Believed (My Misery Muse)

by Betzold, Brei

  I smiled. “The thing you haven’t asked me to make yet but will.”

  “Oh and what’s that?”

  “A new piece for Devi.”

  “Why would I ask you make me something for Devi?”

  “Because she’s going to want something with the twins names on it to wear.”

  “Crap, I forgot,” he moaned.

  “I know,” I said smirking at him.

  “What are you making for her?”

  “You asked me to make her a locket with the twins names etched in it,” I said winking at him.

  “Damn, I’m a good husband.”

  “I’m also going to make her a mother’s ring.”

  “I thought she didn’t want one until she was finished having babies?” Eli asked.

  “She didn’t,” I said quietly.

  “We’re done after the twins,” Seth said looking down at his food.

  “She’ll be fine,” I said nudging him under the table with my foot.

  “What’s wrong?” Sam asked eyeing both of Seth and I.

  “Nothing, it’s just that this is a harder pregnancy than she’s had before,” I answered. I knew neither Seth nor Devi wanted to really discuss what she’d found out at her last doctor’s appointment. In all honesty, I can understand why they wouldn’t want to, placenta previa this early could mean nothing. Getting everyone worried about it at this point made no sense. There was enough going on, Drake was still in a cast and wheelchair, Sam’s dad. I bit back a sigh. It seemed I was the holder of everyone else secrets lately.

  “Well she is carrying twins of course it’s harder,” Eli said.

  “Exactly,” I answered cheerfully, “add in that she’s already showing hasn’t helped.”

  “How was the show?” I asked trying to get everyone to a new topic.

  “It was good,” Eli answered, “the crowd was energetic which always helps.”

  “You coming to the next one?” X asked.

  “That’s the one at Red Rocks, right?”

  “Yep,” Eli answered.

  “Wouldn’t miss it, I’ve heard the natural acoustics are freaking amazing.”

  “They are,” Sam said smiling.

  Dinner was quickly finished and the guys cleaned up the galley while I was ordered to relax and pick a movie to watch. They had an impressive collection of movies, only I couldn’t find one I wanted to watch. I ran into the bunk room to grab my laptop where I found Ian.

  “You missed dinner,” I said trying to be nice.

  “Already ate.”

  “Oh well we’re going to watch a movie if you want to join us.” I sighed when he shrugged, I tried.

  I ran back into the lounge, opened my laptop, and quickly ordered the movie I wanted to watch from Amazon Instant Video, one of the best inventions ever. I hooked my laptop up to the flat screen and queued the movie up.

  “What are we watching?” X asked sitting down beside me with a bowl of popcorn.

  “Wait,” I said motioning at everyone else.

  He nodded and shoved a handful of popcorn into his mouth. I sat there and watched as he chewed with his mouth open, trying to figure out why hordes of women wanted him.

  “They don’t know him,” Seth said quietly while eyeing Xavier thinking the same thing I was.

  “That has to be it.”

  Once everyone was settled in, I hit play on one of my favorite movies, Abbott and Costello Meet the Mummy. All they guys turned and looked at me then shook their heads and turned to watch as the movie started.

  Sam

  I sat on the couch with a sleeping Jules’ head in my lap sifting my fingers through her hair. This was the second night in a row that this had happened. Last night I had told myself not to get too close. I ran my fingers down her cheek, her skin was so soft, and she looked so young when she was asleep.

  “You’re screwed,” X said quietly with a smug smile on his face.

  “There is nothing going on.”

  “No, but there will be.”

  “Can’t, I don’t want a relationship, don’t have time for a relationship.”

  “You know what I think is cute?” Seth asked.

  I looked up at him and found him smirking at me. “No, please do enlighten us, Yoda.”

  “That you actually think you have a choice in the matter.”

  I flipped them both off and laid my head back against the back of the couch. “You’re wrong,” I muttered running my fingers through Jules’ hair; I loved how silky it felt.

  The guys said their goodnights before heading off to their bunks. I stayed there with Jules, reading emails until I eventually fell asleep.

