Forget Me Not

by Erica Pensini

  And then a bird sang.

  We laughed at this delicate intrusion, but although delicate the bird’s voice delivered a painful thought. It told me not to lose myself completely, not yet, to spare a part of me for myself and myself only, to learn who this man was one step at a time. But I know, I know! I protested silently, while detaching myself from Cesar.

  The lost look on his face as I took a step back from him, oh, that look is an image I will never forget! How much I wanted to melt again in the embrace I just tore myself away from!

  But I couldn’t.

  “We will meet again. Do you still have my contact information?”, I asked, and then, without waiting for his answer I wrote it down again on a paper I found in my bag.

  An old paper decorated with forget me not flowers, and that once belonged to a collection of greeting cards. I wondered how it happened to be there…

  Cesar’s gaze was veiled with melancholy, and I smiled encouragingly, although I was fighting myself with the sadness dwelling within me. Cesar took the card with automated gests, as if deprived of will. I nodded to brush away my own hesitation, then turned and walked away, before I lost my strength and will to do so.

  As I walked away I suddenly begun to hate the cold, and I shivered, my mind disheveled and my soul lonely in the white paths of the park.

  But why had I left? Perhaps out of fear for the intensity of my feelings, perhaps to test if Cesar loved me enough to seek me after I had gone?

  My lunatic mind eludes me, and it is perhaps because of this, to hush the confusion within me, that I pursue the endless quest of the laws of nature, its order, its unconfutable logic. So yes, where else should I have gone if not in the lab, my temple and consolation, to chase away the blues with a good dose of healthy work? There is plenty to do with my Iryssa Celata, as with all newborn babies!

  And yet what a bitter surprise I found in the lab instead of the sought peace of mind!

  I slipped in the lab silently as I usually do, and because of the seamless lightness of my steps Otto Hermes didn’t hear me coming. He was taking my samples from the fridge and transferring small amounts of them into test tubes, which he then stuffed into his lab coat with the undeniable intention of stealing my material.

  “What are you doing?”, I exclaimed, and Otto gasped, startled by my unexpected apparition

  “Oh hello…what do you mean?”, he mumbled

  “Well, I saw you take my samples”, I said flatly

  “Your samples?”, he replied laughing, regaining confidence

  “Yes, my samples. And there’s nothing to laugh at”, I insisted, my voice pitching up in angered notes

  “Hey hey…I’ve taken some of my own samples, what are you talking about?”, Otto pushed back

  “There are no samples belonging to you in that fridge”, I said

  “Are you sure?”, he said mockingly, brandishing a couple of bottles I had never seen before

  I was taken aback, because now I had no way of proving my argument, although you can be sure it was my sample he was taking. I am not easily fooled, because I know every detail of how my precious Iryssa Celata is stored and I would never confuse my bottles with somebody else’s bottles. This should be clear!

  “You are lying”, I retorted nonetheless

  “Look Iris, why would I take your samples? Perhaps you are just having a bad day, ehm?”, Otto said in a patronizing tone

  “Oh, at this point you can be sure I am having a bad day!”, I snapped

  “Right, you are. It happens. Why don’t we talk again in another moment?”, Otto continued, deliberately circumventing my anger, and walked past me before I could pronounce another word

  I was fuming with indignation, and for the whole afternoon I brooded on what had happened, and on how to prevent it from happening again, and on why Otto was stealing my material. After one tormented hour I took every sample I had and stuffed it in my bag. From now on I will keep all my samples in my fridge at home, even if I’ll risk poisoning myself! Of course there’s not much I can do about the fact that this plagiarizer has Iryssa Celata already, but at least if he wants more of it he has to be intelligent enough to synthesize it himself! I doubt he can though, that man is nothing but an idiotic loser.

  Now I am in my attic, wishing I could tell Cesar how I felt about leaving him behind in the park and…and perhaps even tell him about my misadventures in the lab, if he cares to listen to my complains. But, as usual, I am sitting here alone wondering if Cesar will ever look for me again…no, no, I know he will! I know it with the blood in my veins, with my heart and irrational passion, I know that Cesar will forget me not.

