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Which Lie Did I Tell?: More Adventures in the Screen Trade

Page 33

by William Goldman

He has been shot, and seriously; lying in the gutter.

  CUT TO

  A HOSPITAL CORRIDOR. ECHO AND JIMMY sit pale and waiting.

  CUT TO

  THE BEACH BY THE MANSION. CLIMBER, recovering, sits covered by a blanket in a chair. ECHO sits alongside him, reading to him, a look of such adoration in her eyes.

  CUT TO

  CLIMBER, night, slumped over the wheel of his car, bleeding much worse than the first time. He looks very close to dying.

  CUT TO

  ECHO AND THE CLIMBER, in the city. She holds his arm. He is walking with a cane.

  CUT TO

  A FORMAL DINNER PARTY AT THE MANSION. CLIMBER clearly has his strength back--he has just finished clobbering another guest, who is reeling back, his lip bleeding. ECHO, too late, is rushing to the scene.

  CUT TO

  SHIRLEY SINCLAIR JONES--ten minutes old--he is their firstborn and right now he is screaming--ECHO AND THE CLIMBER look at him--with amazement and such pride.

  CUT TO

  SHIRLEY SINCLAIR JONES--three years old now-- and it's another hospital room and he is with his parents and they are all looking at the newest arrival--PHOEBE JONES herself, and it's her turn to be ten minutes old. Less amazement this time, even more pride.

  CUT TO

  CHRISTMAS MORNING. A giant tree. It's a few months later. SHIRLEY is four now, and already gorgeous. PHOEBE is one, and already not. Their parents hold them in their arms--

  -- and this much you know: they could not look happier.

  And on their radiant faces--

  CREDITS COME TO AN END.

  FADE OUT.

  FADE IN ON

  THE MANSION. Perfect autumn morning. Warm, no humidity, slight breeze.

  Here comes the CLIMBER, driving up the driveway. He stops by the front door and does something we don't expect--

  --he stays in the car, honks a few times. As he does this--

  CUT TO

  ECHO. We're behind her as she walks down the enormous second-floor corridor, calling out.

  ECHO

  Children, your father's here.

  We hear their reaction--not a joyous one.

  CUT TO

  ECHO, we're still behind her as she turns into the nearest bedroom.

  ECHO

  None of that now.

  CUT TO

  THE BEDROOM and SHIRLEY standing there--ten years old now. He is a perfectly beautiful young man, slender and brilliant. He is finishing a charcoal sketch of the view from his window--the kid is talented.

  SHIRLEY

  Why do we have to go, Mother? It's so boring. You should hear him try and make conversation. Once he gets off the Knicks, death. He has nothing whatsoever of interest to say.

  ECHO

  That's not exactly new news, buster, I was married to him.

  (starting out)

  Now I've got wonderful Philharmonic tickets for you.

  SHIRLEY

  That will certainly help.

  CUT TO

  THE GREAT PHOEBE. She is lying on her bed in terrible agony. She wears ballet clothes. Her face bears a kind of weird resemblance to Edward G. Robinson.

  PHOEBE

  I can't go. I'm burning up.

  ECHO

  Oh, same song, second verse. It's only overnight.

  (she paddles PHOEBE lightly)

  CUT TO

  DOWNSTAIRS by the front door.

  ECHO is examining her troops. They are perfectly groomed, beautifully dressed. Their manners are beyond reproach.

  ECHO, it should be noted, no longer looks like the Audrey Hepburn of Roman Holiday. Now she's a ringer for the Hepburn of Breakfast at Tiffany's. ECHO is thirty-two years old, and still pretty much perfect.

  ECHO

  Now listen, you two--I am sick of your behavior. You father adores you, he cannot help his limitations. He is as brave as anyone on earth, and I want you to enjoy your weekends. As of now, your whining days are done. Capiche?

  (they nod)

  CUT TO

  ECHO as she opens the front door. There is a small mirror nearby and for an instant only, she checks her appearance. All is well. As the door opens--

  CUT TO

  THE CLIMBER. There's a world-weariness now. Bogart in Casablanca. Mid-forties, the accompanying flecks of gray.

  He nods to his children. It's kind of sad--he's awkward, kind of fumbling, at a loss for what to say.

  CLIMBER

  (a dumb little wave)

  Hi, kids--

  (they say nothing at all, just stare at him as if he were from another planet. This makes his nervousness worse)

  Oh boy, are we going to have fun.

  (THE KIDS hug ECHO, get into CLIMBER'S backseat)

  You guys want to sit up front with Pop?