  I was jerked awake by something vibrating under my ass. I scrubbed a hand over my face and looked down. I groaned quietly when I saw Jules’ cheek tucked up against my very hard dick. Life sucked, she shifted slightly rubbing against my morning wood and it took everything in me not to moan. My phone started vibrating again causing Jules to move again this time nuzzling into my crotch. If she wasn’t lightly snoring I’d swear she was doing it on purpose to just to drive me bat shit crazy.

  “Shit, shit, shit,” I whispered, I needed to move now. I gently picked up her head and slid out from beneath her, cursing spending a night sleeping on the couch. Once I was on the floor, I eased her head down on a pillow and grabbed my phone. I watched her sleep for a few minutes like a stalker and tried to remember the reasons I’d come up with for not wanting anything with her. Maybe I should rethink things, especially since now I knew that Max wasn’t in love with her like I had thought.

  Just then my phone vibrated again and it snapped me back to what mattered. Work, I had work to do. I answered the call telling Jim, our tour manager, I’d find him in thirty minutes. Then I got up to get ready for the day, I tried to ignore my hard-on, only it was persistent.

  When I was in the shower, I tried blocking Jules’ face from my mind, but only visions of her on her knees licking my cock flashed through my head. I grabbed my dick and squeezed, muffling my moan on the arm that was holding me up against the shower wall, turned around, and leaned back. Then gave up any pretense and let the thoughts of Jules take over. I reached down, fondling my balls while I stroked my cock. The thought of it being Jules mouth around my dick made me stroke faster. I pulled my nuts down trying to make it last longer. I wasn’t ready to give up Jules yet, even if it wasn’t real. I bit my lip when I pictured slowly pushing into her tight pussy watching her stretch around me. Another tug and twist, and I was coming all over my hand. I leaned my head back against the wall and tried to steady my breathing.

  I hadn’t come that hard in a long time. I sighed; I was so screwed. I wanted to know the color of her nipples, if she had pubic hair. I wanted to find the places on her body that made her shiver. I wanted her that much had become abundantly clear to me. Now what the hell did I do about that?

  Chapter 19

  Jules

  I woke with a sense of deja vu; I knew he wasn’t there even before I fully came awake. Only this time I had enough sense not to roll off the couch head first. I wasn’t going to think about this being the second time in a row that I’d fallen asleep with my head in Sam’s lap while he played with my hair. I really wasn’t going to dwell on the fact it was also the second time in a row that I had woken up after falling asleep like that, that Sam was long gone. He was busy, he was working, he was hiding from me.

  I stretched across the couch, my back popping, realigning after sleeping on the couch yet again. I sat up slowly and looked around. Seth was sitting in the booth with his laptop open; Xavier and Eli were watching something on the TV and no sign of Sam. I stood up and stretched once more before going in search of coffee.

  “You going to the show tonight, Sugar?” X asked.

  I grunted and poured coffee into my cup then fixed it to my liking. If they expected me to speak before having caffeine, they were either stupid or insane.

  I sat down across from Seth and sipped my coffee. I didn’t want
to think any more, thinking got me into trouble. Thinking led to me believing I could help Beau, when obviously that wasn’t the case. I should be smart and just stay away from men period, only I wasn’t that smart when it came to Sam. I seemed to lose common sense and reason when it came to him, which was stupid. I knew better, he may not be shooting shit into his veins but he did have an addiction all his own. I’d learned already that when it comes to addicts, be it alcohol, drugs, or work that you never came even remotely near the top of their priority list. I also had a suspicion that with workaholics it was further down that list than with a druggie.

  “Whatcha thinking about, Sugar?” X asked while sliding in beside me effectively blocking me in.

  “Nothing,” I groaned and looked out the window that ran beside the booth. “Oh holy shit,” I gasped.

  “What?” Seth asked looking around.

  I sat there with my lips parted staring out the window beside the booth. “Oh my fucking hell,” I breathed. It was beautiful, it made me feel small, I shoved X out of the booth and climbed over him while he sat on the floor looking at me like I was a crazy person. Who knows, maybe I had lost my mind. I ran out of the bus door, and stopped to stare. I’d never seen the mountains before, hell I’d barely left Texas before. I couldn’t take my eyes off the brilliant red rock formations, I felt tiny in the world just gazing at them.

