The Scholar's Heart (Chronicles of Tournai Book 3)

by Antonia Aquilante

  “I know they won’t. Thank you.”

  “Try to eat a little more.” Amory nudged Tristan back toward his still mostly full plate with all the gentleness he possessed.

  “I’m not hungry,” Tristan said, but he picked up his fork again and took a bite, proving he found it difficult to say no to Amory. Etan often had the same problem.

  Etan picked up his own fork using his nondominant hand because he didn’t want to let go of the hand Tristan still had on his thigh. He had to eat slower because he was far less dexterous with that hand. He didn’t have a problem with eating slower; he really wasn’t hungry, but he had to eat if they were going to get Tristan eating.

  The rest of the table quietly resumed their meal. Etan ate often with his brother and cousin and their husbands, and he’d never passed a more awkward meal with them. The worry for Bria, the lack of knowledge of what was being done at that moment to find her hung heavily over the table. He had no idea what to say, how to carry on a conversation with some semblance of normalcy with Tristan beside him. He doubted any of the others did either. Cathal ventured a few words about one of his morning meetings to which Philip and Amory responded, but even that conversation was sluggish and died out quickly. The meal passed mostly in silence.

  Chapter 17

  TRISTAN COULDN’T have told anyone what he ate after lunch was over, perhaps not even while he ate it. He’d never had a meal that was less than excellent when visiting the palace, but he didn’t even taste this one. He drifted out of the dining room at Etan’s side, allowing himself to be guided back to Amory and Philip’s sitting room. Philip’s secretary came for him, and Philip left with a few murmured words and a brief kiss for Amory. Amory stayed and so did Flavian, who sat near the window with a sketchbook.

  Tristan slumped onto the couch, leaning into the corner. Amory sat beside him, close enough for Tristan to feel his presence but not so close as to make him feel as if Amory was crowding him. Amory’s presence soothed him as much as he could be soothed, but in a different way than Etan’s presence calmed him. Amory was his oldest friend, and there was comfort in having someone who’d known him for so long beside him.

  There was comfort in having Etan with him as well. Etan sat near him, also not touching him, but Tristan knew if he wanted Etan to do so, if he wanted Etan to hold his hand or pull him into his arms, Etan would. Etan would give him whatever comfort he needed. He only wished Etan’s comfort could make all he felt go away, but only Bria in his arms again would do that.

  Cathal had left after lunch but stepped back into the room later in the afternoon. He checked there was no news, spoke a few encouraging words Tristan barely heard, and went to Flavian, sitting and carrying on a low-voiced conversation with his husband. Tristan wasn’t interested enough to even try to hear what they said.

  A knock on the door sounded just as Cathal was standing to leave. Tristan shot to his feet as Cathal crossed the room to open the door, admitting a guardsman who handed Amory a note with a bow. “Message from Captain Loriot, Your Highness.”

  It took everything Tristan had not to dive at Amory and rip the paper from his hands, and even then his own strength probably wasn’t enough. But Etan put his hands on Tristan’s shoulders from behind, the pressure light but enough to restrain Tristan from tackling his friend to the floor.

  Amory was mercifully quick in opening and reading the note. He looked up at Tristan as soon as he finished. “They have a place to look. Apparently Corentin’s information was helpful. Savarin was able to whittle down the area further with his spell, and Captain Loriot is taking his men there to find Bria.”

  Amory offered the note to him, and Tristan snatched it from his hand to study it himself. Unfortunately, it contained nothing more than Amory had said. “I need more information than this.”

  “It’s all right,” Etan said, his voice soft. But Tristan didn’t want to be soothed now.

  “It’s not. I need to know what’s going on.”

  “Captain Loriot is going after your daughter, and he’ll bring her here as soon as he has her,” Cathal said.

  “I should be there with him when he finds them, not waiting here.”

  “We’ve been over this,” Amory said. “We need to let him do his work.”

  “His work is done! He’s going to get her, and I should be there when he does to make sure she isn’t scared. To make sure both of them are all right.”

