Purity

by Evangeline Anderson

  Have to find a way out of here. K slid off the table and tried to stand on shaky legs. The long black braid of her hair uncoiled from the base of her neck with the motion and slid over one shoulder. Silky ends brushed against the bare skin of her wounded thigh, making her wince. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d felt anything but her suit’s protective webbing in that area.

  From her first fitting at the age of nine cycles the skinsuit had never left K’s body. It grew with her, hardening into armor that kept her safe in battle and molding itself to the contours of her body to cradle her at night. It fed her nutrients through its needles and kept her hydrated even in the driest conditions. K looked longingly down at her forearms. A row of tiny white scars ran up the inside of each one, reminding her of her loss. Already she missed the comforting sting of her suit’s injections.

  Where is it? I’d have a lot better chance of getting out of here if I had it on. Yes, and the skinsuit would hide the stitches that marked her as possibly contaminated. No one would ever have to know…

  Immediately K was ashamed of her thoughts. If she had been contaminated by the touch of another she would have to be cleansed—a rigorous and painful process performed in the temple of Purity on the Purist home world of Athena. The priests of Purity—the Sage-kind—would execute the necessary ritual. Unless, of course, there had been prolonged contact in which case no cleansing was possible.

  K shivered and pushed the thought away. She looked at her thigh again. How much time had it taken to place that long row of orderly black stitches? Whose hand had done the deed? On Athena a medical mechanoid would have done the work but K didn’t think that was the case here. The stitches were neat but not completely uniform—there were tiny variations in the length and spacing that indicated a human touch. And it wasn’t just the stitches. Who had removed her suit? How much had they touched her to get it off? Can’t worry about that now. Have to find it and get out of here.

  Leaving the sturdiness of the exam table took more effort than K liked. Why was she so weak? Her head throbbed and the room spun around her, threatening to throw her down on the scuffed metal floor. More through force of will than anything else she managed to stay upright—barely. She stumbled a few short steps across the room and reached for the nearest set of metal cabinets, grimly determined to conduct her search. Yanking them open she found plenty of medical supplies—gauze pads, hemolysers, insti-coagulents—all wrapped in plasti-seal, but no suit. Swearing under her breath, K moved methodically to the next set of cupboards and found more of the same.

  She was shivering continuously now and not only from cold. Something was wrong—she needed her suit. They must have put it somewhere…it has to be here somewhere…

  “If you’re looking for your suit it isn’t here.”

  The deep voice behind her made K’s heart jump. She whirled around unsteadily and had to grab the nearest counter to stop from falling. She looked up…and up and up. The man standing in the doorway had to be almost three meters in height with the heavy musculature to match his massive frame. Spiky brown hair framed the light-on-white eyes of the Impure—his irises were a strange bluish-green color K had never seen before. But it wasn’t his eyes that worried her as much as his size. His shoulders were more than twice as broad as her own and his huge hands were balled into fists at his sides. There was only one thing he could be.

  A giant.

  Chapter Two

  Boone frowned as he took her in. Her long black braid swayed past her thighs and her lean, pale frame was more asexual than female, despite her delicate facial features. Aside from the strange black-on-black eyes, he found himself surprised all over again that she looked so ordinary without the damned suit that had covered her body in fibers as sticky as a spider’s web.

  Growing up, he’d heard horror stories about the Paladins, the elite warrior class of the Purists who inhabited Athena. How they were ruthless, emotionless killing machines, perfectly trained and completely unstoppable. And yet, without the suit, they were just like any of the other littles that inhabited the other planets in the Prometheus system. Or this one was, anyway. She was so slight that without her protective covering she reminded Boone of a hairless cat, one of the few species from Earth-that-was to thrive on his home planet.

  Of course, not many animals from the original home world had been able to withstand life on Colossus. It was a heavy G planet with gravity that was twice Earth normal, forcing those that chose it to adapt or die. Over the centuries since the original migration, his people had changed in order to live there. The inhabitants of Colossus were about thirty percent bigger than what was considered Earth normal, with the huge bone structure and heavy musculature that was necessary to survive in their demanding new environment. Boone was no exception and his size was nothing special on his home world. But from the way the Paladin’s black-on-black eyes widened, he wondered if he was the first giant she had ever seen.

  “I said it’s not here.” He lowered his voice, trying to make it a little softer and less threatening. She probably thought he was here to kill her—and with good reason. Her fellow Paladins had done considerable damage and shot several of Boone’s crew before they’d been able to take them out. The murdering bastards were all dead now—all but the pilot who had gotten away and this one, standing naked and shaky before him.

  “Where did you put it? Give it to me—now.” Her demanding tone was at odds with the way she was shivering.

  Boone smirked. “I don’t think you’re in any position to be making demands, darlin’.”

  “What have you done with it? And what did you do to me?” She nodded down at her inner right thigh and the row of black stitches it had taken him almost half an hour to place.

  Boone frowned. “Had to cut it off you in order to stitch you up. And that’s all I did,” he added, seeing the look on her face. “I’m a physician, not a damn pervert.”

  “You cut it? You cut my suit?” The expression on her face was neutral but the tone of her voice was the same as though he’d announced he’d had to amputate one of her arms for her own good.

