Falling

by Meredith Bond

  My brother gave me a nod. “Very well. You have my permission. You have no need to hurry back.”

  His point was well taken—my presence was not wanted here. That was fine by me.

  “I will inform my captain-at-arms to put together a small contingent of men to accompany you,” Huw said. He left the room without a backward glance, now secure in the knowledge that no matter what, Erinne’s loyalty was with him now.

  Silence reigned for a full minute after he’d gone.

  “Is it true?” I finally asked, my throat tight and my voice low.

  “It is true that I am with child,” she answered.

  I looked at her, catching her eyes with my own. “And the father?”

  She shrugged. “It is possible that it is Huw.”

  “But is it likely? Is it… Could it be…” I needed to know. God, how I needed that tiny bit of hope that some piece of me was being cradled within her body, if not her heart.

  “I don’t know,” she admitted.

  Then I would have to go on the hope that it was mine.

  “I love you,” she whispered, emotion seeming to clog her throat. “Travel safely and return to me.” With that she fled from the room.

  David buried his face in his pillow to wipe away the tears that leaked from the corner of his eye. She had loved him then despite everything. Why could she not love him now?

  Chapter Eighteen

  A quiet night was just what Erin needed. She poured herself a glass of wine and brought her portable Bluetooth speaker into the living room, putting on her favorite Yo Yo Ma playlist, a relaxing blend of fusion and classical pieces. Maybe the soothing sound would make her feel more comfortable here. She still felt like an intruder in someone else’s apartment, but she was trying to make it more like home, trying to get used to this place.

  Sitting with her back to the window, she took a sip of her wine and let the luscious, sweet-bitter taste sit on her tongue for a moment before swallowing it. It wasn’t as full-bodied a wine as she was in the mood for, but since she could only have white—and cheap white at that—it was the best she could do.

  Leaning her head back on the cool leather sofa, she wondered what she was going to do about David. She had no idea… No, that was wrong. She knew exactly how she felt about him. If she was completely honest with herself and just went by her gut feeling, she liked the guy, possibly even loved him. But common sense kept telling her that that was ridiculous. How could she possibly love a man she hardly knew?

  That she did know him from a past life shouldn’t count; that wasn’t her life now.

  She didn’t know if he was the same person as he had been then. It certainly wouldn’t make sense for him to be. He was a product of this life and this life’s experiences. He might be a similar person, but couldn’t be the same exact person. So, how could she love him as if he were? And as if she were the same person she had been then—which, clearly she wasn’t.

  It was too confusing!

  Her phone interrupted her musings.

  She jumped up and ran to find where she’d left it. It took her a moment, but she found it in the kitchen and grabbed it just before the call went to voicemail.

  “Erin, it’s Hugh. I’m downstairs. Let me in. I want to talk.”

  Erin closed her eyes for a moment. Did she really want to deal with him? Did she really have a choice? He had to have guessed that she was home, or perhaps she could lie and tell him she wasn’t, since the call did go to her cell… But she was such a bad liar, he would be able to catch her out right away, even over the phone.

  No. She did the only thing she could. She pressed nine and heard the door buzz to let him into the building, regretting it with everything she had.

  A few minutes later, she opened the door for him.

  “Hey,” she said, taking a step back so that he could come in.

  “Hi.” He followed her down the stairs and into the living room. As always, her eyes were drawn to the pale light filtering in through the closed shades. It was just the street lights at this time of night, but still the glow was there, reminding her of the sky so close, just waiting for her.

  She didn’t offer him a glass of wine. She didn’t want him to make himself comfortable. She didn’t want him to stay.

  She didn’t even sit or make herself comfortable on the sofa. She turned her back to the sky, placed herself in the middle of the room, and crossed her arms over her chest, waiting for him to inform her of why he was there.

  He looked from her glass of wine, sitting on the table, back to her, and clearly got her point. He pursed his lips. “Not even going to be hospitable, I see.”

  “Why are you here?” she asked, not bothering to answer him.

