ARC: The Almost Girl

by Amalie Howard

  It spins me back into a whirlwind of memories – my father and I playing chess in his laboratory, my father glowing with praise at my first-place trophies for archery and swordplay, my father pinning my rank of general to my vest. It’s hard to reconcile the man I’d known as a child to the monster I now realize he is.

  The seconds drag by and still the black boots don’t move, but I can sense heavy eyes roving slowly over every inch of the space. I scan the floor in a panic, but nothing appears noticeably different from the overall chaos of the room. My eyes swivel back to the black boots. It’s so silent you could hear an eyelash fall. Neither Caden nor I are breathing.

  I’m so sure that he’s going to peer beneath the bunk that my pulse thrums and my blood rushes madly in my ears. My body tenses, and then I feel Caden’s fingers, quiet against the small of my back, stroking, soothing. They slide over and intertwine with mine. My pulse slows and calms.

  “All clear, sir,” the other voice says. “There’s no one here, now.”

  After a minute, the boots retreat and the door slides closed.

  Still, I don’t breathe properly until I hear the hum of the engine outside. Tense, I crawl silently out from under the bed and press my ear to the door. There’s no sound in the rest of the house, and the car is gone.

  We’re safe for now.

  I cross the room swiftly and pull the trophy case gently from the wall, sliding my hands along the floor. I pull back a portion of the carpet, and press the bare tiles gently, this time in a certain sequence. A soft click, and one of the tiles glides back to reveal a hidden compartment.

  Inside, there’s a box. I don’t have time to sift through all the contents, even though my heart stings at some of the treasures Shae and I had hidden there. Bits of ribbon, silver stars, letters written to our future selves.

  “What’s in there?” Caden asks.

  “Stuff we didn’t want anyone to find.” I pull out the thing I’d risked our lives to come here to get.

  A Vector’s uniform.

  Only this one is different. This one, my father recalibrated to work with my own DNA. A wry smirk twists my mouth. We were so shocked and proud that the suit responded to me – thinking my father brilliant – and little knowing that the suit responded to the nanoplasm inside of me instead of pure human DNA. The suit was designed for me.

  He knew. And he created the perfect defense for his perfect weapon. The suit is unmatched in its capabilities, offensive and defensive. No wonder he tore the room apart trying to find it, and then assumed that I’d somehow hidden it or taken it with me.

  “Let’s go,” I say to Caden. “We’re done here.”

  We sneak out the back after checking carefully to make sure we aren’t being watched, and make our way to where we’d hidden the hover bike. The journey back to Sector Seven is far quicker than the time it took to leave, and my stomach sinks as we pull into Sauer’s garage.

  Aurela’s face is blacker than a thundercloud.

  THE WINTER SOLSTICE

  Aurela is still furious, even though I’ve assured her a hundred times that we hadn’t encountered any danger. Of course, I hadn’t mentioned our near-discovery by the man himself. She would have flipped her lid and put both Caden and me on lockdown. To his credit, Caden had followed my lead like a pro, and after only an hour of intense interrogation Aurela had relented.

  We’re back in the meeting room, going over the plans one last time. I toss a casual glance at Caden, who’s sitting next to Loren. Caden’s eyes meet mine meaningfully over the table, and I’m glad I’m sitting, because my knees suddenly feel like water. Earlier, he had told me that he’d have given anything for a few more minutes before my father showed up.

  Even though I feel far older at times, Caden has more experience in the relationship area than I do. I have exactly zero skill when it comes to boys, the not-beating-them-to-a-pulp kind, I mean. Caden’s been with Sadie, and she’s not exactly the unadventurous type. Sadie is a girl who calls the shots, especially in the relationship department.

  Dragging my eyes away, I focus instead on Loren’s piercing glare. We haven’t spoken since she volunteered to be on my team, and it’s clear that she doesn’t trust me. Then again, I don’t trust her, either. I agreed for her to join us because before I exiled her, she’d been one of the best. And now, with her skills honed in the Outers, she’s only become more so. I’m not about to begrudge someone a chance to change, not after everything I’ve learned about myself.

