Pick-me-up

by Cecilia La France

  Chapter 21:  Another Day

  Katelyn trudged around the sidewalk corner to turn up her street.  Her feet hurt.  She hadn’t had to walk home from school since her dad had bought the used car.  Luckily, the sunny March day wasn’t too cold.  Looking at her house, Katelyn saw the rusty, green Neon right where her dad had it towed the night before.  

  “Piece of shit,” she muttered.  The car left Katelyn stranded at work the previous night.  The ignition would turn over, but the motor refused to catch.  She tried so many times, the car didn’t turn over any more.  When she called home, her dad yelled at her for not taking better care of the car.

  “I give you a car and this is how you treat it.  You got to take care of a car.  It takes care of you, right?  You got to take care of it.”  Her dad continued to rant about oil changes and other car maintenance she knew nothing about.  Suddenly it was her car instead of the one he received rides in every time she was home from work.  Katelyn had wanted to hang up on him, but she needed him.  Tim was working on a friend’s car in Ames.  Angel wasn’t answering her phone.  And, Jen was without a car again since she broke up with the trailer park boyfriend.  Besides, Jen was in Ames crashing on Jodi’s couch while she waited on an opening at a new subsidized apartment complex.  So, Kayla and Jacob were back sharing Brianna and her mom’s rooms again.  

  At nearly 11 p.m. her dad drove out in her mom’s car after she had come home from work.  Katelyn listened to him complain while he failed to start the Neon, too.  

  “Dad, just call a tow truck,” she had whined impatiently.  And, eventually, he did, after making it quite clear she’d be paying for the tow.  When she finally made it home, Katelyn was too tired to do her homework.  She escaped to her room exhausted.  

  Sleep didn’t come until her mom and dad’s arguing ended with him leaving.  “Thank God,” Katelyn sighed to herself.  Her dad was making home miserable.  The small amount of guilt she felt at wishing him gone was overruled by her lack of patience.  She was sick of her dad.  All he did was find something to argue about.  With everyone.  It wasn’t just her mom anymore.  Even Brianna, who managed to escape every punishment, was getting a share of her dad’s mouth.

  Katelyn knew her mom thought he was off his meds and back doing drugs.  The visits to the Des Moines were completed, but he was supposed to be taking a medication they had prescribed.  

  Warning signs were popping up all over.  Her dad was home sometimes when he shouldn’t be.  He claimed his construction job was wrapping up and he would be back to full time when a new site opened.  His story didn’t add up.  But, he’d argue for hours to make anyone who dared question him believe him.

  Katelyn came closer to the house and did her usual survey of the parked cars outside her house.  Her uncle’s Mazda was in the driveway.  He was probably over to borrow a tool or something.  Katelyn hoped her cousin Ryan was with him.  She used to be pretty close to her cousin when they were younger even though he was a few years older than her.  

  As she came up on the yard, her jaw dropped.  “What the hell?” she mumbled to herself.  Spread out on the edge of the driveway, tools and machinery dotted the soggy cold grass.  Her dad’s tools.  Saws and other power tools, sets of wrenches, and some left over construction pieces—pipes and duct work--made her lawn look like a construction site.  She slowly walked by each piece.  Her dad came out of the shed in front of her with a cardboard box that clinked with metal noise as he passed her.  Uncle Russ, with a beer in one hand and a smoke in the other, made only a few steps in attempt to follow.  

  “You ever used a laser-guided saw before?”

  Russ gave a grunt reply, “Naw.”

  “I tell you what, it’s a hell of a lot better.  It’s night and day.  You’ll never go back.”  Her dad dropped the box onto the lawn and turned to Russ to finish his pitch.  “I’d give you a good deal on that one.  It’s in great shape.”

  Russ didn’t answer but occupied himself with a drag on his cigarette followed with a drink of his beer, enough time for her dad to turn his attention on her.  “Where you been?”  Katelyn gave him a look like he should be able to figure it out on his own and even pointed at the curb-parked Neon.  “Well, make yourself useful.  Get those kids out here to pick up their bikes and those toys.  Not unless they want them sold, too.”  He laughed.

  “What are you doing?!”  Katelyn made no attempt to hide her disgust from her voice.  