  He placed a pleasant expression on his face, even though she could feel his heart wasn’t in it. He took a step closer to her and caressed his hand down her arm. “I wanted to see how you were doing.”

  She flinched away from his touch.

  “And to see if I couldn’t do anything to make you change your mind,” he added, dropping his hand to his side.

  “No, there isn’t.”

  “Erin, I just don’t understand why you feel such animosity toward me all of a sudden. Did I do something?” His expression showed the face of a man concerned, but Erin sent a tendril of magic out to see what he was actually feeling. She couldn’t tell exactly, but it certainly wasn’t concern for her. For himself maybe?

  Erin sighed and turned away. “I’m not mad at you, I just don’t like the way you’ve been assuming that what I want and what you want are the same thing. They’re not. I’m growing, Hugh, and learning more about myself. I’m thinking about my future and whether I even want to stay in politics.”

  “You love politics!” he exclaimed.

  “No, I love helping people. But I’m beginning to think that politics isn’t the way I should be doing that.”

  He shook his head. “But then how would you? What are thinking of?”

  “I don’t know.” She shrugged. Perhaps something with the Vallen. Perhaps something entirely different. She truly didn’t know. But she did know that with all sorts of new avenues to explore, Hugh was just holding her back.

  “This isn’t about that magic nonsense you and that lawyer were researching, is it?”

  “His name is David, and no,” she lied.

  “You’re not thinking of going all frou-frou and becoming a Wiccan or anything?” he asked, a slight smile on his face as if he were laughing at the idea.

  She just frowned at him. “No. I’m not becoming Wiccan. I’m just not sure that…” she paused. This was going nowhere. “Listen, Hugh, you’ve got a great career ahead of you. You’re a fantastic networker and really know how to spin a debate your way. That’s great. I wish you well, really. I just don’t want to be a part of your world anymore, okay?”

  His eyes glittered for a moment with anger, but he suppressed it. “No, that’s not okay. I don’t want to see a talented, brilliant woman drop out of politics on a whim. We made a great couple. A great team. With your knowledge, charm, and contacts—and mine—we were getting really close to being able to do something significant. I don’t want to jeopardize that. Staying together will give us both opportunities that we wouldn’t have solo.”

  She re-crossed her arms. “It would give you opportunities, you mean.”

  “No. When I say both, I mean it.”

  “But I don’t want them,” she enunciated clearly, since he obviously wasn’t getting it.

  “Erin…”

  “Hugh! Stop! It’s done, it’s over. Leave it alone. Find someone else. There are so many eager, intelligent women on the Hill. I’m certain you can find at least one who would be more than willing to be your partner in your endeavors, if not also in your bed.”

  His hand flew, slapping her across her face before she even realized what he was doing.

  “Mr. Bly, feel free to leave. Now!” Congressman Whitmeyer’s voice boomed from the stair just inside the
door.

  Erin had no idea how long he’d been standing there. She’d been so focused on Hugh she hadn’t heard him come in. His timing was impeccable, though. Her cheek stung with both the slap and her own mortification. Her stomach somersaulted and she sank down onto the sofa, before her knees gave out on her.

  Hugh looked at her, hatred and anger pouring out of him. “We’re not done,” he whispered for her ears alone, before turning and marching out the door.

  “I don’t know what the hell you’re doing, Miss Freyn, but it doesn’t look to me to be a very good game,” the congressman said, walking farther into the apartment.

  “It’s not a game, sir. I broke up with him, and he’s not taking it very well,” she explained.

  “Clearly.” There was no softness in his face. No sympathy. “Now if you wouldn’t mind, Suzanne is going to be here within half an hour.”

  Erin dropped her head into her hands. Really? Now, he decides to throw her out? Fantastic!

  With a deep breath, she gave a nod and stood, taking her wine glass with her. She reached down to take her speaker, but the congressman stopped her saying, “Leave that. It will set the mood very nicely.”

