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A Stranger in the Cove

Page 19

by Rachel Brimble


  After too brief a moment, he eased away and searched her eyes. “I’m sorry I left.”

  She reluctantly slipped her hands from him and crossed her arms as though protecting her heart. “Why did you?”

  He turned and walked farther into the living room, then dropped on to the couch, his defeated gaze on hers. “I left because of what you said to me. The true things you said to me. Losing Jilly made me realize we need to grab every hope of family and friends we can. Not take those we already have for granted. Yet I chose to use my heartbreak to hurt someone else. Hurt Marian. But with you...” He slumped his shoulders. “Will you sit with me? This is twenty times harder than when I rehearsed it.”

  Anxiety and confusion coiled tightly inside her as she slowly walked to the couch and sat. “You say you want to grab family and friends, yet you slept with me and left, Mac. You hurt me, and you intend to hurt one of my closest friends.”

  “Intended...and I know. I’m sorry.” He took her hand and raised it to his mouth, kissing her knuckles before resting their hands against his chest. “I came back because I had to. I couldn’t get you out of my head. I couldn’t...” He stared at her mouth. “I couldn’t walk away without giving us a chance.” He lifted his gaze. “Tell me I’m not too late. That I haven’t blown my chance to be with you.”

  As much as his words sped her heart rate and gave her hope, Kate held on to her self-preservation and slipped her hand from his. She pulled back her shoulders. “I don’t know until you tell me your plans. Are you going to speak to Marian?”

  He released a heavy breath, his eyes somber. “Yes. I’m going to tell her who I am as soon as possible. Once she knows, her reaction will, hopefully, provide me with the answers I need.”

  “And how are you going to speak to her?”

  “As gently and as tactfully as I can.”

  “And what exactly are the answers you’re hoping for?”

  “Why she felt giving Dad up for adoption was the best option at the time. Why she looked for him so many times and then stopped.” He swiped his hand over his face and met her gaze. “Why she never married before George and why she never had more children. I don’t think I’ve ever met a woman who should be a mother more in my life.”

  Kate softly smiled. “I couldn’t agree more, and it would be good if she can answer all those questions, but I’m still afraid for her, Mac. I’m afraid for you, too.”

  “I’ll be fine.” He took her hand and squeezed her fingers. “And I’ll do everything I can to ensure Marian is, too.”

  “Good. That’s all I ask.” Kate looked at their joined hands. “And what about you and me?” She lifted her eyes to his. “I need to trust you. I need to know you’ll do all you can not to hurt me or let your grief get the better of you again. Do you think you can do that? Regardless of what Marian says to you, or what sort of relationship she wants with you from now on.”

  “I can.” He looked deep into her eyes. “I feel so differently now I’ve found you. I can see that I could be happy again.” He brushed his lips over hers. “That I can love again.”

  Kate nodded, yearning for everything he described. “I want those things so much, too. I want them for both of us.”

  “Then, that can only be a good place for us to start.” He exhaled. “I have to see Marian now, and then it’s our time.”

  She stared into his eyes and recognized the worry, the vulnerability. She’d suffered that same anguish of feeling rejected by her mother and sister. She raised her hand to his jaw and looked deep into his eyes. “It’s going to be all right.”

  “I hope so.”

  She stood. “Let me make some coffee and then you can tell me how you plan to approach your formidable grandmother.”

  He huffed a laugh. “My plan consists of walking into the bakery and telling her I’m her grandson.”

  “You can’t just blurt it out like that.” Her concern for Marian heightened once more. “Doing that will most likely lead to her smacking you up the side of the head and ejecting you from the premises. She needs careful handling. She needs to know, from the very beginning, that you’re telling the truth.” She walked into the kitchen and set the kettle to boil. “Let’s figure out the right time and place, and go from there.”

  “Fine.” He stood and came to the breakfast bar that separated the kitchen from the living room, sliding on to one of her stools. “Any ideas?”