  Boone took a step toward her, hands outstretched in what he hoped was a nonthreatening gesture. The table was still between them and he wanted to get closer in case she fell. “Take it easy, I didn’t destroy it—it’s just going to be out of commission for a little bit while it regenerates.”

  “Where is it?”

  “Some place safe. You’ll get it back later if you cooperate. Look, I had to cut it. You’d nicked your femoral artery and I had to get to it fast or you would have bled out.”

  “So you did this?” She nodded down at the stitches again. “Not a mechanoid?”

  He nodded. “Yeah, not my neatest work, I’ll admit, but you littles are so damn tiny and like I said, I was in a hurry.” Then her words sank in. “Where the hell would I find a mechanoid that could do such a delicate procedure?”

  “We have them.” Her voice was faint. “On Athena. The mechanoids there do everything.”

  “Must be nice.” Boone took another step toward her. “Now look, darlin’, you need to sit down. You’ve lost a lot of blood and—”

  “Stay back, don’t touch me!” She seemed to be keeping herself on a tight leash but Boone could see a thin ring of white all around the edges of her black-on-black eyes, betraying her panic. Well, so much for Paladins being emotionless. You’re scaring the shit out of her, Boone—great going.

  “Look, I’m not gonna hurt you,” he tried to reassure her. “But you’re pretty damn shaky and you need to sit down.”

  “Just tell me how long it took to put them in. How long were we in…in physical c-contact?” She seemed to be having a hard time getting the words out and not just because her teeth had started chattering.

  “What does it matter?” Boone took another step toward her.

  “Stay back!” She tried to back away and fell.

  * * * * *

  “Shit!” K heard him say. He ran to where she l
ay on the cold metal floor jittering like a broken thing, her muscles seizing and locking. Her stomach rolled and her eyes blurred. Her vision had narrowed down to a pinpoint.

  “Christ, what the hell is going on with you? Hang on.” His voice sounded concerned instead of angry but K didn’t care anymore—couldn’t care. She was too busy shaking herself apart.

  She heard him rummaging around in one of the cabinets and then something sharp stabbed her in her upper arm. The pain was unexpected but she locked her jaw against it, refusing to cry out. I fear nothing, I feel nothing. I fear nothing, I feel nothing. She chanted the Paladin’s code over and over in her head, trying to get control of her mutinous body. She guessed he must have given her a drug to stop whatever was happening to her but so far it wasn’t working.

  “Damn it, what the hell’s wrong?” she heard him muttering. “Those are the strongest anti-seizure meds I’ve got. They should have worked.”

  “What’s going on? What’s wrong with her?” The new voice in the room barely registered. Through her new tunnel vision K saw a pair of dainty white and gold boots, much smaller than the huge black clodhoppers the giant was wearing. They were just at eyelevel and right in front of her or she couldn’t have seen them at all.

  “She’s seizing. You didn’t tell me removing the suit would fuck her up this badly.”

  “I didn’t know. I’ve never seen this kind of reaction before. It’s almost like…”

  “Like what?”

  “No, that wouldn’t make any sense. Never mind, just get her up—on the table.”

  Huge hands bigger than K’s head reached out for her. Bare hands. And she was still as naked as the day she’d come from the artificial womb. No! She cried out weakly and tried to roll away but there was no place to go.

  “Hold still, I’m not gonna hurt you.” The giant’s voice was exasperated and oddly gentle, as though he was talking to a hurt animal which was basically what she had been reduced to. As his hands touched her bare flesh K felt as though every muscle in her body was contracting at once. Contaminated, her mind babbled. Purity help me, contaminated!

  But the strangest thing happened. Around her shoulders and back and under her knees where she could feel his hands and arms, the muscles began to unclench. Wherever he touched her the horrible seizing pain suddenly stopped. It didn’t matter though—K preferred the pain. Would rather have it a thousand times worse than it was now than to have his hands on her for even a micron.

  “Don’t touch me!” she gasped as the giant lifted her. “Don’t…contaminated.”

  “What the hell is she talking about?” the giant rumbled.

  “They don’t like to be touched without their suits. Or with them, come to that,” the second voice answered.

  “That must be why she kept asking if I’d touched her or not. Take it easy, darlin’. I’m putting you down.”

  K felt the cold metal of the table against her back again but then the second voice said, “Wait.”

  “What, Loki? I don’t have time for this. I need you to hold her while I try a different drug.”

  “You don’t need any other drug. Look—she’s getting better. She’s not jerking as much. See?”

  Two faces leaned over her. The giant’s and another that was much smaller. K couldn’t tell if it was male or female but the eyes were a brilliant green with gold rings around the outer edge of the irises. They were set in a sharp, cat-like face and surrounded by a halo of dark red hair. Both of them studied her intently and dispassionately as she struggled to keep hold of herself and remember her training. She had to be strong, had to survive. But Purity help me, he’s touching me. Then, mercifully, the giant’s hands were withdrawn, leaving her alone on the cold metal table.

  At once her muscles began contracting again and she thrashed helplessly, nearly falling off the narrow surface.