  “Jules what the hell is the…oh,” X breathed he looked at me then looked around. “First time, huh?”

  I just nodded my head.

  “I wish we had time to really let you explore,” he said sadly. “This place is amazing.”

  “I’m just happy I got to see it,” I whispered.

  “Well if you go put some clothes on, I’ll show you more,” X said eyeing me. That’s when I realized I was standing out in a parking lot full of guys in my just rolled out of the bed glory, bedhead and all. I also realized I didn’t give a shit—this was gorgeous.

  “Who needs to show you around is Eli and Sam, this is their thing,” Seth said from behind me.

  “Huh?” I asked barely listening.

  “Last time we were here, we had a three day break just so Sam and Eli could go off rock climbing,” Xavier grouched. “Who the hell lets their drummer and guitarist go off rock climbing in the middle of a tour?”

  I giggled. “That doesn’t sound like Sam.”

  “That’s the real Sam,” Seth said looking around. “Get him out in the middle of nowhere and he’s back to the Sam before work took over.”

  “So whatcha you’re saying is I need to get us lost out here for him to pay attention to something other than his cell phone?”

  “What are you trying to get him to pay attention to, Sugar?” X drawled looking at me with a glimmer in his eye.

  “Me,” I told him.

  “He likes you, Sugar, he’s just fighting himself on it.”

  “Well, can you let me know who wins?” I asked him. “I’m tired of falling asleep with him just to wake up alone.”

  X and Seth both raised their eyebrows at that comment and I blushed at how it sounded. “That’s not how… what… fuck,” I groaned.

  They both laughed at me so I flipped them off and went back in the bus to get dressed, I wanted to explore as much as I could while I was here.

  Sam

  “What?” I barked into the phone, I had it held between my shoulder and ear as I signed off on some paperwork with the venue.

  “We have a problem,” Jim, our tour manager, said unaffected by my tone.

  I sighed. “Of course we do, what now?”

  He chuckled. “It seems that your opening band is missing some things.”

  “And?”

  “They forgot their guitars.”

  I waved off the person standing there for my attention and cleared my throat. “How exactly does a musician forget their instrument when on FUCKING TOUR?” I yelled.

  “My guess by being more interested in pussy than their jobs.”

  I thrust the signed paperwork at the guy that worked for the venue and scrubbed my hand over my face. “Let them borrow out of my collection, just not—”

  “Yeah I know, just not the Les Paul or the Custom Fender Strat.”

  “Give them the Yamaha and uhm the…” I mentally went through the guitars I had with me. “…the green Fender. Also tell them they had better get their guitars by tomorrow or figure something out.”

  “On it, boss,” Jim said then hung up.

  “The lighting guy is throwing a fit.” One of the crew stood there staring at me.

  I groaned. “Tell Jim.”

  The guy nodded and ran off talking to someone in his headset. I looked around a moment to see if there was anyone else waiting to talk to me.

  “Yes, Ian?” I asked.

  “The label would—” he started but I put my hand up to stop him from talking.

  “Not now,” I growled.

  “But…” he started again.

  “Ian, I do not have time right now, take care of it. After we get set up, I will listen to whatever they have to say, but right now unless you are here to tell me the stage is on fire, again, find something useful to do.”

  At this point, I was debating the positives and negatives of throwing myself off a cliff. We’d played at Red Rocks before and never had this much trouble. It didn’t make sense, the stage set up was simple, lights were simple, and everything was fucking easy for this show as long as the weather participated with our plans. The only thing not screwing with us was the weather for once.

  My phone rang again and I nearly threw it off a cliff when I saw Jim’s name flash on my screen. I needed a break, I needed a drink, and I needed Tylenol.

  “Jim, I’m heading to the bus, what do you need?”

  “I found something that says they belong to you,” he replied.

  “Huh?”

  “Young, brunette,” he paused a minute. “Huh, purple eyes.”