  Kate pulled a couple of mugs from the hooks beneath one of her cupboards and spooned in some instant coffee granules as her mind churned. “I think we need to get Marian alone, so we can tell her about your family in privacy. She deserves the choice of if, when or how she tells anyone else. Her past is her own, not anyone else’s to judge. Including us.”

  “Of course.” He touched her hand where it lay on the countertop. “You know, it’s just as well I ran into a contrary, too-much-to-say-for-herself girl the first night I arrived here. Maybe it was you who had to clear the way to being welcomed with open arms by the grandmother I never knew I had.”

  She leaned across the counter, her gaze on his lips. “Maybe it was.”

  He met her halfway and they kissed.

  * * *

  MAC SMILED AT KATE. He could see the cogs of her brain turning over, her thoughts showing clearly in her dark brown eyes. “You’ve thought of something, haven’t you?”

  “Yes.”

  “And?” Mac took the cup of coffee she handed him.

  She picked up her own coffee, and they walked into the living room and sat side by side on the couch. “Well, I think it only right that we talk to Marian on her own territory, so she feels safe and in control. Considering all Marian does for everyone in the Cove, I don’t want her to feel threatened or under any sort of pressure to do the right thing.”

  “Whatever the right thing is.” Mac took a sip of his coffee, self-doubt churning. “I’ve no idea what that might be, and I wouldn’t be surprised if Marian feels the exact same shock, anger and panic I did when I found Dad’s notes.” He inhaled. “She needs to understand I’m not here to accuse her or demand anything from her. Once she knows about me and my family, I’m happy for her to do what she will. This is about closure for me and, hopefully, her.” He met Kate’s steady gaze, the rapid beat of his heart telling him all too clearly that the goalposts had shifted since he arrived in the Cove. He was falling in love again, and there wasn’t a damn thing he could do to stop it. “You’ve become a big part of what happens next for me. You get that, right? This isn’t all about Marian anymore.”

  “And I’m glad, but right now, this has to be about her.”

  Mac silently regretted the selfishness of moving from Marian’s feelings to his own. “So, I assume Marian’s domain is the bakery?”

  “Yes.”

  “But that place is never empty.”

  “She closes up on her own every night. We’ll have a half-hour window between her locking up and George coming to take her home. The limited amount of time means we can tell her who you are and then leave, giving her the space she needs to process the information.”

  Mac sipped his coffee, doubting Kate’s logic. “Shouldn’t she have time to ask me questions? Lay down any ground rules? This feels too much like dropping a bomb and then fleeing before the aftermath sets in.”

  She looked at him, a faint color staining her cheeks. “You’re right. It’s exactly that. Doing it my way isn’t fair to her.”

  The disappointment in her eyes seemed to reflect something more than simply his questioning her idea. Mac placed his coffee on to the small table in front of them. “What else is going on, Kate? Why did you want to talk to Marian and then immediately leave? If I was wrong to ask for your help, then—”

  “You weren’t wrong, and I’m glad you did.”

  “Then what is it?”

  “It’s what I said to you before about person
al intentions behind the things we do and the choices we make. Suggesting you tell Marian who you are and leave serves my fear of not dealing with her shock, her possible heartbreak that the son she never knew is now dead and I knew about everything before her. I’m not sure how I’ll cope seeing her upset.” She shuddered. “When I found my sister and Dean in bed together, I ranted and raved, threw things and swore, but doing that healed nothing inside. When I lost my baby, I forced my pain and heartache to the back of my mind, refused to acknowledge how upset I was. I provoked arguments with my family and friends instead, but acting out didn’t go anywhere near soothing the pain.”

  He smoothed his hand on to her thigh. “I can speak to Marian alone if you prefer.”

  Her eyes glistened with unshed tears. “I want her to love you, Mac. You deserve to know how wonderful a person Marian is. I hate the thought of her not trusting you...not trusting me.”

