Heartburn

by M. C. Cerny

“Well that’s a given.” Kristen popped back in tackling Damien as Taylor wrapped herself around Hunter. Six of my best friends, two happy couples and one semi-happy-only-kill-on-Mondays-couple. The former being something I definitely wanted for myself.

  “Come here you.” I called over to Lia who shyly moved into the room. This ordeal was proving to show me parts of myself and Lia that maybe I had taken for granted. Nothing was forever and even the tallest of trees in the forest had the potential to fall.

  “Dude if you’re going to start praying I might get struck by lightning in here.” Damien quipped and Kristen elbowed him.

  Hunter snorted, “I’ll take bets on that.”

  “Not praying, I’m just extremely grateful to have all of you in my life.”

  “Aw gawd, cue the water works.” Chase tossed his hand up dismissing me and I shrugged. Far be it for me to call out the biggest mush out of all of us, Chase Calloway always called me to hang out for a beer when he had to put an animal down. I never saw him cry, but the quite stoic way we would sit in the bar drinking a single beer told me how much those things affected him. We were all only human.

  “Hey, I can be comfortable in my masculinity.” We all laughed and even though my chest burned it felt good to be surrounded by friends like this, the hollow ache in my chest was filled by a woman I cared deeply about. I nudged Lia closer wondering how I make her feel better about this, whatever it was that kept holding her back from me.

  “Alright people, get off my floor. Visiting hours are over.” Mean nurse came back in ushering the group out.

  She pointed at Lia and I hugged her closer to me not wanting her to go. “Except her. She can stay. I like her.”

  Everyone filed out and I mouthed to the nurse, thank you. She winked back at me and closed the door behind everyone leaving us blissfully, and finally alone.

  29

  Lia

  The fire on the mountain scared the life out of me. Whit’s been home for over a week, but I can’t seem to leave his side even though I accused him on more than one occasion of smothering me. I know I can’t help doing it myself. I kept seeing the smoke and orange glow in my dreams and it woke me up more nights than I care to recall in a week’s span since he’s been back home recuperating. Whit seemed to catch on and didn’t force me to talk about it except when he pulled out his nebulizer and had to do his breathing exercises which helped clear his airways from the smoke inhalation. Those were the awkward times I tried to find something to occupy myself with. I couldn’t take watching him struggle for his next breath clearing out his airway wondering if breathing was truly getting easier for him like he promised me. I could only fold so much laundry or walk around the yard ignoring the truth of my feelings.

  “I’m going to grill up some chicken. You want a salad or something with it?” He called out back where I was currently sitting on the porch looking at the ridge of mountains. I would have made dinner but we quickly learned I was not the best in the kitchen and it gave him something to do.

  “Sure.” I said not taking my eye off the horizon. I took my phone out of my pocket and used the camera function to zoom in. Nothing except the glow of the setting sun piercing through trees. No fire and I heaved a deep breath or relief.

  My thoughts drifted to the last conversation I had with Ryder and his dumb friends. My gut kept clenching and I suspected they could have had something to do with the fire. I don’t have any proof. For all I knew, they could have been somewhere else entirely or it could have been a stupid accident, but one that nearly cost Whit his life. I couldn’t begin to imagine what life would be like without him in mine and my hands shook contemplating it.

  “You okay, babe?” Whit came outside with a tray of meat and sliced peppers, onions, and mushrooms he left on the grill tray.

  “Yeah, I’m fine.” I looked over the picture on my phone. Whit sat down and removed my phone placing it on a side table as he situated my legs over his lap.

  “You keep saying that, but I have a hard time believing you.” He prodded.

  “I keep thinking about it. I try not to, but then I see something like the sun setting tonight and the color is the same, and then I spiral right back to that day and I’m honestly freaked out by it.”

  Whit started to massage my calves pressing down on the tight muscles. I relaxed into the outdoor sofa. His touch wasn’t sexual or even playful. It’s reassuring and stable. I know what he’s trying to do and I’m trying my best to let him do it, but the comfort mixes with how I feel about him and I lose my mind bursting into completely irrational tears.