  I turn my attention to Sauer’s computer tablet in front of me, showing a schematic of the castle. Security is near impenetrable. There are four layers of guards, two sets outside on the perimeter and two sets inside. They are only the human line of defense. There are also Vectors at each entry point. I sigh, steepling my fingers in front of me, and meet Sauer’s eyes. Getting in undetected will be a challenge for one person, far less four.

  “What are you thinking?” I ask him.

  “The Winter Games are two days away, but we still have a lot to do,” he says. “To even get past the castle guards, we’d have to register by identity chip, and technically, you’re already off the grid. So is Caden.”

  I removed my implanted birth chip the minute I decided to leave Neospes – it was incredibly painful but a necessity. At the time, I hadn’t known if the Vectors could track an implant even in another dimension, but I didn’t want to take any chances. Given that all citizens of Neospes have to be accounted for at all times, Sauer explained that both Caden and I would require new identity chips, which means fake ones, and they aren’t that easy to get. It’s tricky, because if someone dies, the system automatically records it. You have to use the chip of someone who is still alive. If someone’s chip is forcibly removed, it releases an alarm that goes straight to the Vectors. After Leila disappeared with Caden, those precautions were deemed necessary.

  Caden is frowning with a confused look on his face. “I don’t get it,” he says, staring at me. “You took your chip out three years ago. How come they didn’t get you?”

  “They did, but I killed the Vector who’d caught me. Then I everted.”

  “So basically, I need a chip, and you need a chip?”

  “Yes,” Sauer says. “And Aurela, but she already has a fake one she’s been using for years.”

  Caden’s frown deepens. “So what do we have to do, exactly?”

  Loren answers. “You get fitted with a new one. Aurela’s people have been growing fake people for years. So technically, you’ll get the chip of someone who’s only alive electronically.”

  “Wow, fake people,” Caden breathes. “That’s extreme.”

  “Extreme times call for extreme measures,” Sauer says matter-of-factly.

  Loren leans forward. “Aurela has been planning this for a long time, very, very carefully. She knew identity chips would be needed one day for those of us who’d been exiled, so she made sure we could be accounted for.” Her voice is monotone, but I avoid her stare like it’s the plague.

  “So who do I get?” Caden asks.

  “They’re all soldiers,” Sauer says, and then looks at me with a weird expression, his face reddening. “Well, most of them anyway.”

  I don’t hesitate. “What do you mean?”

  “Your identity is an… um… danseuse.” His face dulls to a dark red. “Loren was assigned the last female soldier chip.”

  My chair flies back crashing into the wall. “A what?” I scream.

  Danseuses are nothing more than paid female escorts, paid to entertain wealthy citizens of Neospes. Aurela’s calm voice breaks through my fury as she walks into the room. “It’s the best disguise for you, Riven, to infiltrate the palace. If you look like a soldier, people will recognize you. Don’t forget who you were… who you still are here.”

  But the thought of it fills me with disgust. “I’m not using the identity of a freaking floozy! Pick something else. I’ll be a cleaner, a goat trader, anything.”

  “We don’t have any other
female identity chips, Riven, and this is the best for you. Trust me,” Aurela says. She walks to stand in front of me and turns me toward her. My chest feels like it’s going to explode. I’ve never been asked to do anything more ludicrous. I’m a general, not some dancer dressed in a handkerchief! I don’t even know how to dance.

  “Aurela, I can’t.”

  Aurela’s voice is harsh, harsher than I’ve ever heard it. “You have no choice. If you don’t, we abort. It’s that simple. You want to save Cale. Well, you are the only person who can ensure his safety if we get you into the castle.” Aurela pauses with a long stare at me. “You decide.”

  I know she’s right, but I can’t reconcile wearing some kind of revealing costume with any of it. It’s a huge strike against me – Riven – the name that strikes fear into the hearts of all men will now cause ridicule. But I know that’s only my pride talking. I should do whatever I have to do to save Cale and Caden without being selfish. Being a danseuse for ten minutes is only a means to an end. A crappy, ridiculous means, but it will get the job done. I’ll get into the castle unnoticed.

