Almost Home

by Macomber, Debbie; Duarte, Judy; Lamb, Cathy; Mary Carter

  She might as well have kicked him in the balls. It was what he deserved.

  “Katie came up to my room afterward.” It demanded every ounce of fortitude he possessed to face her, but he owed her that much.

  “You don’t need to tell me anything more,” Elaine insisted tightly. “I already said I trust you.”

  She glared at him as if to will him to keep from telling her what she’d already guessed.

  “Your trust isn’t as well placed as you think.” He ran a hand down his face and found he was shaking with nerves and regret.

  “Jason,” she insisted in a voice wrapped in steel. “Would you kindly listen to me? This isn’t necessary.”

  “It is,” he insisted. This was by far the most difficult thing he’d had to do in his entire life. “Elaine,” he said, holding her with his eyes. “I wouldn’t hurt you for anything in the world.”

  “Fine, then let’s get back to the rehearsal. Everyone’s waiting.”

  He didn’t know why she was making this nearly impossible. “I need to tell you what happened between Katie and me.”

  “Must you really? Jason, please, this has gone far enough.”

  “Katie spent the…”

  “Jason, stop,” she snapped. “I don’t want to hear it.”

  “…night with me.”

  It felt as if all the oxygen had been sucked from the room. The silence between them throbbed like a living, breathing animal. Jason waited for her to respond. To shout, to scream, to slap him. Something. Anything.

  “I can’t tell you how sorry I am,” he murmured, his voice so hoarse with regret that he barely recognized it.

  “Well,” Elaine murmured tightly, “do you feel better now that you’ve bared your soul?”

  “Yes…”

  Her face tightened with a mild look of displeasure. “Do you have any other confessions you care to make?”

  “Ah…no.”

  Her shoulders swelled and sank with a sigh. “Well, that’s one thing to be grateful for.” She started back toward the sanctuary.

  “Elaine, where are you going?”

  She tossed him a look over her shoulder that suggested he should know the answer to that. “The rehearsal, where else?”

  “But doesn’t this change things? I mean…” He hesitated and lowered his voice. “I made love to another woman.”

  “Okay, so you had a momentary lapse. Your timing was incredibly bad, but other than that I’m willing to look past this indiscretion. Just don’t let it happen again.”

  Look past this indiscretion. She made it sound as if his night with Katie meant nothing, as if he’d used the wrong fork at a formal dinner. A minor faux pas.

  She turned back to face him. “You aren’t thinking of doing something really stupid, are you?”

  “I thought…I assumed…”

  “You thought I’d want to cancel the wedding?” She made the very idea sound ludicrous.

  “Yes.” That was exactly what he’d assumed would happen. He wouldn’t blame her if she did decide she wanted out of the marriage. Forgiving him was one thing, but the ramifications of what he’d done went far beyond the obvious. He’d betrayed her faith in him, destroyed her ability to trust him ever again. Surely she understood that. His sleeping with Katie should have told them both something important. He wasn’t ready for marriage.

  “We’re not calling off this wedding just because you couldn’t keep your zipper closed.”

  “But…”

  “Don’t think I’m pleased about this, because I’m not. I’m furious and I have every right to be.”

  “I know…”

  “What you did was despicable.”

  “I couldn’t agree with you more.”

  “And it won’t happen again.”

  “I still think we should…”

  “Then I don’t see what the big deal is,” she said, cutting him off. “I’m willing to overlook this one incident. I have to say I’m disappointed; I never thought I’d have this sort of problem with you.”

  He gave her credit—she handled the news far better than if the tables had been turned. “Then you want to go ahead with the wedding?”

  “Of course.” She laughed, the sound grating and unnatural. “Of course, we’ll still be married. After all the trouble and expense? You’re joking, aren’t you? I wouldn’t dream of calling it off.”

  “Elaine…”

  “But I want it understood that I won’t tolerate this kind of behavior again.”

  “I wouldn’t think…”

  “Good. Now let’s get back to the others before someone thinks there’s something wrong.” Without another word, she marched back into the sanctuary.

