Witch is How To Lose Big
Page 10
Despite those distractions I did the best I could.
“Have you actually met Eddie’s sister, Lorraine?” I said.
“No, but he often spoke of her. I got the impression that the two of them were very close.”
“I went to see his wife yesterday.”
“Sandra? I don’t suppose that horrible cow cares whether you find Eddie or not, does she?”
“I think it’s fair to say she wasn’t as distraught as I would have expected her to be. From what I could make out, she thought he’d run away with you. At least she did until you turned up on her doorstep to ask if she knew where he was.”
Sylvia managed a smile. “I’m not sure how I found the courage to do that, but I was so desperate for information. Any information.”
“How serious was your relationship with Eddie?”
“Very. For me at least. I loved him from the moment we first met.”
“What about him? Did he feel the same way?”
“I’m not sure anymore. I thought he loved me, but now—” Her words drifted away.
“Had the two of you ever discussed the possibility of him leaving Sandra?”
“Often.”
“With what result?”
“He said he was going to do it, but that he needed more time.”
Hmm. A likely story.
“What about the day he disappeared? Were you at the hotel with him?”
“Yes. The room was booked in his name, just in case Sandra checked up on him.”
“Can you tell me exactly what happened while you were there?”
“There’s not much to tell really. We’d spent a lovely day together and then, in the evening, we went out for a meal.”
“You didn’t eat at the hotel?”
“No, we checked the menu, but there was nothing on there that we fancied, so we went to the Lakeside Tavern. The meal was lovely, and everything was going great until I made the mistake of asking him again when he was going to leave Sandra. “He told me that I should drop the subject, and not to spoil the evening. I should have let it go. I see that now. But I’d had a couple of drinks, and I was fed up of being fobbed off, so I accused him of stalling. I told him that I didn’t think he was ever going to leave her, and then I stormed out. That was the last time I ever saw or heard from him.”
On the drive back to Washbridge, I mulled over what Sylvia had told me. Eddie Broom’s marriage had clearly been on the rocks, and then his mistress had walked out on him. Had that been the straw that had broken the camel’s back? Was it possible he’d decided he couldn’t take any more and chosen to ‘vanish’?
Or had something more sinister taken place?
***
Back at the office, I decided it was time to tackle the sign problem, so I took a walk down the corridor to the offices of Clown.
“Where are we going now?” Big said.
“I have to have a word with a couple of clowns.”
“Great! I love clowns.”
“Don’t be ridiculous.”
Kimmy was on reception as usual.
“We got rid of that sign like you asked, Jill.”
“So I noticed, Kimmy.”
“It’s actually Sneezy when I’m on duty. Did you also notice that we’d put up a new one at the top of the stairs like you suggested?”
“Yes, Sneezy, I did, but then, I could hardly miss it.”
“Do you like it?”
“No, I don’t. When I suggested a sign at the top of the stairs, I had in mind something a little more subtle. A small plain sign that said, ‘Clown school this way.’ What I wasn’t expecting was a ginormous sign featuring two life-size clowns.”
“We rather like them.”
“I’m sure you do, but surely you must see my problem. When a new client comes to visit me, the first thing they’ll see when they walk in the building is two clowns staring down at them. What kind of impression do you think that will give them?”
“Everyone likes clowns, Jill.”
“I love them,” Big chimed in.
“Shut up, you. I didn’t ask for your opinion.”
“There was no call for that, Jill.” Kimmy looked positively taken aback.
“No, not you. Sorry, what I meant to say is not everyone likes clowns. I don’t for starters.”
“You’re just saying that.”
“I’m really not. And I’m not the only person who doesn’t like them. You’re going to have to get that new sign replaced.”
“I don’t know what Breezy will have to say about that. He wasn’t very happy when I told him that we had to get the first one replaced.”
“In that case, he and I had better have a little chat.”
“He’s not in today, but I can ask him to come and see you on Monday.”
“I look forward to it.”
“You were a bit hard on her,” Big said, as we walked back down the corridor.
“What did I just say about not asking for your opinion? Watch your head on the door.”
“I’ve spoken to those clowns about their sign, Mrs V.”
“What did they say?”
“Jimmy or Breezy or whatever he calls himself is coming to see me on Monday. We’re going to have a friendly chat.”
“You’ll be gentle with him, won’t you?”
“You know me, Mrs V.”
“That’s the problem. I do.”
When I walked into my office, I couldn’t believe my ears: Winky was broadcasting again.
“This is Winky FM on air for the last time.”
I hurried across the room, pulled back the screen, and yanked off his headphones.
“Hey, what are you doing?” he screamed at me.
“What did I tell you? No more broadcasting.”
“I’m just saying goodbye to my listeners.”
I picked up the microphone, walked over to the window, and threw it out.
“Hey, you can’t do that.”
“I just did.”
“That microphone was expensive.”
