Almost Home

by Macomber, Debbie; Duarte, Judy; Lamb, Cathy; Mary Carter

Dread settled over him like a concrete weight. He expelled his breath in a long, slow exercise while he sorted through his options—which, at the moment, seemed shockingly few.

  He couldn’t possibly marry Elaine now, not when he still loved Katie. Love! What the hell did he know of love anyway? Sixteen or so hours ago when he first arrived in San Francisco, he’d assumed he was in love with Elaine. He must love her, Jason reasoned, otherwise he’d never have asked her to be his wife. A man didn’t make that kind of offer unless he was ready, willing, and able to commit the rest of his life to a woman.

  Whether he loved or didn’t love Elaine wasn’t the most pressing point, however. He needed to decide what to do about the wedding. Really, there was only one choice. He couldn’t go through with it now. But canceling it at the last minute like this was unthinkable. Humiliating Elaine in front of her family and friends would be unforgivable.

  Elaine didn’t deserve this. She was a wonderful woman, and he genuinely cared for her. The wedding had been no small expense, either. Her father had a good twenty grand wrapped up in the dinner and reception. Jason had invested another five thousand of his own savings.

  He leaned against the sofa and tilted his head back to stare at the ceiling. It would be the height of stupidity to allow a few thousand dollars to direct the course of his life.

  By all that was right he should put an end to the wedding plans now and face the music with Elaine and her family before it was too late, no matter how unpleasant the task. Again, the thought of confronting his fiancée and her family, plus the dozens of relatives who’d traveled from all across the country, boggled his mind.

  Something was fundamentally wrong with him, Jason decided. He was actually considering going ahead and marrying Elaine because he felt guilty about embarrassing her and inconveniencing their families. First he needed a priest, then a psychiatrist, and that was only the tip of the iceberg.

  No clear course of action presented itself and so Jason took the easy way out. As painful and difficult as it was, he’d confess to her what had happened with Katie and then together, Elaine and he could decide what they should do.

  He showered, dressed, and still felt like he should be arrested. Actually, jail sounded preferable to facing his fiancée and her family. He’d deal with Elaine first and then find Katie. If his high school sweetheart, his teenage wife, thought she’d escaped him, she was wrong. As far as he was concerned it wasn’t even close to being over between them.

  With an hour to kill before meeting Elaine and her aunt and uncle, he drove the rental car around the streets of San Francisco, allowing his eyes to take in the beauty of the sights while his mind wrestled with the problems confronting him.

  He arrived outside Elaine’s family home at noon.

  Elaine stood on the porch and smiled when he parked the car. She was petite, slender, attractive, and as unlike Katie as any woman he’d ever met. His heart ached at the thought of hurting her.

  Jason remembered the day they’d met a year earlier. Elaine worked as a secretary in the office across the hall from him, efficient, hardworking, ambitious. She’d asked him out for their first date, a novelty as far as Jason was concerned, but then he appreciated a woman who knew what she wanted. It didn’t take her long to convince him they were good together.

  As time passed, he discovered that they shared the same goals. Her career was important to her and she’d advanced from being the secretary to the vice president to lower level management and was quickly making a name for herself. She’d surprised him when, two months before their June wedding, she’d decided to change jobs and had accepted a position with a rival shipping company. It seemed a lateral move to him, but her career was her business and Jason was content to let her make her own decisions.

  “Did you sleep well?” she asked, wrapping her arms around his neck and bouncing her lips over his.

  It was all Jason could do to keep from blurting everything out right then and there. He might have done exactly that if Elaine’s mother hadn’t stepped onto the porch just then. Helen Hopkins was an older version of Elaine, cultured and reserved.

  “It looks like the weather is going to be lovely for the wedding,” Helen announced, sounding pleased and excited. “It’s always a risk this time of year, and I want everything to be perfect.”

  Guilt squeezed its ugly fingers tightly around his throat. Elaine was the only daughter, and her parents had pulled out the stops when it came to her wedding. He wondered if it were possible for the Hopkinses to get a refund at this late date, and was fairly confident that would be impossible. It was too late for just about anything but biting the bullet.