  He nodded, wanting nothing else than the words to take the anxiety he saw in her eyes. “I’ll speak to Marian alone. She doesn’t have to know you knew anything about my relationship to her. This is my job to do. Not yours.” “I just wish there was a definitive way to ease her into this. For news about your dad’s passing and your family to not come as such a shock.”

  Mac drew his gaze over her face, falling a little deeper in love with her. With her generosity, her need to protect others from pain when she’d experienced such deep hurt herself. He couldn’t help wondering if she had any idea how much her kindness had taught him. He touched Kate’s chin and eased her face to his.

  He gently kissed her and drew back. “I know only too well how families can be affected by shock. How loved ones can turn away from each other in the face of trauma, rather than draw closer. I turned away from my parents and Dana when Jilly died. I couldn’t handle seeing the pity, grief and worry in their eyes.” He lightly kissed her again. “We’ll find a way to prepare Marian, so I’m more of a distant rumble than a strike from nowhere. That would be better for all of us.”

  She swiped her fingers under her eyes. “Agreed.”

  “So, maybe we need to find a way to test the waters?”

  “But how?”

  “I don’t know. I can’t see how I’ll manage to go into the bakery again without blurting out who I am. She already suspects I want to talk to her about something.” He smiled wryly. “Just like my father always knew when I was hiding something from him.”

  She briefly smiled before her eyes widened. “I’ve got it. I could go into the bakery before George picks her up and tell her I’m dealing with a case where a son is looking for his birth mum. Marian’s reaction will speak volumes, and we’ll know whether the time is right for you to speak to her.”

  “Don’t you think that’s a bit underhanded? The last thing I want is for Marian to be angry with you.”

  “I’ll be subtle. I can do this. I know I can.”

  “I don’t know, Kate. It should be me in the line of fire, not you.”

  “But don’t you see? She can’t get upset with me without telling me her story. She’ll either advise me or tell me about your dad. Either way, we’ll know where we stand.”

  “The plan makes sense, but I can’t let you—”

  “You’re not letting me do anything, Mac. I’m asking you to wait a while longer in the hope of causing Marian the minimum distress. You want that for her too, right?”

  “Yes.”

  “Then we’ll go with my idea of a hypothetical case. I’ll go to the bakery tonight, and by tomorrow, you’ll know if the time is right to meet your grandmother properly.”

  He drew in a long breath and slowly exhaled. “You really are kind of bossy, you know that?”

  She grinned. “I do, and now I’d really like to boss you around in my bedroom.”

  He leaned toward her, easing her back on the settee, his need for her and everything she’d awakened in him rising. “Who needs a bedroom?”

  Chapter Eighteen

  KATE SLOWED HER pace as Marian’s bakery came into view. Her plan didn’t feel quite so watertight now she neared her destination. The woman she so admired and loved was undoubtedly inside, oblivious to what was about to happen.

  Pulling back her shoulders, Kate pushed on toward the bakery. As she’d expected, the building was in semidarkness, with only the low lights inside the glass counter and a light coming from the open kitchen door illuminating the interior.

  Marian swept a broom across the floor. And as though she sensed Kate standing outside, she paused and straightened, then squinted through the window. Recognition registered, and she smiled and waved.

  Kate offered a faltering wave in return, silently praying for the strength to see through her mission. She stepped toward the door as Marian unlocked and opened it.

  “Well, Kate. What on earth are you doing here? You know what time I close up shop.”

  Kate grimaced. “I need some advice.”

  Marian beamed. “Then you’ve come to the right place. Step inside before you catch your death. These temperatures keep dropping the way they are, we’ll be icicles before next week. Being by the ocean might be a godsend in the summer, but in February, a person can wonder if they’re insane to live here.”

  The fading smells of sugar and cinnamon reminded Kate of how welcoming Marian and her bakery were to everyone in the Cove. Briefly closing her eyes, she prayed Marian wouldn’t make her the first resident she banished from her domain.