  Her dad looked over his display of tools and stated the obvious, “Why, I’m having a sale.”  He turned to Russ, “I’ve got so much shit I don’t use, I might as well get something for it.”  

  Katelyn yelled to his back as he walked back to the shed.  “But it’s March!  No one has garage sales in March.”  He ignored her.

  “Did you fix the car?” Katelyn yelled.  He continued to ignore her, disappearing into the shed.  “Arhh,” she yelled and she stomped into the house.  

  Inside she threw her bag on the kitchen table and rounded the corner to see her cousin Ryan atop a mound of cushions on the living room floor.  Beside him was Colton.  The two were duking it out in a boxing video game on the TV.  Colton was having a hard time staying on his knees and looked to be strangling the controller with his fists.  Ryan was smiling and messing with the kid, totally kicking down Colton’s character.  “Say mercy.  Say mercy.  Say mercy,” he kept repeating.

  “Screw you,” Colton said without being punished.  So, he quickly added, “Kiss my ass, fartface.”

  “Hey,” Katelyn warned.  Colton gave her a one second surprised look before he went back to losing the game.  

  She wouldn’t fight it.  “Hey, Ryan.”

  “Hey, Kate.”  Ryan didn’t turn from the screen.  She let them duke it out while she opened her web page to check for messages or posts.  Nothing from Tim.  His text while she was at school said he was going to go work on his friend’s car again tonight.  She called his cell.  The voice mail message picked up after only three rings.  Katelyn didn’t leave a message.  

  Where are the kids? Katelyn suddenly panicked. She forgot about Kayla and Jacob, and, if Colton was here, Sierra likely was too.

  She turned to Ryan quickly.  “Where are the kids?”

  He turned and his face thought through the question.  “What?  Oh, um, they were out here.  Try Brianna’s room.”  He turned back to the screen.  “Let’s go again, boy.”

  Katelyn walked quickly down the hall and slowed quietly when she reached the cracked open door of Brianna’s room.  She listened as she peered in.  She heard Jacob before she saw him banging the heat register grill against the floor, lifting the dirty metal to his mouth to taste it and then slamming it up and down again.  Katelyn was about to go in, but heard Kayla complain.  “When do I get to be the teacher?  Sierra, you said--”  Kayla didn’t get to finish her whine.  

  “Stop,” Sierra’s voice was more assertive than Katelyn had ever heard it.  “You will have extra homework if you say that.”

  Katelyn tried not to laugh.  She pushed open the door.  “What are you guys doing?”  She took the register grate from Jacob and stuffed it back into the hole in the floor.  She picked him up and put a new toy in his hands to stop his squirming.  

  Kayla immediately pleaded her case.  “It was my idea, and Sierra won’t let me be the teacher.”  She turned to Sierra, “She’s a bad teacher!”

  Sierra threw her pencil to the bed and pointed out the door.  “That’s it.  Go to the principal.  You are bad.”

  “I quit!”  Kayla crossed her arms and hung her head.  

  Papers littered the floor, and Katelyn set Jacob down so she could pick them up.  “If you two knew how long you’d have to be in school, you’d be playing a better game.” The papers were from Brianna’s folder, some marked with scores and some incomplete.  The grades on the completed papers were poor.  “See how hard it is?  There’s tests, too.”  Katelyn held up a paper marked
“40%” for the kids, but they had moved away.  Sierra went to Brianna’s computer and opened a game.  Kayla sat on the edge of the bed.

  “What do the tests do?”  Kayla always seemed to be fascinated with school.

  “Nothing, you have to answer a lot of questions so they can see how smart you are.”

  Katelyn had Kayla’s full attention now.  “Are you smart?”

  A laugh escaped Katelyn’s throat and then she thought about the question.  Katelyn never considered herself dumb.  But, she sure felt dumb when she took those tests.  School tested for the wrong kind of smart.  

  “What do you guys want for dinner?”  She asked as she picked up Jacob and walked to the door.

  “Mac and Cheese!”  Kayla yelled, excited now, school easily forgotten.  

  “Sierra, Mac and Cheese?”

  Without turning from the screen, Sierra mumbled, “Whatever.”