  Rarely had Katie spent a more miserable evening. She enjoyed Wanda and Larry. Liked them. Envied them. Their love for each other was evident, even after fifteen years of togetherness, three children, a mortgage, and all the rest. Being with the couple, listening to them laugh with one another, made it all the more difficult to return to her own home, alone.

  That was the crux of it, Katie realized. She was alone when she so desperately wanted the deeply committed relationship the Andersons shared. She longed for a husband, a family. It shouldn’t be so much to ask. Nor should it be so difficult. Every man she’d met in the last ten years had fallen short of what she wanted in a husband. After seeing Jase again she understood why. She’d never stopped loving him. He was her heart. Her soul.

  Mentally saying his name was like peeling back a fresh scab. The pain rippled down her spine. Within a matter of hours he would be forever lost to her.

  “You’re still not feeling well, are you?” Roger whispered. He’d been attentive all evening, and she knew why. When it came time to drop her off, he was going to bring out a dazzling diamond ring and ask her to marry him.

  As tempting as the offer was, she couldn’t. Roger was her friend. He’d never hurt her, never desert her or leave her emotionally bankrupt the way Jase had. Roger was kind and generous. But to marry him would be cheating this wonderful man out of the kind of wife he deserved.

  Katie didn’t love him. She was fond of him, cared about him, but she didn’t love him. Not the way a wife should love her husband.

  “I’m feeling much better,” she assured him.

  “More champagne?” He replenished her glass without waiting for her answer. He seemed to think a couple of drinks would fix whatever troubled her.

  “You know that we met in this very restaurant, don’t you?” Larry’s gaze slid away from his wife’s long enough to glance in Katie’s direction.

  “That’s what Roger said.”

  Larry waved a breadstick in Roger’s direction. “He was here, too.”

  “So I heard. In fact,” Katie said, smiling, “he accepts full credit for getting the two of you together.”

  “No way.” Larry chuckled.

  “As I recall,” Roger muttered, setting aside the goblet, “I had first dibs on Wanda.”

  “You make me sound like a piece of meat.” Wanda pretended to be outraged, but she didn’t fool anyone.

  “You were such a cute little thing,” Larry teased, and added pointedly, “then.”

  The other woman glared at her husband and then laughed. “You try keeping your hourglass figure after three children, fellow.”

  Larry stood and undulated his hips a couple of times. “I managed just fine, thank you.”

  Katie couldn’t keep from laughing. Roger’s gaze captured hers and he reached for her hand, squeezing it gently. He was a handsome man, not the old fart Jase claimed. At forty-three Roger’s hair was just beginning to show streaks of silver, giving him a distinguished air. While he did tend to maintain a businesslike attitude, she wouldn’t call him pompous.

  “Here’s to another fifteen equally happy years,” Roger said, toasting his friends.

  “Hear, hear,” Larry agreed.

  Their dinners arrived and soon after they’d eaten, Roger made their excuses, surprising Katie.
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  After hugs and congratulations, Roger and Katie left the restaurant. She’d worked all day to keep the memories of Jase and the woman who would soon be his bride at bay. Her efforts had worked fairly well until that evening with Larry and Wanda.

  For ten long years, Jase had been lost to her. Then life had played a cruel joke and sent him back for one all-too-brief interlude just so she’d know what she’d missed. One night of memories was all she would have to hold on to through the years.

  “Thank you for a wonderful evening,” she said as she looped her arm in Roger’s. He led the way outside and paid the valet, who delivered his BMW.

  “I was hoping you’d invite me up for coffee,” he said as they neared her condominium.

  “Not tonight.”

  Although she knew he was disappointed, he didn’t let it show. He pulled into the crescent-shaped driveway outside her building and kissed her on the forehead. A touching, sweet gesture of affection. “Sleep well, my love.”

  “Thanks for everything,” she whispered and slid out of the car. She waved when he pulled away and then greeted the friendly doorman as she entered the lobby.

