Hal Spacejock Omnibus One

by Simon Haynes

  Hal stared at him. "You're winding me up."

  "No, that's a literal translation."

  "Did the words 'Gee, this might be dangerous' not occur to you?"

  "They did, only the third backup site sounded far worse."

  "Worse than eyes of death?"

  "I didn't want to worry you unnecessarily."

  "It's a bit late for that." Hal looked at the hill, which was growing rapidly. "We're getting a bit close. Why don't we pull up and scout around for a while?"

  "Because we're over here, and the hill is over there."

  "Yeah, but the death thing is over there too. Can't we just circle for a bit?"

  "A straight line is the shortest distance between two points," said Clunk.

  "And the quickest way to get killed by eyes of death is to drive right at them."

  "Don't be concerned. Most things on this planet have deteriorated, and I doubt the defences could pick up a fast-moving vehicle like this."

  BLAM!

  Hal covered his face as the front of the groundcar disappeared in a welter of fragments. Beside him, Clunk wrestled with the controls, trying desperately to turn the vehicle away from the hill. He almost succeeded, but the shattered nose dipped towards the ground, touched and dug in. The vehicle ploughed a furrow, slewed round and came to a stop on its side.

  "Get out!" shouted Clunk. "Quick, Mr Spacejock!"

  Hal kicked open the buckled door and threw himself headlong through the opening, landing flat on his face in the dirt. He looked round for Clunk and saw the robot struggling to free Sonya's briefcase.

  "Leave it!" shouted Hal. "Come on, move!"

  Clunk gave an almighty heave and dived clear, tucking the briefcase under his arm as he landed on the hard ground. He rolled over and sprang to his feet just as something slammed into the groundcar, hurling hot metal and dirt into the air.

  "Run!" shouted Clunk. "Take cover!"

  There was a small rocky outcrop nearby, and they dived behind it as another shot slammed into the groundcar.

  Clunk looked back at the shattered vehicle with a critical eye. "I think you were right. We should have circled the hill first."

  "It's a bit late for that." Hal ducked as another shot whizzed overhead. "Now what do we do?"

  "Twenty-seven seconds," said Clunk.

  "What?"

  "That's the recharge time. All we have to do is make our move in between shots."

  Hal risked a glance at the hill. It was two or three hundred metres away, and the only cover was a pair of small rocks half-buried in the sand. As he watched, he saw a flash between the trees. A split second later, something hit the groundcar. "I saw it, Clunk. A light on the slope."

  Clunk popped his head up and looked towards the hill. Almost half a minute passed before the flash repeated. There was a crackling roar behind them as the groundcar exploded, showering them with fragments.

  "There goes our ride," said Hal, flicking red-hot splinters from his dusty flight suit. "And the third backup site is the dangerous one, right?"

  "We can time it," said Clunk. "After the next shot, we'll have just over twenty seconds to find cover."

  Hal looked at the rocks on the approach to the hill. "Reckon we can make it?"

  "You don't have to reach the rocks. Even if you're five or six metres short, you should still be able to get behind them. The turret won't be able to see you."

  "Is that what's firing at us?"

  Clunk nodded. "It must be self-powered. It's far too potent for solar."

  "Can't you just order it to stop firing?"

  "I have no means of communication."

  Hal peered round the rock. "Exactly how long did you say the interval was?"

  "Twenty-seven seconds."

  "So why hasn't it fired again?"

  "Because the flyer has been destroyed and we're under cover."

  "So if we move, it shoots?"

  "Correct."

  "Doesn't that make it a little hard to time our run?"

  Clunk picked up a rock. "I'll throw this to attract the turret. Ready?"

  Hal gathered himself, then nodded.

  Clunk threw the rock over the boulder. Immediately there was a blast of hot air, followed by a shower of pebbles and dirt. "Run!" shouted the robot, leaping up.

  Hal sprang from cover and belted towards the rocks. Close behind, Clunk's flat feet thudded on the dirt.

  "If … short drop and lie … still," panted Clunk, whose fans were struggling to keep his circuits cool.

