Becoming His

by Albany Walker

  We stand here for at least five minutes before he finally answers, “you aren’t taking anything from here, Little One. Anything you wanted has been ruined anyway. I need you to go sit in the car and wait for me. I won’t be long.” He pulls his phone from his pocket. “Michael, I need a full investigation, bring as many as you need. I’ll have a security team here within the hour.” When he realizes I’m still standing there, he barks, “GO!” I jump from his abrasive tone. I know he’s not angry with me, but it still stings. I turn and walk back to the car before I let my hurt feelings make matters worse.

  The SUV is hot from sitting in the sun. The windows are rolled up, and Masen has the keys. I leave my door open hoping to catch a breeze from the lake. I hear bits and pieces of orders issued from Masen as his men arrive. Sid and Michael arrive and are the only people to have gone inside; Masen is with them.

  When they return to the door, Masen wears a look of disgust as he walks to a black truck. Two male shifters exit. One could compete with Masen for mass but is much shorter. His head is shaved almost bald, and his face is set in a firm line, giving him a brutal appearance. He nods his head to Masen in respect before they grab hands. The other man is average height, average build, average everything. He’s the kind of man that you probably wouldn’t look at twice. He gives Masen the same nod before looking directly at me. His dark eyes are keen and intelligent, and I know he’s not one who should be overlooked.

  They talk for ten more minutes before disappearring into my condo. My bladder is screaming five minutes after that. I’ll give him two more minutes, then I have to pee. I exit the SUV after ten minutes and walk briskly to the door. Six to eight males all look at me, but no one stops me from entering.

  The smell is overwhelming; I gag the second I cross the threshold. I can hear deep tones, but no words break through until I’m near my bedroom.

  “At least two but possibly as many as four. I’ll have to run some tests before I can be sure. What I can tell you, which I’m sure you already know, it’s all male. I can’t however tell you why. I’ve never seen anything like this. Just speculating, but I’d guess they’re rouges. The same she had a run in with. From what I see here, thank God she fought them.” The revulsion in his voice makes it harsh.

  “How could they have gotten in and done this without anyone knowing?” Michael asks.

  “The bedroom door was closed when I entered, so the smell was off but not this. I knew something was wrong immediately. They had lined the bottom of the door with towels, so the room held the stench back. They must have left through the window. It’s not visible from the parking lot. They might have watched the patrols to figure out when was the best time to come in, or maybe they’re just crazy lucky fuckers. I don’t care. I just want them found and brought to me,” Masen seethes.

  I still have no idea what’s causing the reek coming from my bedroom. He’s not going to be happy I came in, but I had to pee. Now, I need to know what’s happening. I try to clear my throat and end up gagging again. I think I might throw up. “Oh God,” I moan, “Masen?”

  He rushes out of the bedroom; seeing my distress, his face softens. “You can’t be in here, Baby. I told you to wait in the car for me, yeah?” He says gently.

  “I had to go to the bathroom. What is that smell? I think I’m gonna be sick.” I place one hand over my belly and the other over my mouth. My stomach starts to revolt, threatening to bring up my coffee. Masen races me out the front door, where I heave in the bushes. He rubs my back and holds my hair as my tummy plays e-vac. When I finally stop, he wipes my face with a cool cloth that someone must have given him. I shudder through another round of nausea, then rinse my mouth before speaking.

  “What the hell was that?” I ask and see Masen and the four other men watching me with sympathy.

  “You okay, Little One?” He asks me kindly.

  “No, I’m not okay! What the hell is going on in there?”

  “It’s nothing for you to worry about. Are you ready to go shopping? We still have a lot to get done today.”

  “Are you kidding me? Are you really going to try and act like nothing’s happening, Masen? That’s my house! I want to know what the hell is going on here.”

  He shakes his head. “NO!”

  “No?” I’m incredulous.

  “No! I told you not need to worry about this shit.” He’s getting pissed.

  “How could I not be worried? I don’t even understand what’s happening,” I cry out.