  Erin stifled a groan at the images his statement conjured up. She really didn’t want to be thinking of her boss and former mentor in that way.

  Pausing to dump the remains of her wine into the sink and put her glass into the dishwasher, Erin went to her room and packed a quick overnight bag. She was out the door within ten minutes, with nowhere to go.

  She just stood on the street wondering what she was going to do now. She couldn’t go to David’s; she had closed that door the night before. Lanie was probably entertaining Ibrahim, or vice versa. In either case, she couldn’t go there. And she’d had a huge fight with her mother the last time she’d gone home.

  The park in the center of DuPont Circle looked inviting, but it was bound to get cold as the night wore on, and she didn’t have a blanket.

  She turned toward the metro station. Her parents’ house it was—the best of bad options.

  Chapter Nineteen

  Erin walked the mile and a half to her parents’ house from the metro station. It was a pleasant evening, and she really wasn’t sure what sort of reception she would get when she got there, so it just seemed safer than calling and asking to be picked up.

  Her father’s head peaked out the door from the den after she let herself into the house. Both cats came to investigate, but Ben, her father’s dog, must have been asleep since he didn’t make an appearance as usual.

  “Hey, Erin! What are you doing here?” her father asked. He came out to give her a hug. She could hear some TV show playing in the background.

  “Hey, Dad. I was wondering if you wouldn’t mind if I stayed the night,” she said, after giving him a tight hug back. No matter how old you were, there was nothing like a loving hug from Daddy—and after the evening she’d had so far, she especially needed it.

  “That no-good boss of yours throw you out the apartment?” he asked.

  She laughed. “Yeah.”

  “What about David?” her Dad asked, with a wiggle of his eyebrows.

  Erin shifted her feet. “Things are a little awkward just now. I mean, I like him—a lot—it’s just…”

  Her father took pity on her. “It’s okay, sweetie, your bedroom is always here for you. You know that. And we’ll never toss you out so that your mom and I can fool around.” He gave her a wink.

  “Thanks, Dad…” She couldn’t decide if she was grossed out by the thought of her parents having sex or happy they still had a loving relationship. She decided it would be best to avoid thinking about it at all. “Changing the subject…”

  He laughed. “Can’t get away from that one too fast, can you?”

  “No. Really!” she agreed. She then asked warily, “Is Mom still pissed at me?”

  “No, she’s not,” her mother answered, coming down the stairs.

  “Oh! Hi, Mom. I didn’t see you,” Erin said, turning toward her mother. She was a little surprised and very happy to be given as loving a hug from her mother as she’d received from her father.

  “I’m not mad at you, Erin,” her mother said, pulling away after squeezing the breath out of her. “I wasn’t mad to begin with. I just…didn’t think you should be asking such questions.”

  Erin cocked her head. “Didn’t? Does that mean you’ve changed your mind?”

  Her mother pursed her lips, thinking about it. While she was doing so, Erin’s father cleared his throat, loud and meaningfully. “I’m going back to my TV show. Why don’t you two go into the kitchen and talk.” He gave a very pointed look at her mom before returning to the den.

  Erin followed her mother into the kitchen and immediately started making some herbal tea. “Perhaps a cup of chamomile will ease things a bit?” she said. The room still smelled of the spaghetti and tomato sauce her parents must have had for dinner.

  Out of habit, Erin picked up the clean, wet pot from the counter and started drying it. It was the responsibility of whoever didn’t cook to wash up, but it had always been Erin’s job to dry and put away.

  Her mother gave her a smile. Sitting down at the table, she said, “Your father and I discussed it. As you probably could tell, he thinks I should tell you everything I know.”

  Erin looked at her mother expectantly before turning to put the pot away. “I would appreciate that.”

  Her mother sighed. “The thing is, Erin, I really don’t know much.”

  “But you do know something.” The kettle on the stove began to whistle. Erin poured the boiling water over the tea bags in each cup then took them and the honey to the table.

  They busied themselves silently, each fixing their own tea the way they liked it.

