did this. It’s my fault. I need to get to her. I’m losing her…I’m losing her…and I can’t use my hands.”

  For a moment, Aaron only stared. Belmont could see that he understood. Belmont’s health didn’t matter; the people who’d left him to die meant nothing. If he didn’t find Sage, he would wish he had perished in the back row of the Suburban. When Belmont ground out his brother’s name a final time, Aaron snapped into action. He threw an arm around Belmont’s shoulders, striding beside him toward the Suburban. “Let’s go. I’ll take Bel and Grace in the Suburban. Everyone else follow in the van.” He assisted Belmont into the passenger side and slammed the door. “We’ve got a fucking wedding to crash.”

  * * *

  Sage thought Augustine would bring her to town hall to trade their vows. Or arrange to have the preacher perform the ceremony behind the gates of his home. What else could someone plan on a day’s notice? She should have known better. This wasn’t about Augustine settling down with a woman he respected or cared about. No, this was about restoring the face he’d lost with the people of Sibley. Her parents.

  Her parents, who were sitting in the second row, their stiff bodies communicating how shell shocked they were. How horrified. From the back of the church, Sage could see Bernadette’s slim shoulders shaking as she cried into a tissue. Miners packed the church with their families, having been given the day off to attend the nuptials. She’d overheard one of the men explaining there had been a sign posted on the fence surrounding the site that morning, alerting the workers to the wedding and inviting one and all.

  Since Sage hadn’t directly invited her parents, wanting to spare them the inevitable misery as long as possible, she surmised that Augie had invited them personally. Her stomach turned over at the reality of that. This man knocking on her parents’ door—the same door Belmont had knocked on just days earlier—and informing them their weakness had come to roost in the form of their daughter’s loveless marriage.

  Sage flinched at her own bitterness. No, she wouldn’t allow the man or the situation to alter her way of thinking. Her values. She would go through with the ceremony and deal with every day, one by one, as they came. No self-pity would pass.

  The organ music started—the same refrain she’d heard hundreds of times—and Sage’s heart leapt into her throat, clutching the flowers in her hands until some of the stems snapped.

  They were beginning early. Good. This was what she wanted. To get it over with. The Clarksons would have retrieved Belmont early this morning, and even if he balked or refused to leave, he would be distracted until the wedding concluded.

  Oh God. Oh God, had anyone ever had to make a choice like this? Save the life of the man she loved, but break his heart in the process? Or stay with him, love him, while he slowly killed himself? There was no choice, was there? The very idea of spending another day watching him float into the motel room without his usual, visible strength…it would kill her, too, in the process. Might as well die for a good cause.

  A tear slipped down Sage’s cheek when Augie appeared at the altar, through the side door. Right in front of the pew where Belmont had made love to her for the first and last time. Augie sent Sage’s parents an exaggerated smile and she almost fled, then and there. Sheer willpower kept her rooted to the ground. And the knowledge that if she backed out now, her life and the lives of her parents would be a living hell until they died.

  The organist was now on her third round of the bridal march, but Sage still hadn’t moved. A woman, probably one of the miners’ wives, was sending her a sympathetic look from the back row…and that was what finally got her moving. This town was built on strong women. The wives of miners, who faced the possibility of losing their men every single day. She was one of the ones who’d lost. Dear God, had she lost. The most incredible man in the world. A man who’d been willing to face the darkness every day to have her love. And he did. He would have it now and straight through to eternity, no matter who she married.

  Sage started down the aisle on wobbling knees, winning a small victory inside when Augie scowled at her choice of attire. A black dress that covered her, neck to toe. She tipped up her chin and kept walking, taking heart at the nods of understanding from the congregation. Taking her father’s place in the mine had earned their respect, if nothing else. She was one of them now, as she’d never been before, even though she would trade vows with the man who kept them trapped beneath his thumb.

  When Sage reached the altar, she stood and faced her future husband, but couldn’t help casting a long look at the front pew. For a too-fleeting moment, before the preacher began to speak, she felt Belmont’s breath on her neck.

  “I love you, too,” she whimpered. “It doesn’t hurt when you’re looking at me.”

  “Then I won’t stop.”

  “Are you here with me, little Sage?” Augie murmured, his mouth smiling, but his eyes hard as stone. “I’d hate to quarrel on our first day as man and wife.”

  The center of her chest was smoking with devastation. Was he so soulless that he didn’t see it? Or did he simply not care? This was the man she would live with. Share a bed with. By pledging to be Augie’s wife, she was giving up her chance to marry Belmont someday, and God, oh God, it was like she’d jumped off a bridge and now ached to be back up on the ledge. This is the right thing. I’m saving Belmont, my parents. Tears leaked out of her eyes, falling and disappearing into the bouquet of orchids she clutched in her hands. Their purplish tint reminded her of a funeral. Hers. That’s what this was.