  Masen grabs my chin and looks right in my face. “You want to know what they did?” He chafes and squeezes harder. “They marked your whole room up. They fucking jacked off in your room and left their seed everywhere!” He explodes right in my face. I whine from the pressure of his fingers and the severe way he’s speaking to me. I close my eyes close to tears. He releases my chin, and I instantly turn my back to him and walk away.

  “Michael, I’m really not feeling well. Would you please take me hom...to, could I maybe visit with Nicole? If she’s not busy or Sniffer.”

  “Beta,” the demand for obedience rings clear, “you may take my Mate, your Luna, to our home. Do not leave until I arrive. If she wishes to have guests, they will come to her! Do you understand?” My head falls. How can he treat me like I’ve done something wrong?

  “Yes...Alpha,” Michael grates. I wait for him to lead. I don’t see the truck from the other day, so I’m not sure where he’s parked.

  Michael opens my door, and I get in without a word or backward glance at Masen. I know he’s upset but was that really necessary.

  Regret beats at me; I know it’s his. Feeling it lessens the hurt, but he still lashed out at me out of anger. I’m sorry, Baby. I hear in my head, making me gasp right before we pull out of the lot. It’s not okay. I won’t pretend it is, but I do get a small thrill, knowing I heard his thoughts for the first time.

  When we return to the house, Michael asks if I’d like to call Nicole to come for a visit. I decline. She doesn’t need to run here because I’ve had a bad morning. “I think I’ll just hang out, maybe read a bit. I’ve got some laundry to do. Why don’t you go on home? I’m sorry we pulled you away this morning.”

  “I need to stay, Luna.”

  I nod my head. “You’re right, sorry. Can I get you anything?” He shakes his head no. I go to Masen’s room tempted to look for another laundry room in the giant house. I don’t really feel like hanging out in that closet right now.

  I hadn’t let myself think about what was done to my house, but now, I can’t seem to stop. I don’t understand why they would do something like that, especially in a group. A trickle of fear runs down my spine when I think about not getting away. Have they done this to others? I know I won’t be returning to school until they are caught. This seems so trivial considering I don’t know if they hurt somebody else.

  I’ve finished two loads of laundry and distracted myself with a book when I decide I need some food and to make a list of what I’ll need. When I enter the kitchen, I don’t see Michael so I scan the fridge and freezer and grab a piece of paper to start a grocery list.

  I’m pulling a pan of homemade mac and cheese out of the oven when I hear a door close. “Hey Michael, I made some lunch if you’re hungry. Do you think I could run to the grocery store in a little bit?” When I turn, I see Masen standing in the doorway. I straighten my back, and my guard goes up. I’m not sure if I’ll be seeing my kind, bossy man or the Alpha.

  When moments pass and he doesn’t speak, I turn and continue writing my list. I know he hasn’t left the kitchen yet. I blank my mind and slowly erect a wall there. I have no idea if it’ll work. I hear him turn to leave, and my heart falls. I’m not sure what I was expecting from Masen, but his total indifference was not it.

  I leave my list and lunch and head outside to the front porch. I distract myself thinking about what I need. Clothes seem the most important. I only have a few bras and panties left. I know I need to use Masen’s computer or ask him to h
ave someone take me shopping. Online will probably be my best bet. I’m just not eager to face him. When I think about everything I have to replace, I experience a loss I wasn’t expecting. I know it’s just mostly clothes and shoes, but I had to live a long time in hand me downs or resale shop finds. It wasn’t until I was on my own I started to buy things for myself. I only splurged on a few things. Hell, I still hit the resale shops, sometimes, but it’s because I want to, not because it’s my only option.

  Everything just keeps piling up. I feel like I’m in crises or recovery mode, constantly. I just can’t seem to find my compass. I can’t understand how one minute I feel so protected; then the next, he’s who I need protection from. I need to stand back and look at things without my emotions clouding my judgement. The problem is I don’t know how.

  I’ve been outside for about fifteen minutes when Masen comes out. He must have showered. His hair is damp, and he wears only a pair of dark gray sweats low on his hips. My heart rate triples as he takes the seat across from me. I add another layer to my wall. He eyes me warily as he sits.

