by Angel Rose
“Jen, are you trying to tell me something?” He said sarcastically holding the ornament in his hand.
“Yes. I’m pregnant!” I shouted.
Michael’s facial expression immediately changed, his face flushed with anger as he clenched the ornament in his hand. He placed the ornament in my hand, stood up, and dashed out of the living room. Dave quickly stood up, spilling his drink in the process and followed him.
I was flooded with emotions. I went from high to low in zero to sixty…fast, and I immediately began to cry. I placed my hand over my mouth because I felt as if I was going to throw up. Tilly and Margaret walked me to the kitchen holding me by my arms. They sat me down and gave me a glass of water. I could hear Michael talking in the bedroom to Dave but, I couldn’t make out what he was saying.
“Jen, it’s okay. Michael just got nervous, that’s all.” Tilly said rubbing my arm.
“Jesus, but did he have to react like a fucking asshole? What’s wrong with him?” Margaret said to Tilly.
“Come on, cut him some slack. Remember what happened, he probably just got the shock of his life. I’m sure he’ll come around,” Tilly answered.
“It’s okay. I should’ve waited until after dinner,” I said wiping my tears with a napkin and blowing my nose.
Michael approached me and said,
“Can I have a minute alone?” he glanced over at Tilly and Margaret. Margaret was upset. Tilly grabbed her by the arm, signaling her with her eyes to leave the kitchen. They walked out of the kitchen and went into the living room with Dave and Eddie.
“I’m sorry, Jenesis. I was caught by surprise. I’m in shock. I just wish you would have told me in private first.” He said apologetically while kneeling in front of me. I shook my head. “Jen, look at me. I’m sorry. I’m an ass what can I say? I just didn’t know what to say. I…I was so hurt when we lost the first baby. I’m scared.” he whispered as he kissed my nose and hugged me.
“Are you happy?” I said whimpering.
“Of course I’m happy, I love you. This is what I’ve been waiting for.” He kissed my hands and then the tips of my fingers. I shook my head.
“I’m sorry, baby.” He whispered. I placed my head against his chest and cried quietly. I tried not to whimper, but it was evident I was hurt. He held me tightly and kissed my forehead.
“Come on.” He looked at me and grabbed my hand and a bottle of champagne from the fridge. We walked towards the living room. I was still gasping for air from crying so much. He let go of my hand and jumped on the sofa where Tilly sat.
“We’re having a baby!” he shouted. Everyone stood up and cheered. Tilly grabbed my arm and kissed my cheek.
“You little liar. Why didn’t you tell me?” she whispered in my ear.
“I didn’t tell anyone.” I smiled. She nodded her head and pursed her lips.
“Except Margaret. You little shit! I wanted to know, too.” She poked her finger at my belly.
“Sorry…I still love you though.” I made a puppy dog face.
“I love you, too.” She smiled.
He popped the bottle of champagne and the cork hit the Christmas tree and knocked down one of the ornaments. Eddie ducked, making sure he wasn’t the object of affection for this cork this time around. Everyone laughed and Tilly gave everyone a plastic champagne glass with pink, yellow and blue ribbons tied to the base. Michael poured the champagne missing most of glasses and spilling champagne all over the floor. Dave took the ornament and as he placed it on the tree, he looked over at Michael and Michael nodded his head. Margaret then gave Michael a hug and Dave hugged me and whispered,
“I’m going to be the best grandpa to this little boy. It’s a boy you know…I can feel it.” Dave said as he hugged me.
“I know…I feel it, too.” I whispered.
“Hey guys, over here!” Michael shouted. The television was on channel 7, New Year’s Rockin’ Eve in Times Square. The ball was ready to drop.
“Ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five, four, three, two, one…Happy New Year!” We all chanted together and kissed each other on the cheeks welcoming the New Year 2015. Michael got on his knees, lifted my blouse and kissed my belly while Margaret took a picture with her cell phone.
We set the table and ate dinner together. It made me feel good knowing that my mother recipe’s made other people happy, too. But it brought back a memory and I remembered how I used to whisper in my mom’s ear after our holiday dinner, “I loved it mommy, its okay if daddy didn’t eat it. He’ll eat it later.” She would always smile, even when he threw the food and the plate in the garbage. That unimaginable BASTARD.