  “So, what’s going on?” Marian lifted an upturned chair from one of the small pine tables in the center of the room and set it on the stone floor. “You look more than a little worried, my lovely.”

  “Not worried, more keen to help someone.” Kate lifted a second chair and sat next to Marian. “I had an unusual call from a friend today.”

  “You did? About what? And what can I do to help?”

  Kate’s mouth dried, and she glanced toward the bottles of water and cans in the cooler. “Could I get some water? I’ll pay, of course.”

  Marian waved her hand, her gaze serious, like a bloodhound sniffing out trouble. “No money needed. Help yourself.”

  Grateful for a few seconds of space, Kate willed her heart rate to slow. She needed to relax or it would take all of five seconds for Marian to realize this situation involved herself. Taking her time, Kate opened the cooler and stared at the various soda cans, water and fresh fruit before selecting a bottle of water. Schooling her expression into one of practiced objectivity, Kate rejoined Marian at the table and sat. “So, my problem.”

  Marian frowned. “Are you sure you’re all right? You’re looking mighty troubled.”

  “Uh-huh.”

  “And you’re jumpy.” Marian’s eyes widened. “This advice isn’t about anything illegal, is it?”

  “No, not at all.” Kate twisted the cap off her water and drank deep. She tightly gripped the bottle and forced her gaze to Marian’s. “It’s about an adoption.”

  Marian didn’t as much as flinch. “I see. Whose?”

  “It’s confidential. I was just hoping you’d give me your opinion about something.”

  “Go ahead. I’ll help if I can.”

  “Okay, well...” Kate cleared her throat and purposefully held Marian’s gaze. “I know of a man looking for his birth mother. He thinks he might have found her, but he’s unsure whether the mother will want to have anything to do with him. She signed a register for mothers who are willing to reconnect with the children they gave up for adoption, but that was years ago and, as far as we know, she hasn’t taken any new steps to finding him since.”

  Marian’s expression had turned into a frozen mask, her skin pale and her shoulders stiff. “Well, maybe she decided to leave the rest up to him.”

  Hope sparked inside her, and Kate nodded. “I suppose. So you think if he made contact with her, she’d be happy about it?”

>   “That depends.” Marian’s voice was low, the joy usually so prevalent in her exclamations, questions and praise absent. “What does he expect from her?”

  The unanticipated question tossed Kate’s hopes to the wayside. “I don’t think he has an agenda.”

  “Are you sure?” Marian stood and snatched up her broom. She glanced at Kate before sweeping the floor with more gusto than when Kate had been watching through the window. “The boy must be expecting something. Has he considered why his mother might have given him up? If she was forced? The decision taken out of her hands?” She stopped, her gaze on the floor and her knuckles showing sharply as she gripped the broom handle. “Maybe the circumstances at the time meant giving him up would provide the best possible chance for the boy. If he blames her...”

  Kate struggled to speak against her guilt. “He doesn’t blame her. He just wants her to know he’s okay.”

  Marian huffed a laugh and straightened, her cold gaze sending shock waves through Kate. “And then what? He’ll disappear again as though nothing’s happened?”

  “No, it will depend on—”

  “His mum, right? Everything that happens next will be on the shoulders and conscience of the woman who made a life-changing decision years ago. That’s not fair, Kate. Not by a long shot.”

  Regret for coming here twisted inside Kate. Neither she, nor Mac, had thought this through carefully enough. Kate swallowed, her heart beating fast as she stared into Marian’s glassy eyes. Is this what families did to one another? Assumed and blamed without consideration for their loved ones’ choices?

  Kate stood, her legs trembling. “I should go.”

  “Why? You don’t like my questions?” Marian raised her eyebrows, her gaze steely. “I haven’t even given you any advice yet. I’m just putting some scenarios and considerations to you. This boy will be a stranger to his mother. A grown man with demands and problems. Expectations and heartaches. What is his mother supposed to do about that? How can she comfort and hold him when she walked away?”

 

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