  PHOEBE

  Not really.

  SHIRLEY

  We're fine, Dad.

  (he hides his hurt, talks to his ex)

  CUT TO

  ECHO AND THE CLIMBER.

  ECHO

  (handing him an envelope)

  Philharmonic--all-Bartok program--they couldn't be more thrilled.

  (hands him a large basket)

  Cook made this for their dinner--all from the health-food store. And their breakfast cereals have been ground for them. Just put this all in the fridge.

  (beat)

  You do have one?

  CLIMBER

  (ignoring this)

  Maybe next week they might like a Yankee game.

  ECHO

  At least you didn't suggest a tractor pull in New Jersey.

  CLIMBER

  (soft)

  You are so tough.

  ECHO

  Had a tough husband.

  (going to the car)

  Three tomorrow, darlings.

  CLIMBER

  (whipped, he gets in the front. Nods to her)

  Echo.

  ECHO

  Climber.

  (as he turns on the motor)

  CUT TO

  ECHO, waving after them.

  CUT TO

  THE KIDS in the backseat, kneeling, looking at her, waving back.

  CUT TO

  Inside the car. Dead silence. THE KIDS stare out the back as ECHO gets smaller and smaller.

  CLIMBER drives through the enormous estate.

  A TURN now. ECHO disappears.

  THE KIDS sit in the back.

  Still the silence.

  CLIMBER

  (an odd thing to say)

  Not yet.

  (THE KIDS look at him)

  Gardeners.

  (THE KIDS nod)

  CUT TO

  THE CAR, driving toward the giant entrance gates, passing several gardeners, who wave to the children, who wave back.

  CUT TO

  THE GIANT GATES as the car passes through, hits the main road, and the instant that happens--

  CUT TO

  INSIDE THE CAR.

  CLIMBER (CONT'D)

  Safe.

  (and on that, the KIDS peel into the front seat, grab for him)

  Hey, Loves.

  THE KIDS (TOGETHER)

  (as they embrace their father)

  Hey, Climber.

  (and on that)

  CUT TO

  THE CAR, roaring through the gorgeous morning toward the most magical city of all. HOLD on the three, all crammed together in the front seat.

  CUT TO

  LINCOLN CENTER, early afternoon. Crowds waiting for the ballet and the Philharmonic and the opera and the theater and all the other stuff.

  CUT TO

  THE CLIMBER, driving slowly along the inner road where cabs drop people off. He stops the car, gets out.

  THE KIDS stay in the car, watching him.

  CUT TO

  THE CLIMBER hurrying to a guy. ANOTHER FATHER. He has his two kids with him, boy and a girl, same age as SHIRLEY AND PHOEBE. Look a lot alike. CLIMBER hands over the Bartok tickets. THE OTHER FATHER is just thrilled. So are the kids.
The little girl curtseys, the boy gives CLIMBER a firm handshake. That's it.

  CUT TO

  SHIRLEY AND PHOEBE as CLIMBER gets back in the car, starting to drive.

  SHIRLEY

  He's divorced too, isn't he?

  CLIMBER

  (a sweeping gesture, taking in the crowds)

  Shirley, my beloved--every human being within view is happily divorced. If you saw this morning's Times you must have noted the headline that said it is now illegal in Manhattan to rent an apartment to anyone who still claims to be married.

  PHOEBE

  Why do you always give them our tickets, I wonder?

  (CLIMBER says nothing)

  It should be noted here that when PHOEBE phrases a question in this way, she is not necessarily looking for the answer.

  PHOEBE (CONT'D)

  Is it because they look like us, I wonder?

  (beat--she looks at CLIMBER now)

  Mommy would never have us followed.

  CLIMBER

  I know--it's her asshole fiance I'm worried about.

  PHOEBE

  Language!

  (beat--softly)

  He is an asshole, isn't he?

  CLIMBER

  (arm around her tight)

  That's my girl.

  (Now from that--)

  CUT TO

  OUTSIDE A PACKED VILLAGE COFFEEHOUSE. In a far corner on the sidewalk, CLIMBER AND SHIRLEY. CLIMBER silently sips his coffee, pays no attention to his son. SHIRLEY doodles away at a large sketch pad, pays no attention to his father.

  Now here comes JIMMY around the corner. We haven't seen him since the wedding-day photo. The intervening years have been hard. He looks old, needs a cane.

  He kisses his grandchild on the top of the head, sits next to CLIMBER.

