Mac twisted his water glass around in circles on the table. “She’s been honest with me from the very beginning, but I can’t say I’ve returned the compliment.”
“You’ve lied to her?”
“No, but I haven’t told her there’s every possibility I’ll never want to come back here if Marian wants nothing to do with us. Kate’s already had her heart broken. I don’t want things to get any deeper between us before I’m sure I’m going to be around for the long-term.”
“Aren’t you thinking about you and her a little too seriously?” She leaned forward. “You’ve only just met the woman. You’re under no obligation to her. You’ve not promised her anything.” She raised her eyebrows again. “Have you?”
“No, but I’ve slept with her.”
“Ah.”
Mac blew out a breath. “Exactly. With Kate, everything feels different. I want whatever I start with her to stick.”
Lily and little Mac returned to their seats at the table, and Mac welcomed the diversion. Dana’s gaze continued to bore into his temple as he pushed the kids’ juices toward them.
“Did you guys see anything interesting on the beach?”
Lily nodded. “Three mermaids and a whale.”
Mac laughed. “Really?”
Little Mac shook his head. “No, you did not. We saw blue sea and lights from the fair.” He glared. “You’re lying.”
“Am not!”
“Are too!”
Mac grinned and raised his hands, glancing at Dana, whose smile seemed frozen in place as she looked at her kids, her gaze full of warning.
Mac cleared his throat. “Why don’t you go and ask that nice waitress over there if we can see the menu? I’m pretty sure they’ll have something else you guys will like.”
They scrambled down from their seats and hurtled toward one of the waitresses.
He faced Dana, and the force of her glare dissolved his smile. “Sorry.”
“This is what I’m talking about.” She drained the remainder of her orange juice. “You love those kids, right?”
“Of course.”
“You’re a great uncle to them, right?”
Mac frowned, wondering where she was going with this. “I try to be.”
“No, you’re a great uncle to them. That’s who you are, Mac. You love kids. You love people. You love family. Either of us might have picked up the mantle to find Dad’s mum, but it was you who went for it, regardless of your less-than-loving reasons.”
Mac shifted in his seat and glanced toward the door. “And?”
“And that’s why Kate’s honesty has scared you. You don’t like not being there for people...and I think a big part of you wants to be there for Kate.”
He took a deep breath. “Which is why I need to leave. Kate deserves more than I’m prepared to give her. I’m not entirely thrilled she’s stirred up the possibility of me being in a relationship again. Of opening myself up to something that could lead to God knows what.”
Dana’s eyes shadowed with sympathy. “The chances of you losing another woman how you lost Jilly are very, very slim, Mac. You’re too good of a man to spend the rest of your life alone. You know that, right?”
He leaned forward. He feared he wasn’t really ready for another relationship...that maybe he shouldn’t have slept with Kate. “It’s complicated. She’s complicated. Plus, she makes me think about things I thought about with Jilly.”
“Such as?”
“Such as...” He shook his head, willing his niece and nephew to come back to the table. “Kids, holidays together, a house...” He raised his eyebrows. “Even a dog. Chocolate Lab who’d I call Tyler. Such as having more than a life of bouncing from one gig to the next. Such as wondering if I might find a woman who makes me want to settle down and stay in one place for longer than a few days.”
“Mac...” Dana reached across the table and squeezed his fingers, looking happy. “This is all good. Take a few days. Come home with me, but then, when you’re ready, come back and talk honestly to Kate about everything you’ve been through. What losing Jilly and the baby did to you. Meeting our grandmother isn’t as important as you moving forward with someone who could be your partner, your love.”
He clenched his jaw, his dad’s notes and diary entries replaying in his mind. “Says who?”
She frowned. “Says me.”
