ARC: The Almost Girl

by Amalie Howard

  “Luck,” Shae repeats, a small frown creasing her brow. I notice that there are more bruises and cuts along her arms, all of them fresh.

  “Maybe I sensed you in my subconscious?” I offer snidely. I can’t keep the sarcasm from my voice. “So who’s June, really? Does she know who you are?”

  “No.” Shae shrugs her shoulders, not giving up much. I raise a skeptical eyebrow, and Shae continues. “She’s part of an organization here that helps with supervised independent living until Caden turns eighteen.”

  I return her shrug, thinking of the gun I found. It makes no difference to me whether Shae’s lying about June or not. She’s not my target. “Is Caden here?” I ask abruptly.

  Shae’s face is expressionless but her body is poised, anticipating an attack. “I know why you’re here, and I can’t let you take him back,” she says.

  “You don’t know anything,” I snap, bristling. “And I’m not a little girl anymore. You don’t get to make decisions for me or tell me what I can and can’t do.”

  “You don’t understand–”

  “That’s what you said when you left. I’m older now. Try me,” I say, folding my arms across my stomach and tapping a booted foot against the flagstone path. My fingers close comfortingly around the handle of a blade that’s tucked into the waistband of my second-hand black fatigues. I don’t trust anyone, far less Shae, who’s deceived more than her share of people.

  She stands, both hands in the air, and I back away a couple steps in instinctive response. “If you take him back, they’re going to kill him. The Vectors looking for him have drawn the attention of the Guardians on this side. We don’t have a lot of time. I have to take him somewhere safe. All I’m asking is for you to trust me.”

  “Trust you?” I sputter and laugh at the same time. “Like that’s going to happen.”

  “You think you can stop the Vectors? There’s a dozen of them within hours, less even, of finding us. Where do you think I was? I was fighting them, trying to lead them away from Caden. They’re coming here, Riven. For him. And for you.”

  “I can take care of myself.”

  “And Caden? Can you take care of him?” Shae says staring at me as if she’s trying to anticipate what I’m going to say. “He’s a prince, unless you’ve forgotten.”

  I stare back. My voice is cold. “No, he isn’t. He’s more than that, Shae. You know that. He has a purpose. And you must know why I have to take him back. Cale is dying.”

  “Then they will both die. What you’re doing is suicide.”

  “Don’t you even care that your home is about to be at the mercy of a madman if Caden doesn’t go back? What’s the alternative? That he stays here and lives out a life he wasn’t meant for, while everyone we know, everyone we love, dies or is enslaved by Murek?”

  Shae sighs, the movement rippling wearily through her whole body, and interrupts my tirade. “Riven, he doesn’t know.”

  “What?”

  “Caden doesn’t know anything about who he is or where he came from, none of it. He had very little memory of his life in Neospes and what little he did remember, Leila erased. She never meant for him to go back, you know. They were going to kill him.”

  “It doesn’t matter,” I snap. “He’s needed there now.”

  Shae sits on the step again, her entire body slumping forward. Pain spasms across her face from the movement.

  “Not that I care, but what happened?” I ask, nodding at the gashes on her arms.

  “Two Vectors. I took care of it.” She sighs and leans against the railing. “Did our father send them?”

  I spit on the ground and nod. “Yes. He’s with them, but you knew that already, didn’t you?” I see the flare of pity in her eyes – meant for me – but I ignore it. “Look, you haven’t been back to the city in years. Neospes is on the brink of war, and more people will die if we allow Murek to take control of the monarchy. He has an army of Vectors at his back and he means to control our world, and this one too, I expect. It’s why I have to help Cale. He’s got no one he can trust, and he has to live, or we all die.”

  “I know more than you think,” Shae says. “But sacrificing Caden isn’t the answer, Riven. I took an oath to protect him. What makes his life worth any less than Cale’s? Or yours? Or mine? This is the only place he’s safe.”

  I take a deep breath, trying to calm the sudden rush of anger swirling inside of me at her blindness. “Safe for what, Shae?” I growl. “Caden has a purpose, one which he is bound to fulfill. I took an oath too, to protect our king. You and I both know that this is what he was born for.”