  Chapter 16: Cesar Mercury

  I woke up well before dawn, determined to find a solution to the intrusions of that scoundrel, Ricco Ermete, and to inform my Iryssa of his dishonourable manipulations. A carriage would been of great use to reach the smith’s shop in the briefest time possible, but of course at this hour looking for a carriage was as useless as trying to find a needle in a haystack.

  I thus walked hastily, and I would have run if that had not made me appear as a sinister fugitive, and finally I reached the smith’s shop. I knew he would not be at work so early, but his shop was connected to the humble abode where he lived, and I gave three loud knocks on the door to make sure he heard. For a while he did not open, and so I knocked again, tapping my feet impatiently on the frozen pavement. This time the smith came at the door, manifesting his presence with an angry grumble.

  “Who is it at this time? This is the smith’s shop, not an asylum for insane somnambulists!”, he spoke loudly

  “Sir, I apologize for awakening you at this early hour. This is Cesar Mercury, and my rooms have been broken into. I thus need your urgent help to prevent further intrusions”, I replied as humbly as my nature would allow me to

  The door opened. It was dark inside the shop and the smith’s face, unshaved and capped by flocks of hair disheveled by the night’s sleep, had a ghostly appearance behind the shivering flame of the candle.

  “I regret the accident sir, but you could have nonetheless waited till a more civil hour before knocking at my door”, the smith said, still irritated but starting to soften.

  “I apologize”, I repeated

  “Well, since I am awake I might as well get my day started”, the man said

  “I have to run some urgent errands, but I can leave you the address and the keys, and you could perhaps take care of this business for me”, I proposed, in a hurry to look for Iryssa

  “The keys? Didn’t you just say that your rooms were broken into?”, the smith objected with a bewildered expression

  “The scoundrel who breaks in the place picks the lock without breaking it, he comes and goes as he pleases as if he had the keys”, I explained

  The smith studied me oddly, as if pondering if I was not truly mad after all.

  “I need a new lock, a sturdy one, an unbreakable one”, I said, interrupting his unspoken thoughts, handing him a bagful of coins well more generous than needed.

  The smith took it, weighting the sum with a growingly perplexed expression.

  “You do not need to pay me the full amount now”, he replied

  “I much appreciate your honesty, and this is why I wish you to have the full amount now. But please build me the best lock you can make, and go to the address I gave you as soon as humanly possible”, insisted

  “Well sir, at your service. I will get dressed, because as you understand I was still in bed when you called on me, and I will begin working on your lock. I shall complete the task as early as noon”, the smith said, taking a step back to indicate that, as far as he was concerned, our deal was concluded

  “I will come back here to have the key”, I added

  “Oh yes, of course”, the smith said nodding

  I nodded back, thanked him and left with hasty steps, feeling the eyes of the smith observe me as I walked away

  It was still early for the apothecary shop to
be open, but I decided to head towards it and wait in a corner close-by, from where I could observe the door unseen and hopefully meet Iryssa there alone, without the presence of her uncle or, worse still, of Ricco Ermete.

  The circumstances happened to be on my side, somehow compensating me for the anguished turmoil of the previous days. I was not very far from the smith’s shop when I noticed a capped figure which, because of the supple graciousness of the movements, could only belong to a young woman. I wondered what a girl could do alone at this hour of the day, when a red lock of hair slipped out the vest’s hat. My heart began racing and I hastened my steps, wishing to see the girl’s traits with clarity before she took a turn or stepped in any door. As I did so Iryssa perceived my presence and turned, gasping with surprise when her eyes met mine.