“I don’t care. I warned you that I could get arrested if you made any more broadcasts from here. Get rid of the rest of this stuff, and do it now.”
When I turned around, Big was cowering in the corner.
“What’s up with you?”
“You’re scary when you’re angry,” he said.
“This is nothing. You should see me when I—”
“Turn green?”
“What? No. When I’m really vexed. Now, you two had better stay quiet for a while because I have work to do.”
“Two?” Winky gave me a look, but he had the good sense not to pass further comment.
A few minutes later, I heard voices coming from the outer office. Being curious by nature (okay, nosey), I went to find out who was out there.
Mrs V was talking to Jules who was sitting in Mrs V’s chair. The young woman looked quite pale.
“Hi, Jules, are you okay?”
“She’s just had a nasty shock,” Mrs V said.
“Oh dear, what happened?”
“I’m okay, Jill. As I was on my way here, a microphone hit the ground right in front of me. I think someone must have thrown it out of one of the windows.”
Oh bum!
“Are you sure you’re okay?”
“Positive. It just shook me up a little. Why would someone do something like that?”
“I can’t imagine. Unless of course their patience had been tested to the limit.”
Both Jules and Mrs V gave me the same puzzled look.
“Not that that would be any excuse, obviously. Would you like a drink? Tea maybe?”
“No, thanks. I only popped in to ask if you and Annabel would sponsor me in the Washbridge Marathon tomorrow.”
“Of course we will,” Mrs V said. “Won’t we, Jill?”
“Actually, I’ve already sponsored our next-door neighbours.”
“But you’ll want to sponsor Jules as well, won’t you?” Mrs V said.
“That’s great.” Jules took a form out of her bag and handed it to Mrs V.
“Is ten-pence a mile all right, Jules?” Mrs V said.
“That’s far too much, Annabel. Make it five-pence a mile. That’s more than enough.”
After Mrs V had filled in the form, she turned to me and said, “How much shall I put you down for, Jill? The same?”
“Err, yeah, I guess so.” I took a closer look at the form. “How come you and Dexter didn’t go for one of those joint sponsorship forms?”
“We thought it would be better to have separate ones. And besides, I think those joint ones are a bit of a con. People have no idea what they’re committing to.”
“How do you mean?”
“If you tick the checkbox, and both runners finish in under three hours, the amount you agreed to sponsor is multiplied by ten. That just doesn’t sit right with me.”
It didn’t sit right with me either. I couldn’t believe Britt’s nerve. When Jack had asked her about the checkbox, she’d glossed over it as though it was nothing. If the Livelys both finished inside of three hours, it was going to cost us a small fortune.
Unless of course I did something about it.
Tee-hee.
Big had been sitting in the corner of my office for the last hour and a half, and for the last ten minutes, he’d done nothing but complain.
“How much longer do we have to stay here? It’s boring.”
I checked my watch. It was just after four-thirty, so I decided I might as well call it a day.
“We can go home now.”
“Great!” He stood up and banged his head on the ceiling.
“Be careful.”
As I walked out of the door, Winky caught my eye, and said, “Are you sure you don’t need a medical intervention?”
“You’ll need it if you do any more broadcasting.”
“I’m going to call it a day, Mrs V.”
“Okay, Jill. I’ll see you in the morning.”
It had been one of those days when I felt like I’d achieved very little, but then the drive to Wakefield and back to see Sylvia Long had taken several hours out of my day.
When we got to the car, Big climbed into the trailer. This time, though, he didn’t need any persuading to let me strap him in. At the toll bridge, I took out the usual change from my bag and handed it to Mr Ivers.
“I need another twenty-five pence, please, Jill.”
“Sorry?”
“Another twenty-five pence, please.”
“Have the charges gone up again?”
“No. The additional charge is for your trailer.”
“Surely you don’t charge for those.”
“Yes, we do.” He pointed to the sign.
I’d never really taken much notice of the list of charges before because I’d always paid the same fee.
“Great.” I took another twenty-five pence out of my purse and handed it to him.
When I arrived home, Jack’s car was already on the driveway. As I unstrapped Big from the trailer, I said to him, “You have to be on your best behaviour in here.”
“I will, but is there anything for me to do?”
“What kind of thing do you like to do?”
“I like to read. Do you have any good books?”
“We have a few. What kind do you like?”
“Thrillers mainly.”
“Okay. I’ll see what I can find for you.”
As soon as I walked into the house, I could hear voices coming from the lounge.
“Jill! I’m in here with Kit,” Jack shouted.
Big followed me through to the lounge and sat down in the corner of the room.
“What’s with the trailer?” Jack said.
“I thought I’d have a bit of a clear out. I can use it to take the rubbish to the tip.”
“It’s only a few weeks since we had a good clear out.”
“There’s still plenty of stuff that needs throwing away.”
“I’d better get going,” Kit said. “I only came over to bring you the cake.”
“Cake?” My ears pricked up.