Eddie and Tilly also had an announcement to make. They were getting married, but they were getting married in England. They handed us invitations. I opened it, and it read…
You are cordially invited to the holy matrimony of
Chantilly Lace Ashforde to Edward Lewis Tavaris
on the 24th of January, 2015.
She told me once that her mother named her after a 50’s song Chantilly Lace. I’ve never heard of it. She wanted to have her wedding near her family. We were all excited for them both, but heading out to England would be a no go for me especially since I was pregnant. I couldn’t believe she was getting married this month. That was a very quick decision, mainly because she was still madly in love with Dave, which she tries so much to hide.
Dave and Margaret were happy for us, too. Dave particularly, he had a huge smile on his face when Michael opened the box so Margaret said. I know how much he loves me and this baby will bring everyone closer together. I know Dave will be the best grandfather in the world to this baby and Margaret, without a doubt, would love my child more than me. Margaret and Dave left first, hugging and kissing me until I couldn’t breathe. Eddie and Tilly were happy for us, but I can see the hurt in her eyes. I know she regrets having an abortion and I don’t blame her. I know she loves Dave no matter how happy she thinks she is with Eddie. Dave was a great actor; he totally dismissed Tilly the entire night without blinking. I think he wanted to make things work with Margaret.
As everyone left the loft, the silence was music to my ears. I was tired and I just wanted to relax after all of the commotion and cooking. Michael and I sat on the couch together, my legs on top of his lap while he stroked my belly with his fingers. He glanced at me from the corner of his eye, then leaned in and whispered in my ear,
“Thank you for making me the happiest man alive.” he said. I looked at him for a moment,
“I love you.” I kissed his soft lips and I placed his arm over my shoulder.
“Hey, they’re giving a great classic movie tonight,” I said.
“Yeah… what is it?”
“Wuthering Heights, the original.”
“I’ve never seen it.”
“You’re gonna love it.” I hugged him and we sat on the couch and watched my mother’s favorite love story, the classic movie Wuthering Heights on the Turner Classic Movie channel.
I fell asleep in his arms and dreamed that I was Cathy and Michael was Heathcliff. In my dream, I was reaching out to Michael to help me before I fell off the cliff near the Yorkshire moors, and then he turned his back on me. I fell to my death holding a bunch of white orchids in my hands, never seeing Michael again. I awoke frantically and looked over at Michael who was still sleeping with his eyes tightly shut.
“You didn’t save me, why Michael? Why?” I whispered to him. I felt a moment of fear that shuddered deep within my soul. I looked around the room frightened as my heart raced inside my chest. I stared at him as he slept for a moment, then I laid down next to him leaning my head on his chest, listening to his heartbeat, and then without a warning…I fell asleep.
***
The next couple of weeks were hard. I found myself feeling nauseous all of the time and spent most of my days puking my head off. I needed a break. I called Dave and told him I was just too exhausted to go into work. Michael left early that morning with his entourage. Dave chan
ged my shift to days, and with the baby coming he didn’t want me going home late.
Eddie and Tilly were heading to England to get married soon. I thought about how much I was going to miss them, ‘our get togethers’, and our brunches. My cell phone vibrated on the kitchen table and I ran to answer it. It was Tilly.
“Hey stranger, how’ve you been?” she asked.
“Baby’s growing nicely, how’s Eddie?”
“Nervous and not looking forward to making this big move to England?”
“Have you heard from Margaret?” I asked.
“Yeah, rarely though, we’ve all been so busy.”
“Jen, can I ask you something?” Tilly voice was low.
“Yeah, of course.”
“How are you feeling about Dave lately?”
“What? What do you mean, how am I feeling about Dave? What kind of question is that?”
“Well, I didn’t want to say anything to you, but at your wedding, he said something strange to me?”
“What?”
“Well, he said that he really loved you and that one day you would come to your senses about Michael. I mean, he was really drunk. You know, he didn’t even look at Margaret the whole night.”