  Elaine’s Aunt Betty and Uncle Jerome were both in their early eighties and spry, energetic souls. They greeted Jason like family…which he was about to become, or would have if he hadn’t run into Katie.

  “I’m pleased to make your acquaintance,” Jason said formally. He glanced toward Elaine, hoping to attract her attention. The sooner he explained matters to her, the better he’d feel. Or the worse, he wasn’t sure yet. It might just be easier to leap off a bridge and be done with it.

  “I thought we’d have lunch out on the patio,” Helen said, gesturing toward the French doors off the formal dining room.

  “What a lovely idea, Helen,” Betty said, leading the way outside. Her husband shuffled along behind her. A soft breeze rustled in the trees as Jason followed along. He could hear birds chirping joyously in the distance, but instead of finding their chatter amusing or entertaining, he wanted to shout at them to shut up. As soon as the thought flashed through his mind, he realized his nerves were about shot. He had to talk to Elaine, and soon, for both their sakes.

  “I need to talk to you,” he whispered urgently in Elaine’s ear. “Alone.”

  “Darling, whatever it is can wait, can’t it? At least until after lunch.”

  “No.” If she had any idea how difficult this was, she’d run screaming into the night. He was two steps away from doing so himself. The need to confess burned inside him.

  “In a minute, all right?” She flew past him and into the kitchen, leaving Jason to exchange chitchat with her vivacious aunt and uncle until she returned with a pitcher of iced tea.

  “What time did you say your brother was arriving?” Helen directed the question to Jason as she sat down at the round glass and wrought-iron table. A large multicolored umbrella shaded the area, although the sky had turned gray and overcast. Jason’s mood matched the gathering clouds. He felt as if he were standing under a huge cumulus, waiting for lightning to strike.

  “Steve and Lisa should be here sometime around two,” he answered when he realized everyone was waiting for his response.

  “He had to be here to organize the bachelor party,” Elaine explained.

  “Naturally, Rich and Bob will help out. You met them last night, didn’t you?” Helen passed the hard rolls to Jason and he nodded. He wasn’t likely to forget Elaine’s brothers. He’d been with Rich and Bob when he’d first seen Katie.

  “They got him so drunk, Jason decided to make an early night of it, remember?” The salad bowl went from mother to daughter.

  Jason was about to explain that the lone beer wasn’t responsible for his “early night,” then thought better of it.

  “Don’t pick on your fiancé,” Betty advised Elaine, winking at Jason.

  “At least not before the ceremony,” Jerome added, chuckling.

  Helen spread the linen napkin across her lap. “You can’t imagine what our morning’s been like, Jason. Elaine and I were up at the crack of dawn, running from one end of town to another. It’s been a madhouse around here.”

  “I can’t believe you slept half the morning away. That’s not like you.” Elaine dug into her shrimp-filled Caesar salad with a hearty appetite.

  “I…I had trouble falling asleep,” he muttered, certain her entire family knew exactly what he’d been doing.

  Elaine gifted him with a soft, trusting smile. Not once since t
hey’d decided to marry had she expressed doubts or voiced second thoughts. If she was experiencing any such notion now, it didn’t show.

  “Just think,” Betty said, glancing fondly at her niece. “At three o’clock this time tomorrow, you’ll be a married woman.”

  Married. Jason broke out in a cold sweat.

  Elaine reached across the table and squeezed his hand. “I’m the luckiest woman in the world to be marrying Jason.”

  He actually thought he was going to be sick.

  “Isn’t love grand?” Betty murmured, and dabbed at the corner of her eye with her napkin.

  By the sheer force of his will, Jason managed to make it through the rest of the meal without anyone noticing something was amiss, although he considered it nothing short of a miracle. He never had been much good at subterfuge.