  Hal's lungs burned as he pounded across the plain. Long before he reached the rocks, he heard a shout.

  "Down!" yelled the robot.

  Hal threw himself at the ground, grazing his hands on the dry, gritty soil. There was a huge explosion, and when he raised his head the air was thick with swirling dust. "Clunk?" he called.

  "Come on, Mr Spacejock!" cried the robot from somewhere ahead.

  Hal sprang up and ran blindly through the dust, leaping small rocks and dodging larger ones. His breath came in ragged gasps as he approached the foot of the hill. Ahead, Clunk was standing with his back to a tree.

  "Quickly!" called the robot.

  "Get … stuffed!" panted Hal. He staggered across several metres of sparse, springy grass and threw himself at a thick tree trunk. He tensed, waiting for the blast. Nothing happened.

  "Can you find another rock?" called Clunk.

  Hal looked at the barren ground. "Nope."

  "Me neither. We might be safe now we're in the trees."

  "You thought we were safe approaching the hill," Hal pointed out.

  "I can't be right all the time." There was a silence. "I'm getting an idea."

  "I don't want to hear it."

  "If we both step out from behind our respective trees at precisely the same time, the turret may be unable to choose between us."

  "Two things wrong with that. First, we might not get the timing right and whoever appears first will have their head blown off."

  "Correct."

  "And two, even if we both appear at the same time, it might decide that one is better than none."

  "What do you suggest?"

  "Me? I think we shouldn't have driven so close to the hill."

  "It's a bit late for that," said the robot.

  "I know, I just thought it was worth mentioning. If you hadn't been so sure of yourself —"

  "We jump on three. Ready?"

  "I guess."

  "One, two, THREE!"

  Hal pushed off, but his foot slipped under him and he hit the deck with a thud. He saw a flash of bronze as the robot streaked away, and heard a whirr as the turret tracked its target. "Clunk!" he yelled.

  The robot skidded to a halt. "Coming, Mr Spacejock!" he cried, taking off again, this time towards Hal. Behind him, the turret whirred around, aiming at the back of his head.

  "No, you stupid twit!" yelled Hal. "I fell."

  Clunk stopped. "I thought —"

  "Duck! Get down, the turret's going to —"

  The gun fired with an ear-shattering roar, drowning out the rest of his words. A jet of flame several metres long stabbed from the barrel, and Clunk was knocked into the bushes, arms and legs flailing. Seconds later there was a huge explosion amongst the boulders on the plain.

  "Clunk?" called Hal. "Clunk, are you all right?"

  Chapter 27

  Rex activated the jump motor, which howled behind him as it built up to speed. It reached a crescendo and the stars flickered out, only to reappear in a new configuration. As the hyperspace motor whirred back to silence, Rex confirmed his destination was in sight and began to make preparations for landing.

  *

  Hal stared into the bushes. "Clunk, are you there? Can you hear me?"

  "Yes, Mr Spacejock. It's just a scratch." The robot popped up from the greenery, his left shoulder mangled where it had taken the glancing impact. "We still have twenty seconds to reach cover."

  Hal suddenly realised he was standing in full
view of the squat, menacing turret. He turned to stare at it and saw a small door set into the concrete base. "Make for that," he shouted, breaking into a run. Seconds later he was leaning against the warm concrete, while above him the turret jerked left and right, trying to acquire a target.

  "We should be safe down here," said Clunk, thumping into the wall alongside him.

  "That shoulder doesn't look good."

  "It's useable."

  "Look, if we get out of this alive I'll get you a whole new body."

  "Really?" Clunk's face lit up. "That would be wonderful!"

  "The way we're going, it would be a miracle."

  Clunk squared his shoulders. Or rather, he squared one and half-raised the other. "I will do my best to get us home, Mr Spacejock."

  Chug!

  Hal stared at the wall. "What the —"

  Chug, chug!

  "What is it?"

  The chugging became a steady thumping noise, and grey smoke puffed from a vent in the wall.

  "It's a generator," said Clunk. "It must be charging the gun's batteries."

  "What happens if we stop it?"

  "It'll put the gun out of action."