He eased his hand from Dana’s. “I have to see this through, Dana. I won’t be happy until I do. Anyway, it doesn’t matter what I might or might not feel about Kate. It scares the hell out of me to get involved again. You know how I fell for Jilly. If I fall for Kate, too...” He shook his head. “I can’t go through that again. Kate and Marian deserve more than a man who’s afraid of the future. If they come to rely on me and I end up feeling suffocated, afraid of letting them down...” He drew in a calming breath and slowly released it. “I need to go home. I need to really think about what I’m doing here and how it could affect other people.”
“I agree.”
He held her gaze before nodding, a silent understanding passing between him and the sister who had held him up for the two years after Jilly and their baby died. Lily and little Mac came to the table and Dana deftly lifted Lily on to her lap as they pointed to the menu and the treats they wanted. Nothing showed in their mother’s expression that she might be more caught up in her brother than her children right then. Dana’s ability to shield her children from her own troubles never failed to increase Mac’s admiration of her. If only he were that strong.
Instead, when the going got tough, he fled.
He’d fled from his family’s grief to Templeton...and now he was going to flee from Templeton because he feared falling in love with Kate.
The one thing he was certain of was she deserved someone way stronger than him. He wasn’t sure he’d ever be as flexible as Dana, wasn’t sure he could be ten different people and, at the same time, exactly who the person with him needed him to be. How could he ever manage to be so much to so many people when all he ever thought about was how much he had to lose?
Hating the horrible pull deep inside his chest, Mac forced a smile and shoved his vulnerabilities aside. He reached across the table. “Hey, do I get a look at these pastries?”
Lily giggled and held a menu toward him. “Here you go, Uncle Mac. You get to choose first because you’re our most favorite uncle.”
He met Dana’s eyes, and she winked, then he dropped his gaze to the menu. He’d go home with his family. The people who were his and hopefully always would be. Where he went next as far as Kate and Marian were concerned needed to be thought about long and hard. There was no way he’d allow either of them to love him without being sure he would be around for them for a very long time.
* * *
KATE STARED AT her computer screen, and the words of the memo to the center’s head office blurred, her thoughts filled with Mac and his silence since their fight two days ago. Her concentration waning, she abandoned the memo and checked her phone. No texts. No missed calls.
Trying hard to hold on to her resolve that she had been right to say the things she had, Kate picked up her phone and headed for the small kitchen. Happy it was empty, she pushed the door closed and dialed Mac’s number. Straight to voice mail.
She cleared her throat, fighting the nerves that tumbled in her stomach. “Mac, it’s Kate. Again. Clearly I upset you the other night, but I was only trying to make you understand that this whole thing with Marian is as much about you as it is her. I’d really like it if you returned my messages. Hope to speak to you soon.”
Hands shaking, Kate ended the call and slumped back against the counter, staunchly fighting back the tears that pricked her eyes. She would not cry. Crying was for people who let their hearts run away with them. She wouldn’t surrender to the horrible, hollow feeling in her chest that had refused to abat
e for the past forty-eight hours.
The door opened and Nancy wandered into the kitchen. Kate quickly picked up the kettle and walked to the sink, turning on the tap. “Everything okay, Nance?”
“Everything’s fine with me.”
The “what about you?” hung in the air between them like an axe about to fall.
Kate turned, forcing a smile. “That’s good. Kind of busy out there.” She abandoned the kettle on the counter. “I’d better get back to work.”
“What’s going on, Kate?”
Damn it. Kate’s smile wobbled as she purposefully faced Nancy. “Nothing. Everything’s fine.”
Nancy raised her eyebrows, her eyes full of concern. “You can talk to me, you know. The reason you’ve been so distracted the last couple of days wouldn’t have anything to do with the new man in town, would it?”
“New man?”
“Kate, it’s me you’re talking to. We’ve worked together a long time and we’re good friends. What’s going on?”
Sighing, Kate leaned back against the counter. “Fine. It’s Mac. He’s not returning my calls. I might have said a few things to him the other night that he didn’t exactly welcome.” She drew forth every ounce of pride she had left from her rapidly dwindling reserves. “I just don’t understand how men can cut women off the way they do. I thought he was different. How stupid could I be?”