  “You’re wrong. Leila left because she loved her son too much to let him die.”

  “Cale’s her son!”

  “Caden is, too.”

  “He’s not her son,” I mutter doggedly.

  We’re at an impasse, staring at each other with stubborn fury. I’m not above using force to get my way, but Shae’s just taken out two Vectors. Alone. I’m not about to make any rash and stupid decisions about her combat skills or apparent exhaustion. The silence hangs between us like an impenetrable wall as we stare at each other across the five feet that could well be an abyss between us. After a few tense minutes, Shae clears her throat.

  “Do you remember that day? When I left?” she asks, and I give the barest of nods. It’s a day etched into my memory so deeply that I couldn’t forget it if I tried. “I wanted to take you with me, but you wouldn’t go,” she says. Her laugh is empty. “You remember what you called me?”

  Defector.

  She doesn’t have to say it; we both know what I said.

  “That was the day I realized that you were your father’s daughter. He robbed you of anything close to love,” Shae says. “You chose to stay with him out of fear of him than out of love for me. He owned you then, and he owns you now.”

  “I am nothing like him,” I grit out. “No one owns me.”

  “He used to say that I could never be a killer, because I was too emotional. Said I loved too much. How can someone love too much? He said I was too much like Mom. Soft. I proved him wrong, even though I died a little bit inside every time I took a life.” At Shae’s words, my eyes feel like there’s sand behind them, and a boulder settles in the pit of my stomach. “But he was right about you, wasn’t he? The stone-cold sister? The one who wouldn’t be torn by emotion, the one who kills without feeling a thing? Servant to the monarchy… obeying orders without question… He’s made you into their killing machine. So what? You’re going to kill me now, Riven?”

  Her words are like daggers, hardening every bit of resolve I’d lost over the last few weeks. Living in this world has softened me, made me forget who I am. But Shae’s right. I am a killer. And I obey. It’s what I do.

  She wanted stone-cold? I step forward and pull a bone-handled sword from the underside of my backpack so that it lies flush down the length of my thigh. Her eyes narrow at my blatant challenge.

  “If I have to,” I say. “I’m taking him whether you like it or not, Shae. He is nothing more than a target to me; you said it yourself.” I stare at her with cold eyes, feeling nothing but icy purpose. “You chose your path and I chose mine. And you are nothing but an obstacle that I am more than willing to remove.”

  Shae pulls herself to her feet, a slender double-edged sword materializing in her left hand. “So be it,” she agrees. “But you know I can’t let you do that.”

  “Can’t let her do what?” a familiar voice calls out. Caden is striding up the driveway with his bag of gear slung over one shoulder and carrying a trophy. I turn around, twisting my hand in a backwards motion so that my blade slides under my backpack into its sheath. His timing couldn’t have been worse. Or maybe it’s a blessing in disguise.

  “Nice trophy,” Shae says, discreetly pocketing her own blade. “You win again?”

  Caden dumps his bag on the grass and tosses the trophy on top of it with a grin and a thumbs-up. “You’re back,” he says to Shae with raised eye
brows. “Visiting?”

  “Checking in.”

  “My warden,” Caden says to me still grinning. The cocky sideways smile reminds me so much of Cale that my breath hitches in my throat. I am beginning to hate these moments when I’m caught off guard, when the two of them start to merge into one, or worse, when Caden starts to become someone real on his own.

  “Hey,” I say tightly.

  “Thought you were going to the meet?” he asks, his shoulder brushing mine.

  “I know, but I got caught up, something with Charisma. I’ll fill you in later,” I say, flicking an eye over to Shae, who seems to be watching us both with more than a little curiosity. Without thinking, I step away, and the immediate quirk of Shae’s eyebrow irritates me. I know exactly what it’s meant to say, mocking my earlier words.

  Just a target?

  I return her look evenly.