  “Hey, hey, come on now.” Whit shifted next to me pulling me closer and holding me against his chest. I’m angry. Hurt. Sad. Confused.

  “I’m sorry.” I murmured over and over again pushing him off me. “I think my period is starting.” I wiped the tears off my face and moved to stand.

  “Then all the more reason for me to hold you.” The gesture was sweet, but my personal space felt invaded.

  “You’re smothering me.”

  “Yeah, well I like you too much to let go. Are you feeling unwell?”

  “No.” Remembering that I don’t actually have my period I lie. “Yes. Awful. I think I should I lie down.” Anything to get Whit to give me an inch of space.

  “Okay, well let’s eat first and then go to bed.” He released me and put the food on the warmed grill. We ate quietly and cleaned up. I washed and he dried because it gave our idle hands something to do. Together we finished up in the kitchen and crawled into bed together.

  I murmured into the dark, “I’m sorry I freaked out before.” Whit snuggled closer to me leaning over me.

  “I’m sorry I gave you a reason to freak out.” He kissed me slow as if he was tasting me, memorizing me, cherishing me.

  His kisses were the stuff of girlish dreams you don’t realize you’ve fantasized about since before you knew what kissing was.

  “How awful do you feel, Amelia?” He rubbed against me and even though exhaustion was slowly winning, I wanted him. I would always want him, but tonight I felt too traumatized to go there.

  “My period.” I grumbled reminding him of my white lie.

  “Is it awful if I don’t care?” He whispered into my ear pulling my underwear down under the covers kicking them into the sheets.

  “I guess not.” I wrapped my arms around him. I don’t have it yet and perceptive as ever, he must know that. His knee widened my legs and he slipped between them kissing my neck and slowly penetrating my body. He made love to me slowly, only our hearts racing and us not quite out of breath because we’re pacing ourselves like a long run in the dark. It’s sweet, the opposite of most of our encounters, but equally as hot.

  “Amelia, I want you to come, come on baby, you’re soaking my cock.” He thrusted so slowly I felt myself release drenching him. He kept the slowest pace possible torturing my surrender sweetly out of me. As soon as I shuddered he moved faster building me back up. He jetted inside me, hovering over me propped on his elbows. His chest panted, hot heavy air that nearly suffocates. I felt the wheeze of his breath struggling to catch. I’m tearful and concerned, the lust long gone. I don’t know if he needed to prove something to me, himself, or to both of us, but my heart breaks all over again.

  “I don’t want to let you go.” I whispered to him, my hands reaching to touch him everywhere I can to make sure he’s real.

  “Then don’t. I’m not going anywhere you’re not.” He fell asleep right after, his body crushing mine into the bedding. I sweated from laying skin on skin. His temperature roasted us. I didn’t care if he smothered me while I stroked his back feeling the rise and fall of his heavy chest. I starred up at the ceiling wishing we could stay like this forever.

  30

  Whit

  Lia hasn’t left my house except to change clothes or grab books to study with, and that suits me just fine. Her anxiety shuts off best when she stays busy and I do my best to not be a burden to her. I’m slow moving and hav
e been milking up my old man complaints for everything I can, except with her.

  If anything, I’m the grin and bear it type, for both our sakes.

  “Babe, you okay?” I called toward the back of the house. I grimaced and waited for her to emerge from the bedroom. I shuffled closer taking in her wrap dress tied around her middle. The black dress has a purple floral pattern and her hair is curled in some wavy concoction that’s begging for my hands to get tangled in. They itch with my need for her that has little to do with my bandages and the remaining aches and pains. I don’t think there will be a time I don’t ever want her and that doesn’t scare me off the way it might have a year ago.

  Tonight was a special fundraiser for the park and nature preserve since several hundred acres are charred to the ground. Lia’s photography would debut as the center of the show. She doesn’t know it yet, but the photos from her camera have been printed and framed for tonight’s silent auction. She captured stunning shots of the ridge on fire and as helpless as I know she’s been feeling, these photos can’t be forgotten about on a digital file for the next decade.