  “Dearly beloved…”

  Sage stopped listening after that. Couldn’t make out a single word over the white noise crackling in her ears. This is a dream. If she just pretended that blessed morning would come in a few hours, maybe she could get through the actual words.

  When the church doors crashed open, Sage was still trying to live inside the dream, so she didn’t believe her eyes at first. In fact, the Clarksons appearing at the top of the aisle was exactly the scenario her grieving mind would
conjure up to save itself, so it had to be an illusion. Especially when their familiar figures parted, allowing Belmont to step through and stride down the aisle, looking like a man possessed.

  Sage dropped the bouquet, the crackling in her ears thinning into nothing. A void of sound so thick, she could hear a distant ringing. Blood, there was blood on the man she loved and his eyes were riddled with pain. Stark misery. And she’d put it there. She’d done it. While she could feel the answering agony in her own expression, shooting straight down to her laboring heart, witnessing how badly she’d hurt Belmont was far worse.

  “I had to,” she whispered, not even sure if he could hear her. “I had to. You were fading on me. You were going to keep fading.”

  Belmont’s right eye tugged at the corner, an acknowledgment that he’d heard her, but it only seemed to upset him more. “You don’t think this would fade me out, Sage?” His voice was hoarse. “I’m already half gone just seeing you up there. Without me.”

  The entire congregation had risen once more to their feet, murmurings passing among them. She didn’t have to look at Augie to know he was seething. Couldn’t look anywhere but Belmont. How had he gotten injured? In the mine? No, this looked like the result of a fight. And none of his siblings would lay a finger on him. Not even Aaron, after everything they’d overcome. Augie? Yes. She was suddenly positive that the man forcing her into marriage was responsible for the blood on Belmont, the discoloration of his jaw and around his eyes. Which meant…which meant, she was responsible.

  Denial ripped through her. “No.”

  Without thinking, Sage went toward Belmont, who’d stopped beside the first pew, clearly trying to discern how far they’d gotten into the ceremony. But Augie grabbed her by the elbow to keep her from going to Belmont.

  “Let go of her,” Belmont roared. “Let her come to me.”

  Augie’s face whitened over the deadly demand in Belmont’s tone. But instead of responding, he tipped his chin toward the acting best man, who looked more like a bodyguard. The man hesitated, but went toward Belmont with the obvious intent to escort him from the church—and received a stunning right cross for his trouble. And he didn’t get up.

  Since she’d never seen Belmont commit an act of violence, Sage’s chin dropped. But it energized something in her. She’d been asleep, trying to court numbness, but the action started a buzz in her blood. When she attempted to pry her arm free of Augie’s grip one more time, he jerked her back. “You’re already forgetting your place, little Sage.”

  And that’s when all hell broke loose.

  Belmont lunged, his big hands closing around Augie’s neck. “What did I say about calling her that?”

  The older man stumbled back, tripping on the altar steps and going down, still being held by Belmont. His eyes bulged, spittle flying from his mouth, his body shaking with the force of Belmont’s strength. No one moved to help the mine owner, except for the Clarkson siblings and their significant others, pouring down the aisle and shouting at their brother. He wouldn’t let go of Augie, though. Sage could see in the determined line of his jaw that it would take a miracle to break him free of the rage. So Sage fell to her knees and did the only thing she knew would actually work. She crammed her body in between the two men and wound her arms around Belmont’s neck.

  “Belmont,” she ordered, right against his filthy ear. “You stop this right now.”

  “Can’t.”

  “You can.” She stroked his neck and watched his eyelids flutter, felt the tautness of his muscles loosen just a degree. “This isn’t you.”

  “You don’t know what I would be like without you,” he said through clenched teeth. “Maybe this is only the beginning.”

  “That’s enough, Bel,” Aaron shouted. “Come on, man. Get off of him.” Along with Jasper and Elliott, they hooked hands beneath Belmont’s arms and pulled, pulled, but being removed from Sage made him more frantic and he wouldn’t budge.

  “Please,” Sage whispered, a shudder passing through her. On the ground, Augie’s kicking feet began to slow and now it was real, now Belmont could end up in prison. Another small space he wouldn’t be able to stand. “Belmont, please.”

  His body slumped, his forehead grinding gently into hers. “I won’t let you do this. I’d die first. Come away from here, Sage. With me.”

  “Okay. Yes.”

  Augie gasped for air behind her and Sage breathed a sigh of immense relief, extricating herself from Belmont, even though it was visibly difficult for him to let her go. Belmont helped her back to her feet. Side by side, they watched Augie roll to his hands and knees, his body heaving with the effort of replenishing his lungs. The hatred he turned on Sage knocked her back a step, but it eventually swung to everyone. Belmont, the members of the congregation. Her parents. Especially her parents.