  Sierra’s lack of interest momentarily bothered Katelyn.  Sierra was a laid back kid, so Katelyn didn’t expect an attitude from her.  Katelyn waited for Sierra to at least turn and give her a familiar look.  Sierra ignored her on purpose.   

  Sierra was eight years old.  When did this start? Katelyn thought.  

  Katelyn made it to the living room in time to see Colton lose his temper at losing the video game.  He threw the controller to the ground and stood to repeatedly kick the cushions under Ryan’s back.  Ryan shielded himself with one arm while he laughed.  “Sore Loser!”

  Colton ran outside without a coat.  

  “Why are they here?”  Katelyn asked, referring to Colton and Sierra.  

  Ryan shrugged.  “Iuhno. Jodi dropped them off with your dad before I got here.”  Ryan got up and followed her into the kitchen.

  Katelyn set Jacob down on the floor to play with pots and pans.  He was able to take a few steps but plopped down and resorted back to crawling away from the room.   She began reading the dinner package and then decided to take a few more boxes down from the cupboard.  If Ryan was hanging out, they’d need more.  “Want dinner?”

  He looked at the package.  “Sure.”  

  “I think you have time.  Dad’s trying to sell Russ pretty much the contents of the shed.”

  Ryan snorted, “Good luck, unless it says Bud Light on it, he ain’t buyin’.”

  Katelyn rolled her eyes and switched topics.  “So, are you gonna come back to school here?”

  “To hell with school.  Dad ain’t enrolled me yet and isn’t going to make me go.  Grandma’s fit to be tied, though.  Says I ain’t welcome under her roof if I ain’t in school.  Hell, I’m 16, almost 17, now.  I don’t have ta.”

  Katelyn poured water into the pan.  “What are you gonna do?”

  Ryan shrugged.  “Iuhnno.”  

  “I wish you’d come back; there’s no one to hang out with there.”

  Ryan gave her a look that said “Hell no” and held up his hand as a warning for her not to try push him.   “You’re 16 this summer, right?  You gonna stick it out.”

  Katelyn turned to him with a puzzled expression.  “Yeah.”  Dropping out wasn’t anything that had ever been in her plans.  Sure, she didn’t like school, but it was expected of her.  Her sisters didn’t stay in, but . . .but what? What makes me different?  Katelyn searched for the real answer.  Sure, her parents were different.  In fact, they were like a whole different family since her dad was not her older sisters’ dad.  Besides, her mom was always in her face about school.  Then, there was the obvious reason: Katelyn wasn’t pregnant like Jodi had been.  As for Jen, well, school was just another thing she hated about life.  No one was going to tell her what to do. Jen didn’t get pregnant with Kayla until after she stopped going to school.

  Ryan had searched through the cupboards and now chomped from a bag of chips.  “I wouldn’t ever get enough credits anyway.”

  “What do you mean?”

  He laughed and Katelyn turned so she didn’t have to look at the partially chewed mush in his mouth.  “I think I only passed two classes.  I’d have to frickin’ start over as a Freshman in order to get enough credits to graduate.”

  So she wouldn’t appear stupid, Katelyn didn’t ask how many credits she needed.  She mentally calculated how many classes she’d already failed versus how many she’d passed.  She frowned.  She ended up failing science and PE second quarter.  Third quarter was finishing this week, and science didn’t look good again.  

  “Where’s Tim?” Ryan switched topics.  

  Making a point not to show she was bothered, Katelyn replied, “He’s in Ames working on a friend’s car.”

  “What kind?”

  Katelyn shrugged and averted her eyes.  Tim hadn’t ever mentioned the car.  Questions started to pop up in her head.  She’d never met the friend either.  Someone named Travis, a guy from work or something.  Did he feed her an excuse?  

  The water for the noodles hadn’t boiled yet.  Katelyn didn’t have anything to keep her occupied.  She swirled her tongue around its piercing and absentmindedly turned the circle pendant hanging from her neck.  

  “Is Tim still working at the garage?”

  Katelyn nodded.  Now that she thought about it, Tim hadn’t been telling her any stories about bitchy customers lately.  He would tell me if he quit, she reassured herself.  But, he didn’t tell her about quitting the alternative school.  Katelyn frowned.  