  “Fine,” I snap, stalking to the far end of the room, where I pour myself a shot of spirits. I drink it quickly, ignoring its hot path searing my stomach. Loren is laughing at me, her dark eyes mocking.

  Hours later, there are three of Aurela’s lackeys in my chamber, fussing over my hair and my face and my clothes. I have never felt more conspicuous or more ridiculous. Strange dark-gold extensions have been applied and braided intricately with sweet-smelling blossoms into my own hair. My skin has been oiled to a gilded sheen and colored shimmery dust applied to my eyes and cheeks. The women gesture for me to step into my costume – a filmy white and silver getup that looks like some kind of confection instead of a dress.

  There’s a knock at the door, and one of the women answers it.

  “I’d hardly recognize you, Riven,” Aurela says. She’s dressed head-to-toe in black stealth gear, pretty much what I want to be wearing.

  Instead, I’m a porcelain doll. An ugly scowling porcelain doll.

  I turn to glare at her. “That was the point, wasn’t it?” I gesture down at myself. “I couldn’t attack a fly and win in this dress. In fact, the fly would probably try to eat me, since I look like a giant frosted cupcake.”

  “A what?”

  Belatedly realizing I’ve mentioned a food from the Otherworld that doesn’t exist here, I shrug. “Never mind. It means a delicious but totally useless food… which is what I look like.” One of the women draws me to the mirror, and my half-joking, self-deprecating words desert me completely. I don’t recognize myself.

  The girl staring at me in the mirror has glossy dark braids piled in rows along her head and draped artfully to one side. Her eyes are lined with kohl, making their normally dull gray depths vibrant and jewel-toned. Her cheeks are glittery and flushed with color, her lips glistening. The dress is impractical but undeniably lovely, falling in triangular swathes of chiffon to the ground.

  I am an imposter.

  It can’t possibly be me, but I blink and the girl does the same. I resist the urge to pick a fight with the first soldier I can find.

  “You look beautiful.” Caden’s voice is hushed and awed, and I spin around only to find my swift retort cut off from my own mouth. He is resplendent in a silk moss-green shirt and black dress pants, complete with official-looking scabbard.

  “So do you,” I blurt out, and then immediately look to Aurela, who is busy addressing one of the women who had helped get me ready. Thank the stars she didn’t notice my schoolgirl response to his appearance. I flush and Caden grins, reading me easily.

  “Thank you, my lady. I’m supposed to be your… er… partner.”

  “My what?” I splutter. “But you were supposed to be a soldier.” In a rush, I notice the lines of gold stars and royal stripes decorating his upper left breast pocket, marking his status as a lord of Neospes.

  Aurela walks over with an approving smile at Caden’s garb. “Too obvious a disguise. This way, you can be near each other without too many questions. Caden’s a wealthy lord and you’re his entertainment escort for the ball.” I can’t help the blush that heats my face at the thought of being anyone’s escort, far less Caden’s.

  “You know,” Caden begins laughing at my obvious embarrassment, “there’s a name for that where I’m from–”

  “Shut up,” I say, swearing under my breath. “Or you’ll see exactly how entertaining I can be with two sets of blades.”

  “Oh, feisty. I like that in my women.”

  “Aurela!” I protest weakly. “Really? Can’t he just be a soldier and go with Sauer? That way, I don’t end up killing him by accident or something.”

  But Aurela rolls her eyes and throws me a sling pack for my gear. It’s a form-fitting pack that I can wear around my waist under the dress. There isn’t much room under there, but I’ll be damned if I go anywhere without weapons. She also hands me some kind of frilly fan that I just stare at dumbfounded.

  “It’s a fan,” she says helpfully. My scowl deepens as I grasp the offending object as if it’s a snake. “Ready to go in ten,” she reminds us with a quickly concealed smile. I swear that she’s laughing under her breath.

  Smoothing the ruffled skirt of the dress, I turn to Caden once Aurela is a few feet away and engaged in conversation with one of her maids. “Joking aside, you don’t think I look ridiculous?”

  “I hardly recognize you,” Caden says honestly. “I mean, I’ve never seen you out of cargo pants, unless you count the time when you wore Sadie’s dress.” He winks and I choke out a startled laugh.