Frowning, Nancy crossed her arms. “You like him that much, huh?”
“Liked.” Kate scowled. “Past tense.”
“Hmm. Well, if that were true, you wouldn’t be glaring at that kettle as though it was to blame for world poverty and you wouldn’t be snapping at everyone in the office. If he’s not answering your calls, go and see him in person. Face-to-face is the best way to deal with men. Believe me.”
“I just need to know if whatever was starting between us...isn’t. Do you know what I mean?” Kate pushed the curls back from her face, hating the way her chest ached for something that had barely been there in the first place. “To spend so much time with me and then bolt without a goodbye or explanation...that’s just low. As in my ex-boyfriend low.”
“Where’s Mac staying?”
“The Coast.”
“You know you’re the manager here, right?”
Kate frowned. “And?”
“So, take some of that extra time you’ve clocked up and leave early. Get yourself to the Coast. Just act nice and casual. Hopefully, he’ll be there, but, if not, Vanessa should be able to tell you where he is. You know what she’s like.”
“I can’t do that.”
“Why not?”
Kate picked up a spoon, tapping out her nerves against the countertop. “It’s too sad to go chasing after a guy that way. Really, really sad.”
“No, it’s not. There could be a perfectly innocent explanation why he isn’t answering your calls. Give the guy a chance, Kate. You like him. He likes you. Don’t give up on what might be a good thing.” Nancy stepped closer and stopped Kate’s tapping with a firm grasp. “Go. Now. Before the rest of us start betting whether it’s safe to talk to you or not. You’re cranky. Go and get uncranked.”
Before Kate could respond, Nancy turned away and started busying herself making a cup of coffee. She stared at her colleague’s back before lifting her chin and leaving the kitchen. She’d go to the Coast. Lord only knew what she’d, say to Mac, but the truth was, even with him ignoring her, she didn’t regret her words or pushing for his honesty. If the man couldn’t see what she said made sense, she wasn’t even sure she wanted to be with him. But she most definitely needed another conversation with him.
“Stupid, stubborn, guitar-playing pain in the butt.” She stalked to her desk and snatched her purse from the back of the chair. “This is your last chance with me, Mac Orman. Your very last.”
She scribbled “Back in the morning” on a scrap of paper and placed it on her keyboard, then hurried from the office before she could change her mind. She walked to the Coast in half the usual time, and when she pushed open the bar door, the sparseness of the clientele was a clear sign she had no business being there at just past four in the afternoon. Shaking her head, she turned to walk back outside.
“Stop right there, Kate Harrington.”
“Busted.” Kate groaned before forcing a smile and turning around. “Hi, Vanessa.”
The landlady raised her eyebrows. “Does it smell in here or something?”
“Of course not.” Kate laughed, her shoulders rigid with tension. “I changed my mind about having something to eat, that’s all. I can wait until later.”
“Hmm.” Vanessa wandered closer and slipped one arm through Kate’s. “He’s gone. Come with me and have a bite at the bar.”
Sickness gripped Kate’s stomach as she numbly allowed Vanessa to draw her deeper into the bar. “Mac’s gone?”
“Uh-huh. Yesterday morning.”
“Oh.” Disappointment and hurt yanked hard at Kate’s chest.
“Oh? That’s all you have to say?” She nudged Kate toward a bar stool. “Sit.”
Kate obeyed and placed her purse atop the bar, her mind racing and her heart hurting. “He’s gone.”
“And the only explanation he gave was he needed to do some thinking.”
About me? Marian? Himself? Kate took a deep breath. “Do you know what about?”
“Nope. He’s hardly the type to elaborate, is he?” She held up a can of Diet Coke. “You want one of these?”
Kate nodded. “Sure.”
Vanessa poured it into a glass and handed it to Kate. “He didn’t run out on you without calling first, though, right?”
Heat stung Kate’s cheeks.
“Because if he did...” Vanessa shook her head. “He wouldn’t be welcome back here, and that would be a shame. Dave and I were getting pretty close to a full-on smile from the guy.”