  He managed to answer Jerome’s questions about the shipping business and make polite small talk with the women. Elaine glanced at him curiously a couple of times, but said nothing that led him to believe she’d guessed his true feelings.

  “I want to steal Elaine away for a few minutes,” he insisted when they’d finished with their salads. He stood and held his hand out to her.

  “I keep telling him he’ll have me for a lifetime after tomorrow, but he refuses to listen,” Elaine joked.

  Helen glanced at her watch and Jason knew what she was thinking. Steve and Lisa’s flight was due to land in little more than an hour and he was a good forty minutes away from the airport.

  “Ten minutes is all I’ll need,” he assured Elaine’s mother.

  “Take him out into the garden,” Helen suggested indulgently.

  Jason wanted to kiss his future mother-in-law. The more private the area the better. Elaine was known to have a hot temper at times and he was sure she’d explode. Not that he blamed her. Heaven almighty, what a mess he’d made of this.

  The garden was little more than two rows of flowering rosebushes in the back side of the property. A huge weeping willow dominated the backyard. Elaine swung her arms like a carefree child as they strolled toward the cover of the sprawling limbs of the willow.

  “I know you, Jason Ingram. You want me alone so you can have your way with me.” Before he could stop her, she wound her arms around his neck and planted a wide, open-mouthed kiss across his lips.

  “Elaine, please,” he said, having trouble freeing himself from her embrace. She was making this impossible. The woman was like an octopus, wrapping her tentacles around him, refusing to let him go.

  “Loosen up, sweetheart.”

  “There’s something I need to tell you.”

  “Then for the love of heaven, say it,” she replied impatiently. She leaned against the tree trunk and waited.

  Jason’s heart ached. He found it difficult to meet her gaze so he stared at the ground, praying for wisdom. “Before we go ahead with the wedding, there’s something you should know about me.”

  “This sounds serious.”

  She hadn’t a clue how serious.

  This wasn’t easy, and he suspected the best place to start was in the beginning. “You know that I was born and raised in Spokane.”

  “Of course.”

  “At the end of my junior year of high school…”

  “Are you about to tell me you had a skirmish with the law and I’m marrying a convicted felon?”

  “No,” he snapped, thinking that might be preferable to what he actually was about to tell her. “Just listen, Elaine, please.”

  “Sorry.” She placed her finger across her lips, promising silence.

  “I started dating a girl named Katie, and we were deeply in love.”

  “You got that sweet young girl pregnant, didn’t you? Jason Ingram, you’re nothing but a little devil.”

  “Elaine,” he snapped, growing impatient. “Katie and I never. We didn’t…No.”

  “Sorry.” She squared her shoulders and gave him her full attention.

  “As I said, Katie and I were deeply in love.” He could tell that Elaine was tempted to say something more, but he silenced her with a look. “For whatever reasons, her family didn’t approve of me. Nor did they think we were old enough to be so serious.” He glanced her way and found he had her full attention. “Her parents had plans for Katie and they didn’t include a husband.”

  “I should hope not,” Elaine said stiffly.

  “But Katie and I vowed that we wouldn’t let anything or anyone keep us apart.” He experienced the same intensity of emotion now as he had all those years ago. “When we learned that her family intended to separate us, we did the only thing we could think of that would keep us together.” He sucked in a deep breath and watched Elaine’s eyes as he said the words. “We married.”

  “Married.” She spit out the word as if it were a hair in her food. “That’s a fine thing to tell me at this late date.”

  “I know…I know.” Jason couldn’t blame her for being angry.

  “Jason Ingram, if you tell me that you’ve got a wife you never bothered to divorce, I swear I’ll shoot you.” Her eyes flashed fire, singeing him.

  “We didn’t need to bother with a divorce,” he told her quietly, sadly. “The marriage was annulled.”

  “Oh, thank heaven,” Elaine murmured, planting her hand over her heart, her relief evident.

  This was where it got difficult. Really difficult. Now was the time to mention how, through no one’s fault, he’d run into Katie right here in San Francisco. Now was the time to explain how, when they saw each other again for the first time in ten years, they realized how much they still loved each other. Now was the time to explain how one thing led to another and before either of them was fully aware of what they were doing they ended up in bed together.