  “You think he could get me on there?”

  Katelyn shrugged again and avoided looking at him by getting the butter and milk out of the refrigerator.  “Maybe.”  Ryan was one of the most irresponsible people she knew.  There was a fat chance of his getting hired.  Tim may have a record, but he could fix anything with wheels.  She wasn’t sure Ryan would ever finish any job.  Katelyn loved her cousin, but she wouldn’t hire him.

  “Next week is Spring Break.  Are you going to be around?”  Katelyn barely finished her question when the side door opened and Russ walked right past Katelyn like she wasn’t there.  She moved out of the way to avoid getting hit.  Her dad followed close behind.  

  Russ threw his can in the garbage and gave Ryan a hard look.  “We’re leavin’.”

  Ryan didn’t question him, but turned to grab his coat off the back of a chair.  Russ turned to leave, but her dad blocked the way to the door.  “Hey, man, I was just askin’ a favor.  Don’t take it wrong.”

  Russ halted in front of her dad, which was comical because he could easily plow her dad over if he wanted to.  Russ towered a foot taller than him.  “That’s fucked up, Brian.  Don’t drag me into that shit.”  Russ pushed her dad out of the way as he walked out the door.  Ryan waited until her dad followed Russ out the door.  Ryan gave Katelyn a sympathetic look and left.

  Dread and panic crept over Katelyn.  The water had started to boil.  She had to finish making dinner.  The kids needed to eat.  She was stuck in the kitchen, in the open, and there wasn’t a working car for her dad to escape with.  Katelyn didn’t know what her dad did to piss Russ off, but Russ didn’t shake easily.  She did know that she’d get to hear enough of her dad’s side of the story, though, unless she could escape being his audience.  

  Katelyn had an idea and quickly retrieved her bag from the counter.  After checking each pocket, she slumped.  She had left her MP3 player at Tim’s over the weekend.  So much for acting like she couldn’t hear him.  That had worked before.  

  The water boiled over onto the stove.  Katelyn quickly went back to task and dumped in the pasta.  The door opened behind her and she braced herself.

  “Mother fucker.  Mother fucker.”  She heard the door slam and her dad’s stomping around behind her.  “Jesus, see if I ever help that fucker again.”  He continued to swear, but Katelyn didn’t turn.  The sooner she finished the dinner, the faster she could get away from him.  

  By the time she had the kids to the table, her dad had quit yelling about Russ.  Instead, he was walking from room to ro
om counting off every mess in the house.  Sierra refused to come out of Brianna’s room, so Katelyn just left her.  Let her pull an attitude.  I don’t deserve it.  I’m not her mother, Katelyn thought.  

  Jacob ate some cereal and made a royal mess out of his mac and cheese.  Katelyn set him down without washing his face or hands.  He tore off to the living room to play with the controllers left on the ground.  Colton was helping himself to another plate, and Kayla looked content scribbling on some papers left on the table.  Katelyn took the opportunity to dive into her room for a few minutes of silence.  

  She plopped on her bed and closed her eyes for a good minute.  It was still light outside, but the shadows stretched across her room promising darkness soon.  She grabbed her phone from her pocket.  “Call me.  I need u.”

  The house almost seemed peaceful while she waited for Tim’s ring tone.  Instead, the cell vibrated with a text.

  “Busy.  What’s up”

  All of her patience left and she filled with anger.  “Call” was all she sent in response.  Katelyn bit at her nail.  Finally, the phone rang.  

  “What’s going on?” he asked, obviously bothered.

  “Where are you?”

  “Working on Travis’ car.”  Katelyn listened closely to try hear any background noises.  He sounded like he was in a small room.  His voice echoed like it would off bathroom walls.  “What do you want?”

  After a crappy day at school with a new detention for being late this morning, walking home from school, getting dumped with kids, and dealing with her dad, she really needed Tim.  Katelyn couldn’t help keep the hurt from her voice.  “Dad’s freaking out.”  And then she admitted aloud what she’d been scared to think, “I think he’s tweakin’.”

  Tim stayed silent on the other end.