  Her mother took a sip before she started. “You know that your grandmother came here from Britain.”

  Erin nodded.

  “She refused to tell me why she did so, merely saying that she was unhappy with the expectations her family had of her. She wanted a new life far removed from the one she’d been living, and from her own family.”

  “But she didn’t say why?” Erin asked, after burning her tongue on the hot tea.

  “No. She refused to discuss it. In fact, she refused to discuss anything relating to the Vallen or magic. It was only when my siblings and I started doing magic inadvertently that she finally said something. She might have talked to my older siblings earlier, I honestly don’t know. There was twelve years between me and my oldest sister.” She paused to take another sip of her tea. “But what she said to us that I do remember was that our magic was something we had to hide. We couldn’t let anyone know that we had any powers, and we needed to do our best to not use them.”

  Erin’s mom gave her a little smile. “I was the exception to that rule when we were young because I had the ability to heal. If anyone got hurt, when no ordinary person was watching, it was my responsibility to mend them. It was mainly scrapes and bruises but...” She laughed. “I remember when my brother Bobby broke his collar bone after falling off his bike. I went running and was about to fix it, when our neighbor ran out to see how badly he was hurt. She had already called 911, so poor Bobby had to deal with going to the hospital and having his arm in a sling for weeks. He wasn’t happy about it because it meant that he couldn’t play football that season. He always called that neighbor Mrs. Nosybody after that. I forget what her real name was, Mrs. Newsome or something.”

  Erin laughed but then got serious again. “So you did do magic…”

  “When no one was looking, and it was only me who was allowed to do so,” her mother clarified. But she was clearly torn and confused by this.

  “What is it?” Erin asked.

  Her mom stopped her cup midway to her lips. “What?”

  “You’re uncomfortable about something. Confused,” Erin said, reaching out with her magic to try a get a better read on her mother’s emotions.

  Her mother frowned
at her but shook it off. She seemed to be forcing herself to open up. Taking a deep breath, she said, “My mother’s rules were conflicting. No one was allowed to use their magic in my family. We were taught that it was bad and wrong. But I was allowed. She never told me that using my magic was bad. It made me feel…awkward. I knew that my abilities were special. I could heal people. It was for that reason that I supposed my mother allowed me to use them. But when your Uncle Bryan was a teenager, he and my mother got into a huge fight about it. He said it wasn’t fair that I was allowed to use my healing magic when he couldn’t use his talents. My mother said that I was special.”

  Her mother frowned into her tea. “Which, naturally, told my brother that she didn’t think he was.”

  “What did you do?” Erin asked, shocked at the pain her grandmother had inflicted on her children.

  Her mother shrugged. “I said that if Bryan couldn’t use his healing magic then it wasn’t right for me to do so either. From then on, I refused to use magic at all.” She gave a sad smile. “My mother was furious with both of us for a few days, and then she agreed with me. After that there was only one other time that I intentionally used my magic.”

  “And that was because of me,” Erin’s father said, coming into the room, followed by Ben. He dropped an empty beer bottle into the recycling bin and took a sip of his wife’s tea, as the dog sniffed around the table.

  “What happened?” Erin asked, giving the Saint Bernard a scratch behind his ears.

  “Reece…” her mother said in a warning tone.

  He just laughed. “I cajoled her into using her magic, trying it out. Suffice it to say, she didn’t have very good control in those days—probably because her mother never let her practice—and well, she—”

  “I accidentally hurt people,” her mother said, interrupting.

  “Oh no!” Erin exclaimed.

  “It’s okay. No one was seriously injured,” her father said, moving behind her mother and rubbing her shoulders.

  “You may think so now,” her mother said, “but it was serious stuff. I could have killed someone! No, I tell you, Erin, it is much better for everyone that no one—not me or anyone else—use these powers. They can be used to kill or hurt people, to take unfair advantage of people, to make them do things they don’t want to do. It’s all around a bad thing to have and to do.”