  JIMMY

  The reason I was called away from Derek Jeter is ...?

  CLIMBER

  I think they're ready.

  JIMMY

  (he doesn't)

  You weren't till you were fifteen.

  (to the boy)

  Let's have the pad, Shirl.

  (SHIRLEY hands it over)

  CUT TO

  JIMMY looking at the top page. It's a very clean drawing of a middle-aged man we've never seem before. JIMMY looks at SHIRLEY questioningly: he nod across the street and we

  CUT TO

  ANOTHER COFFEEHOUSE. Really packed. Half a dozen tables outside.

  CUT TO

  A MAN sitting by himself at the other coffeehouse. Kind of a vague resemblance to SHIRLEY'S drawing.

  CUT TO

  JIMMY. He takes some little opera glasses out of his pocket, looks at nothing much for a moment, then casually trains them on the man across the street.

  CUT TO

  THE MAN ACROSS THE STREET. Coming into focus.

  He looks exactly like SHIRLEY'S notebook sketch.

  CUT TO

  THE CLIMBER'S TABLE. SHIRLEY is holding his breath. So is CLIMBER.

  JIMMY

  (pleased, but you can't tell)

  How long have you been here?

  CLIMBER

  Twenty minutes.

  JIMMY

  (nope-- to SHIRLEY)

  It's promising work, Shirl.

  SHIRLEY

  What's wrong with it?

  JIMMY

  (carefully--he loves the kid but the kid's sensitive)

  Nothing, not a thing, but if we need a sketch guy--if we're somewhere, say, where it's not safe to trot out a camera, well, it's gotta be quick, bam, gone. Work on your speed, kid.

  (starts to hand the pad back)

  SHIRLEY

  Grandpa, Grandpa--please--

  (very soft)

  --turn the page.

  (JIMMY shrugs, flips the page and we)

  CUT TO

  SHIRLEY's SKETCHBOOK. It's another exact drawing, this one of the couple in the next table across the street.

  JIMMY give the kid a glance, turns again--

  CUT TO

  THE SKETCH PAD. Yet another perfectly accurate drawing of the third table.

  JIMMY gives the kid another glance, a beat longer, then as the page is turned a final time--

  CUT TO

  THE LAST DRAWING. A VERY THIN WOMAN IN HUGE DARK GLASSES. Fighting back tears. A VERY RICH MAN sits alongside. Clearly embarrassed.

  One other thing about this sketch--not only are they accurately depicted, the clock high on the wall is included--2:25.

  JIMMY

  (holding it in-- to CLIMBER)

  Jesus--he put the clock in.

  CLIMBER

  I told you he was ready.

  JIMMY

  (making sure)

  All since you sat down?

  SHIRLEY

  Grandpa?

  (and he hands over another piece of paper. This from a small notepad he holds in his hands.)

  CUT TO

  THE DRAWING. It's of JIMMY in the clothes he's wearing. Obviously whipped off since the old man sat down.

  SHIRLEY (CONT'D)

  I've been working on my speed.

  CUT TO

  JIMMY. Just thrilled, but he would rather die than show it.

  JIMMY

  Like I said, promising.

  (looking around)

  Where's Phoebes?

  (no answer)

  Oh, I get it, come out, come out...

  (he looks round the coffeehouse. Nothing. Now he looks across at the other one.)

  CUT TO

  Same old shot we've seen. The people SHIRLEY sketched, including the CRYING SKINNY WOMAN AND THE RICH EMBARRASSED MAN and the ragamuffin playing in the gutter near their table and

  --hmmm--

  CUT TO

  JIMMY, looking at the sketch pad of the couple and sure enough, at the very bottom of the drawing, there's the ragamuffin. She's small, smudged face, tattered clothes.

  Now JIMMY gets out his opera glasses again, focuses them and

  CUT TO

  PHOEBE, sitting quietly, playing in the gutter.

  CUT TO

  CLIMBER AND HIS DAD AND HIS SON, watching.

  JIMMY

  She's seven!

  CLIMBER

  She's got genius inside her, Pop.

  JIMMY

  Besides the memory, what else?

  CLIMBER

  She can go anyplace, follow anybody--

  JIMMY

  Get a grip--we can follow anybody--

  SHIRLEY

  --she's not afraid, Grandpa--

  JIMMY

  (final)

  --seven is seven, kid, end of report.

  (and on that)

  CUT TO

  JIMMY. CLOSE UP. And suddenly the old man is stunned.