  Caden’s gaze pans slowly from Shae to me, and back again. There’s very little family resemblance between us, considering we’re only half sisters, but we’ve been trained by the same people, a fact that’s evident in the similar set of our shoulders and the stance of our feet. It’s an environmental similarity, and obviously one that Shae hasn’t lost, despite all her years here.

  Belatedly noticing Shae’s appearance, Caden walks past me and sits next to her. “You look like hell. What happened to you?”

  Shae smiles, and it is a smile that I haven’t seen in a very long time. “You should see the other guy,” she jokes, and then says, “It’s no big deal. I tripped over my own two feet. You know how clumsy I can be.” She says those last words with a fleeting look toward me.

  But they have already drawn me into a near-forgotten memory.

  When we were little, Shae used to be constantly teased about how clumsy she was, tripping over furniture or nothing in particular. But the minute she got on the combat field, it was as if she transformed into the most graceful fighter. In the arena, no one could match Shae’s skill. Rising quickly into the ranks of the elite, Shae’s name became known by many, something that made her fall to disgrace – and our family’s shame – even more noticeable.

  I had to bear the brunt of it after she left, but it had only made me stronger and compelled me to outperform every other kid in my training classes. By the time I was twelve, I was put into elite training – the youngest ever – and at fourteen, the coveted rank of general was mine. Of course, that made no difference now. At Cale’s request, barely two months after my inauguration, I’d left to find Caden.

  Three years later, I’d finally found him. And her.

  “That cut on your face looks nasty,” Caden says, interrupting my thoughts. “June has some antibiotic cream that you should put on it.”

  Going into the house with Shae is not part of my plan. It’s confined and I’m not as familiar with the layout as she would be. In hindsight, I realize that the bare and spartan room would have been hers. I should have known… its austerity and the clock set ahead like mine should have been dead giveaways. Instead, I’d been blind.

  Careless.

  Caden pokes his head around the front door. “You coming or what?”

  I hesitate. The truth is, I feel much safer outside, even with the deepening twilight shadows already dappling the front lawn. Night isn’t too far behind, but at least it’s out in the open. But I don’t trust Shae either, and I don’t know whether she’d try to escape with Caden. Making a decision, I nod and walk up the porch steps.

  Inside, while Caden cleans the cut on Shae’s face in the kitchen, I sit at a stool beside the granite island separating us.

  “So, Shae,” I say casually, picking up an apple from a bowl on the countertop and biting into it. “You don’t live here?”

  Shae’s eyes laser onto mine, but I keep my expression blank. “No. I go to college a couple hours away.”

  “Funny that Caden never mentioned you.”

  Caden laughs, pouring antiseptic cleaner onto a gauze cloth. “What’s to mention? She’s sour, unfriendly, falls down all the time, and gets very pissed when I talk about her to anyone, like she’s some kind of secret agent. So I just pretend she doesn’t exist. Works for everyone.”

  “Shut up, Caden,” Shae says grimacing. “Ouch, ease up that stuff, will you?”

  “Stop being a baby,” he shoots back, and winks at me. “Shae’s my unofficial warden. I swear she’s got spies everywhere telling her my every move like I’m in witness protection.”

  “Caden…” Shae growls in warning.

  I know that voice, but I draw the fire in my direction. “Seems pretty safe here from what I can tell.” I grin at Caden. “Something you’re not telling me? Like you’re some kind of Princess Diaries royalty?” If looks could kill, I’d be incinerated, but I deliberately don’t look at Shae.

  Caden snorts and rolls his eyes. “I wish. No, Shae’s just Shae. Super protective ever since my mom died.” Shae looks like she’s going to explode and starts to get up, but Caden pushes her back down onto the stool. “Look, you can’t move while I do this, or it’ll get all messed up and won’t heal properly.” I take another bite of my apple and watch as he deftly places tiny strips of surgical tape across the cleaned and medicated wound.

  “How long have you guys lived here? With June?”

  “Ten years next February.”

  “You’ve been here this whole time?” He shoots me an odd look, and I rush to clarify. “I mean, I thought you’d lived on the East Coast and moved around.”