  “Shit! She’s at it again. Hold her while I get a shot of—”

  “No shots, Boone,” the one called Loki said. “Just touch her.”

  “What? You said she didn’t want to be touched,” the giant protested. “Besides what she needs is—”

  “What she needs is to be touched. Do it, now.”

  “May I remind you that I’m the physician here, Loki and you’re the fucking pilot,” the giant grumbled but then K felt his hands on her again, pressing down on her shoulders and knees to keep her from thrashing off the table and onto the floor.

  “No!” she gasped weakly. “No.” Despite her protests, she felt the pain easing where he touched. Her stomach was still tied in knots and her vision was blurred but she no longer felt like her body was turning itself inside out.

  K didn’t care. She wanted the pain back and his hands off.

  “You may be the Goddess damned physician, Boone, but I’m the one from Eros.” Loki sounded smug. “I know touch deprivation when I see it and she’s got the worst case I’ve ever seen.”

  “Touch deprivation? Thought only you Erians got that,” the giant, whose name was apparently Boone protested. “She’s a Purist.”

  “Purist or not, she’s got it all right. Got it bad. Look, she’s still having a hard time. It’ll be better if you take off your shirt and hold her.”

  “What?” Boone sounded shocked—almost as unwilling to touch her as K was to be touched.

  “Skin-to-skin contact is the only thing that eases it. You don’t do it, she could die.”

  “Why me though?” The hands left her for a minute and K heard a rustling sound. She turned her head to see a broad, muscular expanse of tan skin being revealed as Boone removed the dark red shirt he’d been wearing. Bare skin. More bare skin than she’d ever seen in her life. K felt like she was going to die. Wished she could die.

  The one called Loki shrugged—an effeminate, almost cat-like gesture. “You touched her first. She’s imprinted on you.”

  “Imprinted on me? Oh great—this just gets better and better.” But despite his protests, Boone scooped her up again. Before K could try to get away he was cradling her in his arms, her entire right side pressed against his bare chest.

  “No, please. Purity help me, please no.” Her voice was little more than a whisper and to her horror, she actually felt a lump in her throat. She hadn’t been subject to such strong emotions since before she had first been fitted for her skinsuit. Somehow she choked the unwanted feelings down and tried to make her voice dispassionate. “Let me go.”

  “Can’t, darlin’. Much as I hate to admit it, seems like Loki’s right about this. You do better when I’m touching you.” Boone peered down at her, his blue-green eyes filled with a mixture of irritation and concern. “Don’t worry that I’m getting off on it, though. I don’t want to be near you anymore than you want to be near me.”

  “Put me…put me down.” K struggled weakly against him. The wall of his chest was solid and warm and his scent was like nothing she had ever smelled—spicy and ineffably masculine somehow. It was very different from the bland smell of her own suit-cleaned skin. Vital. Alive. Bare. Contaminated. Contaminated beyond hope of cleansing. They’ll have to purge me. I should purge myself.

  The thought penetrated her brain with a finality that made her stop struggling and go limp. Her head dropped against Boone’s chest and she heard a slow, steady drumming in her ear. At first she couldn’t think what it was and then K realized it must be his heart. A random thought skittered across her brain. Never been close enough to anyone to hear their heartbeat.

  No, and she had never wanted to be either. The very thought of this much skin-to-skin contact was alien to her. Unthinkable. Deplorable. And yet it was happening and there was no way she could stop it. She, Commander K, who had always been so strong and in control of herself was suddenly too weak and sick to avoid contamination.

  A wave of self-loathing rolled over her and then she was disgusted with herself for feeling any emotion at all. But without the suit she couldn’t seem to help it—the feelings just came and there was no way to push them away. Anymor
e than she could push away the giant who was holding her.

  Gradually her disgust and horror faded and K just felt numb. The pain was completely gone but there was no hope for her now. The stitches in her thigh were nothing compared to this…this full body contact. She would have to die. She was already dead.

  * * * * *

  Boone was relieved when she finally stopped fighting him. “That’s good, darlin’,” he murmured, cradling her against his chest. “That’s right, just relax.”

  “Well she’s not much to look at, that’s for certain,” Loki sniffed. He was a full blooded Erian and very concerned with physical appearances.

  Boone made a noise in his throat. “Like you ever look at anything female. What would you know?”

  “I’m speaking from a purely aesthetic point of view. Look at her.” Loki gestured at the Paladin lying limp in Boone’s arms. “She’s completely flat—she looks like a little girl that somehow grew to massive proportions.”

  “Massive?” Boone snorted. “She’s tiny. Just because she’s not quite as itty-bitty as the rest of you littles doesn’t make her huge.”

  The girl struggled briefly, as though she might want to protest his statement but then settled down again.

  You want to sit down?” Loki asked him. “She’s all muscle, she must be heavy.”

  “Nah, I could hold her all day. She’s light as a feather.” Boone shifted slightly and looked down at her. “Do you want a blanket? You getting cold?”

  She started to shake her head and then apparently changed her mind. “Y-yes. I’d like a blanket.” She sounded as listless as she looked. Boone couldn’t believe he’d ever seen her as a threat.