  By the time Katie stepped into the elevator, unexpected tears had filled her eyes. Silly, unexplainable tears. She wasn’t sure whom she wept for. Jase. Roger. Or herself.

  Wiping the moisture from her cheek, she decided she was a mature woman, long past the days of crying over might-have-beens.

  She’d fallen in love with Jase far too early in her life, and found him again far too late. Her parents had taught her years ago that life was rarely fair.

  She let herself inside her condo and walked over to the large picture window that revealed the bright lights of the city. Her gaze wandered to the twentieth-floor tower of the St. Regis Hotel.

  Hugging one arm around her stomach, she pressed her fingertips to her lips. Fresh tears filled her eyes as she stood and looked at the bright, glittering lights of the city. Once more her gaze returned to the St. Regis and Jase. Closing her eyes, she smiled and blew him a kiss, sending him her love.

  Chapter Seven

  “You’re going to go through with the wedding then?” Steve asked Jason in the hallway outside his suite. It was well past midnight and he was scheduled to pick up his tuxedo first thing in the morning.

  Elaine’s brothers seemed disappointed that he’d cut his bachelor party short, but he wasn’t in the mood to celebrate. He’d let the others have their fun, but hadn’t participated much himself.

  “That’s what Elaine wants,” Jason said, and slipped the plastic key into the hotel door.

  “I can’t believe you told her. You’re a braver man than I am.”

  “I didn’t have any choice.”

  “Sure you did. There are some things in life that are best left unsaid.”

  After the shock of Elaine’s reaction, he was almost willing to agree. Frankly, he was sick of the entire matter. “I’ll see you in the morning.”

  “You want me to pick you up?”

  “Sure.” He didn’t show much enthusiasm for a man who was about to be married.

  “’Night,” Steve said, hesitated, then added, “Jason, don’t do anything stupid, okay?”

  “Like what?” He resented the question.

  “Contact Katie.”

  “No way,” he said emphatically. “She was the one who ran out on me, remember?” As far as he was concerned, she’d done that one too many times. She had some gall, racing across the hotel lobby accusing him of abandoning her. No, he was finished with Katie Kern. He’d learned his lesson. Besides, she’d let him know the entire episode was a mistake and that she wanted him out of her life.

  Elaine was right. They’d both put this unfortunate episode behind them and build a meaningful marriage the way they’d planned all these months. Katie had her life and he had his. It was too late for them, far too late.

  Walking over to the picture window, Jason stared out over the lights of the city. He jerked his tie back and forth to loosen the knot. By this time tomorrow, he’d be on his honeymoon.

  Sitting down in the large, comfortable chair, his feet on the ottoman, he reached for the television remote. No sooner had he found a sports station than the phone rang. He glanced at his wrist and saw that it was almost one. Not the time most folks would make a phone call.

  “Hello.”

  Nothing. A wrong number or a crank call, he wasn’t sure which.

  “Hello,” he said again impatiently. He was in no mood to deal with a jokester.

  Then he knew. He wasn’t sure how or why he recognized that it was Katie, but he knew beyond a doubt that the person on the other end of the line was his one-time wife.

  His hand tightened around the receiver. “Katie?” He breathed her name into the mouthpiece. If he were smart he’d sever the connection now, but he couldn’t make himself do it. His heart beat with happy excitement. He’d wanted to talk to her all day, needed her to help him make sense of everything—and she’d walked away.

  “I shouldn’t have phoned.” Her voice was as fragile as mist on a moor. He heard the regret, the pain, the worry, knew her voice was an echo, a reflection of his own.

  Jason clicked off the television, closed his eyes, and leaned back in the chair. “I’m glad you did.”

  Neither spoke. Jason suspected it was because they were afraid of what the other would say. Or wouldn’t say.

  Try as he might he couldn’t push the memory of their night together from his mind. It had haunted him all day. Would stay with him the rest of his life.

  “I…I wanted you to know how sorry I am,” she whispered.

  “Yeah, well, that makes two of us.”