  “And you will. As soon as he brings them back.” Amory stepped closer, reaching for his hands. “I would want to run out there too, but he doesn’t have them yet. He needs to get them back from whoever is holding them, and you’d only get in the way of his doing that as safely as he can. Please, stay here and wait a little longer.”

  Etan rubbed Tristan’s arms as Tristan stared at Amory, considering his words. He wanted to rush into the city, to be there when Captain Loriot retrieved Bria and Selene, to find them himself and take them from whoever had them. To hurt whoever had taken his daughter from him. But Amory made a good point. If Tristan did everything he wanted, he could get in Captain Loriot’s way and put Bria in more danger. That was a risk he couldn’t take.

  “All right, I’ll wait. A little longer.”

  Etan pulled Tristan back against his chest for a moment, holding him tightly. Tristan let himself lean for that moment, until the lingering urge to push everyone aside and run for the door was under control. He didn’t think he could make it go away, but he could control it.

  “I’ll inform Philip,” Cathal said. “We’ll be back as soon as we can.”

  “Thank you,” Amory said. “I’ll send word if we hear anything.”

  Cathal disappeared out the door, leaving the four of them alone again. Tristan slumped back onto the couch. For a moment, none of the others moved, but then Etan sat again, which seemed to be the cue for Flavian to return to his sketchbook and Amory to his position at Tristan’s side. Tristan took note of their movements briefly, but his attention couldn’t stay with his companions. He could only think of Bria. He was so close to getting her back. So close. He needed Captain Loriot to succeed. He needed the man to find Bria and Selene and bring them home safely, the reality of which was just hitting him. Captain Loriot’s job wasn’t only to find them; it was to get them back from the people holding them.

  He didn’t want to imagine how dangerous that task might be. But he could do little else.

  After a while, Etan stood, drawing Tristan’s attention from where it had sunk inward. His eyes focused on Etan as he prowled the room. His movements were restless, his steps aimless, taking him through the sitting room in circles and winding loops around the furniture. Flavian looked up from his sketchbook as Etan passed him, meeting Tristan’s eyes and then watching Etan too as he moved away again.

  He wanted to tell Etan to sit, to calm down, but he wasn’t calm himself. If he wasn’t so exhausted, he might have been pacing too. Fear and fatigue weighed him down, smothered him. He couldn’t sleep—he was too scared, too worried for that—but he couldn’t quite heave himself off the couch to move either. He almost wished he could. Moving might help him handle some of these feelings. But he didn’t tell Etan to sit, to stop his pacing and wait with the rest of them.

  He did watch Etan. Amory and Flavian did as well. He wondered if Amory and Flavian were thinking the same thing he was, if Etan’s pacing was helping his agitation or just building it. Etan’s face gave Tristan no clues, but he kept watching nonetheless.

  At some point—Tristan wasn’t certain exactly when or how much time had passed—Philip and Cathal returned. They both seemed to take in the situation with a glance. Cathal went back to the chair near Flavian’s, but Philip went to Etan. Etan stopped moving and faced Philip. Philip put his hands on Etan’s shoulders for a moment as he looked into his eyes. Etan finally nodded and squeezed Philip’s arm. They said nothing to each other, but Tristan thought quite a bit had been exchanged, and he wondered what it was. After another moment, Philip sat beside Amory, a
nd Etan continued his circuits of the sitting room.

  The next knock on the door brought them all to their feet. Etan strode to the door and pulled it open before Philip or Amory could call out an invitation to enter. Captain Loriot stepped inside the suite. Tristan couldn’t read anything about his emotional state, about whether he’d been successful just from looking at him. He clenched his fists.

  “Captain Loriot, my daughter? My sister?” Tristan asked, not waiting for Philip or Amory to speak. He was too impatient for politeness and protocol.

  “Both safe.”

  Relief flooded Tristan, making his knees go weak, and he swayed, but Amory put a hand to his arm to steady him. “Where are they? Where’s Bria?”

  “With Jadis.” Captain Loriot continued quickly as if he knew the panic that rose within Tristan. “They weren’t hurt that I could see, but I thought it best for them to be examined. I’m sure he’s expecting you.”