  “I was way of of line today. I’m sorry.”

  I hope I can do this without tears or yelling. “Masen, can you tell me exactly what you’re sorry for?”

  “Ah, erm...” I’ve surprised him. “I should have never put my hands on you in anger,” he says quietly. He’s ashamed. “I never should have yelled at you or spoken to you that way.”

  I sigh. “See, Masen, I think if you could have just answered my question all of that could have been avoided. Had you said we’ll talk about it later, I would have waited. Why didn’t you just tell me?”

  “I was handling it.”

  “Masen, it’s my house. It involves me. Don’t you think I have the right to know?”

  “I know it’s your old house. What difference does you knowing make? I was trying to protect you.” He’s getting agitated.

  “You’re right me knowing doesn’t make a difference, but I still wanted to know. I’m not a baby, and that’s exactly how you treated me. Do you know how embarrassing it was to have you yell at me like an errant child in front of your men. Even when I thought you rejected me, I didn’t scream at you. When you were a jerk about my virginity, I was still worried about how you felt, but you belittle me in front of all those people over something I couldn’t control or because I asked a question. Not to mention, how much it hurts me that you can even treat me like that.” My voice cracks, but I keep my composure.

  “How are you blocking me?” There’s an accusation along with that question.

  “My thoughts are my own,” I state firmly. At least, I know it works. What I really want to say is you don’t deserve my thoughts right now. I would rather he think I’m angry than know how hurt I really am.

  His elbows fall to his knees, and he drops his head into his hands, raking through his hair in frustration. “Look, I know I was a dick. I’m sorry, but whatever you’re doing, please stop it!”

  “Masen, we both have a lot to learn about each other. But, I’ll tell you now I’m not an agree to disagree person. Everything I’ve said to you is a valid point to me. Yet, you think your generalized apology and ignoring everything I said is enough? I may not always agree with you, but I promise to always not only listen to you but hear you. Then, we may agree to disagree but not when I know you haven’t heard a word I’ve said. I don’t think I can handle much more of this conversation without getting upset. If it’s okay with you, I’d like to be alone for a bit.” I want to cry and rip my own hair out.

  Masen’s fist slams onto the table. “No, it’s not okay. I feel hollow. I can’t even think clearly. Fix it!” His eyes plead with me.

  “Masen, I am not doing it to punish you. I’m doing it to protect myself!” I shout.

  His face crumples, white blue eyes sad. “From me,” he whispers.

  I’m breathing heavy. I close my eyes and take a few moments to calm myself. “Yes, from you. I don’t know how one wrong look, one wrong word from you, and I’m a wreck. This is not me. I feel weak. I just can’t seem to find my north.”

  His frown deepens. “Baby, I wanna be your north.”

  I shake my head sadly. “You can’t be my north when I never know what direction you’re headed.”

  He stands, rushes around the table, and snatches me from my chair. His big palm goes to the back of my head and holds me to his neck. My arms wrap over his shoulders and drape down his back while my legs dangle in front of his. “I’m sorry I reacted so badly, but I’m sorrier about how I’ve handled this. When I came home and you blocked me right away, I freaked.”

  It so hard not to comfort him, tell him everything is okay. I hate feeling like I’m disappointing him.

  He rounds the corner and takes us to his swing. “You don’t have anything to be embarrassed about, Little One. It’s me that is and should be embarrassed. After the way I’ve continually treated you, I don’t think Michael will ever respect me as your Mate.” I can hear the regret and shame clear in his voice.

  My resolve is crumbling as he cradles me to his chest. I lower my walls enough to send him reassuring thoughts but keep my emotion in. I’m here. We’ll be fine. His big body sags the tiniest bit when he hears me. “Masen, I know I’m overly sensitive when it comes to you. I’ll work on that, and I’d like it if you could talk to me more.” It comes out muffled from my face being mashed as he crushes me to him.

  He understands fine because he nods his head. “I will, Baby. I’m not used to being questioned. It’s not an excuse; it just is. But, I will do better.”