  “You knew about that?”

  Caden smiles drily. “I think Sadie knew about that, too, but she wasn’t going to admit it in a million years.” He shakes his head. “You have no idea how pissed-off she was.”

  “Sorry, but she deserved way worse, and you know it.”

  “Well, I wasn’t too upset. The last time you wore a dress, epic things happened, so win-win for me,” Caden says with a meaningful look, clearly referring to our last day at Horrow. He leans in so only I can hear him. “Can’t wait to see what happens this time.” At his whispered words, I can’t control the tingle that weaves its way through my body, but I fight it just the same.

  “Keep talking, my lord,” I snap with a glare, “and the only thing that’s going to happen is your ass meeting the ground, dress or no dress. Now, go away.”

  Caden backs away, hands in the air, grinning, and I stare at myself in the mirror again, blinking just to make sure it’s still me. The top of the dress is lower than anything I’ve ever worn, and I tug at the bodice uncomfortably. “Seriously Cade, I look like a stranger. This isn’t me. And how the hell am I going to fight in this?”

  “Just because you’re wearing a dress doesn’t make you a different person, Riv. Plus, Sauer’s got your suit and your sword for when we get inside. It’s just clothes… wear a tunic underneath if it’ll make you feel better. And you don’t look like a stranger; your eyes are the same, and those I’d know anywhere.”

  “I am wearing a tunic and I still feel naked,” I flash back. “And these don’t even look like my eyes. Mine are more dirt-colored than silver.”

  Caden’s glance is like velvet. “Well, they always look like this to me.”

  It’s all I can do not to melt inside, but I keep my face expressionless, then scowl slightly for good measure. I sneak one last look at the mirror and sigh.

  I have a job to do.

  Sauer and Loren are ready and waiting by the time we get downstairs. Outside, the streets are already crowded with people heading to the training fields between Sector Two and One for the Games. When evening starts to fall, everyone will eventually find their way to the castle, the final event and celebration of the Winter Solstice.

  It’s a tradition dating back to the beginning of Neospes, one of the first decrees of the then newly crowned king. It used to be a celebration of our survival after th
e War. Now, its meaning has become far more mundane – merely a way for the monarchy to fawn over itself and its power. We’ve lost sight of what’s important, as has our leadership.

  Aurela is right – I see that now. And I understand why it has to change.

  I glance at Sauer, who nods curtly in my direction as we merge into the throng of people on the street. He’s all business, a commander first and a friend second. His role as a double agent is about to end, once we wage our combined attack on the monarchy. Until today, I hadn’t realized how deep the unrest reaches… and how many followers Aurela has, not just in Sector Seven but all the sectors. She has thousands of reserve soldiers on hand if things get ugly.

  But that isn’t Aurela’s plan. She prefers a quiet, stealthy infiltration. She doesn’t want hundreds of innocent people to die, especially at the hands of the Vectors. Our population is devastated enough without diminishing it even further. Which is why we split into three groups – me, Sauer, Caden, and Loren to safeguard Cale; Aurela’s team to infiltrate the lab and locate the kill code for the Vectors; and finally, the third team to depose Murek.

  My father will have to wait until Cale is safe. Then I have my own plans for him.

  “You OK?” Caden asks, jerking me out of my murderous thoughts.

  “What?”

  “I said, are you OK?”

  “Of course,” I snap. “Why wouldn’t I be? It’s just a mission. Stay as close to me as possible. I don’t want to draw undue attention.”

  “I’m pretty sure that’s the point of how we’re dressed, but don’t worry; I won’t embarrass you. I’ll just think of it like going to prom.”

  I half-choke, half-snort on my retort. “Prom?”

  Caden grins at me. “Yeah, you know… the whole life-or-death school dance thing in my world when girls murder each other with their eyes, and guys are expected to fall in line or face certain death. Don’t worry; got it down pat.”

  Which is why I am grinning from ear to ear when Sauer announces that we are splitting from the rest of the other groups. Just before we jump into Sauer’s hovercraft, I feel Aurela’s hand on my arm.