  “Jules,” I said.

  “What’s your name?” Jim asked.

  I heard her voice answer him. “What’s the problem?”

  “She’s running around without a pass,” he told me.

  “Where’s hers?”

  I ducked behind a stack of speakers while he asked.

  “She said she never got one.”

  “Fuck,” I groaned, “that’s my fault.” I’d never given her the all access pass that I’d had made for her when she arrived in Vegas.

  “Tell her I’ll meet her at the bus,” I told Jim and hung up.

  I walked quickly with my head down in that direction hoping I could get there without being stopped. My phone rang again, I looked down and saw my mom was calling; I quickly ignored the call like the others I’d received since tour started and nearly ran back to the bus.

  I made it to the bus with only a few stops and questions along the way. I quickly took the steps, hitting the lever to close the door behind me. I took stock of who appeared to be still on the bus.

  “Where’s Jules?” I asked Eli.

  He shrugged and continued to eat his bowl of cereal while watching TV. I sat down on the couch beside him, leaned my head back against the wall, and tried to stop the headache forming behind my eyes.

  “You okay?” Eli mumbled around a mouthful of cereal.

  “Nothing a few shots won’t cure,” I muttered rubbing my forehead.

  “You know if you let Jim and his crew do their jobs instead of trying to do everyone’s job for them you’d have fewer headaches, right?” asked Seth as he came out of the bunks.

  “Have you seen Jules?” I asked ignoring his previous question.

  “She went out to explore,” Seth answered sitting down in one of the captain chairs.

  “I heard,” I said dryly.

  Seth gave me a look and I shrugged. “Got a call, she was running around without her badge.”

  A few minutes later, a member of security walked on the bus with a hand wrapped around Jules’ arm. She was glaring daggers up
at him while the guy was glaring back. She tried to pull her arm out of his grasp but he held on, I was on my feet with Seth just behind me when I saw her flinch.

  “Let her go,” I said between clenched teeth.

  “She keeps trying to get away,” the guy said glowering down at Jules. Though the crazy ass woman just glared back at him. The guard let go of her arm and she spun around and headed back out the door.

  “Hey!” I yelled but she was already gone.

  “What the hell?” Eli asked looking out the window watching her sprint across the backstage area.

  The security guard looked like he was about to chase after her but stopped when he saw my face. “She needs a pass.”

  I dangled her all access laminated pass from my fist. “She has one. I never gave it to her.”

  “Why did she just run off?” Seth asked eyeing the guard.

  He shrugged. “She fought me the whole time and dropped some stuff.”

  Seth closed his eyes while rubbing the bridge of his nose. “You mean she dropped her sketchpad,” he grumbled.

  “Dunno,” the guard said looking out the open bus door. “Looked like an autograph book or something to me.”

  “No, that would be her sketchpad that has all the ideas for her work in it as well as the tattoo designs she’s been working on,” Seth groaned. “No wonder she’s pissed off.”

  A minute later, Jules stomped up on to the bus with her sketchpad in her hand. And Seth was right, she was well and truly pissed off.

  “Is it okay?” I asked quietly.

  She stared at me a moment then shrugged. I sighed internally, then reached out and handed her the pass I should have given her the first night. She took it from me, nodded once, then walked back off the bus. I looked back toward Seth to ask him a question but found him frowning and staring at the floor. I followed his gaze and found several pages that had been torn out of her sketchpad lying on the floor. That explained why she was giving all of us the silent treatment.

  I looked at the guard. “You can go, and if you see her again I’d leave her alone, unless she’s in trouble.” The guard nodded and headed off the bus.

  I looked back at Seth and Eli. “I’m going to go find her,” I mumbled then reached down and grabbed the papers off the floor. I nearly dropped them again when I saw a charcoal sketch on top. One of me sleeping on the couch in the bus it looked like. I flipped to the next and found another of me sitting with a guitar in hand, then the next one of me sitting with Jaks while helping him with his guitar. I couldn’t help but stare; they were amazing. And they were all of me. I wasn’t sure what to think or do with this information, but I did know I needed to find Jules.