  “We moved here after my mom died. I told you, remember?”

  Now I’m confused. I’d tracked them across fifteen states in the past three years. And then it hits me. I’ve tracked Shae… the decoy, not them. He’s been here all along living a normal life while she’s been everting back and forth to throw anyone looking for them off the scent. Our eyes meet and I know that my guess is right.

  I frown. Everting so many times at what cost? Genetically, human bodies aren’t built to jump back and forth. Our cells start to break down, even with the pills reinforcing them.

  “Cade, do you know if June’s got any more of those painkillers in her medicine cabinet? My leg’s killing me,” Shae asks, glancing at Caden and breaking our connection.

  “The ones for your migraines?” he asks. I shoot Shae a sharp glance but she ignores me.

  “Yeah.”

  “Think so. Be right back.”

  As Caden leaves the room, Shae and I stare at each other across the granite divider. The seconds stretch into silent agonized minutes. Migraines are the first sign of brain degeneration. Despite her betrayal, I wouldn’t want anyone to suffer that kind of pain.

  “Shae…” My voice almost fails me. “How long?”

  “A few months ago. Don’t worry. I’m not going anywhere just yet.” She leans forward, pressing her palms on the counter and correctly interpreting my frown. “And I can still take you out if I have to,” she warns.

  “If you can’t protect him, then at least give him a chance with me.”

  “I can protect him,” Shae says. “It could be years before anything more happens.”

  “But it could be less.”

  The onset of migraines is the beginning of the end; the only unknown is exactly how long it takes before the appearance of brain tumors and the fatal seizures, like the one that had taken Leila, Caden’s mother. Sometimes it could be years, other times weeks. It depends on physiology.

  “He doesn’t belong there, Riv,” Shae says.

  “Don’t call me that,” I snap, ignoring the stab of hollowness in my belly. “Once I get him to Cale, we will be safe.”

  “Safe?” she hisses. “You’re taking him to his death.”

  “Shae, we’ve been through this; it’s what he was born for. If you die, he’s not going to survive much longer. Neither will Cale. At least let Caden fulfill his purpose.” I move slowly around the granite island until I’m standing right in front of her. I grasp her shoulders gently. “I know what you promised Lei
la,” I say. “But she made a promise too, seventeen years ago. If you don’t let me do this, they’re both going to die. Caden here and Cale there. At least if I can get Caden back, one of them has a fighting chance to live. Can’t you see that?”

  Shae’s eyes are wet with tears. “What if that chance belongs to Caden?” she whispers. “What gives us the right to choose who lives and who dies?”

  “Shae, that choice was made years ago.”

  “But he’s different. I know you’ve seen it, felt it. I saw the way you looked at each other today.”

  My fingers tighten of their own volition in denial, digging into the flesh of her arms. “No, he isn’t. He’s nothing but a ghost.”

  I can feel her body flinch under my hands at my biting words. She squares her shoulders. “You and I both know that he’s more than that. Caden is strong. He’ll be fine with or without me,” she says stubbornly.

  I step back, releasing her, and walk to the other side of the island. I pick up my half-eaten apple and study the browning parts of the white flesh. My voice is almost a whisper.

  “And if you die, how are you going to tell him? That he’s from another universe? That you’ve lied to him for his whole life? What’s he going to do if he comes up against a Guardian? Or worse… Vectors? His blood and Cale’s blood will be on your hands.”

  “He doesn’t have to know about–”

  A loud crash and a scream from upstairs have us both bolting like a gunshot for the staircase. The fear on Shae’s face is mirrored by the fear on mine, but her fear is rooted in losing Caden. Mine is tied to losing Cale. I take the steps up two at a time with Shae hot on my heels, weapons already in hand and prepared for the worse.

  But what awaits us is more deadly than either of us can ever imagine. The odor is unmistakable; it’s the smell of death.

  Blood, breath, and bones inside of me fall prey to an instant crippling fear.

  The Vectors are here.

  DEAD MAN WALKING

  “How many?” Shae asks me.