  "Good. We'll never get down to the entrance with that thing still active." Hal strode to the door and grabbed the handle. There was a vivid blue flash as his fingers made contact, and the next thing he knew he was flat on his back three metres away. There was a roar as the gun fired, and he felt the blast of wind as the shell passed close to his face. Seconds later, it exploded out on the plain.

  "Move, Mr Spacejock! Move!" shouted Clunk.

  Hal scrambled to his hands and knees and scuttled into the shelter of the bunker.

  "I was wondering whether they had anything to discourage meddling," said the robot. "I never thought of an electrified door handle."

  "G-gee, th-thanks f-f-for the w-w-warning," said Hal. He put a hand up to smooth down his hair, which was standing up like a toilet brush. "N-Now you try."

  "I'm not sure it would work."

  "P-perhaps not, but it would give me a laugh." Hal shook his head to clear it. "Brrr. That was nasty."

  "Shocking," agreed Clunk, returning Hal's glare with an innocent look. "Very well, I shall try." With that, he approached the door and took hold of the handle. There was a spark as he forced the door open, and then he slipped inside. A moment later the chugging stopped and Clunk emerged dusting his hands.

  Hal looked at him. "Is that it?"

  "Yes. The turret is out of action."

  "Great, let's find the backup."

  *

  The railway lines led up the gully, heading deeper into the hillside. At some stage the natural ravine had been lined and paved. Now, vigorous weeds grew between the paving stones and the walls had collapsed in several places. Hal and Clunk picked their way around the crumbling bricks and shattered pavers, heading for the narrow end of the gully. The undergrowth was up to their necks in places, making passage difficult. Finally they pushed between a pair of bushes and stopped. Ahead, the end of the ravine was blocked by a gigantic rock fall.

  "Looks like the end of the line," said Hal.

  "Not necessarily," said Clunk. "There may be a way through."

  Hal patted his pockets. "Damn, I left my handy rock-fall disintegrator back on the ship."

  Clunk approached two large rocks in the centre of the pile. The rest of the fall had cascaded around these monoliths, leaving a narrow gap between them. The train tracks ran straight through the middle. "You wait here in case the pile is unstable. And don't touch anything."

  Hal watched the robot wriggle between the boulders and vanish into the gap. He heard muffled scraping sounds for a moment or two, then all was quiet.

  "Clunk?"

  A handful of stones rattled down. Hal looked up and saw a pair of huge boulders embedded in the rock fall, seemingly poised to collapse. As he studied them, more dirt trickled down the pile.

  There was a scrape as Clunk reappeared, his head and torso white with powdery dust. "We're in luck, Mr Spacejock. There's a way through. Come on."

  Hal tore his gaze from the overhang and followed the robot into the gap. It was tight, but after a metre or two it widened into a low concrete chamber. The floor was thick with chalky dust, and Clunk's chest beam picked out a group of three groundcars lying on blocks, their yellowed windscreens coated with dust and their paint cracked and faded. On a bench there was a lathe and a collection of metalworking tools.

  "Must have been a garage," said Hal. "Hey, if we get one of these working we could drive back to the palace."

  Clunk angled the beam at the far wall, where the tracks vanished into a small tunnel. "They must have used the train to transport vehicles for repairs. Now, let's look around - the backup must be here somewhere."

  On a bench at the back of the room they found a pair of steel boxes and a bulky display screen. In front of the screen was a large keyboard.

  "Is that what you're looking for?" asked Hal.

  "I think it's just a workshop terminal. Probably used to look up repair manuals." Clunk flicked the power switch and a low humming filled the air. After a moment or two, several icons appeared on the screen. Clunk explored a few menus, then settled down in front of the machine. "This could take a while. There's a lot of data."

  "I'll take a look at the cars." Hal examined the first but the interior was gutted, and when he lifted the hood there was just an empty space inside. The other two were in a similar state, just body shells without any workings. Hal glanced at Clunk, who was engrossed at the terminal. Then he looked towards the tunnel.