  “Ah!”, she exclaimed, and was probably about to add something when I interrupted her

  “I was looking for you, I had in mind to come look for you at the apothecary shop…”, I began, before Iryssa interrupted my sentence

  “At this hour?!”, she asked stunned

  “Yes, yes, because I what I need to tell you is of the greatest importance”, I explained

  Iryssa rounded her eyes and arched her brows in surprise

  “Yes, of the greatest importance. The reason for which I am here is that I just called the smith to have him change the lock on my laboratory’s door and place on it the strongest one he can make. I will proceed to explain the cause for such extreme measures and my haste in obtaining a replacement for my lock, but I would wish to ask first…”, I was saying

  “Why I am here”, Iryssa concluded for me

  “Yes, why you are here, if I may ask”, I confirmed, almost startled by her boldness and intuition

  “I am here because one of our best clients has fallen sick and sent his servant to ask for the same remedy I had prepared for his wife in the past, since the medicine had cured her so well. After I prepared the drug my uncle was hesitant to send me out with the dark. However he himself is ill, and I refused to let him get out of bed. So here I am, and here you are, hopefully satisfied with my explanation”, Iryssa concluded with a mocking smile painted on her face

  “Certainly, I…I am certainly glad I found you, and perhaps I can walk with you awhile?”, I proposed shyly

  “If you have the time to walk all the way to the shop I will prepare one of my morning infuses for you, since I doubt you had any food or drink since you woke this morning”, Iryssa told me, her smile motherly now, with only the slightest fleck of mockery

  “Thank you, I would be delighted to”, I accepted, touched, once more, by the sharpness of her intuition, then added, almost abruptly, “As I was telling you I am changing the laboratory’s lock because Ricco Ermete broke in not once, but twice”

  “Ricco Ermete? Are you sure you are not mistaken about the person’s identity?”, Iryssa exclaimed, stopping short and facing me with an astounded expression

  “Unfortunately I am not mistaken Iryssa, since I even spoke to Ricco Ermete during both occasions”, I began

  Iryssa was about to interrupt me, but I raised my hand for her to listen

  “Let me explain. The first time I found him in my laboratory, and I asked irritably how he could enter my lab, and why he was there. He contended that the door was unlocked, and that he had entered supposing I was there. I felt some suspicion, but gave the man the benefit of the doubt. Yesterday I found the scoundrel in the laboratory again, and this time he got caught like a kid with his hands in the jam”, I said

  “Truly?”, Iryssa asked

  “Yes, his hands were full with my samples, and he had even stuffed samples in his pockets! How outrageous! Would you believe me if I told you that he insisted I was distorting his meaning and that his intention was not dishonorable as I thought?”, I raged

  “I am surprised by what I am hearing. I have known Ricco for about one year now, he is a fairly quiet man who never shared much about his life, but never gave me any reason to doubt about his honesty either”, Iryssa said, eyes lowered, almost talking to herself

  “I regret to give your grief, I know Ricco Ermete works with you and now you are finding yourself in an uncomfortable position”, I said apologetically

  “But you should beware of him, and may I suggest that you speak with your uncle because it is not safe for either of you to have that scoundrel around, let alone to work elbow to elbow with him”, I continued, my tone more confident now, determined as I was to protect Iryssa

  “I will ask Ricco to explain…”, Iryssa began

  “But of course he will deny the facts, and when he’ll know you are aware of his misconduct he might turn into a greater peril than he is now”, I objected

  “I might seem like a frail woman to you, but there is more strength in me than you expect”, Iryssa replied, her eyes looking straight into mine, with an almost defiant assurance

  “I trust you Iryssa, but remember how treacherous the man is!”, I insisted, not wanting to offend Iryssa’s pride and yet fearing for her

  “Every man and woman can be treacherous”, she said enigmatically, then seemed surprised at her own words, as if not she, but someone else, had spoken them

  I felt as if I had been hit by an unbearable blow, and I perceived a piercing pain that was almost physical.

  Iryssa saw the sadness of my wounded soul, and said, “Oh ignore what I just said, I myself don’t know what I meant…”, but as she spoke she appeared saddened herself by some sort of sudden realization

  “Why don’t we just head towards the shop for that warm morning infuse”, she then continued, her tone cheerful and oblivious of the pervious moment. I was confounded by the swift change, but nonetheless gladdened by the mirthful turn in the conversation.