“He said the same thing to me when he walked me down the aisle. I don’t know what to make of it. I don’t want to relive any of this again. Can we drop it? Please?”
“Yeah, sure. I’m sorry. I guess you’re right. It just didn’t sit right with me. I wish you guys could come to London for our wedding. I know it’s risky because you’re pregnant. Are you sure you won’t change your mind?”
“No, but please, come over, come now and I’ll cook.”
“You know what, that sounds like a great idea. I’ll be there.” I decided to take a nap, when suddenly, the urge to vomit drove me to gag and lean over the kitchen sink and I started throwing up violently. I opened the faucet and splashed cold water on my face, grabbed the kitchen towel and wiped my mouth. I walked over to the living room and curled into a ball and fell asleep.
I woke up five hours later and started to prepare dinner. It was the best sleep I had in weeks. The buzzard rang and it was Tilly. I waited for her at the elevator and to my surprise, Margaret had accompanied her. I was so excited. I hugged them both tightly almost crushing them together. I was going to miss Tilly so much, but I was so glad Margaret was here for me. We ate and talked all that has happened since we met each other. Reflecting on the past made me decide on how I should deal with my future. I wanted things to be different with all of us. I wanted all of us to be a family.
Margaret and Tilly were getting ready to leave after their last glass of wine.
“I’m going to really miss you Tilly.” I said as my voice cracked.
“Me too, I…” She stopped speaking.
“It’s okay. I think we better just say goodbye, this is too hard.” I smiled and kissed her on the cheek. “I love you. Safe trip there, okay?” I whispered.
Tilly nodded her head and walked towards the elevator. Margaret hugged me tightly and said,
“If you ever need me for anything…I will always be here for you. I love you like a daughter, I can’t wait until my grandson is born.”
“Oh, you know it’s a boy, too, huh?” I giggled.
“Definitely…next Sunday?” she said.
“Next Sunday…drive safely.” Margaret meant every word sincerely. She seemed saddened by something but she didn’t want to say. It was probably Dave.
Later on that evening, Eddie called me on my cell phone to speak with Michael.
“Hi Eddie, Michael’s at work.” I said.
“Well, can you tell him I said Good-bye?” His voice was cold.
“Sure, but why don’t you call him on his cell phone?” I asked curiously.
“I have, it keeps going straight to voicemail,” he sounded disappointed.
“Oh, when are you guys leaving?”
“In an hour.”
“In an hour? But Tilly just left my house.”
“I don’t know, I think I’m walking down the aisle this weekend. You know Tilly, everything is a surprise.” he chuckled.
“Well, it’s not the 24th as of yet. I think you were part of the process of making the invitations.” I giggled but he stood silent. “I do wish the both of you the best of luck, good bye Eddie, give Tilly a big kiss and hug from the both of us.”
“Good bye, tell my buddy I’m going to miss him,” he said sadly.
“I will, cheerio, right?” I giggled.
“Yeah, Honey nut…” he said laughing. We hung up and I almost felt as if Eddie didn’t want to leave. He seemed lost. As my New Year resolution, I needed to mind my business and move on. I didn’t ask any more questions and that’s where it ended.
Michael came home late that night, slamming the door and throwing the mail on the kitchen table.
“Michael, is everything okay?”
“Yeah, I just dropped my keys.” He walked over to me and gave me a kiss.
“Do you want dinner? I can heat it up.”
“No, not hungry, save it for tomorrow.” He said yawning.
“Okay… Listen, Tilly and Margaret were. Tilly and Eddie are leaving; I mean they should have left already. He said to tell you good bye and cheerio and all that good stuff.” I giggled but Michael was not amused.
“Wow, what a way to leave your best friend. He didn’t even call me.” he said irritated.
“He said he did call you on your cell but it went straight to voicemail.” I said puzzled by his annoyance.
“Defending him… are we?” he said sarcastically as he threw his suit jacket on the couch and flung his shoes off of his feet.
“What? Come on… he’s your best friend. What’s with you?”
“Exactly, so why is he calling you?” He seemed angry.