  “Thank you, Captain. I’m going now. I need to know what happened, who had them, but I have to see Bria first.” Tristan pulled Amory into a hug. “Thank you. Thank all of you for everything you’ve done.”

  “I’ll let your family know they’ve been found,” Amory said. “Go on.”

  Tristan nodded and made for the door but stopped. “I don’t know where they are.”

  “I’ll show you,” Etan said.

  Etan led him through the corridors of the palace into an area Tristan had never seen. The royal healers kept workrooms and examination rooms there, and Jadis an office, but Tristan had never had reason to visit them. Etan opened the door for him, allowing him to step into an antechamber. A young man, a healing student by the color and length of his robe, stepped up to them immediately. He bowed.

  “My lord. And Master Tristan? Master Jadis said you could come through when you arrived. This way, please.”

  Tristan turned to follow him, but he glanced back at Etan who hadn’t moved. “Come with me? If you like.”

  “Of course I will.” Etan followed behind him as the student led them into the healers’ domain at a brisk walk. The young man stopped at a half-open door. Tristan heard his sister before he saw her.

  “I really think you should let me hold her. She’ll be frightened by another strange face. I don’t know why we had to be brought here. I just wanted to take her home with me where we’ll both be safe and comfortable again.”

  He bristled. Was Selene really implying that she expected to take Bria with her to their mother’s house? He couldn’t believe she’d continue with that thinking and that plan in the face of everything that happened to her and Bria. His anger was building so quickly he almost missed Jadis’s reply.

  “Bria isn’t frightened or upset, and you were brought here so we could make sure you’re all right after your ordeal.”

  “I told you I’m fine. I’m not injured.”

  “Nevertheless, it doesn’t hurt to check,” Jadis said, his voice still placid. “And Bria can’t tell us if something hurts her. It’s best to check. You wouldn’t want something to happen to her would you?”

  “No, of course not. I just want us to go home,” Selene said, her voice plaintive.

  Etan dismissed the young healing student with a nod. Tristan watched him scurry away as he listened to Jadis trying to calm Selene. As Tristan tried to calm himself.

  “You’ll be able to go home soon. Your brother is on his way to take both of you home. For now, please let Healer Elio examine you.”

  Tristan stepped forward and pushed the door open all the way, tired of waiting and of listening to his sister’s arguments. When had she become so difficult? He wanted to give her the benefit of the doubt—she had just been through what had to be an awful experience, so of course she wanted to go home—but she had tried to take Bria before they were both kidnapped.

  There were two cots in the small room. Selene perched on the edge of one with a healer hovering next to her. She was disheveled, her hair tangled and tumbling around her shoulders, her gown wrinkled and a little dirty, and she looked as if she wanted to jump off the cot and grab up Bria who lay on the other cot with Jadis bent over her. Tristan’s heart jumped into his throat, his breath caught—and then Bria kicked her little legs and let out a happy-sounding gurgle. He let out a long, relieved breath, and Jadis looked up.

  The healer smiled. “Master Tristan, come in. I’m sure you’re eager to see your daughter and sister.”

  “Extremely.”

  “I’m just finishing with Bria. She’s fine, not injured at all. She’s probably due to be fed, but I can arrange that for you.”

  “Thank you. May I…?”

  Jadis’s smile grew, and he stepped away from the cot. “Be my guest.”

  Tristan needed no other urging. He rushed to the cot and scooped Bria up into his arms. He held her against his chest, rocking her back and forth, breathing in her sweet baby scent. He thought he knew how scared he’d been that he might never see her again, but he hadn’t, not until right now, holding her in his arms again. Dimly, he felt Etan’s hand come to rest on his back, but he couldn’t take his attention off Bria for one second to look at him. He couldn’t even say anything to Etan as he was trying too hard to keep from crying.

  “Tristan?” His sister said his name quietly, but he still heard it.

  He took a long breath, trying to pull his emotions back under control. When he opened his eyes to look at Selene, he doubted he would cry or yell, but his grip on control was shaky at best.