  At last I was not able to receive my infuse though, because when we reached the shop Iryssa’s uncle was up from bed, grinding some herbs while still wearing his nightgown. We spotted his presence in the dimly lit shop from a distance, so Iryssa and I parted with the promise of seeing each other tomorrow.

  “Tomorrow I will have few guests for dinner. These men belong to the exiguous group of illuminated souls elated by science, and they would be honoured by your company if you accept to join”, I said

  “I will be enchanted”, she accepted, with an élan in her tone I did not expect

  “I will send a carriage for you”, I said

  “I have your address and I know my way”, she replied firmly, with a sweet smile painted on her blossom lips

  I opened my arms in surrender, and she giggled, for the first time since we had met, walking away as a carefree kid.

  Chapter 17: Iris Luna

  Indeed I was very much right, Cesar did not forget me! And today I spoke to him, and told him what was troubling my mind, as I had desired to do just a night ago, wondering when and if it I would see him again…

  I am running ahead of myself though, so let me tell you the facts in an orderly fashion. Although some of them confound me, I will do my best to describe to give you an understandable account of my day.

  I brought the bottles containing my Iryssa Celata from my fridge at home to the lab, where I spent the whole day working at a steady pace, trying to keep away the frustrating thoughts of what had occurred yesterday. I ran analyses indefatigably, driven by the tingling feeling that I was getting one step closer to unveiling the real nature of my creature, and by now I am almost sure I finally pinned down its structure! It is so beautiful and unique!

  When I felt my legs ache and my mind vacillate I interrupted my work, and decided to go to the library on my way back home. The previous times I had walked in it almost in spite of myself, animated by a disquieting anxiousness I could not explain, but today it was not so. In hindsight, I wonder if I somehow perceived what was waiting for me there…

  So, as I was telling you, I walked in the library in a feverish state, mostly joyful with just a note of darkness. I immediately headed towards the rare book collect
ion, and found the book, my book, without any hesitation. It opened on the last page where I had left it, as if remembering me, the way it always did.

  The name of Cesare Mercurio, which I have yet recalled, cannot go unmentioned here! This great man of science has been the first discoverer of one of the major properties of mercury cyanides, as revealed by the proof of fire and gold. Golden flames had never before been reaveal the nature of mercury cyanides, and only a mind as ingenious as that of Cesare Mercurio could envision the illuminating experiment we shall describe shortly.

  And yet, prior to the commencement of our description, we sadly linger on the thought of how light and dark, elation and tragedy can never part for too long in this gruesome world. Oh reader, does your intuition foresee some of the reasons for which the name of Cesare Mercurio was obscure to you before you read these pages? And can you imagine why, if ever his name brushed your gaze for a short moment, it did not appear to you as a memorable one? Oh reader, shall this belated recognition of the crime that lead to his obscurity be a small amend to the offense brought to this outstanding scientist! Cesare’s Mercurio discoveries have been unjustly stolen by a dishonest man, a fake scientist, a shame to the community of worthy chemists! The name of this traitor, do not forget, is

  “You are working yourself too hard, reading this ancient book at this late hour, after spending the whole day working in the laboratory, as I imagine you did”, I heard Cesar say, as he snapped the book closed with surprising swiftness

  “Cesar! But I was in the middle…”, I started saying, my joy in seeing Cesar as uncontainable as my curiosity for the sentence his arrival had truncated

  “I have a feeling that we left our previous encounter in mid-air”, Cesare said with a provoking smile, moving the book away from me and pressing on it with his elegantly elongated fingers

  I blushed, unable to reply

  “Have you ever been told that taking a good walk after a long day of work is a healthy choice?”, Cesare asked, the plain words spiced with a tone full of intention

  “I have, and I accept the invitation, if you were making one”, I replied, my tone at once flirtatious and appropriate