“Michael, give me a break, I’m going back to sleep.” I kissed him on his forehead goodnight and walked towards the bedroom.
Michael grabbed my hand and said,
“Come here, I’m not hungry for food.” He sat on the couch pulling me down.
“Michael, not now, I’m tired. You had a long day at work and I cooked for you and the girls.” I said shrugging him off. I walked away to the bedroom to lie down. He began to take his clothes off and went into to take a shower. I was so exhausted all I wanted to do was sleep.
“Jenesis,” I heard him say. He crawled underneath the sheets and began caressing my breasts. I rolled over towards him and said,
“Come on, Michael I’m tired, tomorrow, okay?” I said sleepily.
“No, come on, now, I want you… now.” he insisted.
He slid his hand between my legs turning me around and sunk his thick, hard erection into me. I was tight and it hurt. It was really uncomfortable, but I didn’t want to say anything to him. Then, I felt him pushing into me a little harder and I yelled,
“You’re hurting me!” I grabbed his arm tightly.
“Come on Jenesis, you know you like it like this. I’m just a little stressed out, baby. Please…I need you.” He slowed down and I turned to stare at his face.
“Michael, really? I told you, you’re hurting me?
“Let me finish, at least?” he demanded.
“No, what are doing? Are you crazy?” I shouted. He grabbed me by the waist and stood behind me lifting my ass towards him.
“You can’t deny your husband.” He whispered in my ear. “I’m almost done.” He held my arms together by my wrists, pulling them behind me. He pushed into me hard. I held my breath for a moment sucking up the pain that was shooting through my belly. I wasn’t turned on at all. So I faked my orgasm so he could get off of me as quickly as possible. He let go of my arms and flipped me on my back. I was shocked to see that dark, desperate stare in his eyes, and for a moment, it almost seemed as though he hated me. He pumped into me faster reaching his climax, letting out a low groan as he pushed harder in me as he came. The sweat dripped from the tip of his nose as he
stood up, leaving me leaning on my elbows and my ass up in the air. He stood there shaking his semi-hard erection as he shook the last of his release on my ass. I felt ashamed as he smeared his come over my ass cheeks then smacked it hard. I jolted and sat up. It almost felt like I had just been raped by a stranger. I slid down on the mattress pulling the blanket over my body trying to sit in a dry spot on the bed. I watched him go into the bathroom, wrapped the blanket around me, and walked to the kitchen. I was trembling all over. I tried to swallow the ball in my throat but it didn’t work. The tears slowly ran down my face. I heard Michael get out of the bathroom. I waited until he walked into the bedroom to quickly walk over to the bathroom and lock the door behind me. I was shaking with anger. I rubbed my belly gently as I looked in the mirror. I didn’t recognize myself. I looked and felt like a victim, like the ones I visited when I worked for children’s services, not his wife. It was after midnight, and I was exhausted. I sat on the toilet bowl, crying silently, then I took a cup, filled it water from the sink, and began to wash myself with soap between my legs, too exhausted to take a shower. Michael knocked on the door and startled me. I dropped the cup of water on the floor.
“Are you coming to bed?” he asked softly.
“Yeah, in a minute,” I answered hesitantly.
I dried myself off with the towel and stood by the door inside of the bathroom. I was heartbroken, and I didn’t want to leave the bathroom. He knocked on the door again.
“What are you doing in there?”
“Nothing, I’m coming out.” I said as my voice trembled.
“You feel okay?”
“I was just cleaning up. I’m a little nauseous.” I walked to the bed and slipped under the covers. Michael stood by the bedroom door staring at me with pain in his eyes. He finally realized he did something wrong. He then climbed into bed with me. He stroked my hair with his fingers.
“I love you. I really needed you tonight. I had a rough day at work. You understand, right?” he said as he brushed his hands over my stomach. I grabbed his hands and pushed them away. “Why are you pushing me away?” Why the hell did he think I was pushing him away? What’s wrong with him?
“I’m not. I’m just nauseous. Good night.” I whispered. Michael held on to my stomach the entire night stroking it gently after he forced me to have sex. I guess he really didn’t understand, but I did, and I was hurt…disappointed in him.