  “Are you there?” she finally asked.

  It was silent for another moment.  “Yeah.”  And nothing more.

  Tears welled in Katelyn’s eyes and she bit her lip.  Her face flushed with anger and an overwhelming sadness.  A couple tears spilled and rolled over her cheeks.  She wiped them away with her free hand, but they were quickly replaced.  Katelyn didn’t trust her voice and tried to keep her breathing from turning into a sob.  

  “Look, what do you want me to do?”  Tim’s words weren’t laced with the earlier irritation, but were flat.  Katelyn heard him let out a deep breath.  “Travis is waiting.  I gotta go.”

  Katelyn tried to get her voice together so he wouldn’t hear her crying.  Before she could say anything, the line went dead.

  She heard a pan clatter to the floor in the dining room followed by Kayla’s tired cry.  Her dad began yelling at Kayla to shut up.  Katelyn jumped from her bed and ran out of her room.  By the time she reached the dining room, Kayla was screaming and crawling under the table.  

  “You come out of there right now.  You won’t make a mess in my house and get away with it.  Get out here.  Get out here.”  Her dad had lowered himself to the floor and was reaching after her.  Colton was standing frozen at the end of the table.  His mouth made a small open circle to match his scared eyes.  

  “Dad!”  Katelyn yelled as she grabbed his shoulder to stop him from reaching Kayla.  “Dad!  She’s three years old!”

  He pulled back quickly, shocked at her touch.  He stood up and stepped in to yell at her.  “Excuse me?!  Excuse me?!  Are you trying to boss me around now, too?  That’s great.  And who do you think you are?”

  Katelyn cowered slightly and averted her face to the side, but she didn’t step back.  But, as she looked down, she saw his hands clenched in fists.  She inhaled sharply and then clenched her own jaw in anger.  Her dad would never hit her.  He never had.  Her dad didn’t act like this, except . . .  

  His arm twitched.  She looked back at his face.  All she saw was sick.   His eyes burned dark and mean, but the yellow around the black-beaded eyes were laced with red. His skin under the stubble of a day’s beard growth was gray and blotched with low red bumps.  A scream started to burn deep inside her.

  “Leave her alone,” she hissed in a voice she didn’t recognize.  His face tilted slightly in shock.  She repeated herself louder.  “Leave her alone.”

  Kayla’s cry was a hyper barking now.  Jacob had joined the crying, too, in long drawn out screams.  

  “Well, that’s just great.  Not one kid in this whole damn house—my damn house, for fuck’s sake—not one of ya know how to show an ounce of respect.”

  Katelyn cut him off and took a small step into his face.  “No, Dad.  Respect!  Do you see how you’re acting?!  Look at the kids—“

  He cut her off, and she saw it coming but couldn’t move.  His face curled into itself in a snarl and his hands came up in what first appeared to be blocking her, but quickly switched to pushing.  Katelyn took the full force of his slamming hands on her shoulders and didn’t have time to get her footing.  She fell back full on the floor and sat in shock.

  The kids screamed.

  She stared out in front of her until the screams sunk into a momentary shield around her brain.  He hit me.  My dad hit me.  She turned her head from side to side and froze on the pain-filled face of Sierra in the hallway.  Sierra looked down on her from her hiding place around the corner.  She didn’t look away as Katelyn held her gaze.

  Movement caught her eye and she turned to see her dad leaving quickly through the kitchen.  She heard the door open and then the storm door slam behind him.  The glass rattled in its frame.  

  Katelyn picked herself off the floor and turned to the hallway, but Sierra was already gone and Brianna’s door shut tightly against her.  Colton pulled away from the wall and slid down to squat in front of Kayla.  “Don’t cry.”  He used a gentle voice Katelyn had never heard from him before.  He sounded like a school nurse after a playground scrape.  “It’s okay now.  Don’t cry.”

  Katelyn followed her nephew’s lead and scooped Jacob off the floor.  “Shhh.  It’s okay.  Shhh.”  She looked out the window to see her dad’s stout frame marching down the street away from them and a mess spread out before her on the lawn.  “It’s okay now.  Everything will be alright.”  Katelyn went into the kitchen and shut the entry door against the cold.