“Britt has baked us a cake as a thank you for sponsoring them,” Jack said. “Isn’t that kind of her?”
“Very.” Guilty conscience more like.
After Kit had left, Jack said, “Why did you really get the trailer?”
“You wouldn’t believe me if I told you.”
“Try me.”
“Okay, but don’t say that I didn’t warn you. There’s a giant green man sitting over there in the corner.”
Jack laughed. “There’s no need to be sarcastic, Jill.”
“I’m not. There genuinely is a giant green man over there, but only I can see him. His name is Big.”
“Hi.” Big waved to Jack.
“He says hi.”
“Is this a wind-up?” Jack clearly still wasn’t convinced.
“No, I promise. The other day I helped an elderly lady who’d dropped her shopping. It turned out she was a fairy godmother, and to thank me, she gave me a little trinket box. It’s an ugly thing, but I decided to find out what was inside it. It turned out to be a big green man.”
“And he’s sitting over there?”
“Correct.”
“How come I can’t see him?”
“No one can except for me. He’s been following me around all day; he won’t leave my side. When I drove to work this morning, he squashed himself into the car with me, and I could barely drive. That’s why I got the trailer.”
“How long is he going to stay with you?”
“I have no idea. Until I can find some way of getting rid of him, I suppose.”
“Charming,” Big said.
“Sorry, but you know what I mean, big guy.”
“It was nice of Britt to bake us a cake, wasn’t it?” Jack said.
“Don’t mention that woman to me.”
“Why? What has she done to upset you?”
“Jules came by the office today; she’s taking part in the marathon too. I asked her why she wasn’t using the joint sponsorship form for her and Dexter. She said she thought they were unfair because people didn’t realise that if they ticked the checkbox it could potentially cost them a lot more money.”
“I ticked the checkbox.”
“I know you did. And now if Brit and Kit both finish in three hours, we’ll have to fork out ten times the amount you thought we’d sponsored them for.”
“What? That’s ridiculous!”
“Don’t worry. I have a plan.”
Chapter 13
By the time I got downstairs on Saturday morning, Jack had already finished his breakfast.
“You look dreadful,” he said.
“And a very good morning to you, too. I barely got a wink of sleep last night.”
“Poor you. Aren’t you feeling well?”
“I’m fine, I just couldn’t sleep for all the snoring.”
“You should have nudged me.”
“It wasn’t you who was doing the snoring. It was him.” I gestured towards Big, who was sitting in the corner of the kitchen. Not that Jack could see him.
“I do not snore.” Big objected.
“Are you kidding me? You sounded like a road drill.”
Jack still looked a little bit freaked out whenever I spoke to Big. “Couldn’t you have got him to sleep in the spare bedroom?”
“Don’t you think I tried? He refuses to leave my side. He even wanted to go into the bathroom with me this morning, but I drew the line there.”
“What’s going to happen if he snores like that every night? You’ll never get any sleep again.”
“I’ll just have to work something out.”
“At least it’s Saturday. You’ll be able to have a nice restful day.”
“Chance would be a fine thing. Have you forgotten that I have to go to Candlefield this morning for that stupid broom flying practice?
”
“Oh yeah, I had. That should be fun.”
“About as much fun as lying on a bed of cacti.”
“By the way, have you remembered that Dad’s coming over later?”
“Of course I have. He’ll still be here when I get back won’t he?”
“He should be, seeing as time stands still while you’re over there.”
“Yeah, but I also plan on dropping into Washbridge for the marathon.”
“I didn’t think you’d be interested in watching that?”
“What do you mean? I love a good marathon.”
“I’ll never understand you, Jill.”
***
Half an hour later, after I’d finished breakfast, I told Big that I had to magic myself over to the paranormal world. “You’ll have to wait for me here.”
“I can’t do that. I have to stay with you.”
“I’m not sure if I’ll be able to magic you over there because the ‘shrink’ spell didn’t work on you. Couldn’t you just stay here in the house? Time stands still here while I’m in Candlefield, so you won’t even notice I’m gone.”
“I can’t, the rules say I have to be at your side at all times.”
“Okay then, give me your hand. I’ll give it a try.”
This time, my magic did work on the giant green man, so I transported us both to the Range in Candlefield where broom flying practice was to be held.
“That was really cool,” Big said when we arrived.
“While we’re here, you’ll have to keep out of the way because it could be dangerous.”
“But I have to stay by your side.”
“And just how do you propose to do that when I’m flying on the broom?”
He thought about it for a moment and then said, “Okay, but I’ll be right here on the ground underneath you in case you fall.”
“Who are you talking to, Jill?”
I turned around to find Maybelline Maytime standing there. Next to her were three other women, two of whom had been my teammates in the broom flying competition.
“Hi, Maybelline. This will probably sound crazy, but I have an invisible friend with me.”
“O—kay.” Maybelline raised her eyebrows. “If you say so.”