  I can feel his distress over everything that’s happened today. We are both exhausted, and it’s barely two o’clock. “Let’s go eat. You can tell me if you’re any closer to finding those creeps. Then, we can talk about fun stuff like shopping.” I say the last part dramatically, hoping to lighten the mood.

  The corner of his lip lifts. He stands still holding me and goes back inside to the kitchen. “I can walk, you know.”

  He grunts in acknowledgement. “Need you close.” He finally puts me down when we enter the kitchen. I make us each a plate while he gets us drinks.

  While we eat, Masen tells me they still have some testing to do, but he doesn’t think the rogues left any clues that will help us find them. He also says as of now, I probably shouldn’t go to school. In all honesty, it isn’t even that big of a deal for me anyway. Considering how much has happened in the past week taking a semester off of school is probably for the best.

  We’ve just finished lunch when I ask, “Masen, could I use your computer? I need to do some shopping online, and since I don’t have my iPad anymore, I don’t want to use my phone.”

  He looks at me skeptically. “You want to shop online?”

  “Somethings I need to get online, but I would like to go to a couple stores if you’re up for it, or I can ask Nicole if she’d like to go.”

  “If you’d like to invite Nicole that’s fine, but I need to be with you if you’re going out, Little One,” he says warmly.

  I’m actually kind of excited; I hope she can come. “Okay, well, can we go now, and then maybe tonight, I could use your computer?”

  He smiles kindly. “Whatever you want.”

  Using Masen’s phone, I quickly call Nicole, but unfortunately, she and Michael are out for the day. I let Masen know that they’re busy and grab my purse to head out. He leads us over to a low sleek car in gun metal gray. Before opening the driver’s side door for me, he asks, “you feel like driving?” I don’t know what kind of car it is, and I don’t bother looking. I know by the way it looks it’s fast, and as soon as I sit, I know it’s expensive. The black leather is soft and buttery. The interior resembles a cockpit. I’m not sure how Masen will fit, but surprisingly enough, he looks comfortable, not at all squished like I suspected.

  Masen starts the car with a push of a button, and a low purr fills the garage. Using the controls, I move my seat closer to reach the pedals. I look over the instrum
ent panel before shifting into reverse; the garage doors are already open as I slowly back out.

  I’m smiling so big my cheeks hurt. I’m flying down the two lane highway that will take us back to the mall in Marshall. I’m pleasantly surprised when Masen never tells me to slow down and seems confident in my abilities to handle his car. When I enter the town, I slow considerably. I’m lucky I didn’t get a ticket but damn that was fun.

  Entering the mall parking lot, I get a tiny bit nervous, I’m glad Masen is with me. I park on the opposite side of my previous trip, hoping to avoid the encounter entirely. Masen doesn’t remark one way or the other but exits the car so quickly that he’s opening my door for me before I retrieve my purse and his keys. He extends his hand and helps me from the car. Not letting my hand go, he tucks it into his elbow the way I’ve come very familiar with. I can tell he slows his stride so my short legs have a chance to keep up.

  “Where to?”

  When I look up to answer, I see him scanning the surrounding area. “Are you sure it’s okay we’re here?”

  He looks down to me with a small smile. “It’s fine, Baby. I don’t know if I’ll ever let you out of my sight again, but I can take you anywhere you need to go. I’ll always have a good excuse to be stuck to your side.” He places his free hand over mine and squeezes.

  “You don’t ever need an excuse. I love being near you.”

  Masen stops walking and embraces me fiercely. “I don’t know how I got so fucking lucky, but I’m so glad you found me. I’ll spend the rest of our lives making up for all my stupid shit behavior.” He kisses my neck where his mark lays, before dropping a sweet kiss to my lips. I marvel at the fact that this gorgeous protective man is all mine and hope that we can finally begin putting a life together.

  We enter the mall and a few people stare. Masen commands attention wherever he goes, but seeing him walking through a mall seems so surreal. It’s like watching a tiger prowl through the city. He doesn’t belong there, but it’s no less beautiful to see.