“Yeah, me, too.”
They exchanged a smile themselves before Vanessa raised her eyebrows. “You did tell Mac how much you like him, didn’t you?”
“Yep, and then some. Which is most probably why he got out of town so quickly.”
The door opened and Vanessa’s eyes widened, her mouth dropping open. Frowning, Kate turned, her mind confused and her stupid heart in turmoil. Her breath caught.
Mac slowly walked toward her, his focus fully on hers. Kate tried and failed to drag her eyes from his, desperately wanting to act nonchalant. Instead, she froze, her thrill that he was back sizzling heat through her blood.
He stopped beside her, all six feet of him looming over her, his blue eyes dark and intense. “You’re here.”
Her throat dried, and she coughed to clear it. “Yes.” Gathering as much bravado as she could, she finally dragged her gaze from his and faced Vanessa. The woman stared at Mac as though God himself had just walked through the damn door. “Vanessa? Could you make that two Cokes?”
Vanessa blinked, her smile slamming into place. “Sure. Coming right up. Are you back, Mac? Your room’s still free.”
Kate stared straight ahead, Mac’s gaze burning into her temple as Vanessa poured his drink.
He stepped closer. “I’m back, and I’ll need the room indefinitely. If that’s okay?”
“Indefinitely...right...great.” She put his drink on the bar. “I’ll be in the kitchen if you two need anything else.”
Left alone with him, Kate drew in a strengthening breath and turned. “Why don’t you sit down?”
He slowly put his guitar and bag on the floor before sitting beside her. “I couldn’t leave without speaking to you.”
She picked up her drink, relieved it didn’t tremble as she brought it to her lips. “I thought you’d already left.”
“But I’m back now.”
A ghost of a smile played on his lips. “It’s like I’m connected to the place by an in
visible rubber band or something.”
She smiled softly. “I guess you are.” She sipped her Coke. “So, what is it you want to talk about?”
“You. Me. Marian.” He brushed some of her hair behind her ear.
She resisted the urge to shiver as she focused on the bar. “Right.”
“Look at me, Kate.”
Her heart pounding, she faced him. His deep, dark, beautiful eyes held hers.
“I can’t leave without speaking to Marian, but, more than that, I can’t leave now I’ve met you.”
She nodded, feeling a traitorous smile stretch across what felt like the breadth of her face. “I see.”
He smiled, too. “So, will you speak to Marian with me?”
“Yes.”
“Can we go back to your place?”
“Yes.”
He slid from his stool and pulled his wallet from his back pocket. Extracting a five-pound note, he left it on the bar before picking up his guitar. He slipped the strap over his shoulder, picked up his bag and held out his free hand toward her.
Sexual tension hummed through her body and overrode the common sense reverberating in her mind. She slipped her hand into his and led him from the bar.
Chapter Seventeen
KATE ENTERED HER apartment ahead of Mac and tossed her purse on to a seat by the front door, deep yearning for Mac tumbling inside her. “Make yourself comfortable. Coffee? Are you hungry?” She tipped her head back to look into his dark blue eyes, her need to kiss him pulsing through her. “I can put a sandwich together. Or I could toss some pasta on to boil. Or—”
“Kate.” He took her hand. “I don’t want anything to eat.”
“Right.” She swallowed, far too aware of the warmth and breadth of his hand in hers. “Coffee?”
His eyes glinted with amusement. “Sure, but first I need to know if it’s okay to kiss you. If not, I should maybe leave because I can’t think about doing anything else right now.”
Pleasure quivered through her, and her cheeks burned. She nodded. “You can kiss me.”
Slowly, he lowered his lips to hers, and Kate reached up to grip his hard biceps. She dug her fingers into the sleeves of his leather jacket and gently met his tongue with hers. He’d returned. To the Cove. To her. Her heart pounded as the familiar, spicy scent of his aftershave drifted into her nostrils, his hands on her waist making her feel all was right in the world.
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