  I’d also been working with Evan on leads for the fire. He was right that accelerant made the fire burn out of control. A certain set of twin idiots were the prime suspects, but we were drawing a blank on how to prove it. Turns out Ryder West had a solid alibi shagging a naïve little red head I wished he wasn’t. I’ve set my favorite hacker on him to see what he can do to make his life a little more troublesome through legal means.

  I watched my girl from the doorway. She’s glammed up and I remind myself all mine. “You ready to go?” She nodded and I lead her toward my jeep. We’ll have a nice dinner uninterrupted and possibly some hanky-panky if I’m lucky. I closed the distance between us, my hands pulling her face in and close to kiss her cool lips. “You look beautiful.”

  “Thanks.” She patted my chest. “You clean up nicely.”

  I straighten my jacket and tie. “Bet you didn’t think I even had a suit.”

  She snorted. “I admit I was a little concerned when the invitation read black tie affair.” This was the first time in a while she genuinely gave me a smile without prompting.

  “I don’t take out this bad boy and dust it off for just weddings and funerals, you know.” I quipped slicking back my hair. My hand followed running over my puffed up chest giving her a cheeky grin she was powerless to resist.

  “Less funny, Whit.” Grunting, she shook her head. That hint of a smile I badly needed crinkled her lips. I caught a delicate whiff of her perfume. Light. Airy. Violets maybe.

  “We’ll have to joke about this sometime. The guys keep bringing over marshmallows and I’m running out of places to hide them.”

  She scoffed rolling her eyes. I pulled up to the newly built nature center and park the car. I got out and opened her door giving her my arm. Lia hopped out but I didn’t let her pass.

  “Whit? We’ll be late.”

  “I’ll make it worth it.” I backed her into the jeep, the door open and reached for her knee pulling her leg up slowly. My fingers tapped up and down the inside of her leg, the skin super soft.

  “Ah, what are you doing?” Her lips pursed and she wetted the top and bottom with her little pink tongue teasing me. I planned on teasing her back. After tonight, she’d know for certain she was mine and I’d give her something worthwhile to come back to.

  “Shhh.” I shushed her kissing her slowly while my fingers found their way up the back of her thigh. The pads of my fingers grazed and my short nails scraped ever so lightly. I felt her body quiver and her legs threatened to buckle under the weight of lust. I danced my hand in a slow tango to the place between her thighs that begged for a starring role in this little show outside the gala as they awaited our arrival.

  “Please Whit.” Her mouth parted and her head angled to the side as if that might give her a measure of relief. The only relief my love would get would be what I permitted. I trailed a finger to her soaked center and played with her lips over the silky fabric of her panties.

  “I’m going to take these off and then I’m going to fuck you bare.” I spoke against her ear blowing on her skin.

  “I’ll be a mess the rest of the night.” Her hands gripped the sides of the opened door, but she didn’t do anything to stop me.

  I grinned against her cheek. “I’m counting on it.” I ripped the side of her panties shredding the fabric letting them slide down her leg like a surrendering white flag. I unzipped my dress pants and hiked her leg up over my hip. “You like this, baby?” I asked teasing her.

  “Yes, so much.” She crooned against me nearly sagging. The heat of her pussy almost scalded my cock and I pressed inside her in a slowly thrust until I was seated deep to the root.

  “How bad do you want it?” I moved a fraction, just enough to tease her fluttering walls.

  “So bad.” She bit her glossy lips. “Real bad.”

  “I’m gonna give it to you so bad.” I pulled back and thrust deep spanking her ass as I rode her in the dark parking lot. One hand held her leg up, the other reached for her hand to entwine my fingers with hers holding on to the top of the door.

  “I’m coming.” Her hips bucked. I cupped her butt cheek squeezing it hard as I spurted my seed inside her. We came together and for the first time since the fire I didn’t feel out of breath.