  CUT TO

  THE OTHER COFFEE SHOP. THE THIN WOMAN AND THE EMBARRASSED MAN pay, rise, start walking away--

  --PHOEBE is walking away, too--ahead of them--

  CUT TO

  JIMMY, dazed.

  JIMMY

  She's pulling ... a front tail.

  CLIMBER

  (a little shocked himself)

  I ... never showed her--

  JIMMY

  --I know you didn't, you can't do it--

  CUT TO

  THE COUPLE, walking along, talking intently about whatever, while just in front of him, totally ignored, this kid moves quietly.

  CUT TO

  THE CLIMBER'S TABLE.

  JIMMY

  (shakes his head)

  --OK, it's a risk, but they're ready.

  CLIMBER puts two fingers in his mouth, a loud and very distinctive whistle--on the sound--

  CUT TO

  PHOEBE, turning with a pained "Now--you want me now?" look on her face.

  Again the whistling sound. She stops, lets the couple go on past her alone, glances both ways, then dashes across the street to her family as we

  CUT TO

  A DOWNTOWN KOSHER DELI. A LARGE REAR TABLE--

  --stuffed with food. Corn
ed beef and pastrami and potato pancakes and salami and chopped liver and turkey and pickles and kraut and schmaltz and seltzer bottles and a couple of beers.

  THE CLIMBER AND THE KIDS AND JIMMY sit hunched over, scarfing down. Throughout this, they never stop eating.

  SHIRLEY

  Want us to bring anything special?

  CLIMBER

  For?

  PHOEBE

  For our first case, Daddy. Speaking for Shirley, may I say we could not be more excited.

  CLIMBER

  Where'd the "may I say" come from?

  SHIRLEY

  Trip likes it.

  JIMMY

  Trip?

  (SHIRLEY mouths the word "asshole"--PHOEBE mouths the word "language.")

  The new guy, got it.

  SHIRLEY

  (to JIMMY)

  When will you know what it's going to be?

  JIMMY

  We were not at that coffeehouse by accident, Shirl.

  (THE KIDS look at him)

  Remember the crying woman with the sunglasses?

  (THEY do)

  Her husband hired us.

  SHIRLEY

  (excited)

  Phoebes, we're already detectives.

  CUT TO

  PHOEBE as she lifts her seltzer bottle into toasting position.

  PHOEBE

  To the Big A.

  SHIRLEY raises his bottle, too. JIMMY AND THE CLIMBER just watch. They put the bottles down.

  JIMMY

  This ain't the Big A. It's just a case--big A's don't come along all that often. I only had a couple my whole life.

  PHOEBE

  But couldn't it be?

  CUT TO

  THE CLIMBER. CLOSE UP. Watching his beloveds.

  CLIMBER

  Life's got to be on the line, Phoebes. Love's gotta be there, too. You just know when you're on the Big Adventure, that if you survive it, nothing's ever going to be the same...

  CUT TO

  THE KIDS stop eating. Stare at their dad. Then--

  SHIRLEY

  How many have you had, Daddy?

  CLIMBER

  (beat)

  Just the one...

  (HOLD on the CLIMBER for a moment, then--)

  CUT TO

  CLIMBER'S PLACE. Night.

  Pretty much the same. Still clean, still all the big TV sets.

  The main change in decor is that the living room has been turned into two makeshift bedrooms. A sheet hangs from a sagging curtain as a room divider. PHOEBE'S half has dolls piled on the bed, that's about it.

  Bedtime. Both kids are in the sack, the blanket hasn't been lowered. CLIMBER is finishing telling them a story.

  CLIMBER

  (with more emotion than you would expect)

  "And as he stared at the bloody face of his murdered partner, Sam Spade knew he could not rest until the score was even."

  SHIRLEY

  Have you ever had a partner murdered, Poppa?

  CLIMBER

  Only had my dad.

  SHIRLEY

  But if you did have one, and he was killed, you couldn't rest till the score was even, could you?

  CLIMBER

  (tucking him in)

  I'd track the bastard down.

  PHOEBE

  I don't like saying "language," you know.

  CLIMBER

  My apology.

  He lowers the curtain between their beds. SHIRLEY is half asleep already. Now CLIMBER goes to PHOEBE, brings her a bunch of books to read, tilts her bed lamp away from her brother, tucks her in, too. They whisper "Night" and he leaves her.

  CUT TO

  THE CLIMBER in the little hallway now, watching her.

  Troubled.

  Then he goes to his little room, slaps in a tape of a Knicks game, hits the mute button and as Sprewell explodes down the court--

 

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