  Augie staggered to his feet, his laughter sounding like a scratching record. “You’re only delaying the inevitable,” he wheezed. “Someone has to satisfy the debt. It’s only a matter of who and when. This little act of”—he waved his hand around—“true love or chivalry or whatever the fuck doesn’t change the numbers.”

  “You said this wasn’t about money,” Sage shot back, sensing Belmont move closer by his body heat. But she stepped away, into her own space, facing the man who’d had far too much bearing on her life. “Which is it? Is this about money or making people suffer? You can’t have it both ways. So which is it?”

  “It’s whatever I decide,” Augie spat back, eyeing first her, then the Clarksons, with disgust. “Everyone is so worried about one another. So loving. So full of shit.” He yanked at his tie, loosening it and leaving it askew. “But who’s the one you come to when love doesn’t pay the fucking bills and you need a loan or some overtime? Me. That’s right. Me. And you all hate depending on Augustine Scott, but you know who hates it more? I do. I could empty my bank accounts and I’d still eat dinner alone.”

  Silence dropped like a heavy velvet curtain over the church. Everyone stared, including Augie, who seemed shocked by his own revelation.

  “You know what I think you hate most? The more you try to prove money rules everyone, the more difficult it becomes to escape the fact that you’re wrong.” Sage flung a hand out at the congregation. “Look at these men. They go into the mine every day. And it’s brutal. So brutal. You think they do it because they’re scared of you? No, it’s about love. It’s about feeding their families and having a roof to live beneath. It’s about pride and duty.” Sage hardly recognized her own voice, it was so clear and confident, but she couldn’t stop to consider why. “You think making threats and collecting favors will take those things away from them? It won’t. I almost let you take my pride, my love, from me, but look. Look around. You lose.” Her heart thundered in her ears. “If you decide this is about money, we’ll find a way to settle the debt, but it won’t make you happy. You won’t be happy until you stop trying to make everyone as miserable as you are.” Once again she gestured toward the people filling the pews. “You won’t succeed, either. They won’t let you.”

  Sage didn’t know what would happen next, but she needed to be free of the church. She needed her friends. And Belmont. Always Belmont. She took his hand and started down the aisle, but someone stood in the middle of the congregation, bringing her to a halt. “I’ll donate a day’s worth of pay toward Thomas’s books.” The stocky mine worker shifted on his feet, looking uncomfortable by the attention wrought by his announcement. “I’d do more if I could. That girl, going into the mine like she did for her daddy…we all hope our daughters grow up like that. And bring home the kind of man who’d take her place, even though…well”—he nodded once at Belmont—“even though. She’s right. This is about pride. And she’s one of our own now. I don’t mind working a day on their behalf.”

  The man sat down and tugged his Saints cap back on.

  Sage watched through blurred vision as man after man stood—there must have been two hundred—pledging a day or two’s worth of w
ork to her family’s cause. A family they’d never embraced, but somehow she had changed their minds.

  “It was you,” Belmont whispered in her ear. “This is all for you.”

  As men continued to stand and offer up their physical labor, Belmont took Sage’s hand and walked her down the aisle, toward the back of the church. She called thank-yous to the men as they went, knowing nothing would ever be sufficient. There was no way to express what the outpouring of love meant, but she would find a way to try.

  Steps from the door, she turned to find her parents watching her with something that looked like astonished pride, but it only lasted for a fleeting moment, before they curled their bodies into each other. Sage wasn’t surprised by it. Not hurt, either. Not anymore. Watching the familiar sight only strengthened the realization that she’d returned to Sibley with a lot of guilt she’d never deserved. She didn’t want her parents to shoulder it, either, so in that moment, she shed it and left it behind, along with the fear that she and Belmont would ever be like them.

  And the friends who followed her from the church—her beloved Clarksons—they would help. There wasn’t a question in her mind. Combined with the money she had saved in the bank, the debt would be settled and her father would have his pension.

  Her parents were free. Which meant she was free. Bernie and Thomas would always be a concern. There was a very real possibility they could find themselves in financial trouble again. She would help them. No. They, she thought, feeling Belmont’s hand holding hers so tightly. They would work tirelessly to find a solution. But that help would come from California or occasional trips to Sibley, because she couldn’t sacrifice her own happiness anymore. The first step was getting back in the Suburban and driving.

  God, she couldn’t wait.

  Just before exiting the church, she turned to find Augie watching his employees with awe, and something inside Sage told her it was the beginning of a change. A good one.

  As they walked down the steps, however, into the cold morning drizzle, Sage looked up at Belmont and saw his eyes remained unsettled. Their hands were connected, but somewhere between them, a link in their chain had snapped.