  “I don’t know how I could have let that happen.” Her voice was so low, Jason had to strain to hear her.

  “I’m not in the habit of that sort of behavior myself.” He felt obliged to reassure her of that.

  “Nor me.”

  That much he knew. “Why’d you run away from me this morning?” His day had been hell from the moment she’d raced out of the hotel.

  He could hear her soft intake of breath against the mouthpiece.

  “What made you say I’d abandoned you?” Jason asked. Her parting shot had burned against his mind all day.

  She ignored the questions. “Does she know?”

  He hesitated, then murmured, “Yeah, I told her.”

  “Oh, Jase, she must be so hurt. Hurting Elaine is what I regret the most. My heart aches for her. How…how’d she take it?”

  He wasn’t sure how to answer. Elaine had acted as if infidelity were no big deal. Certainly it wasn’t a problem as far as their wedding was concerned. She knew what had happened between him and Katie, but she didn’t want him to tell her.

  Because he had no answer to give Katie, he asked a question of his own. “Did you tell Daddy Warbucks?”

  “No.” A bit of defiance echoed in her husky voice. “I’m not sleeping with Roger if that’s what you’re asking.”

  It wasn’t. Then maybe it was.

  “I should go.” She was eager to end the conversation.

  “No.” There were matters that needed settling first. He wouldn’t let her break the connection when so many questions remained unanswered.

  “The only reason I called was to tell you how very sorry I was. And…”

  “And?” he coaxed.

  “To wish you and…”

  “Elaine.”

  “To wish you and Elaine every happiness.”

  Happiness was the last thing Jason felt. He was bone tired, weary to the very bottom of his soul. “Thanks.”

  He waited for her to disconnect the line. She didn’t. He couldn’t make himself do it. The telephone was the only contact he had with her. Would probably ever have.

  “Katie?”

  She didn’t answer right away. “I’m here.”

  He already knew that. Knew she wanted to maintain the contact with him as long as she could, the same way he wanted to keep hold o
f her.

  “She’s all right?”

  “She?”

  “Elaine.” Katie said the name quickly as though voicing it caused her pain. “If I learned you’d slept with another woman two days before our wedding, it would have killed me.”

  “She’s fine.” She’d been more upset with the caterers over the asparagus tips than she had been with what he’d done.

  “Good…I worried about it all day.”

  So had he, but for naught. Elaine simply hadn’t given a damn.

  “Why’d you run out on me?” He wasn’t going to let her off the hook so easily. His day had been hell and it had all started when she left him in a huff.

  “I…don’t know that I can tell you.”

  “Try.” He rubbed his hand down his face. “I need to know.”

  She took her own sweet time answering. “You called her Sweetheart.” He heard the hesitation and the pain. “You’d spent the night making love to me and…and then you called Elaine your sweetheart.”

  “I was taken off guard by her phone call. You have to admit, the situation was a bit awkward.”

  “I know all that. Really, Jase, it doesn’t make any difference now, does it? I suppose I was jealous, which is ridiculous in light of the circumstances.” She tried to laugh and failed, her voice trembling as she continued. “All at once I was eighteen all over again and I felt,” she said as she struggled to regain control of her emotions, “I felt so alone, facing an impossible situation, loving you, wanting you. Only this time it wasn’t my family that stood between us, it was life.”

  “You ran away from me ten years ago, too.”

  “I didn’t,” she cried. “I explained what happened.”

  “This morning,” he said, “I was that eighteen-year-old kid again, the same as you. I needed you to help make sense of what happened. Instead you walked out on me.”

  “All we seem to do is hurt each other.”

  He didn’t disagree with her.

  “Good-bye, Jase.”

  “Good-bye.” He was ready to end it now. He’d gotten the answer to his question.

  In the morning he’d be marrying Elaine.

  Katie slept fitfully all night and was up midmorning. Saturdays she generally did her shopping for the week and took care of any errands. This day would be no different, she decided. It wasn’t the end of the world just because Jase was marrying Elaine. No matter how much it felt like it.