  “Selene, I can’t even express how relieved I am that you’re safe and unhurt.” He hated to say anything to ruin the tremulous smile that bloomed on her face, but he had to. “We’re going to have a talk about what you tried to do—you and Mother—but for now, let’s be happy that you and Bria are safe.”

  “Tristan, I was only—”

  He shook his head. “I don’t want to hear about it now. Please let the healers take a look at you.”

  Selene stared back at him for a moment, tears gathering in her eyes, but she finally gave in under the force of his gaze. She nodded, and the healer beside her stepped closer, talking quietly to her.

  Tristan bit back a sigh and took a few steps away to give Selene at least the illusion of privacy with the healer. Etan followed him and stood at Tristan’s side, placing one hand on Tristan’s back and the other on Bria’s. Tristan leaned into Etan and looked down at Bria. Her head was heavy on his shoulder, her eyelids drooping. She would be asleep in another moment. They’d have to put off the feeding Jadis said she needed until she woke.

  Etan leaned down and brushed a soft kiss to the pale hair on Bria’s head. Tristan’s heart melted. How had he not realized how much Etan cared for Bria? “You probably want to hold her.”

  “I do.” Etan smiled at Bria and then up at Tristan. “But I’d never ask you to let her go yet, not when she’s just returned to you. Plenty of time for me to hold her later.”

  Etan’s understanding Tristan’s feelings without being told had a lump lodging in Tristan’s throat. He couldn’t get words out so he leaned forward and brushed a kiss over Etan’s lips. A chaste, light kiss, but hopefully enough to convey what he couldn’t with words. From Etan’s smile, Tristan thought he did. “Why don’t you hold us both for a little while?”

  “I can do that.” Etan slid his arms around Tristan and Bria with no hesitation, despite the presence of Selene and the two healers. He hadn’t spent much time thinking about Etan’s admission that he still loved Tristan—how could he with Bria in danger?—but now it came rushing back to him. Etan loved him, and was demonstrating his love for all to see. Or at least for two healers and Tristan’s sister to see, but that was something. Etan was the brother of a royal duke, cousin to the crown prince, and while Etan wasn’t quite as rigid in his observance of the proprieties as Cathal was, he still followed them. Tristan doubted Etan would have been so affectionate with anyone he wasn’t committed to, and perhaps not in any other circumstances.

  Tristan was gla
d for Etan’s arms around him, but he wanted to know what Etan’s confession of love meant for them. Where they would go from here. He suddenly wanted to have that conversation, but it wasn’t the right time. Not yet.

  “I love you,” he whispered for Etan alone to hear. Though if Bria somehow did, that would be all right too. Bria should know how much they loved each other, how much they loved her too.

  Etan’s arms tightened, folding Tristan and Bria closer against his chest. “I love you too.”

  “Tristan?”

  His mother’s voice broke into the warm cocoon that peace and love had woven around him. He sighed and turned, pleased that Etan stayed close at his side even if he did release Tristan from his hold.

  Mother and Maxen stood in the doorway to the examination room. Mother stared at him and Etan, but Maxen stepped into the room. “They’re all right?” He looked at Selene. “You’re all right?”

  “Master Jadis?” Tristan asked.

  “A few bruises, but no other injuries. I suggest a light meal to start so you don’t make yourself sick, and some rest and pampering to let the bruises heal and to get over the shock of the experience,” Jadis said, stepping away from Selene.

  “Thank you,” Tristan said. Maxen echoed the sentiments. Tristan continued, “I’m sure you’ll be more comfortable at home, Selene. Maxen, would you mind seeing Selene and Mother home? I’d like to get Bria home too.”

  “I’ll escort you and have Captain Loriot come to the house to speak to you,” Etan said.

  “Thank you. I appreciate that.”

  “Tristan, I can take Bria home if you need to stay here, or if you need to check on the offices,” Mother said.

  Tristan forced the surge of hot anger down. Could his mother truly be asking to take Bria? After everything that had happened? Etan’s hand stroked over his back, soothing.