  Now was the time to shut up before he ruined his entire life.

  “Is there a reason you never mentioned this other woman before?” Elaine asked, sounding suspiciously calm. “You asked me to marry you, Jason, and conveniently forgot to mention you’d been married before.”

  “It was a long time ago.” Canceling the wedding was as painful as anything in his life, including his own father’s death.

  “You should have told me.”

  He agreed completely. “I know.”

  “Well,” she said, doing that sighing thing once more, as if to suggest she’d been burdened but not overly. She could deal with this. “We all make mistakes. It’s understandable…I appreciate you letting me know now, but I must tell you I’m hurt that you kept this from me, Jason. I’m about to become your wife, but then,” she whispered, “we all have our secrets, don’t we?”

  It was now or never. Jason held his breath tight inside his chest. “I loved her. Really, truly loved her.”

  “Of course you did, but that was then and this is now.” She frowned, but seemed willing to forgive him.

  Now. He opened his mouth to tell her everything, but the words refused to come. His heart felt like it was about to burst straight through his chest.

  “Elaine.” Her mother called, and Elaine looked toward the house, seemingly eager to escape.

  “I’m not finished,” Jason said hurriedly, before she left and it was too late.

  “I’ll be right back.” She kissed his cheek and hurried toward her mother’s voice.

  Jason clenched both fists and squeezed his eyes closed as he sought a greater source for the courage to continue. Swearing under his breath, he started pacing, testing the words on his tongue. Elaine had a right to know what had happened. It was his duty to tell her.

  She returned breathless and agitated a couple of moments later. “Darling, it’s a problem with the caterer. We specifically ordered pickled asparagus tips for the canapés, and now they’re telling us the order came in without them.”

  “You’re worried about asparagus spears?” Jason couldn’t believe what he was hearing.

  “It’s important, darling. Mother’s on the phone with them now. Is there anything else, because this is important. I real
ly need to deal with this. Mother thinks we may have to run down and confront these people right here and now.”

  “Anything else?” Jason knew he was beginning to sound suspiciously like an echo. “No,” he said hurriedly, hating himself for the coward that he was.

  “Good.” She smiled broadly and then raced back to the house.

  Jason stayed outside several minutes, condemning himself. Thanks to the years he served as a Marine, his swearing vocabulary was extensive. He called himself every dirty name he could think of, then slumped down onto a bench.

  “Jason,” Helen shouted from the back door. “Don’t forget your brother.”

  “Right.” He made his way back to the house. “Where’s Elaine?”

  “She’s dealing with the problem with the caterer. It’s nothing for you to worry about.” She escorted him to the door. “We’ll see you at five, right?”

  “Five.”

  “The rehearsal at the church.”

  “Oh, right, the rehearsal.” Jason didn’t know how he would get through that, but he hadn’t given himself any option. As far as Elaine and her family were concerned, the wedding was still on.

  Chapter Five

  A headache pounded at Katie’s temple like a giant sledgehammer. Keeping her mind on track during this all-important meeting was almost impossible. She wanted to blame the wine, but she knew her discomfort had very little to do with the small amount of alcohol she’d consumed. Jase Ingram was the one responsible for her pain, in more ways than one.

  Katie lowered her head to read over the proposal on the table, but her thoughts were muddled and confused, refusing to focus on the matter at hand. Her mind and her heart were across town with Jase.

  “Katherine?”

  She heard her name twice before she realized she was being addressed.

  “I’m sorry,” she murmured, “what was the question?”

  “We were thinking of tabling the proposal until next week,” Roger supplied, frowning slightly.

  Katie didn’t blame him for being irritated. She’d been useless as a negotiator this morning. Her thoughts were a million miles away with the girl she’d once been. At eighteen life had seemed so uncomplicated. She loved Jase and he loved her and their being together was all that was important.