  Our heads bumped together and I kissed her mouth. She returned my kissed furiously grabbing the lapels of my jacket, fisting my tie.

  “I love you, Whittaker.” She sniffled tears and I helped her straighten her dress sans panties.

  “I know you do silly girl, as much as I love you.” I kissed her hair, her cheek, her lips like I couldn’t get enough of her.

  “Don’t you ever leave me like that again.” She held on so tight I wasn’t sure we’d get through this night like I planned.

  “I’m not leaving you. I’m not going anywhere, but you need to do something for me.” I cupped her cheeks and ran my hands over her body preparing her the news I was about to give.

  Her head cocked to the side curious. “What is it?”

  You’d think after a declaration of love I’d whisk her off back to the house for a longer stint of selfish debauchery, but no. I planned on sending her away. I had specific plans in place which include a little home remolding with Hunter’s help.

  “Tomorrow after the gala, you’re going with your class to Haiti for the humanitarian photography project.” I smiled to lessen the blow.

  “What? You’re making me leave?”

  “Not leave. Enjoy a trip doing something you love.” I needed her to do this. She said I was smothering her, but I didn’t want her to regret missing out because she thought I needed taking care of right now. I’d already cleared the trip with her parents as a surprise. Her mother was slowly warming up to me and I was determined to make the relationship bearable for Lia’s sake.

  “And then, what?”

  “When you get home, you come home to me. That’s it.”

  We enjoyed the gala and the additional surprise of her photos being shown. She signed the all of the sold copies and helped the Nature Trust raise enough money to break ground on replanting the deforested area. I’d say it was a win for all of us, excepted I hated the quiet of my own house with her gone.

  Epilogue

  Whit

  “Lia, babe, come here.” I listened for the sound of my girlfriend’s feet echoing on the hardwood floors. She’s stayed over every night since she returned from her trip to Haiti with her photography class. I wanted to think it was because she missed me and I liked it too much to see her go back to her apartment in town when I could have her here with me whenever I wanted. She took up half my bed and kept the sheets warm. It was selfish, but I didn’t care.

  I conjured ways to spend time together. Pick her up from class. Hang out with my friends. Learn to cook something besides take-out in my unused kitchen. Hike to places she can take photographs, and then sit on the porch rocking in
the matching chairs talking until we fall asleep holding hands.

  “What?” Her flip flops slapped against the floor as she made her way down the hall to the walk in closet I fixed up in the extra guest room. She hadn’t been in her except maybe a handful of times early one and not since Hunter and I started this project. I admitted there was a giddiness to finally unveiling it to her.

  “Come here!” I yelled again trying to get her attention. It was impossible to pull her away from a bright day with perfect sun exposure. Lia without her camera just didn’t happen anymore. It was an extension of her being.

  “Okay, Neanderthal, I’m here. What’s all the fuss?” She stood in the doorway, her hip against the sash panel and I wanted her. Her hair was piled up on her head in a messy bun and her tight leggings showing off her curves made me sweat. Shaking off the desire because something better was ahead of us, I clenched my fists before going for it.

  “Come. Here.” I pulled her into the dark room listening to her giggle as I shut the door. I pulled the cord above for the black light I finished installing this morning while she was photographing horses running through fields at a farm outside of town.

  “Whit, it’s like two in the afternoon.” She raised her arms up and over my shoulders playing with the hair on the back of my neck that needed to be trimmed.

  I huffed. She was a damn good distraction.

  “I know and I want to know what you think of this closet.”

  “For making out?” She queried. “A little afternoon delight.” She teased.

  I grunted. Sure, I’d make out with her anywhere, pretty sure I had already. “Amelia.” I groaned feeling her body wiggle against mine. This might have been a bad idea dragging her in here. Closed in spaces made me want to fuck her against the nearest wall.

  “Whit, I gotta say it’s not our usual thing, but if you want to play a game of seven minutes in heaven like the kids do, I’m sure we can ask someone younger what the rules are.” She provoked me twining her hands up and around my neck pulling me down for a kiss.