  The entrance was low, barely reaching his shoulder. Hal crouched between the tracks and shuffled into the tunnel, holding his hands against the roof to maintain his balance. He'd gone two or three metres when he bumped into something solid. It was square, with rounded edges and corners, and when he explored further he felt a padded seat. Hal grinned to himself. A miniature train!

  Squeezing alongside the train's body, he clambered aboard and sat down, holding his head sideways to avoid the low ceiling. Then he felt for the controls.

  *

  Clunk was paging through data on the computer, working quickly in case the battery gave out. So far, he'd discovered more than he wanted to know about the care and maintenance of groundcars, and absolutely nothing on teleporter networks. It was frustrating, especially now there was only one backup site left to explore.

  He heard a rumble and his head snapped towards the rocks blocking the entrance. Was the rest coming down? And where was Hal?

  The rumble grew louder and a long white shape burst from the tunnel. "Clunk! Help!" shouted Hal, as the miniature train he was riding hurtled towards the fallen rocks. He was hanging on for dear life, his eyes wide and his flight suit flapping in the headwind.

  Clunk took a snapshot of Hal and his train set, and another of the fallen rocks. Once he had both he increased his processing speed to maximum, slowing time to a crawl. He laid both images side to side on his internal viewer, and ran a quick scaling test to compare the measurements. On the right-hand picture, a red line bisected Hal's neck.

  Clunk returned to normal speed, and the stationary train seemed to leap forwards. "Duck, Mr Spacejock!" shouted Clunk. "Keep your head right down!"

  Hal did as he was told, just in time. The train shot between the huge boulders and there was a squeal as it struck a glancing blow on the way through. Stones cascaded down the huge pile to the floor, rattling and bouncing like marbles. Then … silence. Clunk eyed the loose pile of rocks, ready for the worst, and he'd just breathed a sigh of relief when the whole lot began to shift.

  Clunk grabbed the briefcase and dived for the narrow gap just as the huge rocks above the entrance came down.

  *

  Hal was almost blinded by sunlight as the train burst into the narrow gully. He could just see the control panel through watering eyes, and he decided the large purple handle looked just like a brake. He pulled with all his might and the wh
eels locked instantly, grinding along the dirt-strewn rails. As the train came to a shuddering halt, Hal glanced back to see Clunk dive headlong through the cascading rock fall. He landed on his hands, executed a neat forwards roll, then ran for it, dodging falling boulders as he fought to get clear. Behind him the entire hillside collapsed with a rumble, creating a wave of choking dust.

  Suddenly two huge boulders burst out of the dust cloud, smashing the train tracks into splinters as they tumbled down the gully towards them. Clunk leapt aboard and Hal slammed the throttle forwards, launching the train along the track at breakneck speed. He could hear the boulders gaining, despite the tearing headwind whistling in his ears, and when he looked back he saw the huge tumbling rocks gaining fast.

  The train shot out of the gully and curved to the right, following the track. The boulders tumbled past on their left, close enough to splatter them with grit and stones.

  "A very close escape, Mr Spacejock," said Clunk, as the dust settled. "Once again, we leave with empty hands."

  Hal glanced over his shoulder. "Did you get the data?"

  Slowly, Clunk shook his head.

  Hal watched the hill vanish behind a spreading cloud of dust. "Where's the next site?"

  "The third backup is off the northern coast. We're going to need a flyer."

  "Where do we get one of those?"

  "The same place we got the groundcar. Now slow down. If you hit a damaged piece of track at this speed you'll kill yourself."

  Hal eased back on the throttle, and an hour or so later a line of trees appeared on the horizon. They dismounted near the palace, where a large tree had fallen across the track, completely blocking it.

  Clunk led the way through the undergrowth, first to the courtyard and then into the hangar, where they threaded their way between the wrecked ships and groundcars. At the far end, near the fallen roof, there were several tarpaulin-covered shapes.

  Clunk whisked the covers off the nearest and stood back, eyeing the machine critically. It consisted of a triangular frame with two seats bolted side by side. Behind the seats was a metal box with a pole sticking out the top, and on top of the pole there was a twin-bladed rotor. The device sat on three small wheels, one at the front and two at the back.